8
Myself and I
Five was falling, the blackness surrounding him, engulfing his small frame as the blackness dragged him deep down. There were images in the blackness, fragments of colour that resembled picasso paintings. He tried to reach out and touch them. They rippled at his touch, colours flipping through his fingers. Sound came from them, voices, screams and the rare laughter of children.
He tried to reach in, to see where that sound was coming, perhaps it was some future memory. He could feel pictures coming to his mind and then he felt a pull like someone was dragging him by his legs, it was heavy. Five began to fall again.
He landed on something hard and the darkness disappeared into a cloud, floating away lightly. Five looked up and began to panic when he saw the telltale rubble of the apocalypse, except there was something different about the library he had called home. The structure was relatively the same but the stone looked older cracking in various places where weeds had decided to grow. There were more books littered in the ground where wine and beer bottles rested, looking like desolate flowers in the wasteland.
Five picked himself up and saw Delores sat in the corner. She looked happy with a brown sweater that brought out her pale complexion.
As he gazed at everything, he heard some rubble fall and a pair of footsteps from behind him. Five turned around to see an old man gazing at him.
"Who are you?" Five asked but he knew the answer as soon as the question left his lips.
"I'm you." The old man answered, his voice cracked and weathered by time.
Five took a step back as he fully took in the old man. He was relatively small, only a couple of inches taller than Five. He wore a plain black suit complete with a wide brimmed hat resting on his head. Five saw a hint of grey hair, and the man's face had a manicured mustache. He would have never thought that this small old man could be him. He was sure that he would have been taller. However Five had decided that must have been due to malnourishment not genetics.
His older self came forward, he noticed the man was flickering, like when his powers fizzled out except it happened every time his older self took a step.
"Where am I? The apocalypse?"
Five knew that was wrong.
"Your subconscious, more or less." HIs older self answered and sat on one of the stones, his hands folded in his lap.
"Allison's rumour, didn't it work? Aren't you supposed to be in control?" Five's questions were mounting and his older self scoffed.
"Well, I would like to be but the problem is that you are in the way." Five watched as his older self studied him like the younger Five was something to kill. Five hated it.
"What do you mean?" Five said, his voice broke and he cringed.
"You shouldn't exist." His older self said, his voice cold and calculating.
Was this who he had become? This old man, who was a killer?
"I'm you. That doesn't make any sense." Five protested.
His older self scoffed again and rolled his eyes.
"Think."
"Allison's rumour?" Five asked, his eyes widening as he thought about it.
"You aren't supposed to exist." His older self began to move towards him, his eyes void of any emotion.
"It's my body. You're the older version of me." Five said, his voice coming out quiet and echoing.
"Technically it's mine as I accidentally de-aged myself when time travelling to 2019. A mistake I shouldn't have made."
His older self took another step and Five felt so small despite the small height difference between them.
"You died in the apocalypse, you are an enigma brought to life by Allison's rumour. Allison's powers have always been unique; the fact that she created two of me in one body. I would find this fascinating if it didn't involve me."
Five hated how his older self sounded like his Father. He knew he should have listened to Reginald Hargreeves before time travelling but Five Hargreeves had always been stubborn, it didn't look like that had changed with his older self.
"Then why am I here?" Five repeated. "Didn't Allison's rumour work?"
"Yes and no. The first time it did and I disappeared. It wasn't until you had those stupid breakdowns and my old partner showed up before I reappeared, only to find out that my younger self was in control. I want my body back." His older self was glaring at him now, his eyes narrowed.
Five ignored his demand.
"So Allison's new rumour didn't work?" The younger Five asked, his adam's apple bobbing. He felt threatened.
"She gave me the means to come back, although faintly. However the two of us can't exist in the same body, it's not possible. I am fading, I need my body back. You need to leave." His older self's voice dropped lower, almost into a scowl.
Five shook his head. The more he talked to his older self, the more scared of knowing that this was what he had become as an adult. He didn't want to become him. It was like a lightbulb went off his head as he realised, he didn't have to become him. He had a chance to do everything over again.
"No." Five said, his whole body shaking.
"No?" His older self laughed. "You don't get a choice in this, it's my body."
"I said no. I'm not becoming you." Five protested, hating how he sounded like a child arguing with his Father.
His older self scowled and walked over to him. He grabbed Five shoulder's and hoisted him off the ground.
"Let me go!" Five screamed flailing around in his iron like grip, his legs hitting the older man's chest. His older self didn't let him go, his grip only getting tighter.
Five found himself looking into his older self eyes, the crow's feet dancing as his older self glared at him.
"Now listen to me. You died in the apocalypse. I didn't suffer forty five years in the apocalypse to come back home to my family and then be cast away into the ether. I have fought so hard and you're not taking that away from me."
Looking into his older self's eyes, Five almost felt sorry for the old man. He looked tired and worn. However he knew that this man had killed and killed. He couldn't forget that.
"You killed people, why not let me live? I'm a second chance." Five said, hoping that he might convince his older self.
"I killed people to survive, you know nothing of that. Now enough, leave or else I will make you." His older self's tone stayed the same, but there was a hidden warning.
Five shook his head again.
"No, I'm staying and you can't make me leave!" He shouted.
"Then you leave me no choice." The old man growled.
Five didn't know what to expect to happen next but his older self dropped him and he was falling, falling until he opened his eyes to see Allison shouting at him.
His whole body was being shaken by her. He blinked at and saw how she gasped.
"Five, are you okay?" She asked panicking, checking him over like a doting Mother. "Your eyes were white-I didn't know what to do- I thought,"
"I'm fine, Allison." He said with a strained smile.
She pulled a face before forcing a smile.
"So are you fifty eight again?" Five noticed how her hand was hovering over his shoulder.
"No, I'm thirteen still." Five admitted.
Her hand patted his shoulder and she pulled away, a frown creasing her features.
"The rumour didn't work then? Do you want to stay thirteen?" She looked like she was about to panic.
Five shook his head, his hair ruffling.
"No, it's complicated. My older self is in here," He pointed to his brain. "Your rumour created me, or that's what he said. I didn't really understand myself."
Allison frowned again.
"It created your thirteen year old self subconscious? I'm guessing it pulled you from a time in the apocalypse?" Allison looked like she understood more than he did, which was saying a lot because Five often credited himself as being the genius in the family, even now at only thirteen.
"I think so," Five thought about it for a second. It was best not to tell Allison about what had really happened. That was his problem to deal with and nobody else's. He wasn't sure what could happen with his older self somewhere in his mind but that would be something he would have to cope with.
"So what happened exactly?" Allison asked looking at him.
"We talked, and he said he wanted to move on. He's letting me have a second chance." Five forced a smile onto his face. At the back of his mind, he swore he heard his older self growl and a flash of something appeared before his eyes. There was a woman wearing a black dress, smiling at him. He shook the image away but he couldn't help but wonder, who on earth had that woman been?
"You're staying thirteen then?" Allison's voice was hesitant. "Is this what you want?"
Five nodded.
"It is. I don't remember killing people, I don't have forty years of being stuck in the apocalypse so I can start over, the best I can." Five replied, feeling hopeful.
Another flash of the woman appeared above his eyes. He was sure he knew her, he had seen her before. Five shook his head. No, he didn't want to find out her name. He didn't want his past, he wanted a future.
"Well then we have to sort so much out, if you're staying thirteen. First might be actually getting you some clothes." Allison glanced at his uniform hanging from his wardrobe door.
Five frowned, he had never really been big on his clothes. Their uniforms had always been practical and efficient, he didn't understand why he would need anything else.
"Why can't I keep wearing it? It's fine." He protested.
Allison laughed. "Five, Dad's dead. You don't need to wear that old thing anymore. How about tomorrow we go shopping?"
Five hated the idea of it. He could imagine her dragging him all over the place, throwing clothes at him. He could even imagine Klaus amongst the chaos trying to dress him in things he would hate. He wasn't sure of it. However looking at Allison's beaming smile made him decide.
"Yes, as long as we aren't gone for long." Five said, hiding his pain underneath a grimace. He was going to hate tomorrow. He had to remind himself that he wouldn't be gone for long, and this was the first step to starting his life again. He needed to push himself.
"Of course. It will be only two hours," She ruffled his hair and Five felt his heart flutter. It was nice, the human touch was nice. He did feel a part of his mind cringe at the touch.
"I need to sort some court things out and make some phone calls, will you be okay now?" Allison asked. "I can stay if you want."
Five shook his head.
"Allison, I'm fine. Go and sort out your things."
Allison nodded and then left his room.
Five sighed and leaned back onto his bed staring up at the ceiling. He was tired, and now he would have to fight his older self. It was such a change from this morning when he was sure his older self belonged here. Now having met his older self, he wanted the chance to live as he should have done. The grass isn't greener on the other side.
His eyes felt heavy, he was tired again but he fought against his body. He would win against the nightmares and his older self.