Akari

Akari sat up in an unfamiliar place. The intense pain had dulled back to the usual level. The Chakra eating away at her never subsided but she found she could block some of the pain out with Chakra. She held her head waiting for the pain to subside enough that she could see.

She prised her eyes open and found the blur of her vision looking down onto white sheets. Her chain-mail was gone but she still wore her shorts and bandages. She began to wonder how the shorts had managed to remain and the chain-mail disappear but found her thoughts interrupted.

"Akari-san," the voice of Kakashi's student sounded sweetly and Akari managed to look up to the source. The pink hair of the Uchiha was the first thing she saw but her vision still was a blur. Aki gulped hard trying to speak through the pain. "I thought I told you to come back if you were in pain. I realise now that your body can't contain the level of Chakra within you. Are you aware of this?" She faintly watched as the pinkette stretched her hands to Akari's head as she squinted up to her and nodded. The relief of green chakra flooded her head and she could finally see clearer again. Akari blinked a few times and watched the medic's face morph into a sweet smile with her eyes closing.

"You're Kakashi's student." She found the words tumbling out of her mouth.

"The Hokage was my Sensei, yes."

"He cares for you," she spoke plainly and her heart constricted at the thought but only a good feeling held it. She was glad he had people. She watched as the medic's eyes widened and then relaxed.

"He's family after all." She smiled again sweetly.

"Where is he?" she continued peering up to the Uchiha as the medic lowered her hands from her head.

"He is on urgent business." Akari narrowed her eyes at the medics words. Something was hidden behind them and the medic looked to her as if she were trying to work out a great puzzle. Akari looked away and around the room she was in. The plain walls and minimal furniture gave nothing away.

"You're in the Hokage's house. He brought you here after you collapsed. He insisted you were treated here. Apparently you're not a fan of hospitals."

Akari only nodded as a strange warmth flooded her. She wanted to not feel it but she was drowning in it. She felt the urge to cover herself in his sheets but hated that she wanted that. She'd promised herself not to feel it.

The Uchiha began packing up her things and started speaking.

"Unless we find a seal that is appropriate for the situation I'm afraid there's not much I can do other than temporarily relieve you of pain." She looked up to her then, "I sense you're hiding something from us, but we can't help you if you don't want to help yourself."

"There's nothing that can be done." Akari spoke plainly and watched a sadness swirl in the medics eyes.

"Look, it is my duty as a medic-nin to help you as much as I can, but this is more than that. Sensei seems to care for you. I'm not sure how the two of you are connected but I know that you're hurting him and I can't forgive it."

"I'm glad he has you," Akari spoke softly, she had no other words for it. She couldn't help her. The stern look on the medics face melted away with the frustrated sigh that escaped her. She picked up her bag as if she were about to leave. "How long was I out?" Akari found herself asking.

"2 days, Sensei will return soon. Rest until then." She began leaving but turned as she crossed the threshold of the bedroom. "Oh, you had a visitor yesterday. He said he was an old friend. Taiyo-san I believe?" Akari's chest tightened at the thought. The pink haired kunochi nodded and left. She heard the front door shut gently and it brought her back to reality. She had contemplated seeing him but found she couldn't bring herself to. What would he think of her return? She didn't want to put him through that just for her to leave again. Seeing Kakashi was already hard enough. She wasn't sure she could take anymore. She'd tried so hard to keep her distance from him. The things she'd gone through to make it back to him. Only to see him and to help Konoha was her dying wish. She'd hoped he had moved on entirely. She wanted that more than anything.

When she returned she'd sensed it all. His anger, frustration and fear seeing her in the interrogation cell. It had hurt her to cause him such distress. She didn't know what she had expected of him, but it wasn't that. But his anger was better than the way he looked at her in the forest. Her heart had craved the look he gave her. She hated how much she wanted it. Every time she saw him it chipped away at the wall she'd built inside of her. She was almost relieved when he told her to stay away. She knew she didn't have the strength. The fading of the potency of the Otsutsuki in her affected her more than she thought possible.

Akari shook her head trying to rid herself of the thoughts she promised not to have. That wasn't why she was here. Her legs draped from the tall bed, unable to touch the floor. She scanned the room properly only to find a small plant and two pictures. One of Kakashi and his team when he was a kid and another one. She found herself walking over to it and picking it up. Her heart clenched at the sight of Kakashi. He looked nearly the same as when she had left. Her fingertips glided over the glass of the photo frame as memories flashed behind her eyes. The memory of his smile she tried to cling onto so dearly was as clear as day as she looked down to it. She hated how her hand began to shake as she held it.

She placed it back down in its original spot and looked down at her body. The room felt cold and she wasn't sure she'd make it back to her accommodation.

She pulled open a draw to find something more to wear but found it almost empty other than a pile of folded paper. She had half closed it when she read her name on the top letter. She felt herself freeze and her eyes widen at the sight of it. She knew she should leave it but her hand shakily reached out for it before she could stop herself.

The paper seemed to burn in her grasp as she brought it out of the draw. She shouldn't but realised she wasn't in control of herself in that moment.

It wasn't sealed it was simply a folded paper on top of a pile of others with her name on. She felt sick and wrong but found her hand unfolding it slowly. It shook as she began reading it. Her head and her heart at odds with one another.

Number 3:

Akari,

It's been a year now and I haven't quite figured out how to think about you without it hurting.

I seem to yearn for you whether my eyes are open or whether I sleep and I find my thoughts spilling onto these pages I write for you.

I still wait for you. I realise now that I always will be waiting. Maybe once my body is encased by the earth, maybe then we can meet again. Maybe that's what I am waiting for. I realise now that it seems our souls became intertwined the moment I saw you.

I didn't know you could drown in grief but I am caught in tsunamis of it. I find myself choking on the memories of you late at night and air never seems to make it far enough.

I foolishly hoped the feelings I carried for you would fade in time but it seems my hope was misplaced. Nothing seems to relieve me of the pain that I carry with me. I know now I'll love you forever.

I hope to dream of you always. Please, meet me there.

Yours,

-K.

Akari stood for- she didn't know how long. She was frozen as she reread the words written on the page like they were oxygen and she was starved of breath. Her whole being seemed to tremble as the feelings she'd attempted to repress ran rampant through her. They released like flood gates and she was consumed wholly. For the first time in years she felt the salty liquid leak from her eyes and run down her face. For too long she'd repressed everything she felt. She'd focused on the protection of Konoha knowing that one day she'd see him again. She thought foolishly that she'd be satisfied seeing him one last time. Knowing he was content and happy. The first sight of him had almost unravelled everything she'd tried to run from but reading this had truly ruined her. The hot tears ran over her cheeks silently and patted onto the floor boards as she continued to reread his scruffy hand writing. Her chest ached as if something vital had once been ripped from her and now just a void remained.

"Akari?" Kakashi's voice caused her to flinch and the paper crumpled slightly as she jumped at his sudden appearance. Her head had snapped to the doorway of the bedroom. Her wide eyes over flowing with the silent tears locked onto his. Her mouth was parted as she watched his eyes move from her face to the letter and widen in realisation. She shook more and the water fell harder as she felt everything. She felt it all. Everything she spent trying to forget. Seeing him standing there, it all hit her. The pain of the overflowing chakra, the overwhelming emotion that seemed to rip through her, it was too much and the world seemed to sway before her. Her knees gave out and kissed the floor but she didn't feel it. Her forehead connected to the floorboards and she didn't hear the screams that released from her throat.

Kakashi was knelt next to her pulling her into his embraced but she could barely register any of it. Time passed in a convoluted blur and distortion. Kakashi was speaking to her but the sound of her wailing drowned everything out. She didn't realise she was clutching the paper to her chest.

Time passed and she found her face smothered in the warm chest of Kakashi. She felt faded by the scent of him. Her head swam craving more of it. Her erratic breathing flooded her lungs sporadically as she uncontrollably gasped for breath. Her eyes were sore and she felt empty. Kakashi's armed were warm and wrapped around her as he was keeled over on the hard floor next to her. He didn't move a muscle nor did he speak for what could've been hours.

She found a little strength in her arms and released her own chest and looked down to the letter she had all but crumpled.

"Sorry," her voice was so small and barely escaped her lips. She couldn't look up to him. She was apologising for everything. He released her but didn't move away. She found she could sit up but continued to stare at the crumpled paper between her trembling hands.

"It…" he hesitated as if he was unable to find words, "it was written for you." Something grave was held in his voice. It sounded low and shaken. The silence felt like it was causing more pain than the chakra overwhelming her body.

He stood up and walked over to the window leaving her there on her knees. She managed to look at him knowing his back was to her. He sighed heavily and looked to the sky painted with the colours of sunset streaming through the window of the Hokage's office. She loved the sunset but found the sight before her was something she always wanted to remember. The way the orange light bathed him in gold made her want to carve it into her memory and protect it from the decay of age. She knew he would be different from the man she left so long ago but this felt too far from her grasp. He was so far from her, so distant. She found the weight in her stomach pulling numbly.

She tried to get to her feet but found she couldn't. She was drained and empty. She sat on her knees staring at the wood of the floor boards. Kakashi's feet sounded almost silently as he approached her from the window side. He crouched by her and extended a hand to her. She found herself staring at it for so long. The lines of his palm, the shape of his fingers. She wanted nothing more than to know what they felt like. She wanted the heat of it on her cheek, the feeling of it holding the back of her head, his fingers intertwined in her hair. She wanted it laced in her hand. Her jaw began quivering as silent tears rolled down her face again. She couldn't look up to him. Instead she found it in her to stand shakily on her own two feet. Escaping the hand she wanted so badly to reach for.

"Please, just leave me." Again, her small voice tumbled from her lips. She couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. His presence felt like it was tearing her apart where she was. She turned to face the window herself hoping to hear his footfalls disappear into the next room but they didn't.

She slowly managed to turn towards him realising he wasn't leaving. Her sore eyes looked to him heavy with exhaustion. His face was almost expressionless if she didn't know how much pain rested in his eyes. He looked to her as if he was haunted. Pain shot through her again from the overwhelming chakra and she winced a little. She saw him flinch towards her but he caught himself and remained where he stood. The weight of the atmosphere around them was heavy enough to collapse under.

She pulled her eyes from his face and took in his form. He wore dark shinobi trousers and a matching long sleeve top. She hadn't seen him without the Hokage robes or body protector. She wanted so badly to see his face. What little was showing hadn't changed at all but somehow he looked older. His shoulders were wider and his chest seems fuller. He stood taller and she found herself missing her youth.

"I don't think I can." She looked back to his eyes as he spoke and she could see the battle he was facing yet he remained frozen to the spot he stood. She felt her face morph from exhausted into pain. She gritted her teeth but didn't look away from him.

"I hurt, I hurt all over," she admitted finally but hated how the haunted look in his features only worsened.

"Tell me what I can do," she hated that she was causing the pain lacing his words.

"You can stay away from me," she didn't want it. More than anything she didn't want it. She wanted him. But she knew she couldn't leave him again if he didn't leave. She had come to terms with what was happening to her but now she began to resent it. All of it.

"I can't give you that," his blunt words caused her to jerk back. She looked back to him and saw a strength in him. It made her heart feel full but she couldn't.

"You don't have a choice," she spoke before she could think but he stepped towards her. She tried to step back but her back only met the wall.

"Akari, I can't," the way his voice crawled from his lips shook through her. She didn't know if she had any strength left. He stepped again towards her. She needed to hear her name from his lips.

"Kashi," her voice wobbled in her throat. "Please," she begged and she wasn't sure what for anymore. He stepped towards her leaving only a little space between them now. She leaned into the window behind her and looked up to his form towering over her. His brows were pulled down and his eyes only hung with hurt.

"I don't think I can let you go again," he whispered across to her. "You don't know how it nearly destroyed me last time." Her jaw quivered more and her teeth began to chatter from it. She gripped onto the windows ledge behind her. "I wont ask anything of you other than this, just let me be by your side."

"I'm dying Kakashi," she tried to be blunt but a small sob sounded between the words. His brows dipped harder for a moment.

"I'll find a way." His voice leaked determination.

"There isn't one." She shook her head looking directly at him. His eyes seemed to plead with her.

"I'll find a way." He repeated softer. "I'm not letting you die. Not again." His eyes seemed to glaze over with unshed tears and the look of it made her sob softly and singularly. She looked down to her feet but the warmth of his finger lifted her chin up to him. Her eyes found his and she found she couldn't look away this time until his hand glided from her chin up to her cheek. She couldn't resist closing her eyes at the sensation. The warmth of it radiated through her. His thumb gentle wiped away some of the wetness of it. She hated how safe she felt around him. The comfort he gave her by small gestures swelled in her chest.

"This will just make it more difficult in the end," she whispered into the palm of his hand keeping her eyes closed.

"Then you don't know how hard life has been without you, Akari." Her heavy eyes opened at his words. She looked up to his towering form. "I forgot how lost I was without you," she seemed to notice, when he was with her, the absence of the Earth was no wicked thing. In that moment it was just the two of them together. How it felt like it should've always been. She gave into it. The hollowness in her chest seemed to remember where she belonged. The hole in the shape of him seemed to fill as she brought her lips to his. She rose to him on her tip toes as he leant down to her, guiding her face with the hand resting on her cheek still.

The moment their lips met changed everything. She wouldn't be able to go back now. She couldn't help it. They kissed softly and slowly as the contact sent ripples of what can only be described as electricity though her. It felt as if it was restarting her heart after the long absence of him. She could feel his jaw quivering at the contact and she didn't know how to describe the feeling of life in her chest. The loneliness she didn't realise she was drowning in was lifted with the breath he gave back to her.

He held her so gently as if she might break with any force. Her body seemed to awaken after its long slumber and for a moment she couldn't feel the pain that ravaged her body. She had promised not to let him close to her if she came back but she'd forgotten what life was, and Kakashi. Her memory hadn't done him justice. It paled in comparison. It was incomparable.

He parted and rested his forehead on hers and she watched through heavy eyes that his remained closed. Their breaths were heavy and whole. She wasn't sure if she felt complete or she was going to fall into pieces. Her legs shook under her, whether it as from pain, exhaustion, or the circumstance she wasn't sure.

He caught her by her elbows as she almost collapsed his eyes opening. His eyes seemed to convey all the things she couldn't say. He looked away as he helped her to the bed.

He pulled the covers over her as she sank into the comfort. She couldn't fight the heaviness that pulled at her eyes.

She didn't realise the way Kakashi looked to her as she fell asleep instantly. He watched her as if he was afraid that she'd disappear if he blinked. She slept dreamlessly and better than she had done in 15 years.