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Enjoy chapter 16!

Sabine was leaning back against the wall as Chopper rolled back and forth. He was muttering about unnecessary testing and stupid distractions for the organics… Sabine was inclined to agree. Hera sent her away with a flimsy excuse like a child. Sabine probably should have pushed back, but she knew she had been outflanked. Obviously no one was going to give her the answers she wanted. So she just had to stay here and stew in her frustration.

On one hand, she wasn't exactly in a position to judge. She had worked so hard to try and get an in with Black Sun. Honestly, she would probably be working for them now if Ketsu hadn't betrayed her, put her on a path that crossed with the Ghost's…

But Crimson Dawn was another story. Sure, Black Sun had worked for the Empire in the past, usually to carry out their dirtier work. It was still better than what she had been doing at the Academy. But Crimson Dawn had its roots as violent marauders. They wandered from planet to planet, stripping them of their resources, raping and pillaging their local populations… Nowadays they weren't much better, they just had more power and structure. Even the Empire seemed wary to go up against them directly.

Kaadak had good reason to be in deep hiding if she had indeed left Crimson Dawn. If the syndicate found her, she would be lucky if she was only killed.

But that wasn't any of Sabine's business. What she was concerned about was Kanan's connection to Crimson Dawn. She didn't care what he or Nara said, they obviously had some sort of personal connection with the syndicate. While the connection alone was disturbing, what was more unsettling was that Kanan had hidden this from them. Even Hera had seemed surprised by the revelation.

What was Kanan hiding, and why was he hiding it?

There was the clanging of boots on durasteel, and Sabine looked over to see Hera walking into the engine room. "How's it going?" she asked.

Sabine stood up straight, crossing her arms. "You can't tell me you're okay with this?"

Hera waved a hand out, as if trying to calm her. "Sabine, we don't have the whole picture…"

"We? As in, not even you?"

"You know Kanan would never put us in danger."

"How can I possibly know that?! If he hasn't even told you about this…!"

"He's told me enough," Hera said firmly. Then she let out a small sigh. "I trust him."

"How? I mean, I get that we don't owe each other every detail of our life stories, but hiding something this serious…? How can you possibly trust him?"

"Trust isn't about knowing everything. It's about having faith, even when you don't have all the facts." Hera stepped up to her, putting her hands on Sabine's shoulders and looking her straight in the eye. "Sometimes… we're safer not knowing."

That didn't make Sabine feel better. In fact, it just made her even more apprehensive. What could Kanan be hiding that was so dangerous? At least she understood why Fulcrum was shrouded in secrecy. She didn't like it, but accepted that a certain level of distance was necessary to protect the contact. But Kanan lived with them, knew them…

What could possibly be so dangerous that he wouldn't even tell Hera?

"Right now, we're headed towards a safe haven, a place Kanan and Nara trust. They're going to spend some time there with Ezra and his daiima, help them recover."

"That sounds great and all, but that's a pretty lofty goal. The kid is completely kriffed in the head, and Kanan thinks he can just hide away and fix him?!"

Hera pressed her lips together in a tight line, and that was when Sabine realized that Hera actually agreed with what she was saying. Hera wasn't any happier about Kanan taking the kid and running away either.

"I trust Kanan," Hera repeated quietly. "And given the circumstances, if anyone can help that boy and his daiima… it's Kanan and Nara."

Sabine's stomach squirmed uncomfortably at Hera's apparent sincerity. Hera has known Kanan for years now, and even she was wary about all of this. The very ground Sabine was standing on suddenly felt unstable and slippery. "So… that's it? Kanan is just gonna take the kid and leave?"

Hera nodded. "It won't be forever. We just… have no other recourse. There is nowhere we can take Ezra where he'd be safe. As far as we know, his parents are gone. And with no Jedi Order, there's no place safe for Force sensitives right now."

It was just all too simple. And Hera was too okay with this. "And how is this supposed 'safe haven' going to be any better than the Ghost which can literally scramble its own signature?"

"The Ghost might be able to scramble its signature, but we're going to need to take some jobs in the not too distant future. Paying Kaadak wiped out our coffers. And after what just happened on Nar Shaddaa… Kanan is going to need to lay low for a bit. At least until things blow over."

Which brought them back to Kanan's mysterious connection with Crimson Dawn, which made Sabine even more twitchy. "I want to talk to Kanan."

"And you'll get your chance to. Right now he's with Ezra, but I told him specifically to make some time." Hera gave a small sigh. "It's not that he wants to keep us in the dark. He just feels he has no choice."

Sabine just bit her lip and nodded. She would reserve her judgement for after she got a chance to grill Kanan, but it was hard to imagine what could possibly quell her anxiety. Whatever Kanan was hiding, it was obviously dangerous. But if that was the case, shouldn't she be all on board for Kanan putting some distance between himself and the Ghost for a while? Hell, he was even taking the (ex?) Imperial agent with him.

It felt as if everything around her was crumbling, and she was beginning to wonder if she hadn't been surrounded by rubble from the beginning.

"I'm going to try and whip up some fresh food," Hera said. "I think it's time we all try to have a proper meal together again."

"Um, I'm sorry, you're gonna whip up some food?" Sabine scoffed, putting the tools away. "Oh no. Chopper can finish up these so-called 'diagnostics'. If Kanan's not cooking, I'm taking over."

Hera chuckled. "Fair enough. I'll stay down here with Chop. Despite appearances, these diagnostics do need to get done."

Sabine kept herself from rolling her eyes as she went up to the mess. Even if the diagnostics technically needed to get done, she knew Hera had still used them as a distraction. Whatever. Cooking was an infinitely better one at this point. Especially since it meant she wouldn't have to choke down Hera's attempt at 'cooking'.

They didn't have much for fresh ingredients at the moment. Their only protein was in powder or bar form and the only vegetable was some wrinkled up Chando peppers. Sabine looked through all the half empty containers of herbs, flavorings, and oils. She could probably make a halfway decent soup with what was here. She hummed, looking between the protein powder and the meal bars. Which would taste less weird with goro paste and parso flakes?

Making a decision, Sabine put the bars away and turned on the small stove before beginning to prep all the ingredients.

She let herself get lost in the process of cooking. It was a welcome mental break from the chaos of this last week. Everything was just a little bit too much right now, and she wanted to be in a clearer headspace for when she did actually try to get things straightened out with Kanan.

She was about to let the soup simmer when the galley door hissed open. Looking over her shoulder, her stomach squirmed as she watched Kanan step in. She quickly looked back at the soup, stirring it more than was necessary. She hated that Kanan felt like a stranger to her right now.

Kanan stepped up beside her, although he stayed an arm's length away. "Smells good," he noted.

"It's the goro paste," she pointed out flatly.

Kanan gave a soft sigh. "I understand you're upset."

"Gee, what gave you that idea?" Sabine bit back, rolling her eyes.

There wasn't an immediate response besides the tapping of Kanan's fingers against his arm. "You're not wrong," he finally said. "I have… had dealings with Crimson Dawn in the past."

Sabine stopped stirring at that, slowly removing the spoon and placing the lid on the pot. She still didn't turn to look at him. Her heart was pounding in her chest. "Why have you never told us?"

"Because it never came up. And it was never important."

"How is it not important?" Sabine abruptly turned and looked up at him earnestly. "You said it yourself, Crimson Dawn doesn't just let their people leave. You don't think it's important for us to know so we don't accidentally tip Crimson Dawn off to your whereabouts?"

"Ideally, we would never take any jobs that could link back to Crimson Dawn."

"And yet…" Sabine said pointedly.

Kanan gave a low growl before rubbing a hand over his mouth, like he was trying to unmake the sound. "Well, now you know."

Sabine's mind was grinding a thousand parsecs a minute, trying to imagine Kanan being involved with the syndicate. Why would Kanan lower himself to work for such horrible people?

Of course, was she really one to talk?

Sabine sighed, checking the soup to make sure it wasn't too hot as it simmered. "Hera says you're taking the kid and leaving."

"It won't be forever."

"You're still leaving."

"It's for the best," Kanan said. "After the mess we've left on Nar Shaddaa, the safest thing to do for everyone is to put some space between ourselves and the Ghost. You and Hera can keep working, earn back the credits we just spent. And I… Nara and I will be with Ezra and his daiima."

Sabine nodded slowly. "Do you really think you can help him?"

Kanan hit his thigh with his fist. "Yeah… I do."

Sabine sighed. "Okay." She turned off the heat to the soup. "Dinner's ready."

Kanan smiled, stepping closer and putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. Sabine glanced up at him and gave a small smile back, feeling a bit more at ease. She didn't have all the answers she wanted, but the ground beneath her felt a bit more solid again. This was the same man she knew and trusted. Kanan didn't lie or try to make excuses… He had just talked to her.

Things were going to figure this out. It might not be a straightforward road, but they would be okay.

The next few days as they flew to Denova were agonizingly long. Kanan and Nara focused on preparing for their stay and trying to get Ezra and the Little One to open up. The latter was, unsurprisingly, extremely difficult. They might have rejected their Inquisitor identity, but that didn't erase the years of training and brainwashing. The Little One was just so submissive, and Ezra still had a habit of lashing out at her.

Kanan was already exhausted, and they had barely started.

A nice change was that everyone was eating dinner together now. The first night had been a bit tense. Sabine might have been mollified by her talk with Kanan, but she was still upset with the secrets. And on top of that, Ezra and his daiima had been overwhelmed by the close quarters of the galley. The Little One hid under the table, curled up between his feet, and Ezra just kept his head down and slowly stirred his soup around.

But Kanan wanted Ezra to spend much time with other people before they got situated on Denova. Ezra certainly would have never been able to socialize with other people properly under the watch of the Inquisitorious. And Kanan strongly suspected Ezra hadn't been able to make any friends growing up with his parents. If his daiima had been locked up, Ezra wouldn't have never been able to go far. He certainly wouldn't have been able to freely go out and play with other kids. And of course, the Little One hadn't even been able to interact with Ezra's parents.

They both needed as much exposure with other people as possible.

A big surprise was how much Sabine was going out of her way to talk with Ezra. It wasn't necessarily a lot, but Sabine didn't just shut herself up in her cabin like she usually did. She would come down to the cargo bay and hangout under the guise of cleaning up Ezra's look.

"Honestly," Sabine said, picking up Ezra's Inquisitor clothes. "It wouldn't take much to change up your Inquisitor getup. At least these actually fit you."

Ezra glanced down at the oversized t-shirt he was still donning. It really was comically large on him which was endearing and made him look much younger than his actual fifteen. Although it wasn't just the clothes. Ezra was small for his age. Kanan couldn't be sure if it was malnutrition or if he was just genetically a smaller person. It wouldn't exactly be advantageous for the Inquisitorious to starve their candidates.

Of course, the same could be said for torturing a child to within an inch of his life.

"What colors do you like?" Sabine asked, shaking out Ezra's blacks and looking them over.

Ezra just stared at her for a moment. Kanan had to suppress a chuckle at the kid's obliviousness. "Uh… what do you mean?" Ezra eventually replied.

"You know, color." Sabine ran a hand through her blue and orange ombre hair. "Something other than the boring greyscale the Empire insists on using."

Ezra shrugged, petting a hand over his daiima's head. "I don't know… I don't see anything wrong with black."

"Black's not a color," Sabine said, slightly exasperated. "If you're going to be part of this crew, you're gonna have to dress like this crew. And that means we say kriff it to Imperial 'style'." She folded up the blacks and tucked them under her arm before looking Ezra over with a critical eye. Kanan knew she was attempting overlaying different styles and colors over Ezra in her mind, but the gaze was making Ezra squirm uncomfortably.

Then Sabine smiled and gave a short nod. "Well I've got some ideas." She pointed at the pieces of armor which were sitting on top of the cold storage unit. "Mind if I take those as well?"

Ezra looked over at Kanan as if silently asking for permission. Kanan just gave a small smile. "They're technically yours," he said. "It's up to you."

Biting his lip, Ezra just shrugged. "I-I don't care…"

"Alright then." Sabine swiped them, nestling them along with the rest of Ezra's Inquisitor outfit. "I'll be back later to grill you on designs."

She turned to leave, missing how Ezra had immediately stiffened at the statement. Once she was gone, Kanan leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's nothing to worry about," he assured. "Sabine tends to get a bit focused when it comes to her art projects. Although you might want to try and think up some images or symbols you like."

Ezra frowned. "What does that mean?"

Kanan turned slightly, displaying his own armor that Sabine had gifted him. "She painted this for me." He ran a hand over the white symbol that decorated his pauldron. "This is a symbol for a Shriek Hawk, a Mandalorian bird. Evidently, the way I fight reminds her of the bird," Kanan said with a half-smile.

Ezra's shoulders hunched over as he shrank into himself slightly. "I tried to arrest her…" he mumbled.

Kanan gave an amused huff. "You know, you're not the only one who had a rocky start with this crew. The first time we met Sabine, she was trying to steal from us." Ezra regarded him with some skepticism, which just made him chuckle. "We've all had a bit of a rough start on this ship."

Ezra swallowed, his hands tightening on his daiima. She squirmed slightly with a small whimper under the painful grip.

Nara let out a growl as their pain reverberated in the Force, and Kanan reflexively reached out and grabbed Ezra's wrists. "Ezra, stop...!"

There was a flurry of movement and a sharp change in the atmosphere. Ezra was pressed back against the wall, his eyes wide and glassy as he trembled. His daiima was huddled against Nara after having been kicked away. They were both locked up in fear, echoes of their memories overwhelming them.

Kanan's chest ached, guilt weighing down his heart. He hit the side of his thigh a couple times, purposefully putting more strength behind the strikes to make some bruises. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "But you were hurting her…" Hurting yourself.

It was probably the wrong thing to say, because Ezra looked down at the burn scars on his hands, shaking his head hard. "No no no, I-I was just… control, just control…"

"Ezra," Kanan said evenly, trying to stay calm for the boy's sake. "You're with me on the Ghost. You're not in trouble."

"I-I'm sorry, I won't…" Ezra visibly swallowed, his gazed suddenly focusing on Kanan. His hands were clenching and unclenching as he extended his arms out in front of him towards Kanan.

Kanan frowned at the action, staring down at the trembling limbs. Ezra was offering his arms out to Kanan like he expected Kanan to slap on a pair of manacles. Kanan growled as he pondered how to approach this.

However, his stupid vocal tic sent a wave of terror through Ezra, his breath hitching as his entire body became stiff as a board.

"Hey, no…" Acting on instinct, Kanan reached forward and wrapped Ezra's cold hands with his own. "I'm sorry, it was just my tic. I'm not mad, I promise." He reached up and gently placed a hand along the side of the boy's neck. "Everything's okay. You're okay."

Ezra's eyes were brimming with tears as they slanted in confusion. He was searching Kanan's expression while fumbling along their bond, checking the truth of his statements. Slowly - very slowly - Ezra's body began to relax, his breathing evening out.

Kanan gave a smile, though it was a bit forced. He might still be kriffing up, but at least he was decent at pulling Ezra back from the depths of panic.

There was a small whimper as Ezra's daiima slowly crawled out of Nara's embrace back towards her jemma. Ezra didn't turn toward her. In fact, he barely moved, but Kanan could feel his muscles tensing again. She wasn't as hesitant as she used to be. Jumping onto the cot, she slowly curled up next to him, pressing her body up against his thigh.

A moment passed before Ezra reached down and put a hand on the side of her body, pulling her up more tightly against him. Ezra still looked a bit stricken, but at least he was still capable of reaching out to his daiima.

All in all, it was promising. In fact, Kanan was starting to feel bad about having to leave the Ghost and its crew behind. He just didn't see an alternative that would keep everyone safe.

It wouldn't be forever, he reminded himself. Just long enough for the incident with the Purge Trooper to blow over. Hopefully, Ezra and his daiima will have at least recovered to the point where they could discover her name.

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