"I mean… it worked." Cosima shrugs. It's been five weeks since she'd last seen Delphine and she was admitting, the treatment was an improvement. Whether it was a placebo effect wasn't as important as the fact it reduced her pain.
Felix seems intrigued, sipping his latte next to the large glass window. "So osteopathy isn't the bullshit you imagined?"
"Apparently not. My pain is greatly reduced. Hell.. it was almost tolerable." Cosima shrugs. "So I guess I have to go back."
"Aren't we right near that clinic?" Felix looks around. "It's off one of the side streets here."
"It is. This is the closest café." Cosima doesn't want to admit that she's been here most days.
It's not that far from her work. And she keeps hoping she'll run into Delphine. She's seen her pass by through the windows, but Delphine's never come in. She suspects Delphine doesn't even notice her.
"Oh no. What are you thinking?" Felix looks at her. "You're here all the time hoping she'll walk in, aren't you?"
Cosima stirs her vegan cappuccino. It's decent, and the diet changes were supposed to help too. "How unethical would it be to lie and pretend to be a … fertility patient?"
"No. No, Cos. You can't do it. Isn't she studying those patients probably to look at how many get pregnant? You'd … you'd ruin her study."
"I would. Except for one problem, I'm not trying to get pregnant. I'd falsify data. I can't do it." Cosima sighs. But she knows she doesn't need to go back. She's even done most of the diet changes. Though she's still bitter.
Then she turns around to see a familiar head of dyed blonde curls at the cash.
"I think that's her." She hisses to Felix, and sure enough when the woman turns, a paper cup of tea in her hands, it is Delphine. Delphine looks over, gives Cosima a small wave and continues on her way. No doubt to work? Or home from it?
"Yeah. That was Delphine Cormier." Cosima tells Felix once Delphine has reached the far side of the café. The door swings open, and Cosima watches the lithe form move, wondering what it is about Delphine that gets to her like this.
"Oh." Felix adds under his breath when he sees Delphine exit the establishment and remove her mask. "Now I get it." Delphine walks towards the clinic, which Cosima takes note of. Evening hours on Wednesdays. Maybe she could book one of the those slots next time. One of the later ones.
"I need to go back." Cosima thinks aloud. Maybe more osteopathy would be good pain wise? Maybe she was just a glutton for punishment. But she cannot deny how much she wants to be nearer to Delphine.
"You're insane. You know that right?" Felix shakes his head. "She's got straight girl written all over her. She probably has a boyfriend."
"She has a husband. And a kid. I think." Cosima admits. "But she left them both in France, over a year ago. So they must be separated, right? I heard her on the phone telling him he could take care of Henri without her."
Felix shakes his head, thoroughly disgusted. "Yup. Yup… you're insane Cos. You can't do this one. I mean, she might sleep with you. But… what would that achieve?"
"I don't know. I just… I want to figure her out."
"Well you cannot lie about trying to get pregnant to get back on her table. You need another, safer ploy." Felix tells her. "I am not pretending to be your gay baby daddy. Not happening."
"Didn't even consider it. What if I were your fake surrogate?" Cosima tosses out, but she's joking. She cracks up at the look on Felix's face and laughs again.
"Uhh you need another angle. Concussion maybe? Or… sore lower back? They're sort of like physio therapists, yeah?"
"I think I have an idea." Cosima speaks, an idea dawning on her. "But it is going to be all kinds of awkward."
"Cos… Getting aroused whenever she calls you a good girl is already awkward. And weird. Really weird. She shouldn't be saying that. You're not a dog. And she's not a dominatrix."
"Definitely not. Though, she'd look hot in leather."
"Cos!"
"What? It's true."
Cosima waits nervously outside the clinic a couple weeks later. This was going to be really awkward. Cathy had clearly gone home for the day, and the clinic door was locked.
It clicks open to reveal Delphine precisely three minutes before their scheduled appointment.
"Bonsoir Cosima." Delphine greets her casually, still masked and moves back to allow her entry.
"Hey Delphine." Cosima shuffles in. "Nice night."
"It is… warm for late October." Delphine agrees. "The room is all ready, see yourself in. Are you good with the online invoice?"
"Yep. I can pay it right after we're done." Cosima assures her.
"So...Cosima… I wasn't expected to see you so soon. Your form said, pain. Did you find our adjustments helped at all?"
"Oh absolutely. My cycle was way better. It was tolerable, mostly. Aside from the puking and a few bad hours." Cosima brushes this off. It had been better. Better was better than nothing. And she had been assured diet changes would help. So here goes.
"So what is the problem?"
"I'm still having pelvic pain." Cosima tells her. That much is true anyway. "During sex." She hasn't had sex in months but Delphine doesn't need to know that. And generally, she discouraged penetration when she did. It just wound up getting awkward, even if she thought she wanted it in the heat of the moment.
Delphine nods, sympathetically. "Oh… we can try to help with that too. No improvement from our last treatment?"
"Maybe a little?"
"Is it just on … entry? Or does it persist for the duration of intercourse?" Delphine asks, no doubt trying to figure out what weird adjustment to try on me to ease pain.
Cosima thinks back to her last sexual encounter, there's no reason to tell Delphine it was with a dildo and not a dick. "It persists. Worse with… umm deep penetration. But even fingers sometimes."
"That must be very difficult." Delphine softens a little more. "We can try some adjustments to try to stretch the adhesions. The same ones that work for your cycle should help. As we discussed before, osteopaths only do external work. Is lack of sensation a problem for you as well?"
"It is." Cosima sighs. That much is true. "And I don't want anything not external done… trust me." That is a vision she does not need in her head.
"So we'll try some more adjustments, and you will tell me how it goes. And I will see you in… six weeks." Delphine offers. "Does that sound reasonable?"
"Sounds good."
"Has it become an issue with your boyfriend?" Delphine asks as she prods gently. "I am feeling adhesions, but there is improvement, Cosima."
"Umm no boyfriend actually. I… I'm a lesbian." Cosima mumbles through her burgundy mask. She is not going to pretend to be straight. Not even for a second.
"But… it's still a problem, even with another woman?" Delphine's face contorts, no doubt making weird silent judgements on lesbian sex.
"Yes." Cosima doesn't elaborate, and Delphine doesn't ask.
"Alright. We'll make some adjustments… but they will be painful." Delphine tells her. "But they may help with both hemorrhoids and sexual pain."
"Great." Cosima sighs. "Obturator membrane?" That was a kind of pain she wasn't going to forget in a hurry.
"Among others, we can do it first if you like?" Delphine offers, pleased to move on.
"OK. Let's get the worse over with." Cosima agrees. Delphine helps her move into position and begins the same irritating poking around the bottom of her pelvis until she locates the membrane.
Cosima hisses with pain, but manages to breath through it. "You sure you're not a sadist?"
"I can stop if you want." Delphine offers immediately, without releasing the pressure. "If you cannot take it, you need to tell me. We can work it in short bursts, if that is easier for you."
"No. I can take it." Cosima shakes her head. The problem being that right now she's thinking about what it might be like to take Delphine. She thinks she's used enough to this by now, but Delphine praises her again. And Cosima feels a shudder run through her body in response. Maybe this was too many years of bondage play coming back to haunt her? Delphine counts down and releases the pressure and gives Cosima a break between sides. She adjusts other areas. And Cosima wonders, if on some level, Delphine feels something too.
"You're tough. Good girl." Delphine smiles at her again, and it's genuine but makes Cosima's stomach drop in a not-so-unpleasant way.
She knows she shouldn't be attracted to Delphine. Cosima tries to find some reason not to want Delphine. Anything. Then she remembers. "I don't know how you do it."
"Do what?" Delphine hovers over her, making another painful awkward adjustment, this time to her tailbone.
"Have fertility patients half the time, and try to help them… when you left your kid in another country!" Cosima shakes her head. It doesn't make sense. Though, she suspects a man could get away with such behaviour. If she's calling Delphine on it, does that mean she's like mom shaming? Then again, for all Cosima knows, they're flying the rugrat back and forth over the Atlantic every few months.
"I don't have children." Delphine looks back at her bewildered, stopping for a moment. "And I would never do that. I would not abandon a child."
"I understood you telling your husband he could take care of Henri without you. So… yeah."
"Henri?!" Delphine begins to laugh maniacally. "Come… See a picture of Henri." Delphine goes quickly to the desk, fusses with her phone for a moment and turns it around to reveal a picture of a brown French bulldog wearing a collar with a red bowtie.
"A dog. A French French bulldog." Cosima nods awkwardly. "Wow…. I'm embarrassed." Henri is a dog. Why hadn't she guessed that Henri was a dog?
"Yes. Henri is a dog. My husband's dog. The dog he brought home as a puppy not quite two years into our marriage on a whim! He can take care of his own dog. Until I left he didn't know who our veterinarian was. Or how to hire a dog walker. I hired him one before I left, thinking that was enough. All he had to do was keep paying him." Delphine rolls her eyes. "And his new girlfriend doesn't know either so I get called."
"Wait… left?" Cosima sits up from the adjustment table. "Sorry about all this… too personal probably."
"No, it's fine. I don't mind talking about it. We're separated ." Delphine says as if it's obvious. "I left the country and moved away. Simon and I are getting a divorce. Which would be easier if he'd just go through the lawyers like he's supposed to. We'd be divorced already if he would just sell our home. Instead he's asking to buy me out but he's low-balling me. My lawyer counters. His lawyer counters… It is going on forever."
"So no kids." Cosima feels hopeful at this. Delphine, at the very least, is unattached. And...available. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed shit."
"No. No kids. My husband didn't want any." Delphine looks back at her calmly.
Cosima nods her head. "And you?" She figures it's a fair enough question, though she's not sure which answer she'd prefer.
"Doesn't matter anymore. As I said… divorcing." Delphine shrugs. Delphine makes an odd face in response, a sort of grimace but Cosima decides not to pry further. Not the time. It's not like they're actually friends.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not." Delphine looks at her before she continues. "It ran its course long ago. This is… just legalities catching up to reality of us not...fitting anymore."
Cosima nods. "I get that."
"I guess anyone single… or unmarried at our age does." Delphine looks back at her for a moment.
""So why Canada?" Cosima asks conversationally as Delphine resumes adjusting her. "Oww…"
"We need to work the other obturator membrane." Delphine warns her. "Let's do it now to get it over with, and then I'll do some gentle movements to improve mobility on your spine."
"OK. Is this my recompense for nosy questions and assumptions?" Cosima jokes even as she gets into position, guided by Delphine's capable strong hands.
"I am not a sadist, Cosima. And it… it was funny. I am not much of a dog person, if you haven't guessed."
"They are a lot of work. Oww!" Cosima winces and tries to breath through the rest of the torture.
"Breathe." Delphine gently tells her. "I will count you down through the last ten seconds."
"OK." Cosima manages to get out and then tries to breathe, deep and slow. She looks up to see Delphine's brow furrowed in concentration. Her hazel eyes glancing at her to check in momentarily before working again. Delphine is gorgeous. Too gorgeous to be allowed to have her hand that close to Cosima's vulva. Cosima sighs a little, she hopes Delphine doesn't notice she's getting a bit aroused. And all she can hope is Delphine doesn't dom on her and call her a good girl again.
"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1. And we're done. You did well." Delphine offers. "OK. Roll to your side again. Knee to your chest. We'll see if we can get you a bit more relief."
"OK."
"Do you have problems with lack of sensation too? Beyond pain?" Delphine asks her conversationally and Cosima just about chokes on her own tongue.
"Umm not really." Cosima gets out.
"OK. If you did, I would suggest seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist for a full internal assessment."
"I'll keep that in mind." Cosima winces.
"It can help some women." Delphine points out, totally unperturbed by the bizarre casual intimacy of their actions, of her proximity. And Cosima must admit to Delphine this is just a job.
"Why can't you glove up and do it?" Cosima throws out, regretting it instantly. She can not let Delphine do that. She can never let Delphine do that. Delphine probing painfully in the general area is bad enough.
"I'm not trained for that." Delphine reminds her. "I only do external work. I do not 'glove up'. It would be far too personal. I can refer you to a physiotherapist some of my clients have used."
"Sure." Cosima closes her eyes, cheeks reddening.
Delphine seems lost in thought for a moment, and then her face twitches noticeably. "Are you mid-cycle, Cosima?"
"Umm I lost track." Cosima throws out. It's sort of true.
"We should try to keep these appointments booked a day or two before your period. Are you regular enough to manage that?"
"Yeah. Yeah I can manage." Cosima wants to die. She wants to either vanish on this table, or kiss Delphine and neither is an option. She is so screwed.