"He-are-e-live?"

"Yes, Jonah."

"Shut up Robbie. Good evening everyone, welcome to The Facts with J. Jonah Jameson. Today at 4:07, a huge mysterious building complex on the edge of Russia blew up all of a sudden killing everyone in the building. The Government is still trying to figure out what caused this and what the building was for in the first place. Nearby towns have stated there was a blue flash of electricity and a red glowing light before it happened-"

"Mr. Jameson?"

"What is it Brock, I'm doing a live broadcast here!"

"Russia Government just announced that huge chunks of the building are seemingly missing as if they got teleported!"

"WHAT! Alright, folks, it seems that parts of the building vanished into another world or something! Does this have anything to do with the infamous Spider-man? Anyways, the Government has announced that the Sokovia Accords are back in action! And that the so-called Skrulls have been taken care of by the Avengers."

"Jonah?"

"What now, Robbie!"

"Miss Brant said she won't show for work tomorrow."

"WHAT!"

"She said she is going on a date with Ned."

"So he's going too! Just because of some romantic nonsense?!"

"Yes, Jonah."

"THan quit just standing there and do something!"

BEEP!

"Ah! I hate that phone! Yes?Hello?So you're saying that the X-men are behind this explosion! Ok thanks, Docter Trask. Folks, the owner of Trask Industries has informed me that he has discovered a camera on the site and spotted mutants in a jet escaping. The mutants appear to be a drunk man with claws, a bald man in a wheelchair, and a blue monkey who's crying for some reason. On to tonight's next story, movie star Tom Holland is reprising his role for Spooder-man in the movie 'Spooder-man: One Way Home'. Which is now Hollywood's worst secret. But that's not all folks, for rescuing the Rouge Avengers in Germany Spider-man is now the world's Most Wanted, not just in New York."

The camera went black as the credits rolled for the broadcast.

Starring: J. Jonah Jameson

Chief Editor: Joe "Robbie" Robertson

Cameraman: Daniel Morton

Graphic Designer: Patrick McGrath

Photos by: Edward "Eddie" Brock Jr

Investigative Reporter: Dawn Michaels