At Home — Chapter Sixteen
It was all so much. If it wasn't for the sounds of the people around him and their presence he'd probably lose it.
He knew before he was the only Inhuman to make it out of the castle. It was quite obvious if he looked at the context clues close enough, and he also heard one of the agents straight up say it when he was hiding from all of them. So then why only after hearing it from Daisy's mouth to confirm such a thing that it truly set in for him?
Well, maybe it was the fact that barely five minutes before he was on the streets in Queens and fully believed he was going to die, then suddenly he woke up and it's dark with an actual living breathing monster looking down at him and then it proceeded to kill everyone in the room— but him. And after that he found out he had been stripped down to his underwear in some trillian-year-old castle that was freaking freezing, he was hearing weird sounds in his head and then also real-life gunshots through his ears. Not to mention the two guys who pointed their assault rifles at him before he could find a safe place to hide. Lukian, to be completely honest— didn't even remember dealing with them up until now when he had forced himself to relive the castle to make absolutely sure Daisy wasn't lying.
She wasn't.
The truth be told he wanted to forget it all because, really, who wanted to remember they were the only person out of a twenty-person group to make it out alive?
Not him.
It was still all surreal being back, nothing felt right anymore. He felt different, like a difference that had nothing to do with him being Inhuman. He didn't belong. Then again he never did here, but the difference between him and them was so loud now he couldn't understand how anyone didn't notice it too.
That was why hours later after Daisy and Mack had said their goodbyes and headed back for the base (which he thinks could be in D.C if he reviews all the facts correctly and mentally traces back all the turns they made, it was a very long three-hour drive, alright?) he was all quiet and reserved as the family around him were so loud even just the whistling alone fueled his headache. He wanted out but he knew for a fact they wouldn't let him go anywhere. It was nearly eleven am and they had been badgering him with non-stop questions, more than half of which were just different ways to ask if he was okay or not.
And he was fine.
It was the same damned answer each time.
So that's why when Anika finally freaking woke up from her beauty sleep he had never been more thankful. Up until he saw what she was wearing.
"Is that my sweatshirt?!"
Anika blinked at him. "I was keeping it warm for you…?" Her defense was weak at best.
"You didn't even know I was here!" He protested.
She rubbed her tired eyes. "Glad to see you're not dead." She remarked dryly with an affectionate smile. Lukian punched her arm weakly, failing to hold back his own smile.
"Anika…" Leona scolded her daughter's behavior. "Seriously?"
"Sorry mom, but also, not that sorry." She pointed a finger at the room. "You all woke me up from my very last sleep-in before hell tomorrow."
"I thought we were going to school tomorrow?" Kye pointed out innocently.
"Kye, buddy, listen here," Lukian spoke to the six-year-old that still had so much to learn. "It's the same thing."
He gasped.
It was enough to send Lukian and Anika into a fit of giggles before Leona came over and swatted them both jokingly in the heads (even though Lukian had expertly dodged the blow). "Stop corrupting my младенец," She ordered.
"Yes, Ms. Halloway," Lukian responded, still laughing.
"It's Leona, Lukian, how many times do I have to tell you?" She questioned.
Mr. Dougg looked up from his work laptop that was sitting on the kitchen's island, he took off his glasses to look at his fiance. "Honey, we both know it's a losing battle."
Lukian nodded in confirmation. "Yep."
Because the truth was he was far too terrified to call any adult by their first names even if they said it was okay. He hasn't had the best times with it in the past and he wasn't exactly open to adding more morbid memories to it. Plus, it was just weird as hell to say an adult's first name in any other form that wasn't joking.
Mr. Dougg sighed. "See?" He waved his glasses towards the Inhuman.
Leona looked down at him, the two inches she had on him making that much of a difference. Her face was nothing but seriousness and care as she put her hands on his shoulders, it was to make sure he couldn't walk away from the talk like he had done last time. Lukian immediately seized his movements the moment her hands made contact, it took everything in him to not outright flinch away from it. While Lukian knew he could one-hundred percent get out of her grasp— he didn't want to hurt her. So he stayed paralyzed with his heart beating double of what his new resting heart rate had become.
"I know you've only been with us for a month, Lukian, but you're family now," Leona spoke, her tone saying he had no say in the matter. "Whether you like it or not." Yep, he thought, no say. She continued. "We all care about you deeply, ребенок. When you were gone it was like someone turned off all the joy in the house with a flick of a switch— so, you're stuck with us, Lukian. And I promise you as long as I have a say you are never going back to that horrid place."
Ironically or not, that horrid place felt more like home than this place did.
Lukian barely restrained his scoff at her words, he had other adults promise him the very same thing only for something to happen and he was right back where he had started— St. Aidans. So he felt no reason to believe Leona's words were true, she was just another foster mom and he was going back any day now. Lukian wouldn't even be surprised if his social worker showed up right then and there to take him away.
He leaned all his weight to his left to look past the woman who still had his shoulders in her firm (but soft) grasp. "Does that mean I get my sweatshirt back now?" Lukian deflected, looking at Anika questioningly.
He had heard Ms. Halloway sigh (dammit, he forgot to ask for that Advil) before she finally removed her hands and Lukian felt like he could breathe again. It wasn't that she was unkind and her touch was anywhere close to something that'd go in his nightmares, it was someone else's who made him weary.
To hide his paranoia and denial, Lukian's eyes remained on his stolen sweatshirt. "No, seriously, can I have it back considering it's the only thing I own now?" He meant it as a joke, yet if it wasn't the reality that would be incredibly shocking.
Anika's eyes softened slightly but she wrapped her arms around the orange jumper. "It's cozy," She defended.
It was his favorite piece of clothing honestly and Lukian was ridiculously overjoyed that he still had it by some miracle (even if he didn't have it). He had earned it from his travel baseball team last season, he was the youngest boy there but he still got M.V.P of the year— hence the sweatshirt. He also had gotten a trophy but some assholes at St. Aidan's broke it. So the fact Anika was keeping from— and wearing it— made him want to break her arm in the current moment.
The only reason why he didn't is because Leona started speaking again.
"The only thing you own now?" She repeated, brows furrowed. "What do you mean, we haven't thrown anything out or given anything away if that's what you're thinking."
The pure shock paused Lukian for a moment, he shook his head. "How did you know I wasn't dead? I was taken at gunpoint. It's been four months with no indication I wasn't dead and six feet underground, there's no reason to keep anything." He tries to find her bluff, to point out the clear lie, to find the real truth, the one he always knows.
He can't find it.
Leona winces when he mentions him being dead (he doesn't understand it). "I told you your family, that's reason enough."
She must be lying (has to be). "It's illogical." He stated.
Lukian doesn't understand this either. Why? Why keep his old, falling apart, ripped, one hand-me-down too many stuff around just to collect dust and cramp the already cramped apartment? It doesn't make sense. So why?
She huffs a laugh that sounds like she's second from tears. "There's a thing called hope by the way, in case you haven't heard of it." She jokes.
"Plus… you've been with us for a month, you know there's no logic to anything she does." Anika jumps in from her new spot at the kitchen island stealing Celeb's bacon.
Mr. Dougg swats her away playfully. "Stop that,"
She takes a very exaggerated bite from her purloined bacon in response and grins.
Lukian ignores all of that and continues to stare at Ms. Halloway's face searching for anything to indicate she was joking. He came up empty.
Words fall out of his mouth before he can stop them, they sound so helpless and weak.
"You kept my stuff?"
Leona's expression softens faster than butter would if it was dipped into lava. "Of course we did."
"Even my baseball equipment?" He had to ask. He saved up forever to get all of it, even starved a few days so he could put his food money a foster parent gave him towards saving.
She smiled. "Even your baseball equipment."
Lukian wouldn't even begin to ask how she managed to get it back, last he's seen of it was in the middle of an intersection laying where he dropped it. Lukian couldn't ask, not with the lump in his throat that made him think he ate an entire apple whole. He felt like he was drowning, which was ridiculous, he wasn't even in water— and yet here he was at a loss for breath that refused to come back. It was ironic, wasn't it? The kid with air powers was going to die from lack of it.
Why would they do that? It didn't make sense, logically. He was just a kid, another source of income for them and another mouth to feed, another presence in the house when he's home (and more often he's not). He was broken, he couldn't breathe— no one wanted broken things. They were left behind and forgotten, they couldn't breathe—
Air—
Need—
Air—
Broken—
You are—
I'm fine—
Family is for chil—
He was one—
No—
He wasn't—
Broken—
Couldn't breathe—
It wasn't until Celeb was suddenly in front of him with hands on his shoulders did he realize his eyes were the size of baseballs and his mouth hung open like a fish out of water. What he didn't realize was he was no longer in the open kitchen/ living room/dining room, that it was just him and Celeb, that he was spiraling, that every scar on him itched, that the hi-pitched, choked, stuttering, about to explode kettle sound was his breathing— or lack thereof it.
The window was open, it was windy. It hurt.
His head was going to explode like that kettle. He was the kettle.
Breathe—
"Breathe with me, Lukian, come on, kid, breathe."
Slowly the high-pitched sound became closer to normal, the stuttering lessened, his breathing began to match the man in front of him.
Lukian became aware of the lack of tears on his face, they were all held up behind his eyes— he outright refused to let them come forward. They wouldn't leave, the apple in his throat was still there— also refusing as well. He also quickly became aware of his position in Mr. Dougg's arms curled up to his chest on the floor— of his room. It was kinda nice, his body didn't want to jump and hide away so he took it as a good sign. Lukian took notice of anything from his shoulders and above just plainly hurt.
Even his nose hurt.
His nose didn't hurt before, did it?
He shifted in the older man's arms, it was sorta cozy. "Why is my nose throbbing?" Lukian asked, his voice impossibly small. The answer came after a moment.
"You began to panic after Leona confirmed we still kept all your stuff, you tried to run away. The wall put a stop to that."
Lukian hmmed softly while resisting the strong urge to close his eyes. Why was he tired now? It was eleven in the morning still— much too early to be tired. But his brain felt relaxed in a way that meant sleep.
"You alright?" Celeb asked gently.
"You already asked that question," The teen pointed out. "Like twenty other times today. It's not even noon yet, you reached your limit of asking that question."
Mr. Dougg chuckled, Lukian could feel the rumbling of it through his chest. "Okay, okay— I won't ask anymore. But I want you to listen here, okay?"
Lukian just knew some annoying speech was about to happen, he nodded anyhow. Maybe if he was lucky he'll fall asleep halfway through. He knew he wouldn't be lucky though.
"About four or five years ago," Celeb started, his tone low. Ah, so not a speech but a story. He felt like this was worse somehow. "Right when I first became a detective— maybe two months after— there was a very big case my partner and I got trusted with. This group had been involved with multiple kidnappings and a homicide. We— me and my partner— got a lead on their location, we waited outside for backup to arrive. But backup took too long and the group got very suspicious of the car that was just sitting there for thirty minutes with a man and a woman inside. They investigated."
Celeb took a breath, seeming to gain confidence. "They didn't know we were detectives and we couldn't blow our covers or the entire operation was a bust. There were five of them and a kid. I never saw the kid's face— it was too dark, he was young, so small, too small to be there, and he didn't speak English either. I don't know what language he was speaking, but one minute a man was yelling at him about something then next minute there was a gun in the kid's hand and he— he shot my partner." His voice cracked, it was rough and raspy, his accent grew stronger in the moment.
Lukian forced himself to remain calm, for his breathing to not hitch, for no muscles of his to tense up, to not give anything away. His mask was in place and it wouldn't fail him. The apple in his throat grew to a soccer ball, the tears behind his eyes burned to be released. He forced the memories to go away, (go away, go away, go away) they weren't welcome in his head.
I'm fine—
I'm fine—
I'm fine—
I'm fine—
I'm fine—
I'm fine—
Everything was fine—
Celeb started the story back up again after a full minute had passed, Lukian didn't really care— he was far too lost in his head.
"I never saw the kid again after that, I still don't know who or where he is. They knocked me out and took me hostage because one of them searched the car and found our hidden badges. They wanted leverage— a safety net, I suppose. I was with them for three days before the police raid came. I was with them for three days and I had nightmares about it for years— I still do sometimes. So Lukian, look at me." When he didn't move Mr. Dougg took a finger to gently lift his chin to make the boy's eyes reach his face. Lukian stared but he wasn't really there, not that Mr. Dougg seemed to notice. "I was with them for three days and what they did haunts me, you were taken for four months. Four months." He repeated like he couldn't believe it.
Lukian was only half aware of what was happening.
Was he going into shock? Was that possible for a thirteen-year-old? He focused on his throbbing nose and splitting headache to ground him. He didn't want to go into shock. It didn't feel like he was, not that he had a reference to go off of— he just felt numb. The pain was present but his emotions had been thrown out the window.
"I don't know what happened over there if they tortured you or not, but regardless if you want to talk— to anyone— me, Leona, or someone else, we'd all be willing to listen."
Lukian heard his entire story/ speech but he only really registered the ending. Who was willing to listen? And about what? What was the story about? His mind was blank for many moments too long before vivid images came to mind. The kid who murdered— no, nope, nope, noooope. Kidnappings, it was about kidnappings. Ohh… Celeb wanted him to talk about his time in goopy carbonite!
He furrowed his brows.
When has he ever talked about something?
Well, he supposed it was better than sitting in his mind and going into shock. Lying would keep his mind busy and then the sudden shakings of his hand would make more sense with provided context.
Readying himself, Lukian let the burning tears fall and tucked himself back into Celeb's chest. The red pajama shirt was quickly soaking up his tears. He shook his head subtly a couple of times as if he was trying to sike himself out of it, after all, when has he ever talked about something?
He drew in a very shaky breath and spoke in the quietest voice he had.
"I-I don't like needles."
His voice sounded so small, he could hear the real, genuine, present trauma behind it even if every bit of it was made up.
Good.
He hadn't lost his touch.
"Lukian, did they…" Celeb asked slowly. "Did they inject you with anything?"
He made himself cry harder before nodding. "It-It ma-m-made e-everyone sick-k." He said, his voice broken. Lukian wanted to roll his eyes at himself, he sounded like Kye after he scraped his knee for the fourth time that day.
"Everyone?" Celeb questioned.
Lukian felt himself nod once more, he stifled too. "The-The— The others." He stated before 'breaking down'.
God, he felt pathetic. Crying his heart out into his foster mom's boyfriend's shirt who he had only met a handful of times before, as well as shaking like a leaf and mumbling incoherent things that even he didn't know what he was trying to say.
He wasn't exactly sure how long he was supposed to keep this up for, but after a minute of Mr. Dougg's absent condolences of 'it's okay' 'you're safe' and 'you'll be right soon' he started to slow it down. His hitching breathing was a bitch to hear in his head, the whistling sounded more broken than his voice was minutes ago. He froze his sobbing instantly once he heard a sound in his head that was three rooms away.
The knocking of the front door.
Someone got up from the couch, the leather crinkled.
"I'll get it," Ms. Halloway said— now in the kitchen. Or was she, Mrs. Halloway, now? She wasn't married yet, but she was engaged to be married.
Well, it hardly mattered as Lukian knew he should be focusing on the fact that he could hear everything that was happening in the main room like he was in it— despite being down the hall and behind a closed door. And there weren't exactly paper-thin walls either. While he knew it was all because of his powers, he didn't mean to suddenly start eavesdropping on the other room at the drop of a hat.
Or the knock of the door.
Speaking of which, he heard the locks being turned and the metal door swinging open.
"Oh! You came so fast, right then." Leona greeted whoever it was. "Com'on in!"
He recognized the clicks of heeled shoes the moment they stepped on the wooden floors. Lukian had a sinking feeling in his chest. His heart completely dropped the moment he heard…
"Lukian! Come on in here, someone's here to see you!"
He couldn't help the hatred-filled glare that was directed at the police detective.
Yeah, he huffed. Family my ass.