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I spent last night snuggling Miles as much as he would allow, and when he would wriggle away I just hung out in his playroom watching him play video games online with Pedro. My visit with Eric was heavy on my mind, and my heart, I couldn't wrap my head around how his own mother turned her back when her child was telling her he had been inappropriately touched.

I don't care how much curiosity is encouraged, if anyone touches my child I'm taking action. Jeanine never wanted a child, she just wanted a follower. I can't imagine how ten year old Eric must have felt when his own mother dismissed his concerns. It just solidified my feelings all along, Jeanine is responsible for a lot of the pain her now adult son is going through.

I refuse to let her win, she may have thought her son was replaceable, but he's a complicated yet amazing man who deserves to live his true life.

While Miles is getting ready for school, I do my best to use makeup to conceal the darkness under my eyes. I've had the hardest time sleeping lately, and even though Eric and I were finally making progress I still felt like he was on the edge of exploding at any moment.

Or maybe the edge of a breakthrough.

"I wrote Dad a letter, will you bring it to him?" Miles asks from the doorway of my bathroom.

"Of course I will bud," I smile at him.

"You can read it when you get there, but not right now okay mom?" He asks as he hands me a carefully folded note.

"Absolutely, you have my word." I smile down at him and he scampers off to grab his coat and backpack.

I take one more look in the mirror. I decided to wear a little more make-up today, mostly to conceal my tired eyes, and surprisingly the person looking back at me actually looks alive.

"You look pretty momma," Miles says from the doorway again.

"Thank you Miles, let's head out." I reply.

Our drive to the bus stop is filled with his excited chatter, and once he's on the bus I make my way towards the prison. I check my messenger bag to ensure I still have Miles' note, and I check the bakery box one more time to make sure his pastries are inside. Miles had even asked for a cheese danish this morning when we stopped by the bakery, I swear he'd also drink coffee to be more like his father if I'd let him.

Once I make it through the tedious process of inspection, I'm finally led back to the room. It's been awhile since they let me in, and there's no sign of Eric. I aimlessly check my email on my iPad before the door opens.

When Eric is led in, I can tell he's not okay. He's got dark circles under his eyes that rival my own, and his hair is once again messy from his shower. He's no longer wearing the sling, but I can tell his shoulder is bothering him. Hector carefully unchains him and he sits down across from me.

"Want me to work on your hair?" I ask and he nods. I grab everything out of my bag and get to work detangling his hair.

"I should just cut it," He sighs as I scratch his scalp lightly.

I run my hands through his hair, "I couldn't do this anymore," I reply and he leans against me. He looks up at me and I'm struck by how much he reminds me of Miles.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asks.

"You look just like your son," I reply gently and he sighs happily against me, "He wrote something for you, he asked me not to read it until you did." I reach for the letter and hand it to Eric.

He turns it over in his hand several times, before finally unfolding it. To my surprise, he begins reading it out loud.

"Dear Dad,

Mom told me you hurt your shoulder and I hope it's getting better. I would like to come see you. Mom told me that you and her were working for that and that she wanted us to both be ready. I want to let you know that I'm ready when you are. Mom said that some people she works with aren't good guys but you are and that makes me happy. I hope to see you soon.

Love, Miles Andrew Coulter"

"Wow. You didn't know he was writing this?" Eric asks.

"Not the first clue," I reply before moving to bring his hair up into a bun, he brings his hand to mine, stopping me.

"Can you keep doing that, it feels good," He asks quietly and I pull it back down, scratching his scalp.

"Eric, what would you like to talk about today?" I ask him.

"You're letting me choose?" He asks.

"I think it's only fair," I start to braid his hair and he tries to turn his head.

"What are you doing?"

"Braiding, does it hurt?" I ask.

"No, it's just weird. I like it though," He replies, "I could literally sit here all day letting you do this."

"Now I know how to get you to talk to me," I reply with a chuckle.

He chuckles too, "I didn't like it when anyone else touched me at all. With you it's so different. It's like I always want to be touching you in some way." He says.

"Trust," I reply. I undo his braid and run my fingers through his long hair, "I think we're finding a way to trust each other again."

"I would agree. Besides Lainie, you're the only other person I've felt I could be myself with."

"Why do you think that is?" I ask.

"You've always been so feisty, and no one can tell you shit, but it's when you're being selfless that you're at your bravest. You have this natural ability to empathize with people, you are relatable, and you are just truly a good person. I was awful to you in Dauntless, and you still cared about me then. I ignored you for years once I got locked up, and you still kept trying to help me. I was a complete asshole when you showed up here as my therapist, and you refused to give up. I called our son a bastard... I told you I wished I'd left you..." He trails off, "I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to..."

"Yes, I do. You are always so kind to me, Tris, especially when I don't deserve it. I think I am able to trust you because you show me that you truly care every time we interact. Just a few days ago I was screaming horrible things at you, and today you're taking care of me after I hurt myself. I always called you a Stiff, but your Abnegation upbringing served you so well." He finishes.

"I think you have a bit of Abnegation in you too." I reply and he looks up at me again.

"Dauntless and Erudite too." He replies.

"Same as me." I smile and he grins up at me.

"What's it like now, without the factions?" He asks.

"Different, but in a good way. Having the wall down is huge as well, it gives us a sense of freedom that we never truly had before. The war united us more than anything. It's been nice to not have to live up to the expectations of a chosen faction. I think we've proven that there were a lot of people who felt comfortable in more than one faction." I reply.

"Jeanine wouldn't have ever let this happen." He replies.

"No, she wouldn't have." I agree.

"Do you keep in touch with any of your friends from Dauntless?" He asks.

"No, they all sided with Tobias after the annulment. I've recently been texting with Shauna though, Hector put us in touch," I reply, "She, Zeke and their boys live in the old rebuilt Abnegation section."

"Wow," he murmurs, "Did anyone stay in Dauntless?"

"Tobias and Christina." I reply and he looks up at me again.

"Whenever you're ready to talk about them, I'm here." He says and I nod back at him.

"I miss her sometimes. She was the first friend I made in Dauntless. We were so close." I sigh.

"Did you ever talk after the war?" He asks.

"Neither of us knew what had happened to the other. When I was brought back to Candor to testify, she was there with a lot of the Dauntless loyal. We were so happy and relieved to see each other. I only had minutes to talk to her before I was put under the serum, and that's how she found out about Will."

"Damn," he murmurs, "You shot him to save yourself."

"I could have just disabled him..."

Eric looks up at me again, "Tris, you did exactly what you were trained to do. You watched him kill your mother, you had a matter of seconds to decide between losing your life or taking his. You did what you had to do. You were an amazing Dauntless, Tris, better than I ever could be." He says.

"Thank you." I say and my voice breaks.

I feel the burn of tears but I refuse to let them fall. I pull his hair to the side with one hand, and lean down to grab the elastic from the table. He turns to face me at the same time, and we're suddenly in very close proximity.

"You look beautiful today." He whispers, "In a different place, and a different time, I'd be brave enough to try again."

"Try what?" I whisper back.

"Kissing you."

I have to force myself to move away. The butterflies in my stomach seem to be in full flight, and I concentrate on pulling his hair into a bun. He scoots over so I can sit on the bench with him. I straddle the bench so I can face him and he carefully turns and does the same.

"Are you with anyone right now?" He asks.

"No," I shake my head, "I've dated, here and there, and you know about Jack. He's the only person I was serious enough with to have around Miles. I focus on Miles, and work obviously." I reply.

"What's Miles like?" He asks.

"Talkative. Inquisitive. So smart. The way his mind works reminds me so much of you. He loves puzzles, any type. He's obsessed with lego sets. He actually loves school too."

"What's his favorite subject?" He asks.

"History," I reply, "He gets to learn a little about you."

"I'm sure that's been terrible." He states.

"No, it's been good. When they talk about the war, and the breakdown of the factions, they also talk about how you helped save me. He gets a kick out of it sometimes, like we're famous."

"Would you bring him here so I can meet him?" Eric asks.

"Yes, but I need to be sure of some things first, okay?"

"Like what?" He counters.

"I want to make sure that you're ready, you and I have had some extremely tense conversations since you found out about him, and I want to be sure that you're in a comfortable place. I also want to make sure that we don't set him up for any false expectations. He knows what I do for a living and he knows I am working with you. I am hoping that you are going to continue working with me, and with the parole board to try to get you out of here."

"I still can't believe that letter Miles wrote, he actually wants to see me." Eric says with a smile.

"Yes, he's been asking repeatedly since he found out you were back in Chicago," I reply.

"Tris, do you actually think I could get out of here?" He asks.

I scoot closer so our legs are touching. "You have to want it. You have to stop holding back, and let them see the real you. You have to be willing to put yourself out there, fully exposed, even if there's a chance they'll put you back in this box for another five years. They have to believe that you have changed, and that you will continue to do so, and that you will bring value in your return to society. That being said, yes, I absolutely think you could get out of here."

I can see him contemplating everything I just said, and once again he reminds me of our son.

"Did you ever want to be a leader?" I ask to try to change the heavy subject.

"That's what I was sent to Dauntless to be." He shrugs.

"But did you ever want to be a leader? In Dauntless? In Erudite?" I press.

Eric knits his eyebrows together, "I don't know what you're getting at here, Tris."

I jot down a quick note, something Eric always pays close attention to. "Let's come back to that. Can you tell me something you did on your own, for your own reasons, without having to worry about reporting it back to someone?"

"I don't know, why does it matter?" He grumbles.

I decide to press a bit, "I know the past almost ten years in incarceration have been regimented, and it seems as if your childhood was as well. Dauntless initiation – regimented. Leadership?"

"Regimented." He agrees, "The last thing I can remember doing on my own, for my own reasons, without any regard for the outcome was that day in Erudite with you."

"What was your thought process that day?" I ask.

His grey eyes have the slightest glint of silver, and he closes them briefly while answering, "I had no idea what I was doing that day." He sighs, "Jeanine had found out that Lainie was divergent. That morning, Jeanine sends me to the lab, something she's never done before. So I go into the lab to check on shit like she asked and there's Lainie, hooked up to all these fucking wires, bleeding from her nose and ears. The bitch sent me there specifically to see Lainie like that. I begged Jeanine to stop what she was doing, and she wouldn't. She made me watch it, Tris. She killed her, right in front of me, and told me I'd be next if I didn't get myself together. That was her message to me, and I heard it loud and clear. You know what's even crazier?" He asks, I don't answer and he continues, "I didn't even know you were there. That's how out of the loop Jeanine kept me. The first chance I got, I went through all of her paperwork, looking for anything she had on Lainie. Anything that could have justified killing a woman so pure and loving, and the only reason I found was because she was only ninety five percent divergent. Lainie wasn't good enough to open that fucking box. So I looked for who it was, who had the percentage Jeanine was looking for and it's you. I decided then and there to hatch that plan to get you out of there."

"What happened next?" I breathe.

"I had already tapped into the duct system as soon as I had my apartment there. That was more of a way to cover my own ass, in case shit ever went sideways I always had a way out. I went to Peter, Drew and the rest of those idiots who had turned against Dauntless. I told them I wanted to have some fun with you, and I needed them to cut the cameras so there was no evidence of it. At first they weren't really on board, until I told them they could have a turn when I was done. I got Peter to get you to my apartment, and the rest you know."

"You wanted to get back at Jeanine, so helping her number one divergent escape was your revenge." I jot down notes, and suddenly his hand is on mine.

"It mattered that it was you. I knew you. You weren't this crazy, uncontrollable fucking anarchist monster she led me to believe most divergents were. Neither was Lainie. You both were in a faction because you wanted to be there. I watched you all throughout initiation, Tris, you were fucking born to be a Dauntless. If anyone was leading a life under false pretenses it was me – the divergent forced Daunltess leader who had never wanted to leave Erudite. I'm not going to romanticize it, because at that point I had zero intentions of actually having sex with you that day. We got wrapped up in a moment, and it was good. It was more than good."

He's opening up, and not hesitating to answer my questions, the time is right, "Eric, what would have happened if we had of both made it to Amity?" I ask. My voice shakes a bit, and I'm sure he can feel my hand shaking as well.

"Tris, I promised you I'd follow your rules, but when you get this answer there's no more avoiding the conversation about us. It'll all be on the table." He warns.

"You were right, there's not going to be a way for me to treat you if I don't allow you to freely express what you felt back then, and how it impacts you now. You can speak freely, Eric." I reply and he nods his head once. He hasn't removed his hand from mine, and I entwine our fingers together.

"I would have followed you to Amity. I would have asked Johanna to help both of us. We would have been able to stay there until this shit blew over. I would have likely tried to have sex with you again that very night, and maybe every night until you forgot who the fuck number boy even was. Maybe we would have given a real relationship a try. Maybe it would have worked out for us, or maybe it wouldn't. I don't know. It wasn't just sex for me that day, you'd been on my mind since the day you jumped into that fucking net. The kiss, the constant arguments we had during your initiation, the way you move, the way you think, the way you look, everything Tris. I never thought I'd trust a woman enough to share the type of intimacy we shared that day in Erudite, and I certainly never thought I'd want you and think about you for years afterward. Now that you're back in my life, making me talk to you about shit I've never wanted to think about again, it's all out in the forefront. I could have easily loved you Tris, and maybe you could have loved me too. Maybe we still can."

I can't speak, my throat feels dry, and for a moment it feels like all of the oxygen has been sucked from the room. I said I was ready to hear it, and even though he's alluded to how he feels I never expected the words he just spoke. Surprisingly, he continues.

"I should have died on that train. I found out you went to Johanna, and she sent out her search party. You saved me too, you know?" He keeps a tight grip on my hand, but I reach out with my other hand to his neck, tracing the scar, ugly and pronounced, and breaking up the leadership bars he once wore with pride.

"Eric, you never should have been convicted, you do not belong here. Let me save you again. Let me try." I plea, as my fingers trace the scar across his neck.

"I'm not sure that's possible." He says quietly.

"You're not just a case for me Eric," I breathe out and his stormy eyes meet mine, "Please let me help you."

"Tris..." He trails off and looks down at the table, where our hands remained entwined, he has tears in his eyes.

I move my hand from his neck and wipe the tear that is running down his cheek. He turns his face slightly and presses his lips to my palm.

"Did you ever want the things Jeanine wanted? With divergents? The box? The power?" I ask.

He kisses my palm again then shakes his head, "I think I just wanted her to be proud of me. I just wanted someone to love me." I wipe more of his tears away.

"You have that now." I say as I push my iPad with Miles' picture on the lock screen towards him, "You have a son who is so proud you're his father, and he loves you unconditionally. We made him, Eric."

"My son..." The dam finally breaks, and this time it's me who scoots towards him and wraps him in my arms. I feel him grabbing fistfuls of my long hair, his good arm wrapped around me, and his hot tears soak the front of my shirt.