Hurt Locker
Chapter Six- Tender Mending
Riley sat on the bathroom counter, legs dangling off, while Mac cleaned her wound with an antiseptic. The adrenaline had left her system and she could now feel everything. The antiseptic stung making her wiggle her hand. He had suggested stitches would be more effective but she had protested. Mac flashed her a sympathetic look and began applying less pressure.
He was patient and gentle. It made her thaw out in his presence.
She wondered if they met under different circumstances if they would mean something different to each other. Although she's not completely convinced that wasn't already the case. The ease her body felt near him, that was like a built-in tool in her default settings.
As he worked on her hand, she slumped back against the mirror. She was tired. The day was a lot. A different pace from laying in bed all day, coupled with the fasting, she could barely keep upright.
She wanted to sleep. Needed to sleep. But she knew the flashes would come. Flashes she didn't really have context for. Images she couldn't control of high intensity-high adrenaline situations. Fight or flight scenarios that her body couldn't detect as just memories. When would it end?
When the wound was clean Mac patted it dry.
The first aid kit was opened on the counter next to her as he dug into it for gauze and an extra-large band aid.
He hadn't been this close to her in a while. He missed her. She smelled and felt so much like the Riley he knew. But she wasn't like her in so many other ways.
He couldn't verbalize hot it felt watching her bleed onto the kitchen floor. It was so frustrating being on the outside looking in. He didn't have a clue what she was going through or what was in her head. He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say she had snapped. He couldn't be sure anything he said wouldn't make her worst.
He peeled the paper off the adhesive side of the extra-large band aid and placed it over the gash on her hand.
"There," he said.
"Thank you," she said softly.
She moved to get off the counter but a dizzy spell made her sway. Mac was instantly on alert to catch her, he watched her eyes roll to the back of her head and she went limp. It made her collapse into his waiting arms. Mac held Riley's unconscious body in his arms and rushed her to her bedroom.
He checked her pulse and found it weak. Her skin was also too cool to the touch.
After laying her down, he rushed to get some smelling salts and when they didn't work, he whipped up an IV bag with homemade saline and attaches it to her arm. After a few minutes he feels her pulses again as it slowly climbs back to normal. She's still passed out so he drags a chair to her bedside, sits and waits.
How was he was supposed to leave her tomorrow? Matty had forced his hand. She was down two of her best and she needed him back in the field.
What if something happened to her when he was gone. How would he look her mother in the eye? How could he live with himself?
But what choice did he have? He would feel a lot better for Riley's safety and the worlds safety if Mason wasn't out on the loose. He had to go back.
Riley was in the dark room again. She was clawing for the gun but he was too strong and overpowered her. He was on top of her and fighting for the gun. There was a loud pop and she shot awake screaming.
She couldn't get her bearings, she had a headache and her arm was sore and there was a fucking needle in her arm. She looked up and saw Mac moving to sit on the edge of her of her bed.
"You're okay. You're safe. I have you." He scooped her up and cradled her like a child. She relaxed against his chest, giving in to the creeping darkness once again.
When Riley wakes again, Mac was still sitting at her bedside. She couldn't tell if he were awake or not in the dark room. From the outline of his body she could make out his head was tilted down. She couldn't believe she had slept. How had she slept? Had the exhaustion finally caught up to her? Or had Mac stayed by her side like a knight, fighting off her nightmares?
"You're awake," she jumped when she heard her his voice. Like he sensed she had been thinking about him. She tried to sit up on her own and found she had more strength than the last time she was awake. The IV had also been removed from her hand. Mac leaned forward and put on the bedside lamp casting an orange glow around them.
"You stayed here all night?" she said.
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm okay. Go get some sleep."
He looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand and shook his head.
"I have to leave in about two hours or so, wouldn't make sense to go to bed now." he said.
"Leaving?" she tried to keep the panic from her tone.
"Yeah. I have to. I wish I didn't have to but I do. Don't worry you're completely safe. The security system is finished, and Mason is long gone. But we're going to find. Don't worry." he said.
She propped herself up against the headboard. She was just getting used to him being around, and now he was leaving. She knew from the files she looked through on her rig that missions weren't always one day affairs. She wanted to beg him to stay but her throat was dry and scratchy. She reached for the glass of water on the nightstand. He really did think of everything. She downed the entire thing and thankfully her throat felt better.
"Can I ask you something?" she said.
"Anything," he moved to sit on her bed. She wanted to reach for his warm but would have to make due with just resting her hand near his.
"With your line of work…with our line of work I mean…how often do we kill?"
"Riles…"
"Answer me I can take it." She braced herself for the worst but that was taking up too much energy of which she didn't have a ton of at the moment.
"Only if someone's life is in danger." he said. "You wouldn't kill someone maliciously. None of us would."
She had to believe him. Needed to. She just hoped her memories would support his words and not contradict it.
"I just don't want to remember anymore." she said, she could feel her eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Her body was claiming as much sleep as it could get.
He cradled her face with his hand. It warmed her face and assured her chased away her anxiety. "Go back to sleep. I'll be right here." She heard him whisper before she slipped right back into the darkness.
Mac watched her sleep for another hour or so. The nightmares seemed to be a bay for now. He knew he had to get up and get ready for work but it was so hard to get up from her bedside.
She looked peaceful now, a contrast to the anguish she had been going through earlier in the night. He had no idea her insomnia was due to terrible nightmares. He would never forget the sound of her screaming herself awake.
He now understood some of what she was going through. He had assumed only the good memories were returning but it seemed that was the opposite. He couldn't fathom what that would be like, seeing yourself in traumatic situations and not knowing how you got there or why it was happening. It made him want to gather her up in his arms and not let go until they passed.
He stood from the chair as quietly as possible. She was fidgeting in her sleep but it didn't seem like a nightmare. He had to go. He turned on his heels to leave when he heard it. His name. He thought he had woken her up but when he spun around, she was still sound asleep.
"Mac…" barely above a whisper. His name escaped her lips. Mac was stunned to say the least. The name she had been saying in her sleep this whole time was his? Wait…what?