Moon
I wanna go to the moon.
The moon hung in the sky. Two weeks after the end of the world, it displayed its red streak in an almost proud manner.
Underneath it, only two people existed to see it: Shinji and Asuka. They sat on their dilapidated balcony in a tight, rigid embrace and watched it. Two weeks ago, she died in a fierce battle, and he dragged everyone with him into instrumentality. Two weeks ago, their hearts were laid bare. Two weeks ago, his hands were wrapped around her neck in a noose-like grip as those shared memories were already starting to fade.
Don't leave so soon.
Two weeks ago, he cried into her chest as she expressed her disgust. One week ago, after eternal silence, he took a step. It may have taken the end of the world for it to happen, but he took a step. For the first time in his life, he apologized with meaning. She looked in his general direction with crossed arms as he felt his way through mending. More tears fell as he expressed her importance to him, as well as the past, present and future between them. When he was done, she said no words and sat down next to him. The two watched the endless red sea together.
How could I get through?
Though they didn't speak much, the two remained at each other's side at all times. They walked in silence through the ruins of Tokyo-3, until they found the building they were looking for. At this point, it was the only home they had left. It was severely fractured, but it was home nevertheless. They went to the floor they knew the best, and forced their way into what used to be Misato's apartment.
The first night, Shinji made his way to his closet-room when he was stopped by the grip of a bandaged arm. Asuka did not need to say anything to him, as the look in her eye said enough. Instead, they slept side-by-side in Misato's room. They did not touch each other, but the next night, they were joined at the hands. The night after, they were a few inches closer. Neither acknowledged it, they simply went with it. It was baffling to both how okay they were with such physical contact.
They continued to live in the apartment, surviving off of non-perishables in the cabinets, and even resorting to prying open neighbouring apartments for sustenance. Shinji didn't even question the morality of the situation. The circumstances were dire, and he was just as hungry as her.
The next night, Shinji found Asuka in the bathroom. The water seemed to work, although it was very low-pressure, so they bathed the LCL smell off as best at they could. The door was open, so Shinji had been carrying a towel when he saw her staring at herself in the mirror. Specifically, her face. There was a shadow of a scar poking out from under her eye-bandage, and even he could tell she was looking at it.
When he tapped her on the shoulder, she turned to face him, urging him to take the bandage off. His heart caught in his throat as he thought about facing the consequences of his inaction directly, but he accepted what needed to be done. He put a hand on her shoulder. In one swift motion, he ripped the bandage off, exposing an injured eye. It was not as bad, all things considered; The iris was a lighter shade of blue, and there appeared to be traces of scarring around her eye, but it was functioning.
Asuka blinked rapidly, before turning her head away as fast as she could. Shinji guided her to look at him again, closely inspecting her eye. As he did so, he could see tears begin to leak. He backed away, putting his other hand on her other shoulder, and smiled at her. She sniffled, but reciprocated a weak smile.
Together, they gently took off the arm bandage. There was a thin line that ran through her hand and up her arm. Her marred beauty made her want to cry even more, but it was stopped abruptly by Shinji's hand. His palm, which bore a circular, callused scar, slowly felt its way up the length of her arm. It was rough, yet smooth, and it sent shivers running up her spine. They shared the silence, which felt so loud in that moment.
I wanna go to the moon.
On the current night, the two of them shared a balcony chair as they watched the sky. Since the bathroom, they had achieved a level of quiet closeness. They still had not talked much. The most that was said was during Shinji's big apology, but not much needed to be said. At least, not yet.
The moon was so far away. It was as far away as the person they were each holding. Shinji longed to break through the wall that never seemed to go away between them. Even though during instrumentality, he had seen a hundred lives with her, and seen into her past. Her mama. Her loneliness. Her life being so similar to his, but he still felt as though he could not reach her.
Ironically, Asuka was thinking the same. She had pulled out every stop imaginable, and it seemed as though nothing worked. Had she truly tried? Shinji may have been a selfish brat, but in his whole life, nobody was nice to him. Just like her.
Don't leave so soon.
His mother had left him behind, just like mama. Now, Mrs. Ikari was floating around in space, and her son was alone again. Just like mama. Just like that day in the hospital, when she was hanging from the ceiling, and her daughter was alone again. She wasn't sure how intentional it was, but her arms tightened just a little more around Shinji's torso.
How could I get through?
Shinji's thoughts turned to the young woman next to him. In the beginning of the chaos, he declared that he wanted to be with her forever. She called him pathetic. In a way, she was right. He had opportunities upon opportunities to say how he felt, but again, he waited until the literal end of the world to speak up. The thought made him grimace. One thing he did not do was lie. He wanted to be with Asuka forever, but how could he say as much? Instead of talking, he was holding her in a near death-grip, as if she would disappear should he let go.
Asuka was doing the same. If someone suddenly came back and wanted to see Shinji, they'd have to pry him from her cold, dead hands. Even though they were physically inseparable, her mind was moving too fast, plagued by the idea of him leaving. She thought of how she could say anything to Shinji. She was afraid of being alone in this wide wasteland without him, so she kept her arms around him, no matter how stiff and uncomfortable it was.
I wanna go to the moon.
They stared at the moon. Asuka knew Shinji felt pure shame from the red streak. To him, it was a constant symbol of his failure. She didn't think much of it, but her thumb started slowly making circular motions on the side of his torso. Her gaze flicked to him. She watched his expression go through varying levels of pain before he looked away. It made her sigh.
Don't leave so soon.
Could he truly make Asuka happy by being there? Shinji thought multiple times about whether or not she was safe around him. After all the neglect and objectification, how did she even allow herself to touch him? If he asked, she would have no answer.
How could I get through?
That simple question repeated a thousand times in both of their heads. They breathed in time. Her head tilted onto his shoulder, and he let his own head rest on top.
Mama was gone.
Mother was gone.
Shinji was there.
Asuka was there.
They let their fingers touch, and spoke in time, just like they used to.
"Don't leave."
The song is "Moon" by Kanye West. Great song, came out about a month ago.
Special thanks to Hoodiebud for brainstorming and giving this a look over before it went up. I told him the idea and he was very into it.