Tsukisa inwardly groaned when the academy instructor announced they would start taijutsu sparring today. She was extremely tired from last night's mission and just wanted to rest. On the way home yesterday, she told Kushimaru everything that happened in the town so she wouldn't be called in to report. She was just "tagging" along, as he said. After he checked her in at the hospital, he disappeared. By that time it was already 3 am. Once she got treated, she went straight home and passed out again.

And now here she was, sore, wounded and pretending to be asleep on the second day of school. Pretending because she's learned to never actually fall asleep if she can help it. And it was a hard lesson to learn. Her sensei would randomly ambush her in the middle of the night. If she couldn't defend or dodge, then she would get hit with a wooden bokken. One could say she was thoroughly motivated to stay vigilant whenever she could.

But even without her instilled paranoia, she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she would see red. She would smell the fires, the damp earth and the sweet, sweet metallic tang of blood.

She knew had to deal with these thoughts and emotions soon enough. They'll only fester if they're bottled up and explode at inopportune moments. Or implode with guilt and self-loathing. She knew she had to deal with them, but for now, she would put them aside. Using some mindfulness exercises she remembered, she brought herself back to the present.

She was still not looking forward to sparring.

"We're going to the courtyard," called out the instructor. "Find a partner and pair up. This is not for marks."

But they'd still be evaluating us, Tsukisa thought to herself with another groan. No matter how weak her opponent may be, she would still have to move. And at the moment, moving hurt.

She got up and followed as the class trickled out the door. After walking for some time, they ended up in the back fields of the school. The ground was covered with white circles, presumably for said sparring. As soon as they saw them, the students entered one in pairs and looked to the instructor to start them.

This was another disadvantage to skipping years, she didn't know academy procedures.

By the time everyone had left, it was just Tsukisa and Kisame left standing on the sidelines. Somehow, even the other loners found partners, though she suspected it was because they were too scared to fight either of them.

Great, she thought with yet another inward groan. It could've been their lucky day for an easy win. But they chose not to and now she was stuck with Kisame.

Deciding not to try too hard, she stood straighter and looked up at him. "Well, Kisame-san?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with," he grumbled and walked towards an empty circle.

My thoughts exactly.

When the instructor yelled start!, everyone rushed at their opponents, including Kisame.

He threw a left hook, which she easily dodged. She saw his right leg come up, and she managed to lean out of the way just enough for it to miss her. She saw an opening and immediately rushed in. She jumped a little and attempted a roundhouse kick to his head. But the cut on her thigh stretched just a little too much and she had to pull her kick. Kisame's nose was grazed by her sandal before she landed awkwardly.

Taking the opportunity, he threw a kick of his own. She knew she couldn't dodge in time, so she tried to defend. Her arms shook with its force, and the stitches on her chest pulled at the strain. Before she could gather herself, a right hook landed on her face.

She stumbled out of the circle from the impact and cradled her head. She didn't see the smug look on Kisame's face. Nor did she see it morph into a concerned one.

"Is-is that blood?" he asked hesitantly.

When Tsukisa looked down at herself, she saw a small line of said liquid forming on her shirt. She peeked under it and saw that some of the stitches had come out.

"Shoot," she said lightly.

"...Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah I will be," she answered. "Thank you for the match Kisame-san," she said with a bow. Without waiting for his reply, she turned around and rushed off. She also didn't see the slight irritation on his blue face.

"Can I be excused to the hospital?" she asked the instructor when she found him.

"The hospital?" he turned around from observing the students. When he saw the blood, a frustrated expression settled in. "What happened?"

"A previous injury was reopened,"

"You were injured and you sparred?" he asked disbelievingly. "Tell me next time, I can't be held responsible if you die."

Wow, ok then. Tsukisa wanted to tell him that he is responsible because he's the teacher, but she held her tongue.

"Go," he said to her before turning back towards the students.

Not needing to be told twice, she got her things from the classroom and hastened to the hospital.

-:-

Tsukisa laid awake in her futon with fresh stitches. It was a chilly spring night, with a particularly beautiful moon. Through her window, she could see the clear sky and brilliant stars. It was the picture of calm and serenity.

And surprisingly, so was she, despite what she felt during the day. When she didn't want to think about it, it came back all the more forcefully. Yet now that she has the time to work through it, she wasn't all that bothered. There was only quiet acceptance.

Before she killed, she had been dreadfully terrified. She was going to purposefully take a life. It contradicted everything she knew. She was scared and confused and didn't know what to do. But once she started killing, and with Sensei there, it had been frighteningly easy.

Maybe it was because of the surgeon in her. She's had a lifetime's worth of experience emotionally distancing herself from her patients. Maybe it applied to her victims as well. Or maybe it was the humanitarian in her. She wanted to help the villagers. She wanted to do whatever she could in her power to save them. Obviously, violence wouldn't be her first approach. But in that moment, she knew that the bandits wouldn't be willing to just listen to her.

She felt bad that she had to kill them, but in the end, she didn't think she did anything wrong. In hindsight, she was helping the villagers. But even if she did think killing the bandits was wrong, they were the ones causing harm. More so than she was. She'd argue that she chose the lesser of two evils.

...

...No, that's not right. She was starting to lie to herself. For some reason, she wasn't satisfied with that reason.

Those morals from her old world, where are they? Of never taking a life no matter what they do, no matter how evil they are because killing them would make her just as bad. Of great power and great responsibility, and fighting to make the world a safer place. Do these sentiments even exist in this world? Don't people find killing someone else sad? Or even wrong? If they don't exist, then is there something fundamentally different about the humans here compared to her old world? Do they not have empathy?

No, that's not fair. There were murderers and soldiers in her old world too. There were serial killers and criminal insanity. But there was also love and justice. If anything, that life seems contradictory and this one straightforward.

Does everyone just not think about morals? Because if they stopped fighting to think―to feel―then they would be bogged down with guilt like she was right now. Or if they do, they shove it aside to move on, to live one more day. They lie to themselves, believing that this is the way the world works and that they can't do anything to change it. While that may be true, they don't even try.

Shinobi won't just suddenly stop fighting to think about why they do or if the cause is worth killing over, especially not in Kiri. The civilians can't afford to practice their values and morals because of the shinobi. When the common man is faced with such overwhelming power and strength, those values would only get him killed.

Then, as long as this strength exists without accountability, as long as this power inequality exists, people would be too scared to have precious things as they could be ripped away in a moment. As long as shinobi exist, people would be too scared to live life the way they want to, conforming instead to the stronger power.

And as long as she's a shinobi, she can't afford to have morals either. This twisted world would run her over if she did. She can't be worrying like this every time she saves people, every time she kills bad guys. She would avoid the killing if she could, but she had to at least be open to this option. Especially if it will ensure her survival.

Plus, if she can help even one person live the way they want to by getting rid of bandits (obstacles) and other criminals (cancer), then it would be worth it.

With her mind made up and her consciousness clear, she took a deep breath and exhaled. She turned her thoughts to brighter things. Like the stars. She closed her eyes, lost in their immersive beauty.

-:-

Kushimaru finally came home the next day. He bought breakfast and was eating his share on the couch. He left hers on the dinner table.

She stared at him for a couple of moments, unsure of how to start. There were a lot of things she wanted to say and ask, but he didn't seem emotionally available. He usually isn't, but when has that ever stopped her? Throwing caution to the wind, she jumped right in.

"Sensei," she started. He turned his head slightly to show he was listening. "How do you deal with killing people?"

"What kinda dumbass question is that?" he retorted. "There's nothing to 'deal'. This is the job. You either do it or you don't."

"Huh," she blinked. "Seems kind of simple."

"'Cause it is, idiot. The sooner you get that through your head, the better."

"Yes, yes, sensei. It's in my head," she waved off as she went to get her own breakfast.

"Then why did you lose to Fuguki's brat?"

Tsukisa winced.

"Because it was a spar," she said honestly. "It was a practice match at the academy. I'm not going to seriously fight him―"

"The classroom is a battlefield too," he interrupted. "You better fight with everything. It's my name on the line."

Tsukisa was taken aback, but she should've expected this kind of thing from him. He was never one to go easy on her.

Her hands unconsciously reached up to the freshly-bandaged gash on her chest. "I will."

Kushimaru scoffed. "Everything means singing too."

She flinched. Hard.

And immediately regretted it when she felt his stare turn into a reproachful glare. She swallowed.

"I―when I sing, I-I intend to kill," she tried to reason. "He's just a student, I can't kill him."

"You will have to."

Ah. The graduation exam.

Surely they won't let two students of the Swordsmen fight to the death before they finished their training, Tsukisa hoped. Right?

But from the way Kushimaru returned to his meal and casually dismissed her, she couldn't deny the possibility. She would have to fight Hoshigaki Kisame to graduate. And she has to graduate to become a shinobi and become a shinobi to survive.

Not wanting to stay in his presence any longer, she packed up her breakfast and lunch. She silently got ready and left for the academy.

Once there, she caught rumours and whispers about one Hoshigaki Kisame making Kuriarare Tsukisa bleed with only a punch. There were many versions of the affair floating around, but all of them ended with her in the hospital. When she walked past the chattering students, they would immediately clam up muscles.

Tsukisa scoffed. They're so obvious, she thought. Aren't they supposed to be shinobi?

When she walked into class, she found Kisame already at their bench. She could practically feel the students' bated breath as she sat down. The classroom was deathly quiet, everyone anticipating a fight between the two (supposedly) strongest students.

"...Are you okay now?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes," she answered. "Sorry for causing a scene."

"O-oh, nah don't worry about it."

And that was that. The tension in the room (created by the other students) left. Some seemed relieved while others, a little disappointed. She paid them no mind though. She was just grateful that he didn't pry into the injuries or attempt to talk more.

The instructor walked in soon after and started class. He droned on and on about things she already knew. So she opted to listen with only one ear and turned her attention to her new books. She's been meaning to learn about healing chakra since her hospital internship would start within the week. She remembered making a plan to keep her head down and control her grades so she would blend into the background. But given recent events, she realized she would always garner attention, so she might as well own it.

She promised Sensei she would fight with everything.

After lunch, when they were to have sparring practice again, Tsukisa found herself on the sidelines. The instructor wouldn't let her participate until she was healed enough. While that seemed nice and all, she knew it wasn't out of the goodness of his heart. She sat by and spent her time reading her books and watching the other students fight.

Needless to say, no one wanted to spar with Kisame after what happened yesterday. The instructor made him alternate with the other pairs instead. He won all his matches (of course) and Tsukisa watched them with keen eyes.

And after the next few days, once she was completely recovered, she was paired with him once again. And every single day they held sparring practice. Kisame and Tsukisa would always fight each other.

She won most of their matches. Sure, he was bigger and stronger, but she was lighter and thus faster. And in battle, speed and timing could tip the odds. Right now, he wasn't the battle-hardened veteran he would grow up to be and she was the one with the field experience. And she used everything in her arsenal short of singing.

Before the end of the week, she went on another low-ranking mission. It was just her and her sensei this time, overlooking the receiving of imported goods. There were no complications either and went about as boring as anyone would expect.

On Saturday, she started her first day interning at Kirigakure General. Her supervisor happened to be the man that examined her; Gonbee. Apparently, there was another applicant, a genin named Kirisaki. But she wasn't sure if she liked him all that much. She kept her distance after she caught him ogling every female staff that walked by them. Fortunately, they alternated days working.

That first day was spent going over the basics. Things like the hospital code of conduct, safety and their duties were covered. They were apprentices to Gonbee and were to follow him around as he went about his responsibilities. The closest position she could compare his' to were NPs from her old world. A bit of a downgrade from surgeon to nurse practitioners, but she'll take what she can get.

-:-

She spent the next month familiarizing herself with the hospital and her expected duties and took note of everything she could improve on with her prior knowledge. At first, she made little suggestions in their practices, like elevating a limb above the heart to reduce blood flow or assessing the lungs from the back for more accuracy.

Gonbee was skeptical, to say the least. But he was a reasonable man and eventually, even he saw the benefit of such techniques.

"Tsukisa," he called out as he walked into the filing room.

"Yes, Gonbee-sensei?" she looked up from the patient report she was finishing up. She was pleased that her supervisor trusted her enough to do so on her own. But she suspected that was only because he didn't want to do the work himself.

"I took that procedure report you wrote up to the Medical Board," he started.

"What?" Tsukisa asked, feigning surprise. "But- you said that was for your records!" She'd been expecting him to do something like this. One thing she noticed about him is his eagerness to contribute to and further the village. When she told him about a new procedure she was thinking about, and he asked for a report on it, she knew he wasn't going to just sit on it. And after the past month spent impressing him with her skills and competency, she knew it was only a matter of time before he got serious about her internship.

"I know. But after I read it, I thought it would've been a shame for it to be just filed away," he handed her a copy of the report. "They're going to have to do some testing before it becomes official. But for now, they've approved its usage with supervision."

"Seriously?" she asked, intentionally widening her eyes. "We can practice it already?"

"Yes, that's what approved means," he answered dryly. "And I'll admit that it's pretty effective. Guess I was wrong about you kid," he said rubbing his chin. "You're only 6 and you already have a medical procedure named after you."

"But… 'Kuriarare Skinning Method'?" she asked, looking down at all the corrections and notes made on the report. "It sounds more like a torture technique rather than one to remove infected skin," she replied.

"Well, it's one of the Swordsmen's names. Can't be too careful," Gonbee dismissed. "Since skin conditions are pretty common, we'll have some opportunities to test it ourselves."

"Okay."

Tsukisa knew she wasn't the one who actually invented this but she was rather proud of herself. After all the hard work she's done over the past 3 years in Kiri, it felt like she was finally catching a break.