Disclaimers: I don't own anything.
Inspiration: I was listening to that theme song of Bleach D-Technolife by UVERworld (did I get that correct? HAHAHA.) and I suddenly got inspired to write the next chapter of this story. First off, I'M SORRY! I know most of you wanted to SLAP me for abandoning the story for a year and I have no excuses. These past few months has been pretty rough for me.

Continue reading and I hope you like it.

For LEX for inspiring me to move on to all the things and people I've lost this past year.

For my best friend KATE and DEEJAY whose wedding I won't be able to attend. I love you both!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, minna!

-A

-;-

When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl
-;-

All family has its secrets
-;-

Death is only the beginning.
-;-
No one was able to know how much pain Ayuzawa Misaki has seen, how much torture she had undergone and how many deaths she had witnessed.
-;-

Eleven:

I couldn't sleep—not even a wink.

My head has been running around in full circle for the past two days and after careful evaluation, I realized I've been thinking about nothing and none other than Usui Takumi. It was stupid.

I felt stupid.

And the questions would come rushing in. Why? Even I couldn't answer that. I look into the mirror and would repeatedly ask myself why I keep on thinking about it but no answer comes up.

By the end of the day, I decided to simply give up.

Whatever it maybe that's happening to me could be nothing but just a phase. Maybe, I was just really too caught off guard by the very sudden invitation of his two days ago.

I pondered about that, as well. But mostly, questions that popped has started with nothing but why's. Like why did I agree? Why did he invite me? Why did he suddenly invite to give me a ride? Why me of all students in the Academy?

And worse, why is my heart beating like this?

It felt… weird. Like redemption. The feeling and thought of redemption is weird. It's like hope. Although why I'm associating Usui Takumi with Hope and Redemption is something beyond me, I couldn't still stop myself from continuing to do so. And worst, my heart is aching. Like being clenched and unclenched, repeatedly. Like it was dying and being revived. Always two things at the same time. Always confusing.

He is confusion—Usui Takumi that is.

"Earth-to-Ayuzawa."

I glanced up at Sakura and the cup of coffee I asked her to buy me. This has also been becoming a habit lately—drinking coffee. I've been drinking nothing but coffee for the past two days now and I wonder if this was one of the reasons why I've been overthinking a lot of stuff.

"If staring at me is your way of saying 'thank you', then you are very much welcome, Ayuzawa." She said sardonically.

I couldn't contain my amusement as I laughed at her, took my coffee and sipped from it. The warmth cascaded down my throat like fire—but it was comfortable. I've been feeling stiff a lot lately, as well. Must be the cold. But indeed, I feel odd.

Like I'm going to get sick or something. I stomped down on that idea. If I think too much about it, I might really end up getting sick.

"Are you okay? You've been pretty weird these past few days." She noted while staring analytically at me—being her usual suspicious self. "And your weirdness started after you had that conversation with Takumi-sama."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not because of him."

"You've been keeping secrets from me." Her eyes narrowed in mistrust. I didn't answer and instantly dropped my eyes to the table. It isn't like I wanted to keep secrets from her. It's just that it isn't very easy to share some things because these are very new to me. I've never had someone—a girl friend—to share secrets with.

In the end, I sighed. "It isn't like that, Sakura."

"Well, it's fine. I just want you to be more open. You seem so secretive it's starting to look freaky." She paused for a heartbeat and says something that got me more flustered. "I mean, if you're also interested on Usui Takumi, it's totally fine. You're my friend… so I guess I really don't mind. That was weird, no?"

I blushed beet red, almost spilling the drink to myself and glances up at her. "I am not interested in him."

"Are you trying to convince me or are you trying to convince yourself?"

I glowered at her. "I am not trying to convince anyone because that is nothing but the truth. I am not interested in Usui Takumi, period." I mean, why would I? That in itself is horrifying.

She grinned at me, as if she caught me stealing candies in Shizuko's candy jar. "Then, spill. What did you two talked about days ago? When he left you to my mercy, you looked as though you've seen him buck-naked. And the blush has been pretty prominent on your cheeks every time he's around—don't think I didn't notice. I am not your roommate for nothing. I know when you're blushing out of irritation and when you're blushing out of awkwardness. And you two have been pretty awkward around each other I'm starting to think I'm not the only one who has notice."

Bull's eye. I wanted to hit myself in front of her for acting inelegant. Not like I'm really elegant in the first place but I shouldn't have been acting like that in the first place. It's probably my fault that Takumi was also acting weird around me—which I clearly didn't notice because I've been avoiding him as much as I could these past few days.

I suddenly felt awful.

I stared at Sakura, waiting for a response and sips from my coffee cup, instead. I sighed. "He invited me."

She shrieked like a banshee; which totally surprised me I nearly jumped out of my seat. "To the frickin' dance?!"

"No!"

"Out?!"

"No, Hanazono, he didn't invite me out nor to the dance!" I explained hastily, evading curious glance thrown at our direction.

"Then what?!" she pressed; her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. "Please, Misaki, details! Details!"

I almost laughed. I couldn't helped but wonder what's so interesting about Usui Takumi that she'd begged for details… and ended up sighing at the outward lie. Of course, he's interesting. What's the use of denying stuff when the truth will come out eventually? I am interested in him. Why or when it started, I couldn't answer, as well.

I turned back to Sakura to further explain things—while trying my best not to spill some stuff about my real destination. "You remember that I'm going home on the day of the dance, right?" she nodded hurriedly. "Well, he said something like how the bus wouldn't drive me as far as to my place so he offered me a ride."

There was a long pause as she stared at me in varying expressions: amusement, bewilderment, disbelief and awe. And then, there was confusion. That part I could totally understand. Because I was confused, as well.

And after a long moment of silence, she slumped down on her seat and locked her eyes on me; awe still colored her face. "Wow. Usui Takumi. Wow."

I agreed with her. No words can really describe what we feel as of the moment. Usui Takumi? Wow. "I know."

"How come you could act so… normal around him? I probably wouldn't be able to say coherent stuff if ever a chance arrives that I'm alone with him." She muttered in confusion. "I mean, he's dashing, okay? But he's so perfect he almost seemed… intimidating."

Well, I had trouble with words on some times with him, as well. "You're not the only one."

"But you're much better. At least you can act natural around him. Most of the girls here end up being speechless when he's around. Some would even drop dead like a fly." She shrugged with nonchalance. "But you two? You act so normal around each other. I'm not saying he's not normal with his friends but he hasn't allowed anybody in ever since first grade. It's just him, Hideki-kun, Yuki and Kanou-kaichou. When Aoi came, he became even more unapproachable. But he seemed to have easily let you in—even went as far as asking about you from Shizuko."

That got my attention. My head snapped towards her. "He didn't."

"He did. I witnessed that—front seats." The expression on her face made me believe her. After all, she may love gossip but she's not one to fabricate stories. "He was like, 'you're roommates with the new student?' to Shizuko who simply nodded. I didn't understand their conversation much because there weren't much words spoken, Maybe, it's family thing. But he asked about you."

My curiosity peaked. I really wanted to ask even if I shouldn't. It would only fuel her suspicions on me being interested about him. But I couldn't help it. "What did he asked?"

Sakura shrugged. "Just some basic questions. But you know their family. They're all related and stuff so basic questions for normal people like us are probably not basic questions for them. He asked about your name, age and class. Shizuko said, 'how would I know? We haven't got the schedules yet' and he was like, 'you're just losing your touch'. And she was like, 'Fine then. I'll hack into the records for you. Have the money deposited into my bank account'. Then they probably realized I was there because he gave me this look that translates, 'say this to anyone and you're body will be found in the Northern Woods'."

I snorted at her. "You're exaggerating."

"I like doing that but you know me. I won't exaggerate on you." When I didn't reply, she went on. "He's probably interested on you."

"He isn't."

"Come on now and don't be such a skank." She says sharply. "It's like I explained some heavy stuff on you and all you answer me is you still don't understand. Usui Takumi is interested on you." Sakura emphasized the words as though she meant to mark it on every part of my body, to stamp it on every vein and cells in my entire being that would make it even harder for me to deny.

But her next words astonished me even more than the first one.

"And you to him." And before I could even answer my usual denial, Sakura immediately cut me off. "Don't bother denying it, Ayuzawa. It's not like I'm going to get mad at you or something." She looked at me dead in the eye and says, "You're interested on him. You don't have to deny it. Don't bother. It's normal for a girl like you to be interested to a normal guy like him. It's totally fine. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's normal."

I stared at her in defeat. Knowing Sakura, once she decides on something, I won't be able to contradict it anymore. But her thinking that I liking someone is fine isn't what bothers me. It's her thinking I like Usui Takumi is normal is what's bothering me.

Because God knows it's not normal. It's a curse. And me liking someone is like Death taking away Life.

And I wouldn't want to have a hand on Usui Takumi's death.

Because one more death of someone I value… someone I consider already as a friend… will be too much for me to handle.

If Usui dies… it would be the end.

.

I rushed in to the cafeteria with my binder and books pressed again my chest tightly. I was so used with slamming against the students to get into the pantry that being knocked meant nothing anymore. Sometimes, I was already considering as a form of physical exercise to ready me to the world and I wouldn't mind it much.

After all I've been through; getting slammed against the floor is nothing anymore.

Students talked and laughed loudly while on their way to lunch. Some are running while some are talking their sweet time walking. I congratulated them for being comfortable in such an early morning rush while here I am, struggling to get past students without being noticed. Trying to make my way past a horde of students blocking the entrance while clinging tightly to my books—as if they were my source of strength and sanity—I was surprise when a flash of white shot out of nowhere and grab my books off my grip. Long finger circled through my forearm and I nearly gasped for air when my hip slammed against hard body as Usui Takumi dragged me against him.

I was stunned speechless; my brain unable to immediately process what's happening. And when it did, I did the last thing I wanted to do; I flushed beet red. "W-What are you doing?"

"Helping you inside, obviously." He lolled lazily; not removing his firm grip on my arm. I tried to squirm away but he still didn't let go. Instead, it was as if his grip would turn tighter whenever he would notice me try to evade him. After one last try, he shot me down a look. "I'm not going to hurt you, stupid."

I quickly denied his assumption. "I-I wasn't thinking that, stupid!"

Takumi rolled his eyes and dragged me closer to him. And it was like Moses dividing the ocean into two because upon seeing him, students quickly parted and gave way for His Majesty. It made me want to mock him but I couldn't come up with a perfect response so we ended up falling into a deep abyss of major and awkward silence.

The wish to be eaten by a hole in the floor arrived as I tried to hide behind my hair because students and teachers alike are now looking into our direction.

From a distance, Hideki and Yuki waved at us; informing us of the location of our table. I wave back at them, about to go approach our table only to stumble backwards when Usui Takumi kept his grip on my arm.

I looked up at him, bewildered. "You can let go of me now, thank you."

"Aren't you getting food first?"

I looked down at my books on his other hand. "I had an assignment to scram so eating is really on the last part of my list."

Rolling his eyes, he dragged me towards the line and pointed with his eyes the food menu. "Eat."

I started to complain. No way is this guy ordering me around! "Hey now—"

"Eat." He narrowed his eyes at me, warning me that if I didn't comply, he'd publicly evaporate me into nothing. It made me rethink about my life and grabbed my wallet but he was fast as he stole and pocketed it.

I stared at him in surprise. "Hey, give it back!"

"Just choose, Ayuzawa."

"My, I didn't know you need money that much. You could borrow properly and I wouldn't mind lending you some."

But despite my loud voice, it didn't seem to bother him much at all. "Just get us some food, Ayuzawa, and don't be such a pest."

The word us bothered me more than it should. And it made me feel more alone because I'm so use to being me that I haven't thought of me sharing some stuff with another one. I continued staring at him, trying to fathom the mystery that was Usui Takumi and when he stared down at me, green eyes intense and smoldering, I quickly hid my eyes behind the thick strands of my hair and pretended as though I was choosing something from the menu board.

When we were done being awkward and buying our meal, I hurried to our table while Takumi walked behind me. On the table, Shizuko gave me that blank yet curious look while Sakura's eyes had that wicked glint that almost made me shake my head.

Yuki was the first to greet me. "Third period made you late?"

"You got it." I said and takes the vacant seat next to Sakura, elbowing her when she smiled meaningfully at me. There were two more vacant seats on our table. The one was next to Hideki-kun which was across me and the other one was next to Aoi who was seated next to me. I already expected Takumi to take the seat next to Aoi since it was the nearest one to him so imagine my surprise when he suddenly tapped Aoi by the shoulder and told him to move to the vacant seat next to him and occupied the now vacant chair next to me.

His actions gained more eyes than expected as he casually sat next to me, leaned lazily on the backrest of the wooden chair and picked on the fries.

Hideki was the first to react. "Are you okay, Takumi?"

It was Aoi who answered for him. "Don't mind him. He just has a lot in his mind lately. Soccer and swimming and then the preliminaries."

"Didn't know you're one to get worried about your grades, Usui." Shizuko commented casually while fumbling with the fries on her fingers.

Mentally, I agreed. He seemed so smart and flawless that I was also near to believing he could almost do all the things at the same time. But then again, he's also human. I darted a quick glance on his direction but it was as though he was equally conscious of my stares as well that he immediately caught my eyes.

I looked away. Behind me, he sighed. And I froze when I felt his fingers touch a few strands of my hair. "Didn't know you have strands of brown on your hair, Ayuzawa."

"Didn't know you were interested on some other people's hair, Usui." Shizuko replied; completely amused by her cousin's odd actions.

And I was completely and utterly surprise, as well. Because Usui Takumi touching my hair isn't something I've downright expected especially when we both feel disgust towards one another. In fact, our relationship ever since we first met hasn't improved to the point that we can freely touch each other's hair out of interest.

Takumi gave Shizuko a bored look and drops his hand back to the backrest of my chair; his fingers slightly grazing my shoulders. And I felt it, that slight electric shock that you get when you accidentally touch the end of a live wire. I glanced back at him again, confusion etched on my face and for a moment, I thought he looked a bit familiar.

As if I've seen him from somewhere... from another time and day.

From another life.

It confused me for a bit and when his eyebrows shot up in inquiry for my reaction, I quickly looked away and tried to search my head as to where I've seen him before. And when I couldn't remember a thing, I decided to simply shrugged it off.

Maybe… just maybe, it was just a dream.

.

"There's something odd between you and Usui a while ago."

There's no use denying that because I couldn't help but agree more. The more I look at him, the more Usui Takumi seems really familiar… as if I've really encountered him somewhere before Miyabigaoka.

I paused scanning the thick spines of the book lined on the shelves and glances at her. I agreed with her statement. "I know. He seems really familiar."

She snorted delicately at me. "Stupid. I wasn't talking about whether he looks familiar or not. I was telling you that you two were acting different a while ago. Even Hideki was asking me what's wrong." And then, she stared critically at me. "Is there something between you and him?"

"Why would you ask that?" because seriously, why would she? Did it really seem like there was really something between us? And if ever there is, what were they thinking it might be?

Shizuko squared her shoulders. "Well, first off, you two were acting odd a while ago. Usui Takumi just doesn't sit next to a girl or asked Aoi to move to another sit when he can take the vacant spot next to him."

"You're not saying he's interested about me, too, aren't you?"

"Isn't he?"

"Stop that." I shushed her, continuing to scan the books before me. It was a bit hard talking to her when we're both at the library doing research about witchcraft, I wasn't even sure why she thinks that there's something about witchcraft here in Miyabigaoka library. Giving up, I grabbed some random book and slumped down on the carpeted floor; mindlessly scanning on it.

She sat down next to me. "You said he was familiar. What did you mean by that?"

I glanced back at her again and sighs. "Well, I just feel like I've met him somewhere before."

"Television, perhaps?"

I snorted at that. Because first, I'm not even the type to watch stuff on televisions and second, I didn't know he appears on commercials, as well. "Didn't know he's an actor."

"He's not. But his family is always being followed by paparazzi due to the family business. And Maria is a socialite known in the fashion world. If they are not in the television, they are all over the tabloids. That's why Takumi decided that he would enter Miyabigaoka. The security here is high-profile that no one could easily enter premises undetected."

"I don't read the daily dirt, Shizuko." I reasoned because I really don't. Back in my place, where tabloids are nonexistent to our family, my nose was almost always stuck in front of a thick book my Dad bought for me. It is that or I'm out helping Mom with her painting stuff.

"Then, where do you think you've seen him?" she presses.

I tried hard to think about it. But the more I tried thinking about it, the more it felt as though something was trying to block me from remembering it. As though it was a memory long forgotten… or a memory that I shouldn't forgot but at the same time, shouldn't remember, as well.

I glanced back at Shizuko who was waiting for an answer. "I couldn't remember."

"Don't try to dwell much in it." She advises and stands, lending out her hand to help me up. I accepted the offer and allowed her to pull me up. "So, you're really not going to the dance? My source told me you were offered a ride by someone to the shrine."

I rolled my eyes at that; knowing full well that her source is none other than Sakura. "You can tell your source she's not very discreet hiding herself. But no, my decision stands. I'm not a fan of dances, you know that. I couldn't even walk properly without finding something to trip into."

"Yes, that's totally you." She agrees and lowers her eyes to the book I was holding. "What's that book for?" I glanced down at it and shrugs; finding nothing of importance. "Nothing. Just grabbed it randomly. I'm going ahead first to the dormitories. Wanna come?"

"No. I have to drop by somewhere. Hideki needs help with his assignment."

"Love-love moment." I teased her.

"Idiot." She answers disdainfully and adjusts her bag on her shoulders. "I'll see you tonight."

"Later."

.

I didn't went to the dormitory as planned and instead, decided to simply hang out by the benches near the dormitories for a bit while waiting for Sakura despite the biting cold. The woman still had detention duties and she mentioned how she didn't want to go back to the dormitories alone and asked me to wait for her every day so she can have someone to lashed out her anger at.

Abusive woman.

I was in between reading some of my notes from my English class and as though an invisible energy pulled my head up, I looked straight before me and notice Usui Takumi walking towards my direction.

My heart pumped unnecessarily fast. I mentally calculated how fast he would be able to get to me with those impossibly huge strides of his and how long it would take me to actually get up from my seat and run straight to the dorms.

In the end, my ass remained rooted on the wooden bench until he occupied the vacant spot next to me. "There's something weird about you."

"You're one to talk." I dished out as sarcastically as I could. But to my horror, my voice came out as nothing but a whisper.

"And you've been hiding something from me—you and Shizuko."

I tense at the sudden turn of the conversation. This, I also didn't totally expect. I snapped my head towards his direction and my voice came out harsher than necessary. "Whatever it may be, it's totally none of your business, Takumi."

He stared at my direction; an inexpressible emotion coloring his eyes as though he heard something he shouldn't hear. As if there was something over what I responded that gave away the secret he was searching for. But this happened only for a minute because the expression suddenly disappeared and was replaced by his usual cold and stoic appearance.

And I hated it—how, why and when, I couldn't answer. I hated not being able to tell him what he's seeking for. I hated keeping secrets from him knowing that in the end, he would still try to find out and it will endanger him.

Not when I know something is coming for me.

That something, I could feel, has found and is going to haunt me dead.

I exhaled, trying my best to look calm and normal, and closes the book I was reading. I dumped all of my stuff in my bag and stands to go back to the dorm. I'm sure Sakura can handle herself. But me? I couldn't handle myself if this is about Takumi.

She was wrong when she said I can act normal around him because in truth, I couldn't. I have to admit it; I'm a complete mess around him, as well.

But just when I thought I was able to escape him, I was surprise when he suddenly shot his arm out and grabbed me by the elbow, dragging me down to his lap. My knees buckled and I stumbled down to him; kneeling in an awkward way since he was holding me by one arm and my other arm was trying to support my frame and heavy bag at the same time.

I growled at him; startled by the sudden intrusion in my private space. I've never been this close to him before. Or maybe I was but this sudden proximity startled me to the point that I could barely breathe. "W-What in the world—"

"Don't think I didn't notice but you've been avoiding me and it's really pissing me off, Ayuzawa. If you have a problem with me then spit it out."

The command caught me off guard. But I was more caught off guard by the proximity of our faces. And I've never seen him this close. I couldn't believe someone can be so… so beautiful. He was so beautiful I could hardly breathe. His eyes were so green and heavy-lidded—looking his usual lazy but intense self. My eyes trailed down to his slightly parted lips and my mind immediately created images as to how it would feel to the touch. My mind wondered what kind of sensations those lips could create once it touches something—apart from usually spouting trash.

He was so beautiful.

He was so, so beautiful.

His eyelashes casted shadows across his face that made him look even more elusive and refined. It was like looking at an artfully created sculpture, a prized painting… a beautiful angel. Whoever invented the word beautiful must have someone like Usui Takumi in his mind.

His parents must have been so proud having someone like him—if only he wasn't such an ass sometimes.

"Quit looking at me like that." He snapped at me and next thing I realized, he released my arm and I stumbled backwards and onto the cold floor.

I glanced at him again, too surprised to act embarrassed. "Like what?" was the only question I was able to form.

"Like you wanted nothing but to be kissed." he hissed irritably.

I flushed tomato red. That was something I didn't expect to hear from him. Was that how I looked a while ago? That I wanted to be kissed by him? I quickly organize myself, fixing my messy hair and regain my balance, trying to look the least bit human to avoid further embarrassing myself in front of him. Quickly, I picked up my stuff, meaning to really leave him all by myself. After all, I didn't want to be left into his mercy after what he just said.

But before I could even turn away from him, I was surprise when he suddenly jumps into his feet and grabbed me by the arm; forcing me to look him dead in the eyes. I was confused for a moment as he searched something into my eyes; looking for something I couldn't understand. And when he found what he was searching for, my eyes rounded when he dips his head down and gently pressed his lips on my lips.

The action caught me off guard as my breath got caught into my throat. His hand was firm on my elbow while the other one quickly held the back of my head in place as though he was trying to make sure that I wouldn't be able to move away. My other hand was trapped in between our chests while my startled mind was trying to figure out the best thing to do: to push him away or to tear myself away from him.

But I couldn't.

My body wouldn't move. And his lips were so, so warm it felt as though this should have happened a long time ago. Or rather, as though this has happened from a long time ago.

Takumi pressed his lips to mine even more, and suddenly, there were explosions beside me ears. There were different sounds, different colors that exploded right before my eyes.

Beautiful. Baffling. Bizarre.

I could barely create the right sentence and words to describe the moment. Because all I know is the feel of his lips on mine, his hands on my elbow and on the back of my head. My hand on his chest and his eyelashes against my cheeks. I didn't even remember when my hands dropped my bag and grip the collar of his shirt tightly, pulling him to me, pushing myself into him.

Or whose heart was beating fast and heavy.

I couldn't remember a time I felt like this. Not with anyone. Not even to the man that I thought was the one. But the bad memories quickly went away, thrown into oblivion. All I felt was his lips; his hand angling my face for what seemed to be a preparation for a deeper kiss. This shouldn't happen, I know it shouldn't. But I allowed it to be.

I didn't know why. It was wrong… but at the same time, it felt absolutely right.

As though this was preordained.

Green, there were so many colors of green flashing before my tightly shut eyes. And the realization startled me. Quickly, I snapped my eyes open, frightened of what I would discover. But it was his serene face I saw. It was almost dark around us and what faint sunlight grazes his ethereal face. It was beautiful and obscure at the same time. His eyes were softly shut; eyelashes still brushing against my warm cheeks. I could almost feel his lips moving, taste the flavor of his mouth and hear the singing of his blood.

My wrist felt warm. I knew it was the bracelet heating up. And it took me a moment to realize the repercussions of this kiss. What it could take away from him. The effects it will have on his system that instantly, before I could even get lost in the abyss of bliss, I quickly tear myself away from him. And as usual, I ended up losing my balance that I stumbled backwards and fell on my behind on the ground.

If Takumi was surprise, he was so good in hiding it. He just stared down at me, as though I was under microscopic viewing before he fixed himself as if nothing happened.

As if he didn't just jumped on me.

I tried to make myself look angry. "What was that all about?!"

Takumi smoothed out his crumpled collar and shoves his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. "Just to be clear, Ayuzawa."

The seriousness in his voice startled me. But I was still angry and confused at the same time. "Of what?!"

With nonchalance, Takumi shrugged. "Just to be clear."

That and he walks away, leaving me dumfounded.

.

"You look like you've been through some shit."

I glanced at Sakura, worried she'd see something in my eyes but I must have stared at her too fast that I got whiplash. Groaning, I quickly ducked into my desk and massage my nape; trying to ease the pain on one of the affected veins.

"You look terrible, by the way."

"Thanks." I muttered sardonically before lifting my face up to stare at her. "I feel terrible, as well. If I may add."

"What happened?" she inquired.

I did a double take. After all, telling her what happened is something I'm not really comfortable about. Don't get me wrong. I trust Sakura. But this isn't a normal circumstance for me. I'm not comfortable sharing this type of information to anyone especially when I'm not sure myself what happened.

My stupid mind started dwelling on the kiss again.

My brain went numb.

Kiss.

Usui Takumi and I kissed.

Gah!

But aside from the embarrassment that Usui-freaking-Takumi just jumped me, there was also the wave of confusion… the complexity. Why would he kiss me? Why would he do that? Why me? And what did he meant when he said just to be clear?

Just to be clear on what?

I couldn't understand. But what I couldn't understand is the sudden rush of emotions within me. The flow of blood in my veins… the harsh beating of my heart. Usui Takumi is certainly not my first kiss. I've been kissed a lot before. Most of them are by force. But I haven't felt the way he made me feel when he kissed me hours ago. Because as much as I hated to admit it, the kiss certainly made me feel… alive.

Like I've been save.

And I hated it. I hated that feeling. The feeling of hope and redemption. Because I may have hopes of having the curse be lifted but I've long diminished the thought of being saved.

And Usui Takumi just gave me that feeling without any effort, without any notice… and painlessly uncomplicated. And now, things will get complicated between us—something that I didn't expected to feel about him.

Complication.

Complication is an odd emotion.

But the question remains the same, the kiss has happened about hours ago from now so why is my heart still beating fast?

I heaved out a defeated sigh only to look up when Shizuko entered the room without preamble; the expression on her face made me think something tragic happened. And even Sakura seemed to think so because she quickly jumped to her feet to inquire her about her grave expression as well.

"What happened?" she asked, worried.

Shizuko stared at me instead. "What happened?"

I was confused. "What do you mean?"

"I have no idea; that's why I'm asking you." She answers, throwing her pouch on the table lamp next to the door and stomps forward to occupy the seat next to me. "Well, Suzuki was walking me to the bus when we met him by the elevators. He looked like someone killed his favorite cat."

Mentally, I groaned. Was he regretting it? I tried to save face by feigning ignorance of what she's asking me. "Then why ask me? I haven't seen him ever since lunch period."

"You're a bad liar, aren't you?"

"Why?" my heart thumped. Knowing Shizuko, knowing a bank account is probably the easiest thing for her to do.

"Well, when he asked him why all he said was, 'I pissed Ayuzawa'."

I paused at that. "Oh."

Oh.

Was he worried that he pissed me? But I was still bothered. That was the point there. The point is why did he kiss me? And what did he want to clear out? I remembered the offer for a ride… and wondered if I should have it cancelled—to make him feel that I was really pissed.

To make him feel that what he did is something that I didn't like—and wouldn't like. That I'm not like most of the girls in this Academy that would do anything and fall under his feet to praise him. That the kiss could end up life-threatening… and life-changing for both of us.

Because God knows that after that kiss, something has awaken.

And that something is going to haunt me—us—anytime soon.

"Well? Are you just going to sit there gawking at me like an idiot?" Shizuko snaps after a long-period of silence; her last statement already long forgotten. Even Sakura looked as though she they were speaking with a mentally-handicapped person the way she was giving me the looks.

I gave Shizuko the look that tells her I can't tell it to her with Sakura watching us. She seemed to have instantly catch on because her lips twitched so fast it was almost an imagination before she stands to gather her purse again.

"Never mind. That bastard must have done something stupid again. I'll call Aoi." That and she left to call Aoi; leaving me to mercy of Sakura.

When she was gone, Sakura stared at me inquiringly. "Well?"

"Don't well me. I have no idea what she's talking about as well." I muttered; defeated. "Don't mind me. I'll be fine. Maybe it's just the weather."

She seemed to have believe the lie as well because she finally gave up inquiring me, shrugged her shoulders and went on to preparing some coffee.

.

As to how Shizuko was able to allow Aoi to enter the dorm past curfew hours, I've absolutely no idea.

"So…"I started; still confused as to why we need Aoi's presence when we can talk about it one-on-one. "—what's all these about?"

"Spill." Shizuko orders.

I almost snorted at the woman. Only she can order me around like that despite knowing that what I can only share her are need-to-knows. But knowing Shizuko, she'd probably end up blowing my brains off if I refuse telling her what she wanted to know.

I heaved out a defeated sigh; wondering how I should begin telling her something that my mind has been denying now for days. "I don't know where to start."

"How about the beginning?" Aoi offered patiently. "It's not everyday that my cousin would just pissed someone off and feel extremely bad about it. These are all news to me."

"Imagine being in my situation when he said that absent-mindedly." Shizuko says while staring critically at me. "You didn't do anything stupid to Takumi, right?"

"Newsflash, Kaga, he was the one that pissed me off, remember?" I answered irritably. I just couldn't sit here in silence when I was being the one blamed when clearly enough, the culprit has already admitted his fault. "I just don't know where to begin. All I know was that I was waiting for Sakura's detention to be over and next thing I know, we were kissing—"

"Kissing?!" Shizuko and Aoi gasped in synchronization.

"Let me correct that!" I snapped. "He jumped me!"

"Takumi just don't jumped people around—especially girls like you." Aoi defended me.

That ticked me off. "You wanna ask him? You think I'm lying?"

"I'm just saying—"

"Okay. Calm down everybody." Shizuko shushed Aoi and returns her serious eyes at me again. "Start from the beginning and please kindly enlighten us of what happen. Why did he kiss you? How? And when did it start?"

I flushed. This is exactly not a conversation I really wanted to deal with. My vision blurred and for a moment, I felt dizzy. Shizuko and Aoi seemed to have notice that but kept quiet about it when I gave them the look that I'm all right. When I was certain I won't vomit on them amidst my story-telling, I searched my brain for the right words—words that would help me understand the mystery that was Usui Takumi.

I sighed. "As I have mentioned before, I was waiting for Sakura in front of the dormitories. I was by the bench, reading some book I borrowed from the library when he came. We were… arguing."

"Of course, you are." Aoi muttered sardonically.

I glared at him while Shizuko elbowed him to shut him up and stares back at me, urging me to continue. "What are you arguing about?"

I remembered that I haven't told them yet about his invitation so I decided to skip that part. That would be another conversation. And that would be another reason for them to think that there was really something happening between us.

"Nothing of importance." I whispered, hoping they'd let the little pass. They did. "So we were arguing and I decided to walk out on him. But he didn't let me."

"Maybe he wanted to walk out first?"

"Maybe, maybe not." I answered Aoi's idea "So he dragged me down to him and we were just… staring at each other." I couldn't help but blushed a deep shade of red as I recollect the memory. My wrist started to felt warm again and unknowingly, I scratched the bracelet, trying to calm myself and my heart rate. But I couldn't seem to calm down and my heart was beginning to beat its fast pace… as though I've been into a marathon. My brain began to pull out memories of his lips—of the kiss—and how good it felt and how fast my heart was beating during that time… as though I was in that exact situation once again.

"What's happening to you?"

Shizuko's question snapped me out of my reverie. And when I glanced up at them, unaware that I've been staring into my clasped fingers for a few moments, I was startled when the two of them gasped and quickly looked away.

I started to panicked. "What's wrong?"

Shizuko shut her eyes close for a moment before she heaved out a sigh and stares back at me again. "You're so beautiful. Stop it, whatever it is you're doing."

Once again, I panicked. Not because I was affecting them but because she was fighting it. Had Shizuko been normal—or like what most people I've met—she'd probably end up attacking me right now. I tried calming myself, massaging the bracelet to calm it, but the memories of Usui Takumi kissing me keeps on escaping the binds of my control, and that seemed to have make my heart beat faster and faster at an alarming rate.

"Ayuzawa, stop it!" Shizuko hissed at me, there was already the color of warning on her voice now.

But I couldn't. I started to panicked instead as my eyes locked on Aoi who has his hands in his ears as though he was trying to block something. No! I did what I thought was the best. I tried to stretch my mind into him, pull him to me to keep things straight. But that seemed to have worsen things because he snapped crazed eyes at me, uncertain of what to do and feel.

"Ayuzawa, I'm sorry." Were his last words as he jumped on me.

I winced when my back hit the floor as he knocked me out of the chair I was seated at. Shizuko gasped, startled over her cousin's behavior. Clearly, she have not yet seen Aoi behave like this. I felt blood in my mouth. The result of me accidentally biting my lips. It took me seconds to realized that Aoi was on top of me, one hand holding me down and the other was still on his head as though he was still trying to control the remains of his sanity.

"Ayuzawa!" Shizuko hissed.

I stared at her, panicked in my eyes as I tried to figure out what to do. Yet, despite the turmoil, Usui Takumi still kept on reappearing inside my head, making my brain hazy and my heart beating faster that breathing is almost difficult. "I'm trying!"

"Try harder!"

I did as what she said. But I still failed miserably. Aoi hissed as he locked his eyes on me. And I felt like a prey trapped in the mercy in the hands of my predator. I knew he was on his limits. And that even if I was able to calm myself and dissolve the memories, he's too far gone now to be pulled back. And all my theories were proven correct when he hissed again and next thing I knew, he was kissing me while his hands gripped my shoulders painfully I nearly cried out of pain.

I didn't know how we were able to stop him. All I know was that I saw Shizuko rushing towards something before rushing to us, Aoi fainting above me and the door slamming open.

"What is going on in here?" Sakura's high-pitched voice echoed within my room sounding like salvation and misery at the same time. I stared at her as she stared critically at me, at Aoi on top of me and at Shizuko next to us.

I stared at Shizuko and I was aware that she has no excuse in mind, either, before I heaved out a heavy exhale and allowed myself to slam down on the carpeted floor with Aoi still unconscious on top of me.

It seemed like people knowing my secret will be increasing tonight.

.

"I'm really sorry, Ayuzawa! I didn't mean to—I—"

"Hush, Aoi, it wasn't your fault." I cut him off while Sakura handed me a cold compress for the cut on my lips. She handed one to Aoi too who accepted it gingerly; an angry shade of red coloring his face as he gently massage the bump on his head, the result of Shizuko knocking him down with one of my hardbound books.

"As much as I hated to interrupt the two of you, I owe some explanations here. Give me a reason why I shouldn't report the three of you to school personnel fr breaking dorm rules." Sakura snapped irritably. "I don't like secrets and if ever I'm going to take part in this, I better get some honest answers."

Shizuko stared blandly at her. "It's none of your business—"

"Shizuko," I cut her off, resigned. Sakura was right. She deserves some answers. Although I didn't expect things to go this way, I was well aware of the repercussions of coming here, as well. And I was well aware that some day, one way or the other, someone will find out my secrets. "She's right. We have to tell her."

"You'll endanger her as well?" she asked sardonically.

"Define endanger." I replied gingerly.

She raised her hand defensively. "Don't get me wrong, Ayuzawa. But I just want to be cautious. We don't know the repercussions of telling other people about you. And Hanazono isn't exactly the most secretive person here in the Academy. You know that."

Sakura bristled. "Hey!"

"Enough." I hushed, annoyed at their constant fighting. "You two can fight all you want but I don't think that this is the time to be doing that. We have bigger problems at hand."

Sakura glowered at me. "Oh, that is your problem alone, Ayuzawa. But I would just like to inform you that I might have the biggest mouth in this Academy but that doesn't mean I'd tell my friends around. I don't go around spilling secrets of some people—especially people I consider friends; most specifically, my roommates." That and she stood on her toes, walked back to her room and slammed the door shut.

I threw Shizuko a sharp look. "That wasn't very nice of you."

"I was just protecting both of you. I don't think she was up to what you're about to unleash on her."

"Well, at least Sakura has some decency in her to not snoop around about people's private lives, right?" when she glowered at me, I exhaled in defeat and dump the cold compress on the table. "I'll leave the two of you with your thoughts here. I'm going to tell Sakura the truth." When Shizuko's eyes showed signs of mistrust, I gave her a soothing smile. "Relax. I trust her. And this will be my burden alone. And you, Aoi," I say, throwing a quick glance at Aoi who looked like she was ready to jumped through the windows. "—stop beating yourself over what happened. None of it was your fault. But at least, it gave you an overview of what I can do—conscious or not."

That and I turned to my heels and towards Sakura's room.

Time to reveal the cat.

.

A/N:

Hello, everyone. You must be pretty surprise, no? Me as well. But I read some of the reviews here and while listening to some music, I decided to write the 11th chapter of this fic. I hope you like it!

-A