I do not own Star Wars in any capacity.

Hey look I updated!

Sorry for the delay, a lot going on in my life.

I've also taken some advice from a friend and am going to try and keep my chapters shorter, as I'm sure everyone's attention span is basically fried at the moment.

Enjoy Chapter 15!

Numb wasn't really the right word for what he was feeling. Blank? Confused? Lost? None of them really felt right.

Taking small bites of vegmeat gave Ezra something to do. The sensation of his teeth going through the greenish, tasteless block was the most coherent sensation he could process right now. Well, beyond his Asset being curled up on his lap, one of his hands slowly stroking her fur.

The way Kanan and Nara had fought the Purge Trooper… It was so familiar. The red blade aside, cold rage had flooded the Force as Kanan beat back the trooper's electrohammer. And when the ship flew in overhead, the giant lothwolf leaping from the ramp and sinking her teeth into the trooper's arm…

After that, the Purge Trooper's death had been swift. She and Ezra had been frozen in place as they watched it all go down, terror filling their senses.

They had failed. They had failed, their master had to intervene and now they were going to be punished …

It was unclear what happened next. But the next thing Ezra knew, he was standing in the ship's loading dock, his Asset gripped tightly in his arms. That was going to get him in even more trouble, but she was trembling, and he just could not put her down.

And now he was sitting here in the cargo bay. All they could do now was wait. Oddly enough, he wasn't afraid like he had been before. He felt a strange sort of acceptance for whatever happened next. Even though he was confused, he also felt like he was falling back into a familiar routine.

Kanan wasn't a Jedi. But if he wasn't a Jedi…

Did that mean he used to be an Inquisitor?

His eyes - or eye - wasn't yellow or red like most Inquisitors. Although not all of them had such eyes. But now that he thought back on these last days, the way Kanan and Nara spoke and acted, the bits Ezra had sensed from Kanan during certain conversations… It made sense. Had Kanan escaped? Is that why they were trying so hard to get him to abandon the Empire? Because they had done the same… and lived.

The cargo bay door opened, and Kanan walked in with Nara close behind him. Ezra swallowed down the bit of vegmeat he had in his mouth, setting the rest of it aside before sitting up straight. He was determined to accept whatever discipline Kanan had in mind for him.

[You don't really think they'll hurt us, do you…?]

Ezra shoved her aside in his mind. She was still in his lap, but they really should keep their mental connection to a minimum. She let out an audible whimper, her claws gripping at his pants in agitation. But Ezra was firm on this. This was only proper. He wasn't willing to let her go, but some distance was necessary.

Kanan and Nara walked up to them. "We… need to talk about what happened," Kanan stated.

Ezra's stomach flipped as he nodded slowly. He wondered what kind of punishment someone like Kanan would implement. In the past when he had failed to subdue a Purge Trooper, his old master would simply let the trooper beat him until he was nearly unconscious. Then he'd be minimally patched up before being forced to face a new trooper. Obviously that wasn't really an option here.

Nara stepped up and sat in front of them while Kanan pulled his shoulders back and crossed his arms. Despite knowing that they had earned this, Ezra couldn't keep his body from trembling. All of a sudden, he was finding it difficult to get his eyesight to focus properly.

"I'm sure you have questions," Kanan said slowly. "First thing's first… are either of you injured?"

He shook his head. No… No, they failed to subdue the Purge Trooper and they didn't even get hurt. When had they gotten so weak?

Kanan sighed, kneeling down so he was eye level with Ezra. "Look," he said quietly. "I'm not gonna hurt you, alright?"

Ezra couldn't help but gape at Kanan incredulously. "B-But… we failed."

Kanan frowned, his eyes slanting slightly in confusion. "Failed? Failed to do what?"

"I-I should be better at this, I was better!" Ezra practically snarled, suddenly furious with himself. "I haven't been defeated by a lowly Purge Trooper in years!" If the Seventh Sister had seen him defeated so easily, she would have flayed him alive.

"Hey!" Kanan snapped. "It's fine. No one was hurt. We got away."

Ezra swallowed hard, squeezing his daiima tightly to his chest. "What was he doing there…?" he murmured. He thought back over the trooper's words. He wanted to kill Ezra. Not him specifically, but because he was an Inquisitor. A defector?

A defector like Kanan?

He focused back on Kanan (or at least tried to focus, his vision was still fluctuating). Ezra had never heard of an Inquisitor successfully defecting. Anyone who tried to leave or fight back was caught and tortured to death. Ezra and his daiima had been forced to watch one such execution. Did Kanan and Nara just get lucky? Ezra couldn't imagine the Inquisitorious just letting them go.

Unless they faked their deaths. He knew there had been some incident a few years before Ezra had been recruited. Jedi had infiltrated and destroyed their facilities, killing scores of Purge Troopers along with a couple Inquisitors. It would have been a good cover for escape.

Ezra's vision drifted. When he forced them to focus again, he was staring at Kanan's saber. He was still holding on to it tightly. It looked nothing like an Inquisitor's lightsaber. It was a single hilt. Only one blade.

Kanan sighed, glancing down to where Ezra was looking. "Told you I'm not a Jedi," he said with a hint of mirth.

Ezra nodded slowly. "Y-You were an Inquisitor."

For a moment, Kanan only stared at Ezra. Then his eyes went a little distant as he gave a small shake of the head. "No. I've never been an Inquisitor."

What? How was that possible? The entire scenario Ezra had just thought up dissolved into ash. Unless Kanan was lying. But he didn't seem like he was lying. Usually Ezra couldn't really tell if someone was being truthful, but the Force was always unnervingly clear when it came to Kanan. And right now, the Force was saying that Kanan was telling the truth.

But if that was the case… "Th-Then… w-what are you?"

Kanan gave a half smile. "I'm nothing, Ezra."

That wasn't an answer, but Ezra was really in no position to push further. Obviously Kanan wasn't going to give him a real answer. Besides… wasn't Ezra the same? A non-entity with just these labels and shells to be slipped on and off.

"We've never lied to you," Kanan went on. "I meant what I said before. We're not going to hurt you."

"We want to help you," Nara said. "We know someplace safe we can go. It's away from the Empire, away from the Inquisitorious… A place we can lay low and recover."

That didn't make any sense. "I-I'm not injured…"

Kanan and Nara glanced at one another. "Maybe not physically," Nara said. "But your connection with the Little One, everything that's been done to the both of you…"

"We might not have been Inquisitors," Kanan said. "But we know what it's like to be ripped apart and stripped of everything. Like we said before, there may be no going back, but there is always a way forward. You can still build yourselves up to be someone new. It's what we did… and we can help you do it too."

Kanan had said something like that before, but it still felt like an empty offer. Why would Kanan and Nara want to waste more time on them? Before it had been a necessity. They had to deactivate his collar to make sure it didn't lead Inquisitorious back to this ship. Going to Kaadak had not only cost them thousands of credits, they attracted a Purge Trooper which put them all in danger…

Maybe this was part of that. Kanan and Nara were going to take them some place where they could freely mold her and Ezra into whatever they deemed necessary. They owed them, and this is how they would pay them back: giving over their lives and submitting to whatever Kanan and Nara willed.

It made sense, reorienting Ezra and making things seem a bit more clear.

Kanan let out a small sigh, uncrossing his arms. "It'll take a couple days to reach our safe haven. And maybe an additional day to scan the planet and make sure it's still safe. So in the meantime, I want to get a better idea of your training. Of your connection with the Force and with your daiima."

At the word 'training', a million memories of darkness and pain ran through Ezra's head. There was that bone deep cold that he had learned to always seek out, else give his master even more reason to make him suffer…

"Ezra."

That comforting buzz was back, blurring out the memories and slowly leeching away the cold from his muscles. He blinked a couple times and saw that Kanan was right in front of him now, a hand on his shoulder. Strangely enough, Ezra found that he wasn't afraid of the proximity. Whatever Kanan needed to do to him, he would accept it.

"We're not going to… do anything," Kanan said. "Right now, we're just going to talk. Maybe meditate at most. And if it gets to be too much, we'll stop. Okay?"

"Okay…" Ezra replied automatically and without understanding.

Kanan's gaze slid down to his daiima. "We want to hear from both of you."

Ezra could feel her claws digging into his leg again as apprehension rolled off her in waves. It was strange for Ezra too. It was like Kanan was talking to him… except he wasn't. Neither of them were used to being anything but 'Ezra' or 'Thirteen'.

"How long were you two with the Inquisitorious?"

Ezra rubbed at his neck, trying to figure out how to even answer. He rubbed out the muscles and scar tissue that had been compressed for so long, again feeling so relieved that the collar was gone now. And with it, any chance of returning to the Inquisitorious in one piece.

[The fifteenth Empire Day just passed…] she gently reminded him.

It was a push to get him to acknowledge what was past, what was strictly forbidden. But this man, his new master, was demanding answers. And so like pushing a vibroblade between ribs, Ezra let out a shuddered sigh as he embraced the simple fact of his birth. "I'm… I'm fifteen…" he whispered.

Kanan nodded slowly. "And do you know how old you were when you were taken?"

"Hey, they've got a kid."

Ezra screamed as the trooper grabbed him by the ankle and dragged him out from under his bed. Ezra clawed at the ground and kicked his legs to try and break free, but the trooper was too strong, all he managed to do was peel back a fingernail that caught along the floor. But it didn't hurt. Not when he was surrounded by flashing bright lights and large hands grasping painfully at him.

As he was dragged out of his bedroom, his parents frantic and angry voices became louder and clearer. Ezra managed to get a glimpse of them between the swarm of white plasteel. They both had their arms pulled back behind them and secured with cuffs, being led outside by pairs of troopers despite their struggling.

"MOM! DAD!" Ezra screamed, trying to reach for them.

His parents strained to turn their heads back. "No! You can't!" his mother yelled as they were pushed out into the street. "Ezra! EZRA!"

As the troopers dragged Ezra towards his parents, the ever present pressure in his heart began to swell into breathtaking pain. Ezra let out a strangled cry, his struggles renewed as he tried not just to escape but to relieve whatever it was that was yanking on his chest.

He was carried to the threshold, and suddenly the pain became blinding. Every muscle in his body tensed and twisted in agony as he felt his heart slowly being ripped from his chest through his spine.

Then there was a loud clatter, and the troopers suddenly dropped Ezra to the ground. He was gasping between harsh sobs as he scrambled back into the house, anything to make the pain stop. Then he collapsed to the ground with wheezing pants, still disoriented by the horrible pain that had been ripping through him just moments earlier.

[Bright loud bright bright bright…!]

"What is that ?"

Ezra weakly lifted his head, blinking through tears.

[I can… see?]

Confusion echoed every corner of Ezra's mind. His and… hers?

On the floor, at the far side of the living room, was an open container on its side. And lying beside it was a dark red… slug? The troopers were all expressing their disgust at the sight, but Ezra could only stare in sick wonder.

The slug wiggled slightly, her head lifting slightly towards Ezra. Ezra's heart was pounding hard in his chest as he felt his eyes begin to burn. It was without conscious thought that he crawled towards her, beckoned by some powerful yearning to just hold her.

He scooped her up from the ground, and all at once, the chaos and horror around them didn't matter. It all fell away into nothingness. In that moment, the ever present aching pull in his chest was suddenly gone, and he actually felt whole.

It would be the first - and last - time he ever felt at peace.

A small whimper pulled Ezra back to the present. She had her face pressed against his stomach, and a fine tremor ran through her body. He kneaded his fingers into her fur, finding it oddly calming.

"... S-Seven," Ezra finally murmured. The word peeled open a small window, bits and pieces of his past beginning to whisper around the edges of his mind.

Kanan let out a low growl. "Alright," he said softly. "And have you spent all these years with your master?"

Ezra shook his head, swallowing hard as a shiver ran down his back. "I don't know how long I was with her…" Too long.

Nara inched a little closer, lifting her snout towards his daiima. "Little One, do you wanna say anything?"

Her claws dug into Ezra's legs, and Ezra squeezed his hands around her body. "She can't."

"I promise, no one here is going to hurt either of you if she speaks up…"

"No, she can't. She's never spoken." Ezra had never seen another Asset - daiima, whatever - speak aloud before.

Well that wasn't completely true. When they were first brought to Arkanis, sometimes they could hear the other animals, the other kids' Assets, whispering softly with them. But as the days and weeks went by, the Purge Troopers beat it out of them until their Assets were silent and submissive. It was the one thing Ezra's Asset had always been ahead of the curve on. The one thing they were good at.

"Well, that's something we can work on," Kanan said. "You're no different than Nara," he said to her. "Soon enough, you'll even have a name," he said with a small smile.

A name. On one hand it seemed unnecessary. Why did she need one? She was just… her. His conscience. On the other hand, a name for her did seem kind of nice.

[What… what kind of name do you want?]

She lifted her head slightly to look up at him with surprise. Ezra knew it was because he had initiated this conversation, which was strange for him as well. He hasn't been able to have a proper exchange with her since back when she was just a voice in his head.

[I… I don't know] she replied meekly. [I don't see why it matters]

Ezra didn't either. Frankly, none of this made sense, but this is what their master wanted. What other choice did they have but to obey and comply?

"Do you have any questions for us?"

Ezra looked up at Kanan. Immediately, several questions popped into his head. Some he's held since the beginning, some that were constantly morphing as he learned more about Kanan and Nara.

But right now, he didn't have the energy or willpower to bring them up. He wasn't sure he could bear to hear the answers. So he shook his head.

"In that case, while we wait for dinner…" Kanan rearranged himself so he was sitting back on his heels, his shoulders pulled back so he was sitting up straight. "Why don't we do a bit of meditation?"

"W-What's that?"

"Hmm…" Kanan frowned slightly, slapping the top of his thigh. "It's how we can connect more strongly to the Force. Not just to the Force, but to our daiima." He looked at Nara. "Our bond and our tether… That is, if it's there."

Ezra looked between Kanan and Nara, reminded of the fact that they were not tethered together. The thought made Ezra feel sick. He held his daiima just a bit tighter. It was quite literally unthinkable.

"Basically, sit quietly, close your eyes, and breathe evenly." Kanan let out a soft sigh as he closed his eyes to demonstrate. "Find your center and focus on the Force."

Ezra didn't know what that meant, but the first part was doable. He closed his eyes and… breathed.

Not much happened. He squirmed a bit, compulsively petting his daiima. It was kind of nice. Quiet and calming… So many threads and bonds circling around all of them in the cargo bay. His anxiety and confusion were intertwined with hers through their bond, and the tether that bound them together was as strong as twisted durasteel.

What was perhaps a bit more frightening were the other threads floating around. For the first time, they could see the bonds connecting her with Nara and Ezra to Kanan. They didn't even know that was possible. Bonds were just things connecting Force users to their Assets (daiima). It explained why Ezra could so easily sense Kanan's emotions, but it was baffling. Why were they connected? What did it mean?

But perhaps most terrifying was the yawning gap between Kanan and Nara. Their bond was still there, but their tether… Well, it wasn't gone. It had been broken. Shredded. The frayed threads of either end were hot and angry, writhing in agony as they reached for one another over a dark void of nothingness. As the ends of the threads approached the void, they were slowed, stretched out, and destroyed. It was… the most frightening and incomprehensible thing she and Ezra had ever seen. In their minds, they cowered from the eldritch monstrosity, but at the same time, they felt a horrible need to try and yank each end of the tether together and somehow fix this abomination.

How could anyone live like that?

There was a soft chuckle, and Ezra opened his eyes. Kanan hadn't moved, his eyes still closed, but he was donning a half smile. "I know," Kanan said quietly, his voice hollow. "I know."

Ezra spent a moment just observing the Jed-... his master. He really knew nothing about this man. All his initial assumptions had all been proven to be wrong. He had this calm and almost stoic demeanor, but it was a veneer. Beneath it was a chaotic storm. He fought with his rage, Ezra had felt the cold hatred back on Nar Shaddaa. But his actions, the calming warm buzz that Ezra associated with him… it was like nothing Ezra had experienced before.

Some more rational part of his mind reasoned that he should be terrified of this man and his daiima. They had drained their resources and funds for Ezra… They had every reason - not to mention the means and rage necessary - to rip whatever sense of self Ezra had remaining and build him up as per their desires.

But a part of Ezra didn't mind. Bizarrely, if anyone was going to be his master… he wanted it to be someone like Kanan.

And he wasn't sure how to feel about that.

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