Outskirts of New York City
"I think she'll do fine on the stand, provided she can keep it together." Alex walked out of the small house, Olivia at her side in all black business attire.
"Hopefully, this case depends on it."
They were halfway to the unmarked squad car parked on the curb when Olivia's phone rang.
"Hey El, what's up?" Olivia stopped and Alex beside her, both standing in the middle of the concrete walkway.
With a glance in the detective's direction, Alex tried to gauge the mood of the conversation by the look on Olivia's face.
Laughter blasted through the phone speaker and a tight smile stretched across Olivia's face as she pulled the phone away from her ear to save her hearing, hanging her head with a gentle shake.
Alex smiled. Big brother was picking on his annoyed sister again. That's how it always was between the two of them, especially when Elliot ran out of work-related things to do. Their bond, strong and resilient, was special, making them one of the precincts most dependable pairs. Arguably, it was Olivia's high level of tolerance that evened everything out.
Sticking her hands in the pockets of her tan overcoat, Alex ignored the rest of the conversation, her eyes drifting about the cramped faux-suburb.
The neighborhood had definitely seen better days. From the cracked, stained sidewalks blackened with time, to the neighboring yards with overgrown grass and weeds; Broken and rusted chain link fences leaning at their posts, not doing much to keep anyone out.
"Yeah, we're on our way back now."
Tires screeched in the distance. A black Chevy Impala zoomed down the street, until it slowed to a coast right in front of the house. Her gut warned that something wasn't right, and when a handgun peeked out the rolling down passenger window of the car her eyes widened.
"Liv!"
Bullets cracked through the silent Monday afternoon, the cellphone dropped to the concrete, and before Alex knew it the detective had grabbed and dove her to the grass.
Shielding Alex from the bullets with her own body, Olivia locked on, fierce, arms squeezing relentless; a hand at the back of Alex's head pressing the frozen woman to her chest, the other clenched around her shoulder as the detective protected Alex's most vulnerable areas with her back to the shooter.
Like a volley of explosions, shots continued into the air, some punching into the house's wood siding, while others dangerously ricocheted off nearby objects.
Suffocated against Olivia's body Alex felt a rock of momentum; the woman grunting, tightening her hold.
Another, greater rock shook them, and this time Olivia growled a little louder, forcing through clenched teeth something along the lines of "Fuck".
The bullets stopped, car tires screeched, followed by an aggressive roar of the engine that faded away soon after.
Olivia's grip stayed tight around her even after the car fled, but as it slowly loosened Alex came back to reality; Olivia's abnormal breaths scattered with labored intakes, hard pauses, and forced exhales.
"Liv." Alex wedged out of the embrace and caught the blood staining her coat. "Liv!" She rolled the detective over, praying she wouldn't see hollowing eyes.
Olivia's eyes blinked open, groggy and dazed, but Alex couldn't find a sigh to express her relief, her heart racing with panic. She ripped off the glasses that had been bent across the frame from the force of Olivia's squeeze and stuffed them in her pocket. "Liv can you hear me?"
Slowly, the detective rolled onto her knees and tried to push herself off the ground but grunted, collapsing onto her side with a thud.
"Stop moving." Alex scooted closer, pulling Olivia flat to the grass, and pressing a hand to Olivia's shoulder to still her movement.
"Alex…I need you to focus. Get the phone…call Elliot."
She hesitated to leave.
"Alex do it."
At the command in Olivia's voice, Alex slipped from the detective's side and rushed to the flip phone lying in the middle of the walkway. She looked at it, her eyes widening. The call was still going.
She put the phone to her ear. "Elliot." No answer, but sirens flooded the other end. "Elliot are you there?" She hurried back to Olivia and knelt, her eyes darting to the blood soaking the bottom left of Olivia's shirt. "Elliot come on!"
"Cabot? Are you hurt? Where's Liv?"
"She's been shot, twice I think." Hovering over Olivia, Alex held the phone to her ear with her shoulder, her fingers tugging Olivia's shirt from beneath the belt, working at the lower buttons as she ignored Elliot's calls for "Officer down" over the radio.
She pushed the shirt up and paled at the nasty purplish bruise spread across Olivia's lower abdomen, half obscured by the blood coming through the sizable puncture in her skin. "Shit Elliot this is bad. She's bleeding internally." She heard her anxious tone but couldn't help it.
"Cabot stay on the line. We're almost there. Keep her awake."
"Liv stay with me." Alex's eyes jumped about, searching Olivia's body for any more spots where blood seeped through clothing. Then she caught it, the blood running down Olivia's right hand. She slid Olivia's arm out of the overcoat, cringing at the grunts of agony from below. With her fingers painted red, she rolled up the sleeve and swallowed the sour lump in her throat at the bullet hole torn through Olivia's forearm. "Shit." Liv couldn't have been able to feel that hand.
Alex covered the limp hand with her own, looking up in time to watch Olivia's eyes close and her head roll to the side. "No, Liv." She grabbed the woman's chin and pulled Olivia's face back to her. "Liv…Liv." Her eyes darted about the detective's face. "Elliot she's not responding."
No answer.
"Elliot."
Again, no answer.
Wisconsin—2005
Alex jolted awake, her chest heaving. The head spinning, heart pounding fear; it all felt too real. But tonight wasn't as bad, she didn't wake up screaming or feeling so nauseous she could puke. She closed her eyes and rolled onto her back.
The bullets cracking through the air loud and crisp; Olivia's fingers clenched and digging into her shoulder. She was there. She smelled the stale air and felt the change to Olivia's breaths from where she lay pressed to the detective's body.
Alex sat up and deflated with a sigh, her face in her hands, tremors rippling beneath her skin like small aftershocks.
The setting and circumstances fluctuated but the same premise tormented her dreams. Olivia got shot instead of her, and she always woke up somewhere around the moment Olivia's eyes closed, never knowing if Elliot made it or if Olivia died. She filled in the rest with a happier ending to save her sanity.
Looking over, Alex groaned at the digital alarm clock, her pounding heart beats returning to normal.
"1:45AM"
She slipped out of bed, picking up her cell phone off the nightstand and leaving her bare-chested companion as she escaped the room. In her t-shirt and shorts she wandered amongst the dark, blue-ish shadows of the house; the untouched wood of the staircase chilling the bottoms of her feet as she descended, stepping off and heading to the living room.
Right into the comforting plush of her favorite armchair she plopped, sinking in and drawing her legs up.
Flipping open the phone she squinted at the illuminated blur of black splotches. With a tired grumble, she reached for her spare set of glasses on the adjacent end table. Her eyes burned from the sudden light and her own lack of sleep, but the words cleared as she pushed the glasses on and navigated to an unnamed contact.
'I want to hear your voice. It's stupid…all it takes is a push of a button. No one else has to know we spoke, and I know you'd keep it a secret.'
'212-309-8829' Alex stared at the number for a second longer before tossing her head back to the chair and furrowing her brow at the ceiling. By memory, she'd programmed the number into her new phone shortly after Hammond destroyed her old one. Elliot's number was here too, just in case. In the event Olivia's number changed or stopped working, he was a direct link to her.
'How are they doing? Is she okay? I'm sure she is but I want to hear her say it.'
Alex sighed. If she could just have a few moments to find out. But she wasn't going to act like her communications weren't tracked and monitored. Hammond never said they were, but a prosecutor knew all the tricks of the trade. Granted, witness protection probably had some underhanded methods of monitoring she didn't know about.
Sometimes, she just had to trust that Hammond respected her privacy.
She'd lost count of how many times she'd sat in this chair during the twilight hours, thinking of how fulfilling a conversation with those from her past life would be. Was Liv smiling? Did she ever wonder about her? Who was the new A.D.A.? What was happening in her absence? What new threats had Liv and Elliot encountered?
Alex slumped in the chair and closed the phone. No matter how bad she wanted to, she couldn't break the system. It was in place for her protection and even theirs.
Sometimes tears came, but tonight they didn't.
"Emily?"
She sat up and turned over her shoulder, watching Eric meander out of the shadows in his boxer shorts.
"I'll be up in a minute, go back to sleep." She turned away from him.
"You sure—"
"I'm right behind you." A guilty feeling stirred in her gut at the lack of conviction in her voice.