Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Bungo Stray Dogs, its characters, or the franchise. This is fanfiction after all.
Story: It started with white petals. Atsushi had gone on to become fond of the smarmy, prideful jerk, but honestly Francis could just make her so happy and laugh so much. And then the sneaking suspicion that maybe she cared for him more than she should, more than the friendship she thought they shared. Then the striped petals came. By the time the red carnations came spitting out of her mouth, she was too in love and longing for him to stop Hanahaki from taking over.
Set as a Hanahaki AUsequel/epilogue to Shades of Petals. Sometime after season 3 of the anime, no further manga arcs/spoilers after.
Spoilers: Maybe.
Warnings: Age disparity. Talk of death, and cursing is a given. Slight gory image.
Pairings: Francis Fitzgerald/Fem!Atsushi

Shades of Petals
The Epilogue: Memories That Won't Fade

Ellaria Fitzgerald was the youngest person in that building, but even she knew there was something wrong with her father sometimes. When she asked her mother, she would just smile at her and tell her he was just thinking a lot right now, especially about the past. She didn't know what happened then, but she just knew it really affected her father.

She was the most curious, however, when her father sometimes disappeared down a dark hallway near his office, where she could see him slip off to sometimes. Not even her mom knew about this.

She was tempted to follow him and find out what he did at those times, but she didn't want to upset him since he usually left to go there when he was looking sad.

But one day, her curiosity was too great and she had to follow him.

When her mother was still at work and she peeked into her daddy's office, she saw her father looking sadly through his windows. He hated looking like this in front of her mother and only did so when he thought no one was watching. Ellaria watched him a lot though, so she noticed when he looked sad. She knew her mother also noticed because her mom always knew everything about her dad.

At that moment, her father stood up and walked towards the exit of his office and she waited until he'd left before she headed for the doors too. Then, remembering the way, she walked down the dark hallway and carefully looked for the door that was usually locked whenever her father wasn't in there.

Taking a huge gulp, she reached out and grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, slipping inside quietly.

Inside was not what she had been expecting.

A huge futon covered in old, dried stains that looked like blood hung against the wall, with several x-rays pinned next to it on either side. The floor was scattered with flower petals, some of which also looked covered in bloodstains. There were purely white ones and purely red ones, and then there were the petals that were a mix of the two colors. Mixed in with those petals were pink flowers that gave her a strangely sad feeling.

"Daddy?" she whispered warily and she saw her father startle and turn to look at her from his spot on the lone chair in the room, seated in front of the futon.

"Ellie?" he called out, eyes wide. "What're you doing here?"

She swayed uncertainly in her spot. "I followed Daddy because sometimes I see you coming here when you're sad. I wanted to know if Daddy was okay and why you come here."

Her father gave her a small smile and held out his hand, and she walked closer, noting the flower buds around that she hadn't before. Grabbing her daddy's hand, he picked her up and sat her on his lap. Up close now, she also saw the bloodied handkerchiefs on the floor at the feet of the hung futon.

"Sometimes Daddy comes here to remember," her father said in melancholy. "So I don't forget what happened and the past won't repeat."

Ellaria wasn't sure what her father meant.

Francis hadn't meant for anyone else to know about this room or to ever find out about it. The room served as a sort of morbid shrine to the past, to a time where flowers meant to him that his world was ending because he was about to lose the most important person to him.

To a time where he almost lost Atsushi.

His now wife had been so fragile, especially in the late stages of her Hanahaki. Pale, bloodless skin and lips, the light in her eyes diminished, but (unknown to him) still so full of love for him. He'd wasted so much time, too much time, not returning her love. He should have been loving her back, instead of her having to suffer through her love alone. She wouldn't have had to suffer, to have had Hanahaki in the first place if only he hadn't been so damn clueless.

He'd been so close to losing her.

That's why, as unhealthy as it was, he'd had this room set up. Francis needed to remind himself of how close that had been. He'd needed to punish himself with the memories, to keep remembering so that it would never happen again. To always keep in mind and heart that he should cherish and love Atsushi always, because she could just as easily, so quickly be taken from him.

"Daddy, what is this room?" his daughter asked and he gave her a solemn smile.

"The truth is, before you were brought back by The Book, your mother —before she was your mother and before I had married her, or even gotten together with her —Atsushi used to deeply love your father."

"Used to?" Ellaria lightly teased and it let the heavy feeling that rested in his chest whenever he went into that room soften.

"I say used to because, at the time, it was a one-sided feeling that I hadn't returned. I was, in some ways, still believing that I was in love with your birth mother —with Zelda."

Ellaria's lips pursed at the mention, but she said nothing. But then she scrunched up her nose. "I don't think I can see that," she confessed.

Francis smiled a little. "What? Me being in love with your birth mother still?"

Ellaria gave a huff and smacked his arm. "No! Well, that too, but mostly Mom's feelings being one-sided. I can't see you not being in love with her."

"A part of me…No, I was most definitely in love with her then," Francis admitted. "But at the time I didn't know that. I just knew I really adored and was attached to Atsushi —she was my best friend and I couldn't imagine not having her in my life. I was just…I didn't realize just how deep my feelings actually were."

Seeing his daughter listening intently, he decided to continue on and tell her what had happened then.

"Your mother loved me very much then," he said quietly. "But because your daddy was too slow to realize, too stupid really…he almost lost her," he swallowed heavily, seeing Ellaria gasp and look worried. "She gained what's called Hanahaki. It's a disease, you see, for people who have one-sided feelings for someone. What happens is that inside their bodies, flowers start growing inside of them. They grow and grow until they cover their hearts and lungs and that person keeps coughing up petals and then eventually flowers.

"Because your daddy was too blind then, he hadn't realized how your mother felt. How I felt. And she was dying and I was helpless and couldn't do anything, especially when I finally realized how much I loved your mother. Thankfully, I realized that just in time and it saved your mother, but…that's why this room exists. So I can remember then and not repeat my mistake. To always remember to love your mother and to remember how I'd almost lost her, how close that had been."

He couldn't move on with his life without remembering and needed a reminder of how much of a fool he had been.

That period in their lives had scared the hell out of him and he was still terrified sometimes that Atsushi's Hanahaki would come back and this time he wouldn't be able to save her.

"Oh," Ellaria frowned and made a teary pout. "I don't…I don't think I could imagine Mom not being here and not being my mother. I…" she started sniffling. "She's the only mother I'd ever really had…"

Francis winced. Neither he nor Zelda had been much present in Ellaria's life before her…death. He'd always been busy with work and his role in The Guild, even if he hadn't been the leader then. And Zelda had never wanted to be a mother, which made things harder on his daughter. There had been things that had happened that he wished he'd known about or had prevented, and moments that he wished his daughter hadn't been so neglected. He was doing his best to be more in her life and to physically be there and not just focus on work, even if he'd always loved and pampered her. He'd lost her once, he wasn't going to lose her again.

"Is that…is that all Mom's blood?" Ellaria asked solemnly.

"…Yes," he answered back just as solemn.

She sniffled again and clutched onto him, staring at the macabre shrine sadly. He held onto her tighter and went back into his thoughts, remembering the past and hoping it would never happen again.

For a while, the two of them sat in that room and thought too much about what the things in that room represented.

Francis helped his wife clean up the kitchen, watching her carefully and making sure she wasn't straining herself. Now too far along in her pregnancy, he was going to have to insist she ask for leave from work at this rate.

"So…I came home today to Ellie tackling me into a tight hug and not wanting to let go for a long while," Atsushi said lightly, glancing at him. He stilled. "She looked ready to cry and told me she loved me and didn't want me to ever go away."

Francis watched her and didn't answer, but she was looking at him distressingly.

"This wouldn't happen to do with that room of yours, would it, Francis?" she asked softly and he winced. He hadn't known she'd known about it. "I don't know why you have that room. I'm here and all of those things in there is kind of morbid, isn't it?"

"I almost lost you, Atsushi," he then said. "Sometimes…sometimes I just need to surround myself with the memories and keep myself from forgetting what happened…what had almost happened. I'm still terrified of losing you and having the Hanahaki come back, you know?"

She smiled sweetly at him and walked over, hugging him gently. He embraced her back, careful with her pregnant stomach.

"How can I ever have Hanahaki again, when you love me so dearly, Francis?"

Francis closed his eyes and held onto her, breathing her in and relieved that he had realized how he felt all that time ago.

Started 8/30/21 — Completed 9/6/21

A/n: Francis can be so morbid and hang onto things too much, eh? Well, here's the epilogue as promised, with an appearance from Ellie, my name for Fitz's daughter and who, some time after the original Shades story, had been brought back~ Might add a chapter or two this, but otherwise should be done :)

Quick Point:

1. This should've been out on Francis' birthday, but things got in the way. In any case, happy belated birthday, my boi!