How Do You Plead?

Okay, so we are now entering the show's storyline, so spoilers ahead!

Once again, I do not own! Thanks and enjoy! :)

"AHHHHHHH!"

Two gods jumping about the timeline - what could possibly go wrong?

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - OOF!" Loki landed in the sand sprawled out on his back, Sigyn landing on top of him. The two stumbled to their feet, spitting sand from their mouths and brushing it from their hair and armour.

Sigyn looked around. "I think we're still on Midgard."

"Yes, unfortunately."

That was when they realized they weren't alone. A small group of people, perhaps locals of wherever they were, stood there, staring at them. The Asgardians stared back.

"Oh, hello." Sigyn gave them a little wave in greeting.

But Loki had a very different approach in mind: he rushed over to a nearby rock and stood on it so that he towered above the humans. "I am Loki of Asgard-"

Sigyn face-palmed. "Loki-"

"And I am burdened with glorious purpose-"

"Loki, sweetheart-"

"Now kneel before me!"

The woman at the front of the group spoke something in their language. But before they could answer, there was a golden flash and a square portal opened before them, armed soldiers in black armour stepping out. They surrounded the Tesseract, which had fallen from the Asgardians' grasps as they fell.

"Never mind," Loki told the humans, and jumped down from the rock to confront the newcomers. "Don't touch that."

The woman who appeared to be leading the soldiers stepped forward. "Appears to be a standard sequence violation. Branch is growing at a stable rate and slope. Variant Identified."

"I beg your pardon."

"Oh behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for crimes against the Sacred Timeline. Hands up - you're coming with us."

"I'm sorry, who's 'us'?"

The woman raised her weapon. "Last chance, Variant."

Clearly, these weren't people to cross. But Loki only chuckled. "It's been a very long day, and I've had my fill of idiots in armoured suits telling me what to do, so this is actually your last chance. Now get out of my way-"

The woman promptly hit him in the face with her weapon, and suddenly, Loki was moving in slow motion.

Sigyn gave a startled gasp. "What's happening?"

"He's now moving at 1/16th speed, but feeling all that pain in real time." The woman wrapped a collar around Loki's neck and then turned to Sigyn. "You are now safe, Lady Sigyn."

"Safe?"

"Yes, but we would like you to come with us to provide a statement."

"A statement of what - Loki!" The other soldiers were now dragging Loki to his feet and towards the portal. "Where are you taking him?"

"The TVA Headquarters. Now if you'll please come with us..."

She was led through the portal, which led right to a very orange room.

"Right this way, Lady Sigyn."

Loki was heading another way. "Where are you taking him?"

"He must answer for his crimes."

Crimes? "Wait, his crimes on Midgard? He was to face Asgardian justice for those - I'm sorry but I think there must be some mistake-"

"Lady Sigyn, it is all right, we understand that you may be in shock. But you are safe now."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I'm completely fine! Now, where are you taking my friend?"

"This way please." She was led down a long hall and into a sprawling room, which appeared to be a courtroom. Not long after, Loki entered, wearing a grey jumpsuit.

"Loki? What are you wearing? Where's your armour?"

"How come you got to keep your armour?"

"I don't know what's going on-"

"Quiet!" barked the judge seated at the front of the room behind the tallest podium. "Laufeyson. Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. How do you plead?"

Once again, Loki chuckled. "Madam, a god doesn't plead. This has all been a very enjoyable pantomime, but I'd like to go home now."

"Are you guilty or not guilty, sir?"

"Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes. Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes. Guilty of a crime against the Sacred Timeline? Absolutely not, you have the wrong person."

"Oh really? And who should we have then?"

"I suspect, the Avengers. I only came into the possession of the Tesseract because they traveled through time, no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to God King."

"That is quite an accusation."

"Oh, believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks."

A man with very light hair wearing a suit snuck into the courtroom then, taking a seat next to Sigyn. "Excuse me - what did I miss? Anything good?"

Loki was still going on about the Avengers. "You speak of Time Criminals? It's they you should be after. Perhaps you could provide me with a taskforce and resources, and I could return and eliminate them for you."

"We're not here to talk about the Avengers."

"Oh no?"

"No. We're here to talk about you."

"Oh?"

"Yes. What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping and stealing Lady Sigyn from her position was not."

Sigyn raised her hand. "Excuse me, Your Honour. May I clarify something?"

"You may. Please rise."

"Loki didn't 'steal' me from anywhere. We left together."

"That's not the way it was told to us."

"If this is anyone's fault, it was mine, I was apart of the time-travel plot-"

"Again, that was supposed to happen."

Loki was laughing. "Right, 'supposed to happen' - according to whom?"

"The Time-Keepers."

"Oh, the Time-Keepers, right. Well perhaps I should speak to these Time-Keepers gods to gods."

The judge gave him an extremely fake smile. "I'm sorry, but they're quite busy."

"Oh, are they? And what are they doing?"

"Dictating the proper flow of time."

"I see, right, and then what do you do?"

"Dictate the proper flow of time according to their dictations - how do you plead?"

"Guilty - of this." Loki raised his arms - but nothing happened.

"What's going on?" the judge demanded.

"Hang on, everyone quiet-" Loki tried again.

The solider who had arrested him was chuckling. "He's trying to use his powers, Ma'am."

"Don't rush me - damn it, why won't it work?!"

"Magic Powers? They're no good in the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson," the judge informed him.

"Of course not!"

"The court finds you guilty, and I sentence you to be reset." She banged her gavel. "Next case, please!"

"'Reset'? What does that mean? Is it bad? What does it mean-" The guards began dragging Loki away. "You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends!"

"It's not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was."

"You have no idea what I'm capable of!"

"I think I might-" The man beside Sigyn rose. "Have an idea what he's capable of."

"Approach the bench," the judge told him.

He did so, and they exchanged a few whispered words.

"And who are you?" Loki demanded.

The man merely smiled.

"I'm going to burn this place to the ground," Loki growled.

The man chuckled. "I'll show you where my desk is, you can start there."

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :)