Philadelphia 1912
It was still dark outside when Meredith prepared for her departure. She closed her suitcase and looked around her room one last time. This was another end of another chapter, only a doubtful future laying ahead of the young girl. Closing the door behind her she managed to sneak into Rose's room one final time. There was a strange sensation luring around. Everything had been cleaned and tidied up making it seem as if she had never lived her. Meredith shook her head in disbelief and headed downstairs. It was only the cook and the scullery maid who were already up during this time of the day. They embraced the departing maid and both placed a blessing kiss on her cheek. There was a soft mist covering the streets outside and she disappeared in it.
Meredith had been able to act fast on her resignation. There was a boarding house on the other side of the city, the same place where she stayed a few nights before getting her job. Unfortunately, she was able to come back for the time being. Her heart ached thinking about that dark house. With the cold, creaking beds and barely a single form of light it was a dreadful place to be. But it was better than roaming the streets alone. She at least had a bed, warm food to eat and she could always wrap a blanket around her body and sit down by the fireplace whenever she was cold.
"You're late." Was the first thing the landlady told her when she arrived. It had taken her more than an hour to get there. Following the old lady up to her room, a different one than she stayed in before, she dropped her bags onto the floor and fell down onto the bed. It was still early in the day and her eyes closed due to the exhaustion on her body. She sighed one last time and drifted off into a deep sleep.
Chicago 1912
Her eyes shot open, the feeling of a hand touching her skin and she gasped for air. She sat up straight in her bed and looked around the room only to find Louise sitting on the edge of her bed. He smiled at her and handed her a cup of warm tea. She felt confused and disoriented for a second before her breathing became more subtle. Her hand moved over her cheeks then up to her hair. She touched almost every part of her body, still feeling like she was dreaming.
"I was starting to worry about you. You been in some sort of coma." Louise chuckled. Rose took a sip of her tea, the warmth of it turned her cheeks read.
"What time is it?"
"Almost one in the afternoon."
Rose almost choked on her beverage. She could barely believe she had been out for so long. Moving past Louise she caught her reflection in the mirror of the room. The sleep had done her body good for sure. She didn't look as exhausted as she had been for weeks, color returning back on her complexion. She turned back towards her new friend.
"Where is Jack?"
"Don't worry," Louise reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "He is still with John. Jack hasn't been outside." She walked towards the living room. Rose followed her and watched as she grabbed a new newspaper and held it high up in the air. She then placed it on her dinner table and Rose started reading it in an instant. She couldn't understand how journalists could find out everything. Her picture was in it once more, yet they had managed to find a photograph of Jack as well. It was an image of a few years ago, his face looking slightly younger, but everything about him looked the same. He was standing on a boat together with three older men. Smiling, being nothing but carefree.
Lovers bonded by disaster it read. Hockley still on the hunt for fiancee. Rose shook her head in disbelief, unable to read the words that had been written about them. She handed it back to Louise who was waiting for her to respond, but Rose stayed quiet. Despite being thankful for her help, she wanted nothing but to get out of the city as soon as possible. Where they'd go? She had no idea, but she needed to get away. Louise saw the pain in her eyes and quickly came in action. She had called John earlier in the day to discuss certain things. It was too dangerous for them to travel further already, but they couldn't stay inside all day.
"John and I have been thinking, Rose." She began, "You can lend my clothes, but what are your thoughts on dyeing your hair?"
She somehow had already thought about it, therefore it didn't come as a total surprise. Until Rose was four years old, her hair was completely white. It then slowly turned into a more darker blonde before it turned red. Slowly walking back towards the mirror she inspected her hair and nodded. "Blonde it is, Louise. and cut it too if you think it is necessary."
Her hair remained long, but both her hair and eyebrows had gotten a complete transformation. She was now wearing a simple dark blue cotton dress to draw the least attention to her. To strangers in the city she was not Rose anymore. Her name was Alice Morgan, one of Louise's childhood friends who came to visit for a while. She put Rose's hair up in an older style. Simple. Everything had to be simple.
"You look beautiful, dear." Louise giggled as she was observing her friend from head to toe. Rose felt it too. A feeling of finally being able to relax a little bit. To blend in with the rest of the people. She was given one of Louise's purses before they were completely ready to go. Stepping outside the elevator and opening the front door of the building. The streets were full of life. Rose inhaled the fresh air and allowed to let the sun shine brightly on her face. It was already later in the day, men in suits were heading back from work. Nanny's with little children rushing down the streets to get home on time.
Just as the girls were about the cross the street, an older man came up to them. Louise stopped and waited until he was right in front of her. He looked her up and down, a serious expression plastered on his face.
"Why aren't you at school, Louise?" Hearing that sentence and the way Louise spoke back, Rose knew the man had to be her father. The man then looked at Rose before turning his gaze back to his daughter.
"You know I pay a ton of money for your education, Louise. I let you wait a year before getting married so you can graduate."
"If you let me finish first, father, you might understand the situation. You remember Alice Morgan from elementary school?"
"I am afraid not." Rose felt somewhat uneasy by the man constantly inspecting her. There was something strange about him, something she couldn't quite place, but she managed to play along just fine.
"I am sorry to have kept Louise up, sir," she said, "I have just been in town for a little and I wanted to surprise an old friend, but I shouldn't have kept her from her studies."
"Yes, you shouldn't have, miss." He then lured down, looking at her hand. It quickly occurred to Rose that she was still wearing her engagement ring. It suddenly felt like a heavy stone around her finger, making it unable for her to move.
"God look at that thing. You would have gone straight to the bottom."
The man was still staring before he finally stepped away, wished them a good day and walked off. Seeing the dynamic between father and daughter it reminded her of her relationship with her mother. They seemed more like strangers than family. Louise's cheeks had turned red due to embarrassment. Not saying a single thing about it anymore, she took Rose by her arm and they started walking. It was a different route than last night. Walking past the main roads instead of through the small and private alleyways they got to John's house much faster. Louise took the spare key out of her little purse and opened the door.
"Hello?" She called out loud. Footsteps came from upstairs soon followed by someone walking down the stairs. It was Jack. He stopped halfway to look down onto the girls. He couldn't help but laugh seeing Rose's full transformation. It took all his worries on why they were so late away.
"Don't mock me, Jack." Rose responded as he still had a grin plastered on his face. Then he walked down further, shook his head heavily and greeted her with a kiss.
"I am not. I wasn't expecting it that is all. You look beautiful, Rose. Truly."
"We thought it would be best since everyone's picture is now out in every single newspaper in the country." Louise stated. Jack raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding what she meant.
"They also found a photograph of you, Jack." said Rose.
"How? I have had my picture taken maybe four times in my life."
"Trust me, Jack. Journalists are like hunters. They will often tear down everything until they get what they want to have. I bet John is at the office?"
Jack simply nodded.
"I'll go to him now. I will see you two tonight." Jack and Rose watched her head out of the door again. She closed her eyes as she felt his hands move gently through her curls. His lips could be felt on her cheek, slowly moving down her neck. She didn't want him to stop. In this moment, she wanted him to touch her in every vulnerable part. She wanted nothing but to become one with him. But is was a tearing feeling of both trauma and pain. After what had been the most romantic and happiest moment of her life, a sensation of utter bliss and a feeling as if she had finally freed herself from her restricting life, it was after that when disaster stroke. She couldn't have it happen again. Rose quickly turned around and caught her breath. Jack could feel her discomfort and took a step back. He scanned her whole being, her facial expressions and everything and felt his stomach turn.
"I shouldn't have done that, should I?"
She shook her head and moved past him into the living room. "It's not that, Jack. You might not even remember that we... on board."
"I do remember, Rose. I remember every detail of it. I even remember how I felt both before and after I touched you. After you touched me." Rose allowed herself to move closer to him. She placed her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. It made her warm and the feeling of his heartbeat moving in a steady pace made her relax.
"It's what happened after that I don't want." She whispered against his skin, "It's the sinking. It is losing you that I don't want. It was all after we made love. After I thought nothing could come between us anymore." Jack pulled away for a moment and looked her straight in the eyes. Her words broke him, but it didn't come as a surprise.
"Listen to me, Rose. I will let nothing happen to us anymore. Don't you think I regained my memory before your wedding for a reason? Even at first, when I didn't remember every small detail, and I still don't, all I could think about was you and how I had to go to you." Before Rose was able to respond she broke down into tears. "There is more, isn't there, Rose? What have they done to you."
"No. It wasn't them. Promise me you won't get mad?"
"I promise."
Philadelphia 1912
Someone whispered something close to her ear, but it didn't scare her. Meredith simply opened her eyes and looked into the eyes of a girl about her age. She knew she had been asleep for the whole day, she wanted to do nothing else but to dream of something nice. Sitting up straight, Meredith was now able who had really sneaked into her room. The girl was pregnant and didn't have much longer to go. Leaning her back against the bed frame to support the weight of her stomach she watched how Meredith cleaned herself up before going down. The smell of steamed broccoli coming slowly into her room made it clear that dinner was about to be served. Everyone was already gathered around the table and the landlady pointed towards an empty seat where Meredith took place. She scraped the pans and put the remaining bits of the food onto her plate.
"As you can see," Mrs. Morrison, the landlady said to her, "The longer you wait the less food you'll have on your plate." Then everyone put their hands together for a prayer. There were eight girls in total of which three were pregnant. Two other girls, sisters, had just immigrated from Scotland and were looking desperately for a job. Another girl had eloped with a man, only to find out that the was already married to another woman. Her family refused to take her back in. The last girl did not speak therefore not giving away a single thing about her life. It won't be for long, Meredith told herself. You'll have new job in no time. It was a true struggle to finish her meal, despite it being so little. The smell of it alone made her nauseous.
"First you are late and now you are refusing to eat. Your not in some sort of hunger strike are you like those suffragettes from your country." Meredith thought it was best not to respond to her. Silence can be as powerful as words. Luckily for her, before she was about to receive another offensive comment, there was a loud bang on the door. The landlady shot up from her chair. "Who in the name of God comes by at this hour."
Another knock.
It didn't take long after the door was opened that everyone could hear loud voices coming from the hallway. Everyone stayed silent whilst looking at one another, trying to make out if they could make up what they were saying. Meredith then heard a male voice. She squeezed her eyes, as if it would make her hear better.
"Tom." She gasped and walked out, following the voice. Peeking her head around the corner, she saw that it indeed was him. The moment he saw her he burst inside and hugged her tightly.
"Why are you here, Tom?"
"Why didn't you say goodbye this morning?"
"What on earth is going on here?" Mrs. Morrison almost screamed. Looking past everyone, Meredith stared straight into the eyes of another woman. She was standing in the doorway, now taking a step inside. In the light, her complexion was now more prominent and Meredith knew straight away who she was. She had seen her aboard the Carpathia, Rose had talked about her many times. She was the one taking care of Jack and bringing him to Philadelphia. It was no other than the unsinkable Molly Brown. Molly smiled at her and then looked back at the landlady. "If you'd be so kind, ma'am," She said, "you'd let us have a conversation with miss Davis in private."
"I will simply not allow that."
"Do you have any idea who I am, ma'am? I could have this place shut down within an instant." Meredith couldn't help but grin at Mrs. Brown's words. She watched as Mrs. Morrison quickly headed back into the dining room and demanded everyone to go upstairs. Then there were only the three of them. Tom took a seat next to her and didn't let go of her hand.
"How did you know I was here?"
"The scullery maid told me after some after some persuasion," Tom laughed, "Mrs. Brown came by this morning for you, but you had already left."
"Why were you looking for me, ma'am?"
"I have had news from Rose. She called me yesterday to say she is doing fine and we don't need to worry about her. She wanted me to tell you that."
"I wanna go to Rose," Meredith stood up. "I need to see her."
"That is the issue, dear. Rose doesn't want to be found."
A wave of rage washed over Meredith. She wasn't just angry. She was furious. "What?" She spit, "She calls you to tell you she is alright and I don't get to hear anything from her?"
"It was too dangerous for her, dear."
"But what about me? When do I get to say how I feel. I know what you must be think, who am I? just a stupid maid, my rights aren't as valid as hers, but I am in pain too. She was my friend, perhaps my only one when I came to this country. I knew everything about her and that Mr. Dawson had come back. I even told her to go to him, perhaps even go with him, but she refused that. And now she is gone without telling me anything. Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you know how lonely I am?" She then turned quiet and fell back in her chair. It felt good to let it all out, she also was in pain. The three of them remained silent for a while and all stared at the one candle that was burning in the middle of the table.
"Well you are quite right about that, dear." Molly confessed, "Perhaps there is a way, but perhaps there isn't."
Chicago 1912
Jack's heart was broken when he heard the words come from Rose's mouth. He had never felt this horrible, the guilt was indescribable. He wasn't there when he should have been.
"But why would you every think I'd be angry with you?" He asked her desperately, wiping the tears from his face. Rose shrugged her shoulders. " I don't know," she said, "it could be that because I wasn't taking good care of myself I lost the baby."
"Don't you ever say that again, Rose." And with that they remained silent until both their eyes closed. Later that evening, as Louise and John got back home they found the couple fast asleep on the couch, intertwined in each other's arms.
"Should I wake her up?" John asked, "So she can go home with you?"
"No." said Louise, "Let them be." I will see you all tomorrow. Giving John a goodnight kiss, she closed the door behind her.