I do not own Star Wars in any capacity.

Sorry I haven't been posting regularly for a while. I had to put my cat down and it's more or less plunged me into a bout of depression lol.

I'm not back to posting regularly, but some fanart inspired me to put up another chapter^^

Enjoy chapter 10!

Kanan sat in the doorway of the refresher with Ezra nestled in his lap, carding his fingers through the boy's sweaty hair. He could feel his shirt growing damp with tears, but Ezra's mind was finally starting to unwind and let go. This was good. Kanan was grateful that it happened as fast as it did. It had taken him and Nara years to reach this point.

[That's because we were alone] Nara pointed out gently.

Kanan turned his head slightly. Ezra's daiima was still curled up against Nara's chest, Nara's snout resting over her small body. [How is she?] Kanan asked.

[Scared for Ezra… Uncertain.] Nara shifted slightly, tightening her embrace around the loth cat.

That was certainly understandable. With a soft sigh, Kanan shifted his grip on Ezra so that he could stand. He kept the boy cradled to his chest, his head tucked against his collarbone, as he carried him over to the estrade. He took his usual seat next to Nara, leaning against her side as he readjusted Ezra to a more comfortable position in his lap.

The boy didn't seem to notice the change at all, just limply remained where Kanan settled him. Thankfully, he had stopped crying for now, although his breathing was still shuddered. At this point, Kanan was seriously concerned that Ezra was dehydrated. Not to mention his most recent meal remained scattered on the floor near the cot.

"Ezra…" Kanan said softly. "Ezra, I'm going to set you down and get you some water."

The boy didn't give a response, but Kanan hadn't really expected one. He slowly placed Ezra down on the estrade next to Nara. Ezra didn't curl up on the platform like he had expected. In fact, Ezra put a hand out, stopping himself from laying down. He sniffed and sat up stiffly. He kept his gaze diverted as he pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them.

So Ezra wasn't completely disconnected from the universe. He had enough wherewithal to at least have some sense of chagrin about being put down like a small child. Kanan would take that as a good sign.

The muscles in Kanan's arm strained as he kept himself from hitting his leg. He didn't want to accidentally set Ezra off again. So he contented himself with clenching and unclenching his fist as he went to grab a packet of water from the cold storage. He had just grabbed it when there was a small noise, like a wounded animal.

He turned around. Ezra's daiima had crawled out from Nara's chest and was now standing just a few small steps from Ezra. Her ears were low against her head as she looked up at her jemma in earnest. Ezra's eyes were wide and filled with fear as he stared at the ground. No doubt he had sensed her approaching. Or he had just seen her out of the corner of his eye. From their previous interactions, it was obvious that Ezra and his daiima were disconnected from one another, although not completely severed like he and Nara. Cultivating and reopening their bond was going to be a challenge.

But like all things, they had to start somewhere. "Ezra…" he said carefully.

The kid's eyes flickered up to him before quickly looking back down, a shiver running through his shoulders. The boy was terrified… of his own daiima.

Kanan slowly sat down next to Ezra. "She cares about you, you know."

Ezra glared up at Kanan. "She is an Asset…" he growled. Then his glare dissolved slightly into uncertainty. "I… I can't…" he breathed in a half-whimper.

The sound made Kanan's chest tighten with pain. He gripped Ezra's shoulder tightly. "Ezra, she's a part of you…"

An image, a scene, flashed before Kanan's mind. There was an animalistic scream and burning pain in his hands. It echoed with the memory Nara had gleaned from Ezra's daiima the other day. The Inquisitors had punished Ezra for giving his daiima physical affection. The most natural instinct a Force sensitive had…

"You've seen me and Nara," Kanan said softly. "We won't hurt you for holding your daiima."

Ezra gave Kanan a stricken expression, his body trembling so violently Kanan feared he might fall off the estrade. "I'm… I-I'm not like you…" the boy mumbled.

Kanan gave a small frown, slowly sitting down next to him. "In what way?"

"'M not a Jedi."

Kanan sighed, tapping his fist against his thigh as he shared a glance with Nara. "We told you. We're not Jedi."

Nara gave Ezra's daiima a slight nudge with her snout. "You're both safe here. And you both need this."

Ezra just shook his head adamantly, scooting away from his daiima and practically shoving himself against Kanan's side. Kanan was taken aback for a moment, but then he wrapped an arm around Ezra's shoulders. Evidently, he had all at once become a source of refuge for the boy. While surprising, Kanan wasn't going to complain. Force knows, the kid needed some place to feel safe. He supposed it might as well be him…

Seeing her jemma's reaction, Ezra's daiima quickly retreated back to Nara, her ears low against her head. Nara lifted a paw and pulled her back up to Nara's chest. The lothcat trembled as she buried her face in Nara's fur.

[He's just not ready] Kanan thought sadly, slowly rubbing Ezra's arm.

[I know… and I know it's only been a day, but…] Nara lowered her snout, pulling the daiima more tightly up against her chest. [She's just so desperate to be with him.]

[Well I don't want him lashing out and hitting her again. That won't be good for either of them.] Kanan knew that he needed to deal with Ezra's base needs first. Then they could build up from here. He held up the water packet to Ezra. "Here. Drink this."

Ezra blinked at the packet. Licking his lips, he took it from Kanan, cracking it open and taking a sip. The sip turned into chugging, Ezra squeezing it tightly to make the water come out faster. Kanan gave a small smile, trying to think when was the last time Ezra had any water. Definitely not since yesterday. There was no doubt he needed it after two intense bouts of crying.

Food was next on the list. Kanan went to grab another water pack and his share of Sabine's cooking. Sticking a utensil in the container, he walked back over and thrust it in Ezra's lap. The boy took it reflexively, frowning and looking up at Kanan.

"Eat. It'll make you feel better." He also handed him the second water pack.

Ezra nodded as he took it, cracking it open and taking a few more big gulps before proceeding to poke at his food.

Kanan cleaned the cargo bay up as Ezra made slow progress on his food. He also moved the cot a little closer to the estrada so that Ezra's tether with his daiima wasn't strained the next time they slept.

[There's something else we're going to have to address] Nara pointed out.

[Oh?]

[The fact that Ezra just thought she was a 'voice in his head' before they were taken by the Empire.]

Kanan paused in his cleaning to glance at them. Ezra had his head down, staring at his food as he slowly ate it piece by piece. Slumped over the way he was, he looked so young. It was hard to imagine the Inquisitorious approving a child this young like this for solo missions.

Nara overtook their target as he jumped through the dense jungle, igniting his blade. She jumped and pinned the Inquisitor's daiima, the action causing the Inquisitor to trip and tumble to the ground with a grunt, her helmet falling off. Caleb snarled as he ran up and pointed his saber at her throat.

Then his blood went cold. It was Vihi.

Kanan viciously shoved the memory aside. He didn't know why it came up. Vihi had not been nearly as young as Ezra. She was… maybe had been… several years older than Caleb.

[He's probably older than he looks] Nara noted. [But we know that when they were taken, Ezra was old enough that the Little One could remember his name. And he recognized it when he heard it. ]

Kanan didn't want to go down this line of thought. To be old enough to remember his own name… Ezra probably had to have been three or four at least? How could he have lived that long and not known about his own daiima?

Ezra gave a light tap on the side of his head. "Sh-She was just a voice. My conscience."

Ezra would speak to his daiima in his head… but he had no idea she was something separate from his mind. It implied they had never interacted physically before the Empire came and took him.

Kanan was intelligent enough that his mind automatically gave him a plausible scenario. Ezra had to have been cut off from his daiima from birth. Or at least very early on in his life. Ezra's family must have confined his daiima somewhere and kept her secret and hidden from him.

It was horrifying. Seething rage began to bubble up in Kanan. How could Ezra's family do that to him? Kanan couldn't even imagine what it must have been like for them, to be completely disconnected from one another…

Well okay, maybe they had a little bit of an idea. But at least they hadn't had to grow up like that. Kanan and Nara grew up in the nurturing light of the Jedi Temple, where they were taught that their bond was sacred. They might be separate, but they were still one. So when they had been forcibly separated, it was - in many ways, still is - a living hell. But at least they already knew how to live together.

Ezra and his daiima didn't have any of that foundation. How were he and Nara supposed to help establish it?

[They need to feel safe first] Nara said. [She might feel safe with me, but Ezra… He's obviously lost. Like we were lost.]

Kanan couldn't help the growl that bubbled out. Those first… weeks? Months?... on Denova. That had also been the beginning of their new life. The soft line of Kanan's memory that established this life, separating them from the horrors of their life before. But this wasn't an encouraging thought. That time had been lonely and agonizingly long…

[We had been alone. He has you.]

Kanan glanced at Nara, who was gazing at him intently. Right. He couldn't spiral. Not now when Ezra and his daiima needed them. To her left, Ezra was still poking at his food, checked out from the universe. At least he was eating decently enough. It was better than nothing.

Kanan sucked in a deep breath and sighed. There was no easy path forward. But for the sake of this child and his daiima… he would bring himself up to the task.

Hera was reading through a report sent to her via a secure channel from Fulcrum. Hera had requested the network to do some digging into Nova Kaadak, verify not only her skills as a lock breaker but that she would be trustworthy. From this report, she seemed legitimate. Fulcrum didn't have personal experience with Kaadak, but she did have a decent reputation. She also wasn't cheap. Given the complexity of the collar, Hera could only hope they had the credits.

It still wasn't ideal. There was no way to contact her directly, but they had a location. Either Ezra would have to leave the safety of the Ghost, or they were going to have to go meet her first and convince her to do her work on the ship. The latter didn't seem likely. Given the people she worked with, Kaadak wouldn't put herself in a position to be kidnapped or hurt. There was also the matter of allowing a stranger with unknown ties onto her ship. Particularly if she's knowledgeable with tech.

Ezra's daiima might be able to shrink down and hide in his clothes, but there would still be a gap in time where Ezra's collar wasn't scrambled by the Ghost until Kaadak did her work. Even if there was basically no Imperial presence in Hutt space, it didn't sit right with her to leave him exposed. Unfortunately… they weren't likely to have any other choice.

"Chop, I need you to adjust the hyperspace coordinates," Hera said, standing up. "We need to get to Nar Shaddaa."

Chopper growled at her as he watched her walk out of the cockpit. Where are you going?

"Checking in on my crew." She needed to let them all know about the plan. Walking out to the cabins, she first knocked on Sabine's cabin.

The door opened, and the smell of paint and detonite hit her nose. Hera gave a small chuckle. "Working on something?"

Sabine leaned against the doorway. "Yeah, I have a new idea for some explosive paint."

"Please tell me you're not testing it on my ship while deep in hyperspace?"

"Of course not, Hera. I'll do it when we get planet-side somewhere."

There was a slight blue glow coming from behind her. Hera leaned slightly to see Sabine's supplies laid out at her work bench… along with the hologram of Ezra's collar.

Sabine cleared her throat and shifted to put herself in Hera's line of sight. "I know there was nothing more I could do," she said, not looking up at Hera. "But… I thought I might as well see if there's something else I could glean."

Hera gave a soft smile. "Well, we may have a solution for Ezra's collar. There's a woman named Nova Kaadak who has expertise in this kind of tech. I've done some digging, and she seems legitimate. We'll be arriving at Nar Shaddaa by tomorrow."

Sabine frowned. "Nar Shaddaa is no joke."

"I know, but Kaadak seems to be based in one of the main smuggling sectors. We certainly know how to act the part, so as long as we keep our heads on straight, we should be able to get in and out without much trouble.

"And how do you know this Kaadak can be trusted?"

"Well, she's pretty far below the radar, which is good for us. It means she's not trying too hard to get noticed. From what little I've gleaned, everyone who has worked with her has only high praise. We'll need to get Ezra some different clothes as he currently looks every bit an Imperial, but other than that, there's no reason for her to think Ezra's anything but an escaped slave."

The teenager hummed at that. "I mean… that's basically what he is anyway."

Hera gave a humorless chuckle. "I suppose you're right."

With a tired sigh, Sabine looked down in the direction of the cargo bay. "... How is he?" she asked quietly.

"I'm about to go down and check. Let them in on the plan."

Sabine gave a slow nod. "Okay."

Hera put her hand on Sabine's arm. "Listen, what happened - "

"I know it's not my fault!" She yanked herself away from Hera's hand. "Look, this entire situation is just insane! It was hard enough to get used to Kanan and Nara, but this Ezra kid? This child who's an Imperial agent? Who tried to kill us, who is tiny, and looks to have been tortured…?"

"I know," Hera said firmly. "Nothing about this situation is easy. But you have to have trust. Trust me. Trust Kanan and Nara." She shook her head. "I don't really understand this any more than you do. But we'll figure it out. We always do."

"I do trust you guys. You know that. It's just…" She gave a light scowl, pressing a couple fingers to her temple. "It's just a lot to process."

That it was. But while they were processing, they needed to keep moving. "Don't work too late on your little project. I want you rested and alert when we touch down in Nar Shaddaa."

"Yeah yeah…" Sabine said, turning back into her cabin.

"And don't obsess over the collar," Hera added a bit more gently. "It's out of our hands now."

The teen only responded with a curt nod, stepping back into her cabin and allowing the door to hiss shut behind her.

Hera sighed as she made her way down to the cargo bay. She still felt horrible about what had happened. Sabine hadn't deserved that pressure or this guilt that seemed to be lingering. But Sabine also knew how dangerous Nar Shaddaa was so Hera was confident that she would listen and make sure to rest before tomorrow.

For a moment, Hera just stood in front of the cargo bay door. While she needed to speak with them, she didn't want to intrude if Ezra was in a bad state. But she couldn't hear anything, at least not through the durasteel door, so she knocked.

It was only a couple seconds before Kanan opened the door. He looked exhausted. "Hey…"

"Hey," Hera echoed back. "Everything alright?"

"More or less…" He spared a glance back. To Hera's surprise, Ezra was curled up on the estrade with Nara. He was in the far corner, his back to the wall as he warily eyed Hera and Kanan in the doorway.

"Just wanted to let you know, I finished looking into Kaadak." Hera spoke a little bit louder so Ezra and his daiima could hear as well.

"Oh?"

"She seems legitimate. At least, as legitimate as an underground locksmith can be. From all accounts, she's good at what she does and doesn't ask questions. Right now my only concern is if we can afford her. With something as complicated at that collar, it's not going to be cheap."

At the mention of his collar, Ezra sat straighter, his eyes widening slightly as he gazed at Hera.

"We'll figure out the creds," Kanan said, crossing his arms. "On a moon like Nar Shaddaa, there's no lack of work for us to do. Particularly with a ship like this."

Ezra curled into himself again, raising a hand to touch his collar.

"We're also going to need to find him some clothes," Hera said more quietly. "He can't walk through the streets of Nar Shaddaa looking like an Imperial."

Kanan hummed thoughtfully, his hand tapping his thigh. Hera noted that Kanan had been doing it nonstop since they had begun talking. "Sabine knows how to sew. Could she take some of my clothes and adjust them for Ezra?"

That was a comical notion. "Kanan… you're three times the boy's size."

He gave a shrug. "Well unless you have a better idea…"

"I'll talk to her. I don't think she has much experience in specifically seam-stressing, but she might be able to just make something good enough."

"Good enough is all we need. We also might be able to find something for him on the moon."

Hera looked back over at the estrade. It took a moment for her to see the brown lump of Ezra's daiima tucked up against Nara's chest. Then she reached forward and grabbed Kanan's hand to stop his tapping. "How are they?" she asked quietly.

Kanan exhaled through his nose, pulling his hand away and shaking it out. "I think… better? But not quite?" He huffed, going back to tapping his thigh. "Ezra had a bit of a breakthrough. At the very least, he seems to trust me." He gave a hollow laugh. "At least, more than he trusts his own daiima."

"That sounds like progress," Hera replied hesitantly.

"I suppose." He sighed. "Ezra's relationship with her is so twisted. Even before the Empire got their hands on him, I think his parents forcibly separated them."

"I…" Hera frowned, thinking over what she knew about daiima. "How would that even work?"

"I don't know, but Ezra says he didn't even know of his daiima until the Empire took him. It's the most reasonable conclusion I could come up with… Even if we hope it's not true."

"Did he say what happened to them?"

"Happened to who?"

"His family."

Kanan shook his head. "No… They're probably dead."

Hera nodded, her lekku twitching sadly. That did seem likely, although there was always the chance the Empire was using them as slaves. Something to look into later perhaps. If Ezra really was starting to trust Kanan, hopefully that meant he would start to open up. Maybe… Maybe there would be a way to get Ezra back to some sort of home.

But only time would tell. "Well, we'll be arriving at Nar Shaddaa by tomorrow. She's in one of the smuggling sectors."

"Does she know we're coming?"

"I couldn't find a way to directly contact her. Apparently she actively tries to keep a low profile. Vizago has to take his stuff to her directly, which is how I know where her operation is."

Kanan gave a displeased hum. "So we have to drop in unannounced."

"We don't really have another choice."

He shook his head. "No. I'll meet with her first, get a feel for how trustworthy she is."

"She's a successful locksmith living on Nar Shaddaa. We can trust her to do the job and not ask questions," Hera said flatly. "But you're right, it can't hurt to have a quick chat with her first. Maybe you can track down some more appropriate clothes for Ezra while you're at it."

Kanan nodded, running a hand over his hair. "So we've got a plan."

"We do…" Hera looked Kanan over. He was obviously exhausted. It wasn't just the incessant ticcing. The dark bags under his eyes were darker than usual, his skin was just a bit paler. His hair was a little disheveled when normally there wasn't a strand out of place. "Do you need any help?"

Kanan gave a stained smile. "I'm alright," he said sincerely. "Just worried about the kid," he murmured.

Well that was certainly understandable. "I'll bring some more food down later." She put a hand on his arm. "Try to get some sleep."

Kanan's smile softened slightly. "I will," he promised.

He was a shell. Worse than hollowed out. Scrapped to the very edge with a serrated, hot poker. And then stabbed for good measure.

He pulled at his collar. His feelings about it now were chaotic and disjointed. It wasn't long ago that he was adamant that he needed to keep it. The collar meant freedom. It meant being able to stay away from his master.

But none of that mattered anymore. He couldn't go back. He had nothing. All he had was…

Kanan sat down on the platform between him and the Assets. There was that warm arm around him again along with the almost pleasant buzz in his head. He was trembling as he leaned into the warmth. It felt as though electricity was dancing across his skin, except it wasn't painful or punishing. It just felt unnatural.

"So… hopefully by this time tomorrow that collar will be deactivated."

At the mention of it, he reached up to touch the hard durasteel again. Deactivated. Not removed. That's what he wanted… right?

The arm around him squeezed slightly. It would have made him panic if not for the accompanying buzz. "Ezra?"

He swallowed hard. Ezra. His name. A name he had tried to forget. A name he couldn't forget because his Asset wouldn't let him. His eyes burned, familiar echoes of betrayal circling his mind like a starving animal. He hated this. He hated her.

His fingers began to ache, but he wasn't really aware of it until a warm hand wrapped around his and pulled it away from his collar. He had been pulling on it hard.

"If it's alright with you… we can get that thing off completely," Kanan said. "Throw it in the incinerator where it belongs."

He looked down at the hand Kanan was holding. This was… so nice.

"Would you want that?"

It took a moment for him to realize Kanan was asking a question. "I… What?" he replied.

"How would you feel about just taking off that collar?"

He swallowed again. The action was so pronounced against his collar. He wasn't a part of the Inquisitorious anymore. And he already knew that no matter what he did, if his master found him, he would be as good as dead. No, worse than dead…

"... Take… Take it off…" he said. All of a sudden, it no longer felt like the key to freedom he had clung to before. It was just a piece of equipment slowly suffocating him.

"You want it off?" Kanan clarified.

"Yes!" he said desperately, pulling on it again. "Yes, please, pleasepleaseplease…!"

"Okay, okay!" He was pulled up against the warm wall that smelled of earthy musk. "That shouldn't be a problem…"

His breathing shuddered, but the panic in his chest unwinded. He was trembling, still gripping the collar tightly. He wanted to rip it off right now, but he knew he couldn't. But if what Kanan said was true, then it would be gone in just a day.

And then… and then what? Where was he supposed to go? What was he supposed to do? All he had was this Jedi but he had no idea what that meant. What was Kanan going to do with him? He was always told that the Jedi were weak, traitors to the Empire. Kanan and the rest of this crew were certainly traitors given their actions on Lothal, but he didn't seem weak. He and his Asset easily overpowered the two of them, despite the years of training.

Maybe it was just him. He was weak. He certainly felt weak. All it took was a few days with this Jedi to completely break him down. Kanan even somehow turned his own Asset into a traitor.

No, that's not true. There was a part of her that was always resistant to their master. To the Inquisitorious. It was part of the reason they got into trouble so much. Why it was so hard for him to submit like he was supposed to.

"We'll have to get you some clothes."

He flinched at Kanan's casual tone. He wanted to look up at him, convey his confusion at the statement, but he didn't think he was physically capable of looking the man in the face.

"Can't go into Hutt space in Imperial clothing," Kanan went on. "Besides, you've been in them for days now. You'll probably feel better once you get into some fresh clothes."

There was a pause, and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond. He looked down at himself, at the tight black material that covered him neck to toe. The only armor he had was a grey gorget and two small pauldrons on each shoulder, both emblazoned with the white Imperial Cog. His stomach churned uncomfortably, his gloved hands trembling as he looked down at them.

"I… could give you a shirt and some pants," Kanan offered hesitantly. "They'll be too big for you obviously, but you'll be able to get out of that uniform."

He suddenly stiffened at that. The fabric clinging to his skin suddenly felt like a barrier, a place of refuge.

"You've done well today, apprentice~" A finger trailed down his back, making him shiver. "Perhaps we should get you out of that uniform. You've earned it~"

All at once, the arm around his shoulders felt like ice. He jerked away from it, scrambling away until his back hit the wall. "N-No…" he murmured. He knew it was useless. If that's what Kanan wanted… he knew he wouldn't be able to stop him. He shouldn't even be fighting back. It would just make it so much worse.

"Hey hey, it's fine! You can keep the uniform on for now if you want!"

There was a slight pressure and an accompanying warmth on his hands. He blinked several times as he looked at the hands grasping his own. This was nice. This was fine. It helped that the buzz in his head pulled him down from his panic a little bit. He felt okay. Still sick to his stomach, still just waiting for the inevitable… but okay.

"Ezra…" That name again. Stars, it was painful to hear. "I'm not trying to force you into anything. I just thought you might want to get out of those clothes… that they might remind you of the Inquisitorious."

"I…" The syllable was choked. How could he even express what was going on in his head? He wasn't an Inquisitor. He couldn't be after what's happened. But… he didn't want to be touched like that. Not again. He thought he had escaped…

[That's not what he wants.]

He flinched violently. That voice… it was her. She was projecting her hesitation and her fear loudly through their bond.

"Shut up…" he murmured.

There was both confusion and hurt bouncing around in his head. They were conflicting beings, not fighting with one another, but pulling and pushing at Ezra from different sides.

[Ezra…]

"Ezra?"

"Stop it!" He yanked his hands back, twisting his fists in his hair so that it pulled on his scalp painfully. Every echo of that name was like a punch to his sternum. Anger and frustration began to rise up in his chest. "All you're going to do is get me into trouble again so please stop!"

There was a short stretch of silence. Then there were those same warm hands on his own. "You don't need to hurt yourself," Kanan said quietly. "And no one here is going to hurt you for using your name."

He violently yanked his hands down in frustration. "It's not my name. I-It can't be. I'm not that person anymore!"

To his surprise, Kanan gave a small chuckle. A slight shiver of anticipatory fear ran through him as he hesitantly looked up at Kanan. The older man was looking slightly to the side with a humorless smile. He seemed lost in thought.

"I know it's hard," Kanan said. "They stripped you of everything, and the idea of trying to go back seems impossible. And… that's because it is."

He blinked. That hadn't gone where he had expected.

"You and your daiima… you're never going to be what you were before you were taken. There is no undoing everything the two of you have had to suffer through. But that doesn't mean there's no way forward." Kanan turned his head and leaned slightly so he could put a hand on Nara's back. "What's past is past. You're not machines or tools, you're people."

The sentiment just sounded so wrong in his head. He didn't feel like a person. He doesn't think he ever did. There was always something wrong, something different and freakish about him.

But he had to admit, the idea was kind of nice.

"If you don't want to hear your name because it just doesn't quite fit you anymore…" Kanan gave a genuine laugh. "Then I understand. But if it's punishment you're worried about, I promise no one is going to hurt you or her just for using the name Ezra."

He flinched again, but hearing the name this time was not quite as painful. He rolled it around in his head, gently, like it was a cracked crystal. Press on it in just the right place, and it would shatter into a million pieces. "E… Ezra…" he murmured, bracing himself for pain.

But there was none. There was just that warm buzz in the back of his head that was slowly melting his icy fear.

"There, see?" His eyes flickered up to see Kanan had a small smile as he gazed down at him. "There's nothing to fear here. Little by little… You can build yourself up again, put distance between you and the Inquisitorious."

He swallowed, the presence of the collar weighing heavily on him again. It seemed like an impossible task.

Kanan slowly reached forward and put a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Why don't we just start by taking those pauldrons off?"

Ezra looked down at his shoulder, his eyes drawn to the white cog. Echoes of his purpose, of his mandate, rang in his ears.

I am Eye See Thirteen. I am a weapon. I live to serve the Empire.

His breathing shuddered and his throat convulsed as the words tried to force themselves out. How many beatings had he suffered to utter those words? How many times did his master have to rip his mind open to burn them into the very center of his being?

But even as the words tried to rip out of him, they tasted of bile at the back of his tongue. He wasn't Eye See Thirteen. He couldn't be. He couldn't serve the Empire. He was less than useless. Now the words just sounded like an empty promise. A dream of sorts that he'll never be able to achieve.

So with a heavy heart, he reached up and detached the pauldron on his right shoulder. He held it for a moment, gazing at the black durasteel and the symbol that he had fought so hard for. All of his efforts - the blood, sweat, and tears - now seemed like they had been for nothing.

That's really what he was. Nothing. 'Ezra' was just a label. Packaging.

He slowly set the pauldron aside before removing the other and placing it next to the first. Then he looked back up at Kanan who was still smiling softly at him. Whatever his future held, it was entirely in this Jedi's hands. He was just going to have to accept that.

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