Cosima

"So…?" Cosima prompts. She grins at Delphine across the table. She'd selected a rather bougie brunch spot. But it was good. And a worthy way to cap off what she was thinking would be one of the better first times she's ever had. In fact, if Delphine was willing, she'd happily spend the whole weekend with her.

"So?" Delphine shrugs at her.

"Dude… We had sex. Like… at least three times." Cosima tilts her head, a wide grin forming on her face. She thinks it counts as three times. Maybe she could work in a fourth time sometime today. A little tease to keep Delphine coming back for more.

"I know. I was there. Do not call me dude." Delphine speaks quietly back at her.

"And… I just… I want to know where you are sitting with things now?" Cosima wonders what happens now. If this represents a headlong jump into girlfriend-dom. Or if there's more processing and back and forth to come. Either way, she cannot say she's disappointed.

"I… I am good. I think." Delphine puts down her tea and nods. "I mean, I knew… I knew I liked you."

"Did you know you were…. Bisexual?" Cosima tries out the word. Figuring it would either help or hinder.

Delphine shakes her head slowly. "Not exactly. I thought it was common enough, in animals for example. But I didn't really spend much time thinking about bisexuality for myself. Cosima. I got married when I was 24. But I mean… I guess I must be."

"I know… I know…" Cosima smiles again. "So… we're good?"

"I… I enjoy you. Very much." Delphine smiles softly back at her. "I am … I am aroused by you. The sex was very enjoyable."

"And my praise kink?" Cosima speaks the words cautiously. She suspects it's out there for Delphine. Or at least new.

"I mean… It's not like I have never ...praised someone during sex before." Delphine admits wryly. "Though then it was usually about making sure I got what I needed too."

Cosima nods, that seems reasonable enough. "So you're… OK with it?" If Delphine's willing to call her a good girl and praise her a bit during sex, then this is shaping up to be very promising. Playful sex with Delphine sounds pretty perfect. And it was enough, even as is.

"I can be." Delphine is quick to assure her. "I, euh, actually have other concerns."

"Like?" Cosima tries to appear very serious. Anything like that would have to be addressed quickly.

"Like… pleasing you. Avoiding pain." Delphine is quick enough to spit it out. "Those… those are my concerns."

Cosima shakes her head. "Oh Delphine. I swear, that is easy." And it is, Cosima rationalizes, Delphine can learn and they'll ride the learning curve together. It'll probably even be fun.

"Easy for you, yes. Not for me. I mean to be perfectly honest with you Cosima, I barely ever masturbated. I… have no idea what I am doing."

"Delphine… It's fine." Cosima reaches across the table, trying to grip one of Delphine's hands reassuringly. "I am totally satisfied. I promise."

Delphine eyes her doubtfully. There's disbelief on the beautiful face across the table. Cosima wants to take it away. Wants to make this as perfect for Delphine as it already is for her.

"And… we can try again. Like I said… things aren't always the same. And … a little closer to ovulation and penetration might feel really good." Cosima tries to frame this as a tease, as something to look forward to.

"But it hurt."

"Yeah it did… but to be honest with you I just stopped bleeding from my period like four days ago… next week will be different."

"Bleeding." Delphine repeats, nodding. But then again, having a partner who menstruates is brand new to Delphine.

"Yeah. Happens to you every month too." Cosima points out.

"That… could be extremely inconvenient." Delphine furrows her brow.

"We can totally work around it. Even if it ends up being two different weeks of the month." Cosima shrugs.

"Right." Delphine tries to take this in stride.

"Actually… what day are you on? Of your cycle?" Cosima figures she might as well get a handle on that before she goes and over plans for their weekend next week. If Delphine is due to start her period that might not fly as well as she hoped. Not that she'd mind, but Delphine might.

Delphine takes a few quiet moments to answer. "Uhh… 11?"

"OK… next weekend should be really fun then." Cosima grins.

"Oh… Our spa weekend." Delphine remembers. "I'd… I'd almost forgotten about it."

"Yup. AirBnB, with a big king sized bed… a gorgeous huge bathtub… and we'll hit La Nordik. We will have a fabulous weekend." Cosima promises. And she fully intends to get back into bed with Delphine before that.

Delphine observes her cautiously. "So… it will be a romantic weekend?"

"Yes." Cosima insists. A perfect beginning she thinks. To what will no doubt be a great love affair.

"Cosima… I am not ready to… commit."

"Commit to what?" Cosima asks. "Are you asking to… you still want to be dating other people?" She hadn't expected this, especially Delphine had gotten rid of Tom. She'd thought their falling in love was mutual.

"Non. Just… I don't think I can promise forever. I tried that before and…" Delphine breaks off with a weak expression.

"Yeah we don't need to talk long term right now." Cosima's quick to rush. "I mean I'd prefer we are exclusive… but if that makes you uncomfortable… I guess we don't have to be." It isn't like they have to U-Haul this minute and shack up.

Delphine nods but makes no move to clarify her intentions. And Cosima realizes for now, she'll have to accept it. If Delphine has someone else, Cosima thinks, it might just break her.

In the end, Delphine comes home with her and Cosima is eager to show Delphine exactly how much she wants. She gets Delphine undressed on her bed. She eagerly peels back layers to reveal skin. She dips to kiss Delphine's skin. To suck it into her mouth. She makes her writhe and moan before she's even touched her intimately. Tries to continue the seduction, to show Delphine just how fucking perfect it can be.

The idea of someone else having Delphine makes her ill. But she cannot be selfish here. She has to let Delphine come to this in her own time. Delphine said she thought she was falling in love with her. And that has to be enough. Cosima tells herself. She hovers over Delphine, teasing, trying to tempt her. Delphine reaches her hands up to undress her, and she lets her. She presses their bodies together, breasts to thighs. Cosima wonders what else she could do to prove her sincerity, to express her love. Or if that would all be too much?

"What is it?" Delphine looks up at her from her soft bed.

"Nothing.. I just… I'm happy." Cosima decides on the words.

Cosima buries her face between Delphine's legs. This is simple enough, she thinks. Delphine melts into it this time. No resistance. Delphine comes easily and she continues until she feels strong hands pulling her up.

"Good girl." Delphine tells her. "Now get inside me." And it's enough, Cosima finds this excites her, pleases her. And she can make this enough. It can be more than enough.

She moves to enter her, to pleasure Delphine with her fingers, her face pressed to Delphine's neck. Delphine speaks to her, in English and French. All she can assume is that it is all praise. All affection.

Afterwards, Cosima cuddles into Delphine kissing softly. She can slow down. She tells herself. She can be slow. She won't push. She can't. She's in love, and wants this to go as well as humanly possible. She wants everything. And if she cannot have it now, so be it.

It's only afterwards, letting Delphine stroke her slowly as she guides her movements, does Cosima let herself think about how deep she's fallen. But every time she guides Delphine she can see Delphine's unease. There's something off between them. And she's not sure how to fix it.

She thinks the orgasm will provide satisfaction enough, and for a moment or two it does. But she spoons into Delphine afterwards who seems less than pleased by their encounter. But she doesn't ask. She cannot ask.

She's in too deep. Cosima realizes. She is totally fucked.