A/N: Hey! There will probably be three more chapters of this, but I won't be able to get the next one up until after the 4th of July. I'm going on vacation at the end of the month, and won't be taking any of that time to write. I am trying to update all of my works-in-progress before I leave, though. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. Please let me know, and feel free to tell me what you thought about the season finale in the reviews! I, personally, was very happy with the Stris content, but I'm nervous for Hondo!

It had been a little over a week since Erika's death, and Chris still hadn't been allowed back at work. Dr. Wendy was requiring one more session, and as much as she was trying to help, Chris wanted to strangle the woman. She needed to be back in the field with her team.

Being alone in the apartment she had shared with Erika was not going well for Chris. She finally packed up Erika's stuff, and gave it to Latasha, but reminders of her still filled every room. Tequila helped dull the pain, and Chris had been taking advantage of that.

Today, she was headed into HQ to give her final TLI interview, and was trying to relieve the headache from the night before. She had to win the TLI competition. It wasn't about her anymore, it was about Erika. That was why she had to beat Street.

Chris knew she shouldn't have been drinking the night before her interview, but thinking about the competition made her think about Erika. The memories were so overwhelming, she needed anything to make them stop.

It also made her think of Street and his confession from the other day. She thought about it more than she cared to admit, and his words would flood her mind whenever she least expected it. She was pissed at Street for his ridiculous timing, and the fact that she was constantly being put in the middle of him and Molly… but if she was being totally honest with herself, the thing that bothered her more was the surge of emotions that consumed her when she repeated his confession over and over in her head.

She knew what he would have said if she hadn't made him leave… she knew without a shadow of a doubt, he was about to tell her he loved her. That thought terrified her, because in a perfect world, she would be longing to hear those words… but they didn't live in a perfect world. Street had Molly, and even if not, they still couldn't be together. That went against Chris' rule about not dating cops, but more than that, they were on the same team. There were so many factors at play, and Chris couldn't let it go any further. She couldn't ever admit to Street that she reciprocated his feelings. As much as it hurt, she couldn't have a future with the man she had truly fell for.

Knowing this train of thought was going to distract her from her interview that was in a couple of hours, Chris wiped away the stray tear that rolled down her cheek, and jumped out of her truck at HQ. Honestly, she had been so lost in her head that she didn't remember the drive over.

She made her way through the halls, giving only a slight nod in greeting to the people she passed. She hadn't seen any of her own team yet, but figured they were probably out in the field. She took a deep breath as she entered the locker room. Subconsciously, her eyes landed on Erika's locker, and a small lump caught in her throat. Taking a hesitant step forward, she peeled the label with Erika's name off of the small locker, and stuck it on the inside of her own. It was crazy how a simple label could evoke so much emotion.

The other door to the room opened, clearing Chris from the fog she felt like her mind was in. It was Deacon, and he looked surprised to see her.

"Hey, you back with us?"

"Unfortunately, no. I wish I was, but I have one more session with Dr. Wendy before she'll sign off."

"Well, we can't wait to have you in the field with us. How have you been?

"Tired. Busy studying tactics. My final TLI interview is today." She grabbed her bag from her locker.

Deacon, also rummaging in his, let out a low whistle. "Wow, you're really going all out… you and Street both. I'm sure Hicks would like to have two available spots."

"So much effort over the last few months, been working my ass off, and now it comes down to talking for an interview. I need this to happen, Deac. That means I'll be traveling… away from here. Right now…"

"I know. Everything here still reminds you of Erika."

"She's the one that pushed me to be the best I can be. I have to do this for her. I can't let her down, Deacon."

"You won't. Just go in there, and tell Hicks how you can benefit SWAT from winning TLI. Be yourself, and you'll be fine."

Chris nodded her thanks as a woman she had never seen before entered the locker room.

"Hey. You must be Chris Alonso and Sergeant Kay."

They both nodded, and Chris tried to force a smile. She heard about a new officer, and she wasn't exactly sure how she was feeling about the team having a new member.

"I'm Nora Fowler, the new tactical medic. It's really good to meet you guys."

Deacon spoke from beside of Chris. "Welcome to SWAT. Just pick a locker."

Fowler turned and started for Erika's old locker, but Chris stopped her. "Uh, not that one. Any other open one."

"Of course."

Chris had to get out of there, so she slung her bag over her shoulder and made a quick exit.

SWATSWAT

Well, Chris had officially completed her TLI interview… and she had no idea how it went. She was pretty sure that she screwed it up, but she was to wound up to actually remember what all was said in Hick's office. She just knew that she had tried reading Hick's facial expressions, but that was a near impossible task.

Hoping to wear off some of her stress and tension, she made her way to the firing range. Deacon was in there, so she settled herself into the cubicle beside of him.

"Well, how'd it go?"

Even though Deacon couldn't see her, Chris shook her head.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad, Chris."

"I don't know, Deacon. I think I was too emotional, and talked about Erika too much." She put on her safety glasses, while mentally chastising herself.

"I bet you did fine."

"Yeah, well, fine isn't going to beat Street." She appreciated Deacon's confidence in her, but it was something she lacked right now. With that thought in mind, she raised her gun, and fired. Shot after shot, she hoped to ease her mind… because the interview was already finished. There was no way to go back and change what was said.

Chris didn't know how long she stayed at the range. Deacon had to leave a while ago, apparently the team had an update in their case… a case Chris desperately wished she was helping with. She needed her team, she needed to be out there with them. Maybe then, she wouldn't be so focused on Erika… or even Street.

Shaking her head, as if to clear her thoughts, Chris packed up her equipment, and left the firing range. It was time for her appointment with Dr. Wendy, and she didn't want to be late, as this one would determine if she was back in the field.

SWATSWAT

Chris grabbed a bottled water, and stood in the cool air of the refrigerator for a few seconds, savoring the refreshing feeling it provided. The one saving grace of the day was that Dr. Wendy had officially signed off on her returning to the field. She must've been satisfied with all of her answers, and Chris was just glad she could pass that line of questioning.

"Chris, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Chris shut the fridge and spun around, surprised to see Molly standing there in the kitchen. The woman looked worried, and Chris knew she wasn't going to like this conversation. "Um, okay."

Molly took a seat at the table, and Chris remained standing across from her. "I'm not really sure what's going on with Jim. He's been so distant lately. He says it's because of dealing with Erika and being worried about the team… but I think there's more to it. I know you two are close, so I was wondering if you knew anything about it."

Chris was internally cursing Street. Once again, she was being put in the middle of him and Molly, and she was going to have to lie for him. She hated it because she really didn't want to lie to Molly, but she couldn't really tell her what she knew about Street. She didn't think telling her about the confession last week would exactly go over well. "Look, Molly, he's really just had a lot on his plate. What happened really effected us all, and he's just dealing with it in his own way. Just give him some time to find some normalcy."

Molly didn't look too convinced. "I guess I'm going to have to give him time. We're sort of on a pause right now."

Chris was surprised to hear that news. "I'm sorry, I hope you guys work everything out." The words tasted bitter on her tongue, but at the same time, she knew Molly didn't deserve to be put through all of this.

"Thanks. Well, I better get going. I have a lot of work to do today." She looked like she was about to say something else, but obviously decided against it because she exited the kitchen without another word.

'Great,' she thought to herself. Now poor Molly was mixed up in all of this, and Chris wasn't entirely sure that Molly believed what she said about Street.

SWATSWAT

Chris couldn't deny that she was nervous as she stood in front of the large screens. Quickly scanning the room, she noted that most of her team, even Fowler, was there awaiting the results. Her eyes landed on Street, and he mouthed 'good luck' before she looked away. Hicks had caught up to her just a minute ago, and gave her an encouraging talk about what was said in the interview. At least he supported her thoughts on why she was doing this.

As the screen started flashing, Chris' nerves heightened. She swallowed hard as the seconds stretched on into what felt like an eternity. Finally, the long-awaited results appeared for the whole room to see. Chris had won the competition… and for a moment, she actually allowed herself to feel joy… something she hadn't felt in a while. She just wanted to do right by Erika, and she wasn't going to take this opportunity for granted.

The members of 20-Squad were expressing their congratulations, and for a split second, things truly felt normal. Chris looked around the room once again, and she was happy to be able to share this moment with her family.

After Hicks officially offered her the position, and she gladly accepted, she spoke to Tan and Deacon before making her way over to Street.

"Congrats, Chris. You really deserve this."

"Can we talk?"

"Sure." Street nodded, and led them over to the side, away from the rest of their team.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Chris started in on Street. "Okay, what's going on with you and Molly? Are you two together, or not? Did you know she came to me today for advice about you guys' relationship? She thinks you two are on pause, whatever the hell that means."

"We are on pause. Just hear me out."

"No, Street. I've heard all I want to hear. All I know is that Molly doesn't want this pause, but she doesn't know what else to do. You need to figure this out because she doesn't deserve this."

Street opened his mouth to say something, but Chris wasn't finished yet. "I had to lie to her, and I don't appreciate being put in that position. I'm sick of being in the middle of this."

"Look, Chris, I didn't know she had talked to you. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean for you to have to lie to her."

"It's not just that, Street. This pipe dream about us needs to stop because it's not going to happen. You need to let it go." Chris felt sick, seeing the heartbroken look on Street's face. She almost wanted to take her words back, but she knew they needed to be said. This whole situation was spiraling, and it wasn't just her and Street that were involved.

Before anything else could be said, Tan walked in, interrupting the rather tense moment. "You guys coming with us to celebrate?"

"Ah, I don't think so, Tan." Chris needed to be by herself right now, as today's events were really weighing on her. "I'm just going to go have a quiet night tonight. I'm pretty beat."

"Okay. Congrats, again."

"Thanks." She walked out, somewhat regretting her conversation with Street. She hated it, but they couldn't keep going on like this. Maybe winning TLI would be good in putting some distance between them.

SWATSWAT

Street really was happy for Chris. He knew how hard she worked for the TLI competition, and he was proud just to be able to compete against her.

Today was the first time he had seen her since his confession. It was good to see her, but she looked drained. He knew she was still mourning Erika's death, but also that she was trying so hard to conceal how it was affecting her.

It did make Street feel better to see a real smile on Chris' face when her name was announced as the TLI winner… a smile that didn't last long because right after, she was chastising him about the situation with Molly.

She shut him down, once again… something he really should be getting used to by now. He really hadn't been expecting Molly to go to her about their problems, but apparently she had, and now Chris was pissed at him.

Truthfully, Street knew Chris was right. He needed to get things straightened out, and he needed to do it fast. Things were obviously not going anywhere with Molly, and he had to quit stringing her along. With that in mind, there was only one thing that needed to be done… and it wouldn't be easy. Maybe after this, he could work on the situation with Chris. He wasn't ready to give up on her yet.

A/N: Okay, so I wasn't pleased with this chapter. In my opinion, it was really choppy. I was in a hurry to get it posted before I leave, so I didn't exactly spend the time on it that I should have. I do appreciate you guys that have read it… just know, I might take it down within the next few weeks, and redo it when I go to post chapter three. Thanks!