Delphine tries not to panic when she leads Cosima up the walkway to her parents' home in one of the wealthier areas of Paris. Cosima, for her part, doesn't look particularly impressed by the clear affluence. She can tell her girlfriend is looking up facts about the area on her phone. Who knows what Cosima will come up with. Or how it will come out.
"Did you live here too?" Cosima asks.
"Euh… not far from here. But… not in Boulogne-Billancourt." Delphine tries to respond neutrally. "Simon and I lived in the 16th arrondissement. Our house was um… a wedding present from our parents. Largely." Delphine tries to brush this all off. It's awkward, and she doesn't want to deal with this part. She'd met Cosima's parents, Gene and Sally Niehaus, late in the summer and the couple had been lovely. They had their eccentricities, they were both professors, but they'd welcomed Delphine with open arms. Something told her this experience would be quite different.
"So… how stuck up are your parents?"
"Kind of stuck up." Delphine concedes. "But I told them you were coming, that you were an American ex-pat living in Canada, and that you are my girlfriend."
"I know. You even let me move into your townhouse." Cosima grins happily, practically skipping beside her as she drags her small wine-coloured suitcase. Delphine's suitcase is a more standard colour… and took much longer to locate at the airport.
"Yes." Delphine smiles at that memory too, she'd purchased a townhouse. Three bedrooms, finished basement, tiny square of a yard. It wasn't as fancy as what she'd had in Paris, but she was mortgage-free after using her proceeds from the sale of her house. It would be a very sustainable way to live, she could work a little less each week. Spend more time with Henri where she could. It did mean she'd need a car, but Cosima had promised her they'd get a small, fuel-efficient, practical vehicle when they returned. It was, much easier than living with Simon in many ways. And the vehicle would offer the chance for more frequent day trips, with Cosima.
"So… please give me a quick rundown before I meet your parents."
"Brigitte and Yves Cormier. They're wealthy. Very conservative. From families of… resources. My mother just retired last year, my father is still working. I have one younger brother who is supposedly getting married next spring." Delphine sighs, that will be another visit for she and Cosima. One in which she will have to deal with having her sexuality and sanity questioned by her extended family.
"So… the gay thing isn't going to fly well." Cosima presumes quickly. "And your papa - he still works for Renault?" She can tell Cosima is trying to remember, trying not to get things wrong. It likely doesn't matter but she appreciates the effort.
"It hasn't so far. And yes… he does." Delphine admits. But she wasn't going to let that stop her. They would put in their three awkward days, take meals with her family. And then she was taking Cosima elsewhere. Where they could be alone without question.
"So how many nights do we have to let your parents put us up in their house? And your maman, she's a retired translator so… she'll definitely understand me?"
"At least three… then we'll go to a hotel. And yes, my mother will understand you. My father's English is… so-so. But they can manage. Unlike my brother." Delphine assures Cosima. She has no intention of ruining their trip with this visit. There are many beautiful, romantic or fascinating places she wants to share with Cosima. She won't let her family ruin their trip. The Renault Clio V is parked outside the garage - no doubt to show it off. She doubts Cosima is impressed.
"Hmm good thing you got Elsa's daughter to doggy-sit." Cosima smiles. And that had gone well. Elsa had volunteered her 20-something grad student daughter to housesit. She would stay in their house, take care of the dog… and neither of them would have to worry about Henri for two weeks. Though they both fully expect the canine to cling to Delphine upon her return.
The door opens, and they are led inside by her parent's housekeeper. The house was too large to really maintain without help, Delphine acknowledged and Solange was familiar to her. She'd known her a long time.
"Solange, bonjour." Delphine greets this woman kindly. "Mes parents…?"
"Dans le salon." Solange answers calmly. "Vas-y." Cosima is reluctant to give up her suitcase, but after she shoots her a quick look, Cosima leaves it in the foyer. No doubt it'll turn up in whatever guest bedroom they opt to put her in.
She enters the living room, pulling Cosima by the hand. She spies her father, grey haired and balding, a handsome man gone to seed. And her mother, hair still dyed blonde - sitting on the couch reading something, or pretending to, in anticipation of their arrival. The furniture is the same expensive brown leather she remembers, the heavy wood bookcases… even the wallpaper. Nothing in this house changes, Delphine thinks. Except for her.
"Bonjour, maman, papa…. Je te présente Cosima." Delphine waves at her parents.
"Cosima… Welcome." Her mother's English is well-practiced from years of working in translation, her father's a little less so. But they will manage, Delphine thinks decisively. They all must get used to each other.
"C'est ma copine." Delphine states again firmly, not wanting to open that can of worms in front of Cosima. She'd made it clear in advance who Cosima was to her, that they were lovers and that Cosima had moved into her house.
"Bienvenue." Yves Cormier says finally. "On va manger." He quickly stands, and leads them into the dining room, where they sit. Her mother goes to the kitchen and returns several times, followed by Solange, first with a roast and then with several platters of vegetables… and a bean salad which is no doubt provided for Cosima's benefit.
"Elle est vegetarienne, oui?" Her mother asks without waiting for a response, putting the bean salad near Cosima.
"Oui." Cosima responds, willing to use her rough French.
Dinner passes as awkwardly as she imagined, her parents ask politely about Cosima's PhD, and why she'd stopped working on it, before turning to work. She used the iPad to show her parents pictures of her new home.
"C'est laid!" Maman tells her flatly, shaking her head. "Ta maison est tellement laide!"
"Maman… Regarde l'intérieur." Delphine prompts. She knows her home doesn't have as much curb appeal as she'd like. But it was very functional.
"Why did you buy that?" Her papa shakes his head. "Are you… euhh… struggling?"
"Non, papa. I wanted to be mortgage free. I… own my home outright." Delphine states this clearly. She'd wanted that. It lowers their monthly expenses and might make other dreams possible in years to come. Particularly if Cosima returns to her PhD.
"I like it." Cosima states plainly. " We like our home." Cosima is defiant, and quickly begins flicking through photos of the interior. The dark hardwood, the pale walls, the soft grey soft, the fireplace. All the things that they love about their new house.
"She lives with you!" Her mother whips her head around, as if this is news.
"Oui, mama. Je t'ai dit." Delphine is calm. "Cosima is my girlfriend, my lover… and we live together."
Her parents take this reassertion quietly, chewing their roast. Delphine isn't sure what to say. Her parents had never been particularly skilled at dealing with emotions, especially emotions other than their own. Her chronic unhappiness with Simon had gone mostly unspoken. She wasn't about to let her joy with Cosima face the same fate.
"I am happy! Je suis contente! Finalement!" Delphine tries to break the overbearing silence that too often took the place of honest conversation.
Her parents look at each other, and she wonders who they are to judge. She is certain her father has had affairs, now and then. As for her mother - perhaps she too had sought excitement elsewhere while enjoying the security of her marriage.
"So… what's for dessert?" Cosima asks, trying to lighten the mood after several minutes of quiet chewing.
It's only later as they get settled into the guestroom that Cosima begins to speak more quietly again.
"You know in hindsight I'd rather stay home with Henri." Cosima flops back on the bed. "Your parents are exhausting."
"Ah, speaking of Henri." Delphine starts cautiously. "I received a text message. With photos." She produces the message for Cosima.
"I think these two are yours?" Cosima reads the message aloud. She shuffles through a few pictures of newborn puppies. They were less than a week old. And certainly two of them look different from others. The other puppies are all white. Perfect mini-poodles. But one is light brown all over, and another has brown spots. One looks like they might have Henri's ears.
"I said I'd pay her." Delphine tells her. "I already paid one puppy deposit." Cosima remembers that, and she'd been hesitant especially after Nancy had told her she'd bred Chrysanthemum with the stud anyway.
"So… only two out of the five are Henri's. That's good… right?"
"Well.. apparently… We are paying for them. They are both female. So more expensive to sterilize." Delphine tells Cosima.
"OK. And then what?"
"She said they're vaccinated and ready to go at 8 weeks old. So that's… two puppies in our home right before Christmas." Delphine lets this go.
"Uhh we're not keeping them… are we?"
"Non. Non. We will find them homes. Maybe Elsa's daughter will like Henri so much she'll want one? Or… that friend of yours… he has a niece? Do they want a puppy? Or Scott?"
"Scott has an asthmatic cat." Cosima shakes her head. "He's a cat guy. So not him. We'll find homes for them. Maybe the dog rescue if we can't home them in time?"
"I just hope… they stay cute." Delphine looks at the photos but with such tiny puppies it's still so hard to tell what they'll look like." Simon had sent her the contact information for Karine, his French bulldog breeding coworker. And Karine had been happy to send pictures of Henri's seven purebred puppies, who had all been adorable. Maybe these two would be just as cute. Henri's temperament was definitely desirable in a housepet. At least, Delphine thought so.
"All puppies are cute." Cosima states decisively. "And if they live with us for a month or so while we work on homes for them - that is totally fine. Henri is well behaved. He can deal with two of his children driving him nuts for a few weeks."
Delphine laughs at the thought. She can imagine Henri being irritated by puppies, particularly if their energy levels were more typical of poodles. Which was a definite possibility.
"So…?" Cosima prompts. "Are you like...tired or?" Cosima begins to undress and it's tempting. So tempting. She remembers why she'd let Cosima move in what was probably too soon. She wanted her. All the time. And it was just so much easier like this.
"Come here." Delphine whispers and pulls Cosima into her arms. She needs to make sure Cosima doesn't doubt her love, her devotion. No matter how annoyed her family is. No matter how awkward this introduction becomes.
She knows now how Cosima wants things, and she is happy to oblige. She kisses Cosima, her lips and then her face and her neck. Murmuring all the time how much she wants her, how much Cosima excites her.
The scent of arousal triggers her reactions now, she quickly moves down Cosima's body to pleasure her. She's learned this helps, it makes penetration more comfortable for Cosima - if she can take it. And if not, it is a wondrous way to make love to her bien-aimée .
Delphine cannot contain her own moans, her own excitement over Cosima's pleasure. And Cosima grips her hair, crying out loudly. Not only has she gotten good at this, she loves this. Loves every part of loving Cosima.
"Delphine! Delphine!" Cosima moans her name, and it's so fantastic she forgets to care that they might be overheard.
"You are such a good girl." Delphine coos and watches Cosima respond. She may not share Cosima's praise fetish, but she is beginning to admire the effects it has on Cosima. And Cosimas' arousal.
"Now what do you want to do with me?" Cosima teases her.
"Open your legs." Delphine husks, keeping her voice low… and she shifts to take her. She slides in one finger, followed by a second. She's learned that that is the best way. And usually… that is about as much as Cosima can take despite some interesting but unsuccessful experimentation with a smallish toy.
"Oooh."
"I'm in you… I need to be inside you." Delphine lets herself run at the mouth, thankful that Cosima is once again mid-cycle and this whole process is therefore pleasurable.
"I feel you…" Delphine sighs as Cosima comes and she begins kissing her again, soft and slow as she draws out the pleasure.
"So… you want me to return the favour?" Cosima asks a few minutes later once her breathing has finally slowed down.
"Oui, mon amour." Delphine reaches for her love and lets her take her, lets her have her. And she cannot imagine anything more perfect.
She regrets nothing, not even as her mother is looking at her awkwardly the next morning in a way that makes Delphine suspect that her mother had come up to the guest room door last night.
"Donc… t'es lesbienne," Brigitte nods awkwards as she eats her poached egg.
"Euhh… Oui. Je crois." Delphine shrugs, trying not to make much of it.
"Simon's maman… Suzanne… She told me that Simon had said you'd said that when you picked up Henri." Brigitte switches to English when Solange appears, and Delphine can only sigh at the desire to maintain appearances. Solange wasn't stupid, and had likely put it together already.
"I did… Yes." Delphine states, even as she's helping herself to some fruit with her breakfast.
"Why… Why would you do this?" Brigitte says finally, regarding her daughter with open eyes. It's confusion, Delphine thinks, as much as it is disappointment.
"Do what?"
"Be a lesbian!"
Delphine laughs, and then pauses to take an offered cup of coffee from Solange. "Merci Solange."
Her maman is forced to wait, sitting there.
"So you've been talking to Suzanne." Delphine nods calmly. She remembers her former mother-in-law. While kind enough, she thinks that Suzanne has spoiled her son far too much. And perhaps if she'd demanded a little more of him he'd be an easier man to live with.
Brigitte shrugs. "Nous sommes amies." And it's true, they had been since Delphine and Simon were just engaged. Their mothers had very much been from the same world, and they'd bonded.
"So?" Delphine tries to calm herself. People choose sides in divorces, though, part of her was hoping her mother would choose her. Even if only out of familiar obligation.
"You… you can be with a man!" Her mother tells her simply, raising her hands. "You can be with a man. So why would you do this? Why would you want to?"
"Because I love Cosima." Delphine responds as levelly as she can. "I love her. And that… that is all the difference. I am truly, deeply in love. Elle est… Elle est la femme de ma vie!" She tries familiar words, ones that she's hoping her mother will understand but she merely nods awkwardly and continues to eat her breakfast.
"You should have had his baby." Brigitte tells her suddenly.
"What?!" Delphine exclaims, nearly dropping her coffee in shock. Her mother had never begged for grandchildren. Not after she'd calmly told her it wasn't in their plans. Maybe she'd assumed they'd change their minds. Maybe not blaming Simon for the lack of expected grandchildren had been a mistake. But she'd wanted to help him save face. At what was clearly her own expense.
"Maman… Simon ne voulait pas d' enfants!" Delphine speaks the truth, but suspects her mother doesn't believe her. After all, Simon has quickly produced a child, and she has not.
"Maxime est tellement beau Delphine, comme son papa!" Her mother sighs, closing her eyes. "You would have had beautiful children."
And there's nothing left to say, her mother is clearly convinced of whatever reality she herself believes in. Only, it's not the real world.
It's a couple more awkward hours before Cosima comes down, fully dressed, for breakfast. And hopefully, Delphine thinks. Time out in Paris just the two of them. She wants that so badly she can hardly stand it.
Cosima opts to talk about only Henri's mongrel puppies over breakfast. Throwing out names for them that range from the fantastical to the mundane. Settling finally on Athena and Iris, which Delphine quickly corrects to Athéna and Iris , adjusting the pronunciation accordingly. Neither of her parents pay this any mind. They weren't really pet people after all.
She rushes Cosima through breakfast, and Cosima doesn't mind. Not when they're handed a spare key and told when dinner will be served. They refuse the offer of the spare car, and her parents look at her grimly when she informs them she and Cosima will be taking the metro.
Finally, they're halfway to the Eiffel tower, Cosima's first item on her list of things to see in Paris.
"So what was up with you this morning?" Cosima asks. "I didn't want to ask in front of your parents in case… well in case they heard us."
"Oh I suspect someone did." Delphine responds, trying not to pay it any mind. "But non, maman was on about the last time she saw Suzanne… Euh… Simon's mother."
"She was… seeing Simon's mother?" Cosima whips her head around, trying to figure out what is actually being said.
"Unfortunately yes. The two are friends now…" Delphine sighs, lowering her face to her hand. At least the metro is busy enough that she won't have too worry about anyone paying them any mind. "My mother goes on about Maxime… and why didn't I give Simon that?"
"Uhh because you were using contraception as agreed?" Cosima points out. "Why not say that?"
Delphine snorts a little. "I was… but I do not think my mother will see it that way."
"Should I tell her to wait a few years, and we'll have one? An even cuter one?" Cosima looks at her devilishly.
Delphine laughs again. Cosima is joking, probably, but the image comes regardless. "I do not think she'd like that." She cannot imagine her parents approving of that at all. Maybe they would though - it's certainly a possibility.
"Good."
"Cosima!" Delphine can only feign shock at her lover's cheekiness. Oh how she loves her.
"What? Her kid is queer, involved with a woman and she has to get used to it."
"Just wait until I'll tell them when we'll see them again." Delphine thinks, a half-smile appearing on her face even as Cosima takes her hand and they exit the metro. They're climbing up dozens upon dozens of stairs until they reach street level. And they're close. She can see the tower, and so can Cosima.
"So… you want to go up?" Cosima asks giddily.
"Oui, mon amour." Delphine looks softly at her lover, and her heart feels full and no longer broken. Maybe this time, maybe this time everything would work. Maybe she'd do far better with Cosima than she ever could have with Simon.
They wait for the elevator, and ride it up the tower, they're on the viewing deck overlooking the city. A city Delphine finds she still loves even as she acknowledges it is no longer truly home to her. Cosima is ecstatic. Enjoying the thoroughly touristy experience, kissing her soundly at the top before pulling her hand over to a largely less occupied spot to take in the views. And they are magnificent, Delphine thinks. Even more so through Cosima's eyes.
"So… what are you going to tell your parents?" Cosima asks when the distractions of the Eiffel tower have worn off a little.
"Oh…" Delphine giggles a little. "That I'll see them again… at my second wedding." The thought makes her laugh, as much as it's true. That is likely when she will see her parents again.
"Delphine Cormier!" Cosima stares back at her, her mouth opening just a little too much to be anything but sincere. "Are you proposing to me at the top of the Eiffel tower?"
And she hadn't meant to, not really. It had just sort of slipped out. There was nothing planned or manufactured about it. She'd never even thought about how one would propose. Or how Cosima would like it. She just knew that she wanted to, and that she would...someday.
"That depends...on if you want me to." Delphine responds honestly, and truthfully she knows if Cosima says yes she will be totally willing to drop to one knee and make a scene professing her love in multiple languages.
Cosima laughs and then begins to smile widely at her and there's nothing better. "Go on. You'll have to try and see if I say yes."
Delphine quickly lowers herself to one knee, grateful that she'd chosen to wear pants. She grips Cosima's hand in her own, and she has no ring, no bague fiançailles.
"Are you serious right now?" Cosima's jaw drops and she can only look up at her, thinking just how damn serious she is. She loves Cosima. She can commit to her, it could be easy. Worth any risk of pain.
"How serious do you want me to be, ma chérie? Tu es la femme de ma vie." And with that, taking a breath to steady herself, Delphine begins.