Please, stop it!
I am tired after the night hunt and a whole day of travel. Obviously, I could have stayed another day and night in that village but it didn't suit ? Now, honestly, I am not so sure. There will be an inn in less than an hour. I can rest there and… make the decision what to do next.
Yunmeng… I miss the place which doesn't exist anymore. I miss my brother, the person he was before the Sunshot Campaign, before his parents died. I miss my sister I've killed. No matter what the truth is. She met her death because of me.
Shije…
It's so hard to live without you in the world, which has managed to forget you or never had the chance to know you.
The blinding pain is a surprise. I land hard on the road, before I can reach ChenQing, my hand is pinned down with arrows.
I'm trying to call the resentful energy but the pain is rending me into darkness. I try to fight against it! I am not a stranger to the pain! The simple arrows should not stop me! The simple pain should not incapacitate me!
Something is terribly wrong!
Lan Zhan, forgive me… not coming back to you anytime soon…
Slowly I regain consciousness. The pain is debilitating. There's a conversation. I focus on the words spoken with a strange accent I do not recognize.
"We'll ruin him. And when he's useless we exchange him for Chief Cultivator. No way we risk him recovering and acting against us to free Wangji or avenge him."
It's not exactly what I hear but I put it in the clear sentence to be able to tell Lan Zhan this warning… even if only by Inquiry.
My captors don't hide their faces. So I do everything to remember them flawlessly. Lan Zhan will need this knowledge.
I cannot move. I want to avoid the blows but I can only lie prone and defenseless. It hurts! I don't want to die!
Lan Zhan, help me! No! I cannot drag him into the trap! Never! I have to escape or to die. I have to ruin their plan, before they ruin me. Whatever they mean. I fear, I fear so much for Lan Zhan. I want to protect him from pain and not to be a cause of it.
I lose track of time. Between being beaten, whipped, burnt. When I can I focus on gathering some resentful energy. It is difficult, not only because of my condition, but also because of the talismans and symbols they are using to secure the space, to secure their prisoner…
But still - people were killed here. It wasn't recent, but I slowly gather the shards of ghosts and coerce them into finding cultivators and leading them here. Or rather I hope I'm doing it.
When I am able to, I try to put together all the information I have. To memorize the symbols they use. The way their wards are raisen. Every bit of energy they are using against me may be a clue for Lan Zhan…
Will I ever see you?
I am terribly cold. And hot at the same time. Breathing hurts so much.
All the time I taste blood. I slowly manage to link the injuries on my hands into an array. I am not sure I've drawn it correctly. Never have done it before. Never tested it.
Everything hurts so much.
I am focusing on energy and symbols on their talismans. It is giving an illusion of escape from pain. Suddenly something is truly weird. I am in pain, of course, but this man is definitely too close to me. Slowly, really too slowly I am beginning to understand… There's nowhere I can escape, avoid him. Something is slowly tearing inside me.
Memories of pictures seen in another life…
Memories of this body before it was offered to me..
Never I…
No! No! No! You cannot see it!
"STOP, Lan Zhan, please, stop it!"
Lan Wangji could not deny.
"Wei Ying, come back to your body", he whispered and finished the spell abruptly.
The presence disappeared. The Second Jade was sitting motionless, as he was working on containing emotions, tearing him apart. He was not sure he could move or speak without screaming in pain and fury. Wei Ying spared him. Maybe he should have insisted… But he could not turn down Wei Ying's request, nor could he find strength to see his soulmate abused. He had seen enough.
I need to check on Wei Ying. I need to get up.
However the bed seemed so far, far away. He was vaguely aware that there was some flurry of activity there.
"He's breathing", he heard the healer's words.
Lan Wangji stood up slowly and directed himself towards the door. He passed a country yard, then another one, not truly recognizing them. Finally he found himself on a jetty entering the lake. It was a peaceful place, far away from the harbour. The lotuses were blossoming around him, reminding him Wei Ying's love for the taste of lotus seeds. Reminding him his enthusiasm and laugh and…
Hanguang-jun fell to his knees. Tears were slowly flowing down his face. He acknowledged them but lacked strength to fight against them.
Jiang Cheng looked in shock at the door, which had just closed after Lan Wangji.
You're leaving, aren't you? I told you… I'll break your legs to make you sit at my brother's bedside!
However his fury was too weak to cover his fear. Hanguang-jun left like he was closed in pictures he had seen, emotions he had felt. And he had been performing Empathy with Wei Wuxian?
Has he seen what was done to my brother?! What was the reason behind his leaving? The dread? The disgust? The despair?
But Wei Wuxian was breathing on his own, wasn't he?!
A low moan made Jiang Cheng open his eyes. He was not aware he closed them in first place.
"Lan Zhan?", this time the moan was recognizable.
I don't want to deal with this mess!
However the Yunmeng sect leader slowly got up and approached the bed.
"Lan Zhan?", there was a faint awareness in the wounded man's eyes. Probably not enough to recognize Jiang Cheng but enough to know he was not Lan Wangji.
"He'll be back soon", he murmured. He knew his voice had not a truly soothing quality but he tried hard.
The tears were flowing down Wei Wuxian's face and they made Jiang Cheng defenceless. His hand was hoovering in indecision near his brother's face but he was too afraid or too awkward to touch his bruised skin. He could pretend it was about not hurting further the wounded man…
"He left me… done the only right thing… it's OK… it's the better way…", Wei Wuxian was mumbling, I'll leave as soon as I can… I swear…", more tears.
"Wei Wuxian, you're safe… you need rest. Please, try to sleep…", Jiang Cheng cast a desperate glance at the healer, "Can you give him something to sleep?", he growled.
"I am afraid to send him directly into nightmares without the possibility of waking him", she replied.
Jiang Cheng nodded slowly. He needed to calm down his feverish brother. He gently touched his cheek and the wounded man recoiled. It hurt.
"Wei Wuxian… you're safe…", he repeated through a lump in his throat, "A-Xian… you're safe!", it sounded terribly awkward for him, however it did affect the wounded man who stilled.
"Shije?", the hope in his voice was killing Jiang Cheng, though he caught his brother's hand blindly searching for their beloved sister.
The Yiling Patriarch seemed to calm down. His fingers were loosely holding the other man's hand. The Yunmeng sect leader had just started to timidly hope that the sleep finally claimed Wei Wuxian when his eyes met Wei Ying's troubled gaze.
"Jiang Cheng?" he asked, clearly confused.
"Who else?", the sect leader abruptly withdrew his hand.
Wei Wuxian did not fight against it, his eyes swimming with tears.
"He left me", he whispered and the resignation in his voice hit hard.
He closed eyes and the tears continued to flow down his cheeks. He did not make a sound, silently mourning being abandoned again.
Jiang Cheng gently stood up, barely containing his fury. Zidian cracked but fortunately his brother did not react.
"Take care of him.", Jiang Cheng ordered. He wanted to say he would be back soon but he was not so sure, as the trip to Gusu took some time. He left the suffocating room, silently closing the door before he rushed to find Lan Zhan. His disciples avoided him with trepidation, as they could feel that it was more than his typical bad mood.
He caught a few of them growling at them with his questions about the Lan cultivator's whereabouts. It was a relief to find the man at the lakeside. Jiang Cheng violently approached the motionless kneeling figure. Lan Wangji was facing the lake. He did not seem to acknowledge the other cultivator's presence.
"You saw what they did to him. You saw his reaction. Didn't you?! - the Zidian was crackling in tune with his owner's fury - Are you so disgusted with him?! Is this the reason for leaving him behind? He's hurting. He doesn't recognize me but knows, the person at his side isn't the only one he needs… I've told you to get out or stay until he recovers. You decided to stay and it has taken you less than a day to break your promise and flee!"
"Wei Ying did nothing disgusting.", Lan Wangji replied, his face still turned in the lake's direction.
"Tell him! NOW!", Jiang Cheng growled relieved. He would have to kill the Chief Cultivator or die trying if he had decided to leave Wei Wuxian. He could not bear his brother so vulnerable, the proud Yiling Patriarch begging for Hanguang-jun's presence. It was simply too much.
"Come!", he ordered.
The Second Jade slowly got up. His wet face was blank. He followed the other man without a word.
Jiang Cheng stopped before the door.
"He deserves to die or live with the knowledge of your love for him", the Yunmeng Sect leader was not sure why he decided to say those words. Maybe because he needed the situation between those two finally clear. Maybe because he truly needed his wounded brother to be comforted.
These all seemed valid reasons. But the true one was the fear gnawing at him. The fear of losing his brother once again. He had to believe that Wei Wuxian would fight with all he had to remain in the world where the man whom he loved reciprocated his feelings.
He kicked the door and pushed the Chief Cultivator inside, following him closely.
A/N
Legate_of_Apples, thank you for betaing :)