2
More Mistakes
There was ash floating in front of his face but that was normal in the apocalypse. Sometimes Five liked to pretend that it was snow and he was simply lost in a blizzard. Trading a more traditional danger for something that was unknown. He couldn't remember how long he had been here now, a month? Three months? The days blended into one like someone flicking through several pages of a book.
Each day was the same, get up and scavenge for food and water. He had managed to find bugs, cockroaches no less and it still made him wretch when he ate them. He forced them down because he needed to survive. He needed to stop whatever had caused this. After the food, came the water he kept in his flask. It tasted like a sewer which was a bold statement to make but that was what it tasted like. The rest of the day was spent writing down equations in Vayna's book. Hoping, thinking about when he got home. If he ever got home. Those thoughts had been lingering in his mind. What about if this was it, that he was stuck in this hellhole forever?
He was determined to not let that to be the cause. Even if it took him years and years to get home, he knew this wasn't going to be forever. It couldn't or Five actually thought he would lose his mind.
He turned back to looking at the ash, it floated onto his face and he wiped it away. He could feel his chest getting heavier. Why was it always so hard to breathe? He could feel it entering his lungs and he let out a long cough sputtering phlegm everywhere. He cringed as he saw the contents on the floor. This ash was going to kill him.
Five stood up and dusted his pants. He had found them when he had raided Gimble Brothers, along with Delores. She had been so alone, so afraid when she had called out to him so he had answered her prayer. At least he wasn't alone in this barren world. He looked across to see her propped up in her wagon, her smile was the only thing that cheered him as he looked at her.
Are you okay? She asked.
"No, I need to find food, and I don't know where to go." He muttered as he looked at his makeshift camp.
It wasn't much but it did pretty nicely. He had camped out in an library, the walls mostly intact. It was a circular library, the walls standing about a quarter of metre away from each other. Five assumed that the floor he was on used to be the top as there were now piles of rubble, brick and plaster shoved into the middle. He had started to use several of the books as makeshift chairs. They weren't the most practical or comfiest things but they helped when he just wanted to rest his head for a couple of minutes.
Five, remember food. Delores said. He was sure that she was even scoffing at him.
"I know, I know." He moaned.
His stomach growled, a horrible pain that had him clutching his abdomen. He was starving, ravenous even. When was the last time he had ate? Maybe a couple of days ago? His memory was hazy but he was pretty sure it had been some bugs he had shoved into his mouth out of desperation. He had been surviving on alcohol which he shouldn't have been doing at his young age. That was what Klaus did. Klaus, the others…No. He would not think about that. He couldn't or else he actually might collapse.
He started to make his way out into the deserted city. The skyscrapers now nothing more than rubble resting at the same level as all the cars dotted about. Sometimes Five wondered if there was another person out there, if they had survived this monstrosity. Were they surviving just like him, hoping, begging that one day they would come across a living breathing soul? The more time passed, the more Five's fairytale felt like a fairytale. There was just him and Delores, surviving.
Five wrapped his scarf around his neck. It still got very cold in the morning but it would warm up later, as the season of spring had taken hold. Although it wasn't really spring anymore. He had seen no trees growing, no flowers. The world had changed, there was nothing except insects.
He spent most of the day scouring the city and the empty buildings for any sort of sustenance. He couldn't use his powers as he was relying on whatever energy his sleep had given him. He scraped through soil, rocks and found nothing.
The sun in the sky was beginning to set as he decided to check his last building. It looked like it had once been a part of a small supermarket chain but a car had driven into the window, smashing the glass everywhere. Five side-stepped past the car and inside. Shelves had been knocked over like a row of domino's but what he saw on the ground made his heart soar. Cans, at least five of them scattered by one of the shelves. Without thinking he ran over to them and scooped them up. They were dusty covered in cobwebs. He rubbed the dust of one of them to see what it was.
Beans. Actual food. Five didn't wait, he opened the can with a loud clunk and shoved the beans into his mouth. They were slimy and didn't taste quite right as they slid down his throat but he didn't care. It was the first proper food he had eaten in so long. He inspected the other cans to see that they were a can of tuna and carrots. He would save them for later.
Five made sure to take note of where the store was as he climbed out but the world stopped dead as he looked in front of him. Six makeshift gravestones laid out in a circle. His sibling's graves. He hadn't even realised he had wondered this far towards them. On shaky legs, Five made his way over.
It had taken him a whole week to move his sibling's bodies. First had been Klaus. He didn't want to stare at his tattoo any longer. The one that had told him that these people were his siblings, the one who had suffered deaths and the only bodies that he had found. It was cruel. So cruel that the world always seemed to be against him. He had fought it, fought his Father. To prove himself and the world kept turning its back on him.
Allison and Diego had been easier, he had placed them together wishing that their chests would rise and fall. For them to wake up and take him away from his nightmare. Luther had been the hardest to move. It had taken Five almost two days and an almost broken arm to put him to rest. More than once he had glimpsed Luther's body underneath his clothes. A gorilla like chest. He never found out the answer to that even in Vayna's book, there was nothing mentioned about it. Luther must have never told anyone.
Before he had read Vanya's book, he had wondered about Ben, but discovering that he had died when he was sixteen was like ice pricking into his heart. It had hurt, all his siblings had died but the one that might have understood him the most except from Vanya, had his life taken away from him far too young.
Vanya was the only body he had never found. Part of him thought that she probably wasn't there. She had no powers so she had probably died in the aftermath. It was still a pointless death. All the people that had died, they should have lived but they had perished on the 1st April 2019.
Five sat down near them. He should have come here sooner. He had left them on their own.
"I'm sorry, I didn't forget you." He whispered to the ground. He didn't want to come because when he thought about his siblings, all he could see were their faces. Their unblinking faces. In fact he could see them now, in the back of his mind. He clutched his head trying not to scream. Five sank to the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest. His eyes were wet with tears and he quickly wiped them away. He didn't want his siblings to know he was weak. He was going to be strong for them, and he promised that he would find his way back to them.
As he looked to the sky, the sun had almost disappeared behind the shell of the city and twilight was setting, Five thought about home. He thought about mealtimes with his siblings and even the half an hour of free time they had together. He missed them. He missed them with a twisted ache in his heart. He wanted to close his eyes, for five minutes. It wouldn't hurt. He knew he should be trying to get home back to Delores but he wanted to rest. His eyes were getting heavier and heavier.
Five let his eyes close. It wouldn't be for long. It couldn't be for long.
It wasn't even minutes until his sibling's dead faces entered his mind. Five clutched his head. No! No! All he had wanted was five minutes of peace. Why couldn't the memories leave him alone? Was this his divine punishment, his punishment for not listening to his Father? He always thought his Father had been wrong. The way Reginald Hargreeves had looked at the world as if it was his job to claim it. Meanwhile Five thought it was his path in life to excel at everything to prove the world wrong but that was so far from the truth.
He forced his eyes open and almost fell. His surroundings had changed. Gone was the burnt city and surrounding graves. Now it was his old house complete with the vile decorations that his Father loved. He looked down at his hands, a notebook he didn't recognize was clutched into his hand. This was a weird dream. He was dreaming of home. He looked up and saw a woman standing looking at him in horror. A woman wearing the dead Allison's face. Why had his dreams turned cruel as well? Was this a nightmare? A nightmare that his mind had decided to conjure to punish him?
This was a punishment. He should have visited his sibling's grave sooner. He should have been there. He vowed that he would never leave them alone again. He let out a scream. A scream that hurt his whole vocal cords but he needed to, to let this hallucination know.
"I'm sorry." He bubbled not really looking at the woman.
He cradled into himself, scratching at his face, at his hair, he wanted to hide. He did see out of the corner of his eye a blue sleeve, blue like the blazer of his old uniform. This was such a cruel nightmare.
Five wanted to wake up. He closed his eyes as tightly as he could, even pinched himself and opened his eyes again. It was still the same damn lounge. Why was he still in the lounge? He could feel another scream building in his throat.
"Five?" A woman's voice asked. He didn't recognize it and looked to see the hallucination of Allison. He thought it was slightly strange that she looked a little different. Her hair was straight and she had a set of bangs resting on her forehead. He was sure she hadn't died like that but then again he was going half crazy.
"You're dead, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He begged. He didn't want her to come any closer.
Instead she took quite a few more steps until she was near him. Her hand reached and touched his shoulder.
Five froze.
Her touch felt real, he could feel the weight of hand as it clutched his shoulder. He hadn't felt human touch in so many months but now that he had it. It felt familiar, foreign, strange and liberating.
Something then clicked in his mind. This wasn't a nightmare. This was real. Somehow he had made it home. He decided to leave that for later. Taking one look at Allison, because this was Allison. It was his sister. Older sister now but he was home.
"Five, are you okay?" Allison asked once again.
Five didn't answer. He looked at his older sister, launched himself forward and wrapped his arms around her.
Allison froze as Five hugged her. Out of all the things that she had been expecting to happen, this wasn't the right one. She had expected Five to scream more. To blink away, to run but a hug? She wrapped her hands around his back and noted how small he was. She could pick him up easily again, although it had been a bit tough carrying him when she had to do that with Diego. Her rumour. She wasn't sure what it had done. Was he really just thirteen now? She shouldn't have done it. She shouldn't have done it.
She pulled away quickly and Five looked at her with such confusion and dare she say hurt? She had never seen him look so vulnerable before. It was at that point she knew. This Five was thirteen. He was thirteen…
"Allison, you're real aren't you?" Five asked and he clutched onto her sleeve. His grip was so tight, vice like. He still had strength she guessed. This was no real way of getting rid of muscle memory.
"Yes," Allison said hesitantly. She wasn't sure how to engage this Five in conversation. How would she explain herself? He would hate her for what he did, for changing who he was. She knew she needed to tell the others but she had no idea where the others could even be.
"How did I get here? I-I was by your graves… Did I use my powers?" Five asked, looking at her with wild eyes. They were so scared. So scared of something. The apocalypse maybe?
"No…Five listen to me. I need to explain-," Allison tried.
Five wasn't listening. He was staring at his hands again.
"I don't remember getting these scars." He said.
He held out his hands to her and she saw two faint lines across the palms of his hands. She wouldn't know where the scars came from either.
"Maybe they're new? Are they from how I got here? Why can't I remember?" Five mumbled clutching his head.
She wanted to tell him, but he was already so confused. Would he even believe her? Would he ever trust her again? Allison wanted to fall to the floor. This was a mistake she couldn't take back, it was bigger than her. She needed someone's help. Anyone's.
"Yo!" Klaus called as he walked into the lounge. "I swear I heard Five screaming." He mumbled.
Allison watched as Five whipped his head up to look at Klaus. His face seemed to scrunch up into an attack of tears once again. She watched as Five stood up and walked over to Klaus. His hand reached out and touched Klaus's chest, right where his heart was.
"You're alive as well." Five whispered.
He looked at Klaus in awe.
"You're real? You're alive, Klaus."
Klaus looked puzzled and laughed.
"Pretty sure I haven't died any time soon, old man. Are you okay, Five? Did you hit your head?" Klaus asked, looking at his smaller brother.
Five frowned."Old man? I'm not old, I'm thirteen."
Klaus blinked. "That's the first time you've said that. Finally accepted that your body's thirteen?"
Five backed away, taking a few steps away from Klaus. "What? What do you mean Klaus? I've only just got here, I've been trying to get back to all of you for months…"
Klaus scrunched his face up. "Five, are you feeling okay? You've been back for weeks."
Allison watched as their younger brother's chest began to rise and fall. His breathing becoming quicker, his eyes darting from her and then to Klaus.
"What's going on?" Five whispered. His breathing had started to become heavier. Allison watched as he kept taking steps back until he sat down on the sofa. His hands were shaking and there was sweat appearing on his brow. He was looking at his hands, his breaths heavier and heavier.
Allison had only seen a few panic attacks in her time as an actress. Some of the colleagues she had worked with had them before they went on set, acting helped them mask it as they became someone else. However she would have never put Five to having one. The Five she knew was level headed, smart and would never let anything like this happen to him. Then she forced herself to remember. This wasn't the Five she knew. This was actual thirteen year old Five, she needed to remember that. She needed to comfort him.
"Allison? Klaus? Why aren't you saying anything?" Five asked, his voice was breaking. Hands were shaking. He was scared. Scared of his own siblings.
She knew she had made more and more mistakes, maybe this was another one but she knew that it could at least help him. Help him to be okay.
"I heard a rumour you fell asleep." Allison said and the words took effect.
Allison ran up to him and clutched him as his eyes drooped and he fell onto her chest. His breathing became softer and his dark eyelashes twitched as he slumbered. Allison lifted him into her lap, she knew that when he woke up, she would have to explain everything. She looked over to Klaus who was frowning, running a hand through his hair as he asked.
"Allison, what the hell is going on?"