(TW: Self Harm)

"Well then maybe we need to rethink this relationship if that is how you feel."

Those words still hung heavy in the air in his mind. Sitting alone in the darkened dressing room he rested his head in his hands, guilt consuming him from that last conversation. It never seemed to matter the person, or circumstances, he somehow always managed to push away anyone and everyone to ever became involved with his life...Christ, why had he reacted the way he did? Lyla had never once given him a reason to doubt her faithfulness, yet merely hours before this moment he had been accusing her of turning to someone else. 'Talk about the pot calling the kettle black,' he thought dryly to himself, and reaching over grabbed the bottle of alcohol he had been steadily drinking. As he took a long swallow, he grimaced at the burning sensation as it went down his throat, and took one more large drink before putting it back on the stand next to him.

When there was a sudden knock, his tempter flared as he quickly snapped, "Fuck off." There was a pause, followed by the door being cracked open. "I said get the fuck-" he started to yell, but immediately stopped when he saw the person standing there. "...Lyla?" he said in disbelief, looking at her with a look of surprise.

"Hi," she said quietly as she stepped further into the room, and gently shut the door behind herself. Looking back over at him, she hesitated before asked, "Is it okay if I'm in here? I can go if-"

"No," he quickly interrupted. "Please...don't go."

Giving a small nod, she cautiously made her way closer, her reservations toward him breaking his heart. "I..." she started to say, but her words died off as her gaze lowered. He simply sat there looking up at her, unsure of what to say as well, when she finally looked back up at him with tear filled eyes and whispered, "I'm so sorry." The hurt in his heart only deepening at the site of her small chin quivering as large tears began to slide down her cheeks he held a hand out to her, silently requesting she come closer. As soon as she was within reaching distance he grasped her hand and gently pulled her down into his lap. Tightly wrapping her arms around his neck she buried her face in his shoulder as she began to fully break down. "I'm so sorry," she repeated through her tears, her cries making his own eyes begin to burn.

"Shh," he soothed, holding her close to him. "It's okay, princess, you did nothing wrong," he murmured, softly caressing her in an effort to calm her down. When she finally was able to calm back down, he had her look up at him. "I am the one who needs to apologize. You did nothing to deserve my accusations, and the way I spoke to you...I'm ashamed of myself."

Not saying anything, she simply looked at him as she lightly caressed his hair. Glancing over, she noticed the bottle sitting next to him, the site of it taking her by surprise."You're drinking," she commented, picking it up to examine how much was missing in the bottle.

"Yeah.." he said, unable to find any words to condone his actions.

Taking the bottle from her, he placed it back on the stand , and as he reached over to do so she finally noticed his other relapse. "Brian..." she whispered, looking at the thin cuts along his arm before looking back up at him.

"I know...," he stated quietly, his gaze avoiding hers. When he felt her gently grab his arm, he finally looked at her, and was taken back when she began to press light kisses over the lines marring his skin.

"I'm sorry our last conversation brought this on," she commented, bringing his hand up to press into her cheek. "I spoke before thinking."

"Please don't apologize for my actions, this is my own fault." He hesitated, before shaking his head as he added, "I don't know why it's so hard for me to let my guard down with you...I hate myself for it."

"You've been through a lot, and I understand," she commented, making him finally look back up at her.

"I will never understand why you chose me...and, truthfully, why you are still here with me."

She gently took his face in her hands. "I'm not going anywhere, Brian, and I'm sorry I ever put that doubt in your head. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you that," she quietly reassured him, her words making his heart ache with adoration for her.

Leaning forward, he softly kissed her. "I love you too," he whispered against her lips, and cupping the back of her head kissed her again, this time deeper and more passionately. "I'm sorry I still struggle with...anything relationship related. I..."

Grabbing his hand she pulled it from where it rested on the back of her head to where she could press kisses along his palm. "Please stop apologizing," she said quietly. "You can't help what past relationships have done to you. All you can do is take it one day at a time, and all I can do is keep trying to show you how much you mean to me, and to treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

He simply looked at her for a moment, before asking, "How do you do it?"

She frowned in confusion. "Do what?"

"Constantly have so much patience...especially with me."

She gave a gentle smile. "I guess you make it easy," she replied, her words making a warmth spread through his chest, and grabbing her face he kissed her, his kiss soft yet also passionate. As his hands slid down to run along her back, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and eventually buried her face into him. "You're so comfy," she commented, her words making him grin.

"Am I?"

She nodded. "You're like a big teddy bear," she sighed, and he could not help but to chuckle this time.

"Well then I'm happy to be your teddy bear, princess," he murmured, holding her tighter to him.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Frowning, he looked down at her. "Why would I want you to leave?"

"I know you like being alone before a show to mentally prepare. I don't want to disrupt that."

"You're the exception to that," he reassured her, lightly stroking her hair.

"You feel tense," she commented when she suddenly noticed how stiff his body felt. "Are you nervous?"

"Twenty plus years later, I still get nervous before every single show," he explained.

Idly, she trailed a finger along his chest. "I can try to help with that, if you'd like," she suggested, looking up at him shyly.

He made a noise in the back of his throat. "Is that so?" he asked, smirking when she nodded with a cute little smile. Leaning forward, he kissed her deeply, his mouth demanding hers. "Maybe you can," he added, moving her to where she was straddling his lap, and reaching down worked to undo his pants as he kissed her hard again. He was taken back back she pulled away, and remaining silent watched as she slithered to the floor to settle between his knees. Immediately, she reached for his belt, and impatiently yanked on the pants once they were fully undone. Chuckling, he lifted his hips to allow her to tug them down his legs to pool around his ankles. Settling back against the cushions, he watched her intensely as she took him in her hand to slowly stroke him.

"Is it working so far?" She asked in an innocent tone, looking up at him with those doe eyes he loved so much.

He gave a small gasp when she ran her tongue along the tip of his cock, and made a noise of approval in the back of his throat when she finally took him down her throat. "So far so good," he murmured, making her give a small giggle as she started to bob her head while applying just the right amount of suction. Grasping a handful of her hair, he gave a low growl as he started to arch his hips up to where he was thrusting into her willing mouth. "Good girl," he whispered, giving her hair a soft caress before again grabbing a fistful with a painfully hard tug.

Giving a small moan, she took him even further into her mouth as her suction tightened on him, her action making him give his own groan of pleasure. When she slipped her hand beneath his shirt to run along his stomach and up to his chest, his skin broke out in goosebumps at the feel of her hand directly on his skin and her nails lightly scratching at him. When she gave a playful pinch to one of his nipples, he gave a small growl, and grabbing at her he yanked her back up onto his lap. Impatiently, she undid her pants and roughly pulled them off of her far enough to release one of her legs from them. As soon as she was back on his lap he pushed her panties to the side and pulled her down onto his cock. "Fuck," she whimpered once he was fully inside her, and wasted no time in beginning to move on him.

"Shit," he groaned, his head falling back against the couch and gripping her hips. "God, your pussy feels so good." When she quickened her movements he looked up at her with intense eyes. "That's it, princess, ride me."

"Brian," she whispered, biting her lip as she looked back at him with pleading eyes. "I'm… I'm…"

"Do it for me," he demanded, and as soon as he felt her beginning to fall apart he pulled her to him to cover her mouth with his, their moans intermingled as they held onto each other. For a moment they stayed still, the only sound in the room their quiet pants, until finally he had her pull back.

"I love you," she whispered, taking his face in her hands.

He gave a soft smile. "I love you too, princess," he murmured, and gave her another kiss.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Manson, you got fifteen minutes!" one of the stagehands called out, and she could feel his body tense back up.

Quickly, they readjusted themselves, before he pulled her back down onto his lap. "I love getting to watch you, you always do so amazing," she commented as she toyed with his shirt.

He smirked at this. "Are you going to come out there and be my good luck charm?"

She looked down shyly. "If you want," she replied, and giving a quiet chuckle he kissed the top of her head.

Looking over the set list for the show, he began to shift his focus onto settling into his stage persona, and went through in his head how he wanted things to go. Understanding his need for that quiet atmosphere she simply watched him, intrigued by the multitude of emotions which crossed his face as he mentally prepared for his performance. When he was given the five minute warning, he took a deep breath before standing up, and looked down at her when he suddenly felt her small hand in his. "You're going to be amazing," she softly commented, giving him a sweet little smile, and smiling back he gave her hand a squeeze and a quick kiss to her forehead before walking out of the room and down the hall hand in hand.

Standing off to the side, she watched in awe as he he performed for the mass of people standing before him in an overwhelmingly large crowd, never growing tired of being able to admire his incredible talent. As he finished one of the songs, she was taken by surprise when his attention was suddenly on her. "I have someone special here with me tonight who I am very grateful to have in my life," he stated in the microphone, glancing out at the crowd before looking back over at her. "I say all the time we've saved each other, and I'm one lucky motherfucker to get her all to myself. This next one I know is her personal favorite, and I want to make this one out to her." Completely in shock as the song began to play, a wide smile plastered onto her face as he sang, touched by the open confession he had made about their relationship. He again surprised her when he made his way over to her, and grabbing her hand he gently but firmly pulled her further out onto the stage and into the presence of the crowd. "I love you," he murmured in her ear when a break in the vocals came, and suddenly kissed her deeply, his action making the crowd scream and cheer. Stunned, she stood there frozen for a moment before returning the kiss, part of her wondering if this was a dream. Playfully, he rubbed his face over hers to smear his makeup onto her face, before stepping back and bringing his focus back to the crowd. Laughing, she continued to watch him, and felt a new connection in their relationship from what had just conspired.