AN: Thanks as always for the reviews and follows. Hang on tight and enjoy the new chapter.
The next morning, I once again arm myself with coffee, but also a box of various baked goods for breakfast since today's session with Eric is going to cover that meal. I remembered every morning in Dauntless he had always gone straight for the sweets, like muffins, so I try to appeal to that sweet tooth in him.
Another thing he shares with his son.
Eric is brought in, this time the guards unchain him without me asking and sit him down in front of me before closing the door. I slip a black elastic off of my wrist and hand it to Eric, who quirks an eyebrow before accepting it. He pulls his messy curls back into a bun and leans forward on his elbows.
"You came back." He states.
"As did you." I reply, "Coffee?"
He takes the cup from my hand and takes a sip, "Thanks." He says as he sits it back down on the table, "What's in the box?"
"Muffins, donuts, danish," I begin and he pulls the box over to him.
"Dauntless?" He asks as he looks over the goods, once again looking very much like the son he's never met.
"No, close though." I reply and he looks up at me, "Help yourself. I get them from the bakery that's in the lobby of my apartment building. Definitely not fully Daunltess, but still really good."
"You didn't want to return to Dauntless once everything was over?" He asks.
"No," I shake my head and watch as he grabs a chocolate chip muffin, "Like I said yesterday, I currently live and work in Candor, but I lived in Amity briefly after the war."
"Interesting. Is number boy in Dauntless?" He asks before he takes a bite of the muffin.
"Would you have returned to Dauntless had things been different?" I ask, trying to redirect his focus. I watch him carefully.
"I doubt it." He shrugs, "Probably Amity." He glances up and sees my smile, "Something funny, Tris?"
"Just imagining you in Amity, strumming a guitar and being stoned on peace serum."
"The peace serum actually isn't that bad, we get it here in low doses. It helps." He replies.
"Why Amity?" I ask.
"Johanna and her people wouldn't have turned me away. I wouldn't have been a pariah there. Maybe we could have gotten a little house or something."
I silently pray that my emotions aren't playing out on my face, however the knot in my stomach is a different story, "We?"
"We were headed there together, weren't we?" He asks and I nod, "Were you just going to drop me off once we got there, Tris?" I shake my head no. The tension is thick and his eyes burn through me, but Eric changes topics again, "This is actually good."
"Some of the people who work in the bakery used to run the cafeteria in Dauntless. They're definitely my favorite place to satisfy a sweet tooth," I agree, thankful for him changing topics.
"Do they make the chocolate cake there?" He asks.
"Oh yeah, they don't have it in the mornings usually, but I can grab some this evening for tomorrow, if you'd like," I offer.
"This means you're coming back tomorrow?" He asks and I nod.
"I'll be here every day, it's going to be up to you whether you sit down with me or walk right back out the door."
"You're the one who left yesterday," He challenges.
"I did. I let my emotions get the best of me, this case is a little different for me since we personally knew each other before," I reply.
"I apologize for being crude," He says quietly.
"I can accept that apology, thank you for that," I reply.
"Do you ever think about that day?" He asks.
We're treading very close to the truth about Miles again and I'm slightly uncomfortable, "I do, yes," I reply carefully.
I can see him open his mouth to say something, but he snaps it shut.
"Say what's on your mind," I prod before biting into my cheese danish.
"Is there an issue with that? Like will it hurt my case that we've had, um, intimate relations before?" He asks.
"I've been up front about our sexual encounter, there is no conflict since we have not established any type of relationship afterward. There are enough entries on your visitor log of you refusing to see me to back that up as well," I reply and his eyes narrow.
"Why did you keep coming to see me?" He asks.
"Why did you refuse to see me?" I counter.
"You keep asking me that," He challenges.
"And you keep giving me half-assed answers," I retort, "Give me a satisfactory answer and maybe I'll drop it."
"Feisty," He almost purrs, "Are you asking for me to satisfy you again, Miss Prior?" He replies with a smirk. I decide to play along.
"Satisfaction via conversation, yes. I could take a good, long, hard conversation from you all night." I lob back at him, finishing with a smirk of my own.
"Theres the smart ass mouth I remember. I've missed you," He gives me a genuine smile.
"Maybe I've missed you a little too, you always were my favorite verbal sparring partner. So can you answer my question this time?" I ask.
"I refused everyone. When I was moved out to Indianapolis, Lauren was actually out there. She was one of the dentists who would come on site to do exams. I had a tooth abscess, and she fixed me up. We talked for a while, she would visit and such," He shrugs.
"Was it nice to have someone you had known before the war reestablish a friendship?" I ask, following his lead since he's still playing his cards close to his chest.
"I guess. Lauren is good people, she didn't judge me at all," He replies.
"Did you think that I would?" I counter.
He looks at me, but then down to my napkin, "What the fuck is that?" He asks, scrunching his nose.
"Cheese danish," I reply. I push it towards him.
"Cheese?" He asks.
"Yes, cream cheese, try it," He gives me the exact same look as Miles when he doesn't want to try something, "Trust me, it's good," I say.
Eric takes a bite and I watch his face for a reaction, "Jesus Christ," He murmurs around a mouth full.
I smile at him, "You can have the rest, I'll be sure to grab more than one the next time."
"Yeah like at least three, just for me," He scarfs the rest of the danish down, and begins rummaging in the bakery box.
"Do you and Lauren still keep in touch?" I ask.
He nods his head, "Here and there. Back then she wanted to progress things, like have an actual relationship, or at least fuck. I couldn't, I mean what kind of boyfriend would I be locked up in shit holes like these, especially the way they kept moving me? I can have all the conjugal visits I want, and she was willing, but what happens after that? Meaningless. We're friends though. She's married now, to Lynn, do you remember her?"
I nod my head, "I had wondered what happened to her after the war."
"Thought you two were friends," He states.
"Lost touch," I reply vaguely. Lynn was already gone when everything went down with Four and me, but I'm sure she got an earful from Shauna. What surprises me is that neither she, nor Lauren, said anything to Eric, "So it was just Lauren who visited?"
"Lynn came too, once her and Lauren were together. I was surprised to see her, but she had explained that she pretty much ghosted Chicago and everyone there after the Marlene incident, so I guess she was desperate enough for friends to talk to me," He shrugs.
I furrow my brow, "The Marlene incident?"
His eyebrows shoot up, but then he narrows his eyes at me, "How do you not know? Lynn told Marlene how she felt, after Marlene and her had their own intimate encounter. Marlene ghosted her, and high tailed it back to Uriah. Lynn was pretty broken up over it, and she left Chicago and that bullshit behind to visit Lauren. She never left, she and Lauren ended up falling for each other, now they're married. Seem familiar, Tris?" He asks.
"I hadn't heard," I reply weakly.
"Interesting situation though, wouldn't you say? Two people sharing an intimate encounter based on a long term mutual attraction, or maybe they were finally giving in to something more? Then one person not knowing how to handle it, just runs back to their original lovers arms? Just going back to what was comfortable, instead of actually talking through their feelings. Marlene going back to Uriah after sleeping with Lynn was pretty fucking cold hearted, don't you think?"
He's doing it again, and I can't take his steel gaze. I look down at his folder, and flip through it aimlessly.
"You're not gonna find answers to my questions in that folder, sweetheart." He drawls.
"Lynn was very courageous to have admitted to her feelings. While Marlene may have reacted immaturely, at least she had a chance to know how Lynn actually felt. Besides, it seems to have worked out better in the long run for Lynn, she's happily married now." I finally reply, meeting his eyes. There's something there, but he once again masks it. He's so fucking good at this, "So no other visitors?"
"Besides them, no one else ever tried to visit me, except you. I noticed you didn't try again once I was moved back here." He presses.
"No, I didn't. You had previously refused me for months, I got the hint," I reply evenly.
"Why did you keep trying? Why would you have wanted to see me?" He presses.
"You saved my life, Eric, and then I watched you purposely refuse to cooperate to save your own at your trial. Maybe I wanted answers," I reply.
"I already told you, I followed your lead. I'd heard about your testimony, how you'd managed to omit anything about what happened between me and you to protect your precious Four," He spits, "If you could beat that fucking serum, so could I, it's not like I had a damn thing to live for."
There's an answer, at least partially, he's finally not blaming my testimony for his own refusal to answer.
"You felt alone?" I ask.
"Felt?" He scoffs, "I was alone. My own mother didn't give a shit. I have no clue who my father is, he was one of my mom's perfect reproductive partners. That's what she cared about in Erudite… my sixteen year old mother got knocked up with me when she was purposely trying to get pregnant by someone with just as high of an IQ as her. Romantic stuff, right? I had no real friends, just the people milling around Erudite licking my mother's boots so she'd toss them a crumb of power. Jeanine killed the only person who was ever like a mother to me. It's not like anyone would have missed me had I been executed with the rest of them."
I try my best not to react, this is his first time opening up about Jeanine, and the first time he's acknowledging that he doesn't know who his father is, something I had learned from Jeanine's trial transcripts but would love to talk more with Eric about, but hearing him speak of another mother figure is huge, "She killed someone close to you?" I ask.
"I don't want to talk about it," He growls.
"Ok, we don't have to, not today," I agree.
"We don't ever have to talk about it, get it? I decide what I want to fucking talk about, not you, not anyone else in this fucking place. Got it?" He yells, and I see the guard looking in the window.
"I'm fine with that, Eric," I wave my hand and smile at the guard, and he moves away, "These sessions are for you. I want to make sure you have every opportunity that's afforded to you to get out of here."
"I don't WANT to be out of here!" He stands as he shouts.
"Coulter!" The guard shouts as he barrels into the room.
I stand between Eric and the guard, close enough where I can feel the heat of Eric's body radiating off of him, "It's fine, we are fine, please. I pushed him a little too far, we are fine," I assure the guard.
"This is your only warning, Coulter," The guard replies sternly. Eric sits back down at the table, his arms crossed in front of him. Once the guard leaves the room, I take my chances.
"Eric, please tell me why you don't want to leave prison."
"Maybe you should tell me why you want me out so bad, Tris." He replies evenly. He's once again staring at me, daring me to look away, "None of that we think you can be rehabilitated shit either."
"Because you shouldn't have ever been here to start with," I reply nervously.
He's getting to me, and the look on his face makes me realize that he knows it. He leans forward and puts his hands on the table, close to mine, and I feel his fingertips grazing my own. I move back, crossing my arms across my chest. He does the same, but his eyes still burn through me.
"You actually care, Tris, you have feelings for me, you just can't seem to figure them out." He doesn't ask, he states as if it's fact. He's still posturing himself, daring me to back down first.
I won't.
"That makes two of us then, Eric." I reply boldly.
"It appears we have finally found something we can agree on," He says carefully. He only allows me a brief glimpse, but I see it, his guard comes down slightly and his eyes have softened. So quickly, had I been avoiding his steely gaze like I sometimes do, I would have missed it.
It's time to strike, "Why do you stay here?"
He uncrosses his arms and leans forward, resting his elbows on the table, "I'm someone inside these walls. I get respect," He points his finger at the table to emphasize each point, "Outside, it's not the same. I'm just a reminder of what Jeanine did. Everyone fucking knows that I'm her kid. I can imagine you even look at me and blame me for losing your parents," He replies.
"You're afraid of being hated," I say quietly. I know the answer, it's one of his fears. We had our legal team subpoena the Dauntless archives to review Eric's fear landscape to get any clues that we could use to determine what his mindset might be. All of Eric's fears have underlying meanings of rejection, hate, unworthiness and being unloved.
"Tris," My name comes out as a warning.
"Eric, I don't hate you. I don't look at you and blame you for what happened to my parents..." I begin, but he cuts me off.
"I don't know why I'm even talking to you. You're just here because you're being made to be. I'm just another fucking file on your desk. Do you get a prize for me? Am I worth a set of steak knives at least?" He asks angrily.
"I would imagine that throwing knives would be more appropriate, in case you'd like to order someone to throw them at me again. Just not Four this time, I'm pretty sure he'd actually hit me at this juncture in our lives," I quip.
Eric actually laughs, and it's a beautiful sound. He throws his head back, closes his eyes and truly laughs. I join him, and any time we make eye contact we just start laughing again. The door creaking open interrupts us, and we both compose ourselves when a guard walks in.
"Sorry for the interruption Miss Prior, we have someone on the phone for you, line six," He announces.
"Can you please take a message?" I ask.
"It's an emergency about your son," He replies and I rush to the phone on the wall, pressing the blinking line six.
"Hello, this is Tris Prior," I breathe into the phone.
"Hello Miss Prior, this is Nurse Billings at Candor Elementary, can you state your child's full name and your relationship the child for security purposes?"
"Miles Andrew Coulter, I'm his mother," I reply automatically, in a panic, not thinking of my surroundings.
"Thank you, Miss Prior, Miles is running a high fever and complaining of severe abdominal pains. We have called the ambulance to pick him up and transport him to Erudite General. We believe his appendix may have burst. We contacted his grandfather, who is already on the way and he provided this number to reach you to provide permission for treatment. Can you please provide a verbal confirmation for Miles to receive medical treatment?"
"Yes, you have my permission to provide full medical treatment for him."
"Thank you Miss Prior, please meet them at Erudite General," She replies.
"Yes, absolutely, I am leaving now. Thank you." I disconnect in a panic, and hurriedly pack my belongings, stopping only when I hear Eric.
"Miles Andrew Coulter," He seethes, "Tris you have exactly two seconds to tell me what the fuck that was on the phone."
"I have to go, there's an emergency," I continue packing my messenger bag.
Eric grabs my arm and yanks me towards him, "You said son, Tris, is that my kid?" The guards come in and pull him away from me, placing him back in his chains as he bucks against them, "Tris, is that my kid? Answer me!" He yells.
"I have to go," I hurry past him.
"Is he mine? Tris!" He's red faced from his struggle, and shouting as the guards drag him down the hall. "Fucking tell me, is he mine?" He screams. He's turned his head and is looking straight at me, dragging his feet to prevent being pulled away from me. All I can do is nod my head in affirmation with tears in my eyes before he is forced around the corner.