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Disclaimer: I do not own MacGyver or these characters, just borrowing for free fun.
Hurt Locker
Chapter Two- All Roads Lead to Riley
Mac had read somewhere that a panoramic view was a good way to ease anxiety. But standing on the hospital's rooftop, alone with his thoughts, he felt like his anxiety had reached new heights. He had anger pent up but didn't know who to direct it at, Mason, Desi or himself. It was debilitating, thoughts of tracking down Mason and making him pay still fell second to Riley. All roads lead to Riley. Until she was okay, nothing else would matter.
She had been kidnapped before, hurt even. But he was always in the field, always knew he would get to her in time. Save her in time. Except this time, he had been too late. There was nothing he could do to save her now. That probably devastated him the most.
Matty had flew in the best doctors but that was all anyone could do.
He was on his last leg. With his entire family gone, he couldn't lose his best friend too.
Mac gripped the railing and inhaled deeply trying to calm his nerves. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he almost didn't check it. If it were news about Riley, did he really want to know?
He read the text from Bozer and his legs were moving past the restricted access sign before he even knew.
Riley is awake.
Was the nightmare over? He rushed down the stairs and snuck back into the third floor where they had moved Riley. He didn't see anyone in the waiting room so he figured they were already in to see her. He ran to her room, elation and excitement flooded his veins. He couldn't wait to hear her give him a hard time about something, anything.
He flung her room door open and completely missed the strained looks on the faces of the others and turned directly to Riley, who was trying to sit up in the bed.
Mac went to her bedside and stooped down to be at eye level with her, reaching for her hand. "Riles, how are you feeling?"
Her eyes bugged out as she dressed back away from him. He knew it the moment she recoiled from his touch. She didn't recognize him.
Mac was torn apart. He backed away from the bed and stumbled out the room. His head was spinning, thoughts rushing to fast for him to process. She was alive but…at what cost. He felt like this was his special punishment. He couldn't wrap his head around how much it hurt to look into her eyes and see nothing. No recognition, no warmth, nothing.
He heard the others shuffle out as the doctor went into her room. They looked as devastated as him. He still couldn't meet Desi's eyes. Leanna held Bozer, who was on the verge of tears and Matty had moved to a corner to make a phone call. Maybe trying to get a hold of Jack again. Jack, how was he ever going to look Jack in the eye again.
It was all his fault.
Mac didn't have words. This time he did sit. He was exhausted, he didn't realize how much because of all the worrying. That final blow had taken everything out of him and now there was nothing left.
Matty came off the phone and stood in front of them. Mac didn't really want to hear anything other than Riley was going to get better but he didn't have the energy for selective listening.
"Before we panic, let's let the doctor make his evaluation. Diane is on her way back. I would say go and get some rest but I know better, as soon as we know she's okay we will rain hellfire on Mason." Matty said through gritted teeth.
Assuming they could find him. Mason was slippery and didn't surface often. Only the best could outsmart him and Mason was definitely one of them. Avenging Riley was no longer an option, it was now his life's mission.
The minutes rolled by, Diane was the only one allowed to see Riley while she was in with the doctor. Bozer sat next to Mac but didn't say anything. They were trying to lend their support to each other but Mac didn't know if he had any left to give.
He wasn't sure how long it was before the doctor exited the room, clipboard in hand. Mac was the first out of his chair, like it would help his hearing somehow.
Dr. Hilary waved Matty over and Mac couldn't get a read on her face. He didn't know if to brace himself for worst news or not.
"First of all, I need you to understand that this is not the worst-case scenario. Ms. Davis has retrograde amnesia which, unlike antegrade amnesia means she will be able to form new memories. It's already a good thing."
It could be worst was the opening line. Mac was not liking where this was going.
"Her procedural and semantic memory are intact," the doctor continued. Normally Mac would translate for the others but he was too drained. Bozer's face alone told the doctor she needed to elaborate.
"Semantic memory is remembering facts. Like the names of objects, colours, past presidents."
Riley would still be able to hack Mac thought. Though he didn't think he ever wanted back to work. Not for a long time. Not ever really.
"Procedural memory is remembering how to sign your name, ride a bike, or even drive a car. The problem is with her episodic memory. Remembering events you've experienced. For Ms. Davis, the last five years is more than a bit hazy."
"Hazy? She doesn't even recognize us," Bozer blurted out. He was the first to voice his frustration though it wasn't really intended for the doctor.
Mac stiffened as he said, "What are the chances she regains that memory?"
The doctor sighed. "Honestly, is about fifty/fifty. Some people do and some people don't. I would say, it would help her to engage with as many familiar situations as possible. For whatever it's worth, I told Ms. Davis and her mother that if you are what is familiar to her then it would help to be around you." Her pager went off and she excused herself before giving her regards to Matty.
Fifty/fifty? That was it? Mac dropped back into his chair. Was the Riley in that room even his Riley? A lot had happened in five years. The girl he fished out of jail was not the girl who had grown into his best friend.
Riley was having a bad day, to put it lightly. Finding out she was missing roughly five years of memories was frightening. What had she been up to? Who had she been up to? The questions kept surfacing but every time she tried to fill in answer, she got a headache.
She figured she would wake up from this nightmare but she never did. This was real life. Her life. If not for the constant flux of people in and out of her hospital room she would have broken into a puddle of tears.
The strangers in her room made more sense now. Her mother had confirmed she worked with them, they were supposedly good friends. She had been told their names but she had already forgotten who was who. They all looked like someone rolled over their puppies. Especially the blonde, it had probably been an hour since she 'met' him but he had left an indelible impression in her mind. Only after he had stumbled out of the room did she realize she felt a pull toward him. She wanted him to come back. If only to figure out what it was about him…
"Riley are you listening to me?" Diane said, drawing her attention.
"I heard you but I won't stand for it. You're not taking more time off work. You heard the doctor, I will be fine."
Diane's face creased even deeper, "|She said physically your wounds will heal Riley. What about emotionally?"
Riley eased her way up to a sitting position.
"I have to get back to my routine, you heard the doctor, familiarity."
Diane didn't back down, "you don't even know what your routine is,"
That was actually a good point. Riley didn't have quip for that.
"I may not, but they might," She would take the 'strangers' over the hovering, smothering mother any day.
Diane sighed and disappeared out the door. She returned a minute later with the woman who had introduced herself as Mathilda earlier, and the blonde was back. He was fidgety, looked tired as hell.
She realized it was probably because of her accident. These people must really care for her.
"Could you two please talk some sense into her," Diane started with a deep sigh. Riley mustered the remnant of energy she had to roll her eyes. She didn't miss the small smirk the blonde gave her.
"She wants to get back to a routine she doesn't even know she has. I suggest she come live with me. Get away from her work." Diane said pointedly. She exchanged pressing looks with Mathilda and the blonde.
"She should just stay with me," she heard the blonde say. He continued, "it's where she spent most of her time anyway. If she has any chances of regaining her memory, it will be with us—with me."
It wasn't the answer her mother wanted to hear. Her frown etched deeper into her skin and her eyes filled with worry. Mathilda then pulled her to the corner of the room for a private chat. It left her with the blonde who still shot her worried glances every three seconds.
She wanted to say something to him but she didn't know what. What was there to say really? There was no amnesia handbook.
"Don't worry Riles, you're going to remember." His words surprised her, the tenderness he said 'Riles' with made her want to record it and play it on repeat.
"I'm sorry, what was your name again?"
His face straightened in a grim line. He swallowed slowly, his Adam's apple jotting out, before he said, "It's Angus MacGyver."
The name really didn't sound like a real name but he was dead serious.
At loss for words she nodded with a polite smile. She felt the need to be well-mannered around him. But that was all she could give him. She couldn't reciprocate his tenderness, there was nothing to draw from.
When her mom and Mathilda emerged from the corner, Diane seemed to have relinquished her smother mantle. Clearly Mathilda was a convincing woman.
Riley was eager to get some alone to time, only then would she really be able to fully process everything that had happened. The rest of the night was filled with doctors and nurses updating her about her condition. She still had some fractured bones from the fall but they weren't anything to worry about it in comparison to her head injury. She learned she wouldn't be able to be discharged for two weeks. What upset her more than being stuck in a hospital was that she didn't know what the hospital was keeping her from. What life she did have to live?
All they told her was that she was working 'tech support' for an important branch of the government. They also referred to her fall as an accident but no one could meet her eye when they said so.
The moment she got out of the hospital she was going to find out what happened to her.
The nurses finally left and Riley was thankful for the solitude but it is short-lived as her colleagues come to say their final goodbyes. She didn't mean to be dismissive but after the day she's had, can they really blame her for her lack of social skills?
As everyone walked out into the night air, Mac knew he could no longer avoid Desi. Matty was the first to leave but Leanna and Bozer lingered near their SUV talking softly to each other.
"Can we talk?" Desi said behind him. He nodded as he faced her.
"It's been some kind of day…"
"Maybe it's time we let each other go Desi," he spoke with such finality it was more of a statement than a question.
She braced herself with a tough face even though he could see through the cracks when she blinked.
"If that's what you want," she folded her arms.
"What I want?" he blinked back tears, "Riley is sitting up there with no memory of the last five years because of us. We need to stop this Desi, we're not good for each other…or anyone for that matter." he said.
Desi's crack became more apparent now. "She's going to be okay Mac. And when she is and you'll feel differently,but it'll be too late." She stalked away to the SVU parked across the lot.
As she drove away Mac felt the entire day crashing over him like outer space pressure.
His shoulders sagged and tears ran freely. Complete exhaustion paralyzed him. He barely registered Bozer calling for him until he was right in front of him.
"Are you okay?"
Mac shook his head. "No," with that one syllable he dropped his head onto Bozer's shoulder and wept. He wept for his dead relationship. He wept for himself. But most of all, he wept for his friend Riley.