Well, Tally's thoughts of confronting the general went out the window, she didn't have the nerve to do it. She was the general and she was just a cadet, why would the general be sending her these gifts? Her insecurities got to her and the next day when she didn't receive a gift her self-esteem plummeted even more.

Suddenly she felt so very alone and small to the world. Maybe she should've gone with Raelle for break instead of staying behind. She found herself sitting near a hidden creek, she wasn't sure if anyone else had found this place but her feet just took her there. She twirled a flower in her fingers as she watched how the sun reflected off the water.

She pulled her coat around her tighter to fight off the cold and sighed, she should probably get back. Not that anyone would be missing her. As she stood to her feet she heard a voice behind her, "Don't look so sad, Craven."

Tally startled at Alder's voice, turning to meet her she was even more surprised to see the general on a horse and Tally's face picked up, looking around to see nobody not even the biddies she blushed with her name on her lips, "Sarah, where'd you get the horse?"

The general smiled down at her the spitting image of one of her paintings, "They're old stables on Fort Salem still, although only the one horse. I keep her around for when I'm feeling nostalgic, but horses are beautiful creatures are they not?"

Tally walked up cautiously and brushed her hand down the horse's face, "They really are, I always wanted one but my mom always refused, there was no place for them at the matrifocal compound."

"Would you like to ride her?" Alder jumped down from the horse, dressed in her peacoat, her hair pulled into a light ponytail, no braid and Tally blushed.

"I...yes?"

Alder helped her up on the horse and then hoisted herself up behind her which should've been awkward but she was pretty graceful about it in Tally's eyes. Maneuvering one arm around the girl, Alder grabbed the rein and the other wrapped around her waist holding the girl close and leaned into Tally's ear, "All set?"

Tally blushed more than she thought she could and nodded, "Yeah, yes."

Alder signaled to the horse to go and they just followed along the stream for a ways before Alder spoke up, "I was worried when you didn't appear knocking down my door today. You looked sad. Something on your mind?"

"Oh, it's nothing, I'm fine."

If Tally could see her she would see Alder's face watching her reaction, a look of worry on her face, "It doesn't appear to be nothing, speak your mind."

Tally sighed, "Well, I was just feeling...lonely. And well you see I've had this secret admirer sending me gifts and I didn't get anything today and Raelle and Abigail have been warning about it because it could be some creeper and I've been really loving the gifts. But when I didn't receive anything today I felt silly and then I felt lonely and then I found myself here. I know this may seem trivial in your eyes but I liked receiving the gifts, it made me feel cared for and wanted."

"Everyone wants to feel wanted and cared for, there's nothing silly about that. I did say my door was open," Alder spoke into her ear and it sent shivers down Tally's spine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to bother you," Tally looked down in shame.

Alder tilted her head to the side to look back at her, "I did wait for you, Tally, you're no bother."

Tally was speechless as those blue eyes shook her to her core. As Alder slipped her hand away Tally diverted her gaze back to the front of the horse, her stomach giving her butterflies.

"Is it okay for me to be glad that you found me?"

Before Alder could answer the horse was suddenly spooked by a bunch of crows causing it to jerk back just a little but just enough to make Tally grasp at the hand holding her waist causing Alder to pull her closer to her chest.

"Whoa, it's okay, let's head back to the stables for now. I'm sure my biddies are exhausted as it is with being so far away lending me their energy."

Tally never removed her hand until they reached the stables, Alder jumping down before her and taking her hand to help her dismount and of course Tally being Tally she just had to fall into the general's arms.

"Oh my goddess, I'm so sorry, general."

Alder had a hint of amusement in her voice as she righted the girl on her feet, "Perhaps we should add horseback riding lessons to the list along with the gardening?"

Blushing Tally moved a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked down again, "Yeah, I may be a Knower but I obviously know nothing."

There was that hand gently raising her chin to meet those blue eyes, "Look forward so you can see how far you've come, Craven. You never know what you could miss if you aren't looking at what's in front of you."

"Yes, ma'am, thank you."

As Alder handed over the horse and rejoined her waiting biddies, Tally continued at her side trying to find the courage to ask her something.

"Earlier you said everyone wants to be cared for and wanted, does that mean even you?"

Alder looked up at her with surprise before relaxing, "Once upon a time even me, but I don't have such a luxury anymore."

Tally stopped and grabbed her hand, "I care about you, even if I'm just another cadet to you, you've done so much for everyone. And I've caught a glimpse of your heart and I care, you deserve someone to care for you too."

Alder gulped down the emotions threatening to spill out the biddies all grinning behind her, "You're too sweet," squeezing her hand before dropping it and continuing their walk, "And you're not just another cadet, Crave. You're the exception."

Tally bit her lip and nodded as she continued alongside her. She spent the rest of the day with the general, even eating dinner with her biddies as she talked with her about how she met Emily Dickinson and still had a signed copy of one of her books lying around somewhere.

When Tally started nodding off in the chair by the fire in Alder's office she was ordered to go to bed. Thanking the general for the evening she excused herself and made it back to her room finding a small basket of chocolate covered strawberries placed at her door with a scroll attached.

Dearest Tally,

I heard from a little bird that you enjoy strawberries. I hope these are to your liking. Of course, nothing could be as sweet as you.

Always, Yours

x

A smile lit up her tired face as she took a bite of one of the strawberries, letting herself into her room. She thought back to Alder and how her scent of cloves had surrounded her and how she had enjoyed her day with the other woman.

And it struck her then how she'd love to spend everyday like today with her even if she didn't have the same feelings for her. So she grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something out and then went to the window, opening it she sang out a seed for a bird and a dove landed on the windowsill.

"I know it's late but do you think you could deliver this to my secret admirer? It's okay if you can't find them but it's worth a shot," Tally petted the bird's head and attached the letter and then it flew off into the night.

Tally smiled and left the basket on her desk as she went to shower and dress in her pajamas, falling asleep to the memory of Alder's arm wrapped around her waist.

Alder stood out on her balcony finishing a glass of whiskey as the dove came and landed on the railing, noticing the letter she took it and gave the bird a scratch on the head before it flew off. Surprised to receive something instead today she held her breath at the thought of being found out until she read the letter.

Dear Admirer,

I've appreciated the attention, I really have. But I've come to realize, my heart belongs to another. I care about her, even if she doesn't return my feelings. I can't accept your feelings, it wouldn't be fair to you. I'm sorry.

Sincerely,

Tally

Alder smiled to herself as she finished her glass off and folded the paper and placed it in her pocket. The young woman hadn't realized she had already returned her feelings. But did she deserve to tell the girl with their positions as they were. Walking back inside she was met by stares from all of her biddies.

"I know what you're all thinking but it's impossible, I can't," they just continued to stare, "Fine! You win, I'll tell her."

The biddies all smiled at each other in triumph and at how easily she gave in, Alder dismissed them to bed as she made her way to sleep for the night as well. Setting the folded paper on her bedside table, she fell asleep to the memory of what it felt like to have her pressed against her as they had rode on the horse. The memory of the warmth of someone who cared for her.