September – October 2011
It had been a week since Elliot, Kathy and Eli had moved across the country to sunny California, and he was already regretting the decision to leave New York. He knew by leaving Olivia that night, that they would never be the same. That he would never forgive her, and he knew that he couldn't look her in the eye the same. He had been so in love with her for so many years, and with him finally being with her, it hit him too hard.
He had been quiet for weeks after it, and Kathy had suspected something was wrong, and she didn't say anything. When he brought up the idea to move, she thought he was crazy, but a small part of her was relieved that they were going to move. She thought by them moving across the country, he would be able to free himself of the memories, and anything that had to do with Olivia.
Kathy was jealous at first, sharing her husband with another woman. She knew that the job was important to him, and she felt like sometimes she took a backseat to Olivia. She trusted that Elliot was a man of his word, and wouldn't betray his faith and his vows, but she felt like she couldn't say the same for Olivia. Kathy had always been friendly to her, inviting her over for holidays, checking in from time to time, but it never went beyond that. She was afraid if she got too close to Olivia, she would see something in her that she didn't want to see, and she wanted to believe her marriage was Elliot's priority.
It had taken a few weeks after the move for them to get back on their feet and feel grounded again. Eli had loved his new school and already made a bunch of friends, and it make Kathy feel more at ease knowing at least that her son was happy. Elliot had taken a job with the local force, nothing that required him to work long hours, and no undercover ops. The only request Kathy had was nothing undercover, she had too many sleepless nights under her belt, worrying if he would be okay and return back. She was always pissed at him when he didn't call, and had to hear it from Olivia.
Kathy picked up her phone, mindlessly scrolling through social media when she saw a post from Olivia. Again, they had always been friendly, and Olivia had always liked the pictures of the kids that she had posted, and that was that. She felt her stomach drop, seeing the picture of Olivia and her tiny baby bump, and her glowing face. She knew. Kathy assumed that she was four to five months, tops, and if her mind was leading her to where she was about to spiral, she was going to strangle him with her bare hands.
"Elliot…" She tried to remain calm, but she felt the adrenaline running through her body. "ELLIOT!" She yelled and followed the sound of his response into the bedroom. "What the FUCK is this?" She hissed, shoving her phone in Elliot's face.
"What are so worked up about?" Elliot groaned, trying to get ready for his shift.
"Look at the fucking photo, Elliot. Is Olivia pregnant?" Kathy hissed. She wanted to scream more, she wanted to cry, she wanted to hear Elliot say that it's not his, but with his track record of five kids, and shutting down the day after the shooting, her mind wasn't going to allow her to listen to anything else.
Elliot looked at her with a blank face and took the phone out of her hand and stared at the picture. There was no way in hell that she was pregnant, let alone it be his. Olivia had told him that she could never have kids… He wasn't going to amuse himself with the idea of it only being one time because that's how Eli happened. Elliot shook his head, pushing the thoughts away. "I don't know Kath, I haven't talked to her. I gotta go." He stood up and handed the phone back.
Kathy grabbed his arm and looked up at him. "Did you sleep with her? Is this the reason we're here?" She needed answers, she needed the validation that their marriage hadn't changed overnight because they left New York.
Elliot groaned and rolled his eyes. "You always thought I was sleeping with her." He snapped back and walked out of the bedroom.
"Answer me!" Kathy screamed at him, tears rolling down her face.
Elliot stopped and turned to look at his wife, it didn't feel right saying that. "Would it matter at this point if I had? I left New York for a reason, and that reason was not to fight over a woman that is thousands of miles away!" He yelled at back at her, feeling his own anger boiling. "I'm not doing this, Kathy, I need to go to work." He shook his head, leaving the blonde in tears behind him as he walked out the door.
He felt his head spinning, Olivia pregnant? What the fuck… He sat in his car for a few minutes, trying to think straight, and all he could see was that picture of her smiling and that pregnancy glow that he longed to see on her. He wouldn't have left if he had known she was pregnant, but he was the one that ignored all of her calls and texts. He hadn't touched that phone since New York and he knew the answers would be on there, but now he was too chicken shit to find out.
He pulled out his phone and typed in a familiar number and heard it ring.
"Stabler? Where the hell are you, man?" Fin asked
"Fin…" Elliot breathed out, shocked that he had answered. "I'm uh… California."
"What the hell are you doing out there? Liv's been a mess." Fin replied. He was in the station, an ear shot from where Olivia was and knew that he had to keep quiet.
"Is it true? She's pregnant?" Elliot asked, scared of what he was about to say.
"Look man, I don't know what went down between you two, and I have reason to believe this kid is yours, and I know you Stabler, you aint the type of man to just walk out like that, especially on Liv." Fin stated.
Fin had always been right, and even though him and Elliot butted heads, at the end of the day, they were friends and he could trust Fin.
"Fuck…" Elliot breathed into the phone. He felt like his chest was about to explode, his head was spinning again.
"How the fuck do I make this right?" He asked
"I don't know man… but if I were you, I would start with coming back to New York… I know she isn't going to want to see you at first, or hear anything you have to say but…Fin!"
Elliot heard her voice in the background and he couldn't keep it together.
"Look man, I gotta go. Let me know what you decide." Fin's voice came through the phone again and hung up.
Elliot's hand hit the dashboard harder than he expected. He didn't know what to do, what to say, how to make this right. This certainly wasn't the way that he wanted to find out, and he knew that Olivia wouldn't have wanted him to find out this way. He knew he was a fucking coward for leaving like that. He was too caught up in his own fucking head to see what he had right in front of him.
Olivia. It had always been Olivia, and everyone in their right mind knew it, except for Elliot and Olivia. Kathy saw it the moment that he met her, and knew that their marriage would never be the same. All of Olivia's friends saw it, and she had always told them that they were wrong, he's married, he's her best friend, they would never cross that line. Yet, here they were. They had crossed the line that she had made very clear years prior, and he was selfish for it, but he didn't care in that moment. He allowed himself to get lost in her, and she did too, and now she was the one that was alone, carrying his baby, and kicking herself in the ass.
Elliot looked down at his phone when he felt it buzz, and saw another familiar number pop up, and he knew that Fin was either held hostage to provide the number, or he told her the number, and knowing Olivia, she wasn't going down without a fight, even pregnant. He laughed a little to himself, playing out the scenario in his head. He took a deep breath in and slowly breathed out and opened the text.
O: I know you were talking to Fin.
E: He was whispering.
O: Not the point.
O: What the fuck, Elliot?
E: I don't know what you want me to say. I don't think anything I'll say will make us O.K
O: You're damn right. You fucked me, you knocked me up, and you left.
E: It's really mine?
O: I don't want to have this conversation over text. Where are u?
E: West Coast….
O: Looks like I'm about to enjoy some sunshine.