Octavia POV

It was cold, dark and lonely in the bunker. The sound of scraping against the metal walls still gives me chills, the food still tastes like nothing, the kids can't be kids anymore, the blood is starting to look like the new normal but I can't tell if that's because more people are dying or if this is how it has to be from now on. Whatever it is I'm tired of it, tired of spilling blood, tired of being a leader when I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I'm tired of being alone. I had someone before, before it all went to shit, and the power went over my head. She was my everything, my sun on a cloudy day, my knight in shining armor, the love of my life. Now she's gone, I can't blame her, I wouldn't wanna be with myself right now either. The worst part is seeing her everyday, seeing her ignore me, seeing her drift away from me, seeing her move on. Because I can't move on, I can't just forget. I love her.

I tare up the floor by constantly walking past and forth when I hear two knocks on the metal door.

"Octavia, their waiting for you in the pit!" Indras firm voice echo in the box looking room. I'm too concerned to stop and I ignore Indras directions. "Octavia? Octavia? Bloodreina!" Bloodreina - my new nickname. I hated the name and what I had to do to lead. People don't see the truth behind being a leader, half of the decisions made wasn't even I who made them.

"What?!" I stop in my tracks seeing how Indra flinched at the harsh tone but then kept walking. It wasn't until now that I realized I was crying.

"I'll tell them you'll be there in five minutes" Indra say opening the door.

"I've been talking in my sleep!" I burst out before my mentor got the chance to leave. I smack my hands over my mouth as the older woman turn around.

"What? Octavia, you can tell me" Indra put her right hand on my shoulder and I let go of my tears.

"Lately I've been talking in my sleep, and I think people can hear me, hear my weakness" I use all my effort to stop the tears and the sobbing but it's too late.

"Why do you talk in your sleep? You never did that before" Indra has an concerned expression on her face as she waits for me to steady my breath.

"Because now the only place I can be with her, is in my dreams" At that sentence I lose it, my face gets mushed with water and snort, my eyes is popping and red, my breath unsteady as never before. Indra drag me by the arm into her embrace, letting me be weak for a change. A few minutes passes and I've cooled down when I see how the door opens once more. It was Kane.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but (y/n) is in the pit Did you know that?!" No! She could not be in the pit, I won't allow it!. He was upset, you could see it on his expression.

"What?!" I exclaim, jumping out of Indra's hold. Looking at Kane I see that his face isn't as tensed up as it was before, he's relieved that I hadn't anything to do with it. "Why?!" Kane goes back one step as I've now walked up to him close enough for our noses to touch.

"She stole food, that's all I know" Call me harsh all you want but Kane deserved the slap I gave him before walking out to the arena. If not for this then for turning me into something I'm not, into skairipa... bloodreina.

Your POV

I was sitting on a bench in a separate room from the rest of the contestants. The room was colder and darker then the others and it made me shiver down my spine. I hear shouting and cheers so I figure it was about to go down. I stand up and wait for the door to open, it doesn't. Shortly enough the cheers and screams ended and it seemed like there wasn't going to be a battle.

The metal door burst open with an bloody Octavia, sword in hand. She looks me up and down as so to check that I'm okey.

"What... what are you doing here?" Frankly I'm quite speechless, I haven't been face to face with the girl under the floor for a few months now.

"I'm not gonna let you fight (y/n)! I promised I would never let anyone hurt you!" The guard jogged out from hearing a shot and Octavia and I were alone. "I still... I'm sorry" She continues when I didn't answer.

"Sorry is not gonna cut it O! What you did can never be undone and I'll hurt for the rest of my life for it! And do you wanna know the worst part? I still fucking love you! God Octavia how stupid is that, you're killing for nothing, being someone you're not and I still love you?! That's pathetic!" I couldn't control it, it just had to come out one way or another. My eyes was burning from the tears that still ran over my red, heated face.

"(y/n) I... I don't know what to say, I just want you to be happy"

"It's a little late for that don't you think?"

"I still love you (y/n) I never stoped loving you" We stood like that - close enough to feel each other's breaths - just starring at each other. God I wanted to lean in but I can't let myself go down that path again, at least not until we're out of this bunker, this lifestyle.

"(y/n)?" Octavias voice was soft as she cup my face. I flinch, taking a step back.

"I can't... you can't just do this because you want someone to..." The black haired girl cut me of by pressing her lips against mine. I give into the kiss and the taste of blood soon makes it way through my lips. I jump back realizing what I'm doing.

"(y/n)?"

"Please don't do this O, don't hurt me agin"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah?" I was confused to what she was going to say, was she going to ask me to come back, to be her girlfriend again?

"(y/n)... lately I've been talking in my sleep..."

~~~

"(y/n)... lately I've been talking in my sleep because I can only be with you in my dreams, I know it sounds silly but I don't want to wake up because then I lose you, over and over again" I didn't know what to say nor how to react. She hasn't been this honest in years and I miss that, I miss her. I miss how she used to call me 'Ai soncha' or how she used to braid my (h/c) locks.

"Why are you telling me this?" Is the only response I can think of.

"Because it's true! Every night it's somebody else but I never wanna wake up next to them... because lately I've been talking in my sleep" Her brown eyes were worried, worried that I wouldn't survive, take her back. Her voice is uneven and she's trying to hold in the tears.

"Ai miss yu ba ai can't do disha agin O" (I miss you but I can't do this agin O) Her face breaks into a million pieces as her heart got shattered. I would lie if I didn't say this was hard to watch, probably the hardest thing I had to watch. For a moment I thought she was going to get angry, maybe even kill me but she put herself together called on the guard and left the room with me in it.

Octavia POV

The fight was about to start and I just felt numb. It felt like the world stoped spinning, like the sun stoped glowing, like my heart was no longer working. Don't get me wrong, I don't want (y/n) to die but I'd rather not se her all the time either. I gave my nod and the contestants was brought out to the light. Seeing her (h/n) locks, her (e/c) eyes, her once smiling lips... it was too much. I step forward leaning against the fence around the pit. (y/n)'s looking at me, trying to smile but failing miserably. A tear escape and I feel the taste of water and salt. I press my hand against the fence as a symbol that I want to touch her, and lightly (y/n) lifts her hand up a little doing the same. I couldn't save her, that would ruin my leadership, and then what will happen with one kru. I see her mouthing the words 'it's okey' even though she's about to die she didn't want to lay that guilt on me. All I could to was look in to those (e/c) eyes and mouth the words 'Ai hod yu in'.