I do not own Star Wars in any capacity.

Enjoy chapter 17!

"You must have some personal preferences," Sabine said dryly.

Ezra was pretty sure he should be offended by her tone, but all he could muster was confusion. "Kanan said you chose the symbol on his pauldron…" he said with a shrug.

Kanan was leaning against Nara, asleep. For once, they were sleeping together. They evidently trusted Ezra enough now to do so, for which Ezra was very grateful for. Watching them sleep at the same time wasn't nearly as unnerving as when they slept separately.

Frankly, if one ignored the horror of being torn apart, having a broken tether seemed quite advantageous for them overall. They could basically go and act as independently as they pleased. It was undoubtably how they had managed to stay hidden from the Empire for so long.

Sabine wasn't deterred by the slumbering pair. "Yeah, that's because I already knew him. I don't know you. So that's what I'm doing now." She crossed her arms with a huff. "Do you know what planet you're from?"

It was with a grimace that the knowledge floated up to his foremind. It was another part of him that had been beaten down. It didn't matter where he was from. He lived to serve the Empire. Now that he thought about it, Ezra wondered if he had been sent to Lothal for his first mission as a test of his loyalties.

Turned out his homeworld couldn't turn him, but just a few days with a fallen Jedi could.

Sabine was tapping her fingers, becoming increasingly impatient. "It's fine if you don't know," she stated.

"No, I do…" Ezra cleared his throat. "I-I'm from Lothal."

Her eyebrows shot up. "You're joking."

He shook his head, his fingers tangled in his daiima's fur. "I-I think it was a test. To see if I could carry out my duty on my… home." The last word was like gravel in his throat. It was difficult to think of it as home. He barely remembered it beyond the occasional flash of moments with his…

… parents.

"Okay, yeah, that makes sense," Sabine said slowly. "At least, when it comes to the Empire," she spat out under her breath.

The statement had so much emotion behind it, there had to be a personal story there. All at once, Ezra remembered that he also knew almost nothing about this Mandalorian. Nothing beyond her fluency with technology and her artiness. And with Kanan's warning, he knew that art was incredibly important to her. It was literally splattered on her armor.

And hell, he knew Hera even less. She seemed… nice? The Twi'lek was the pilot, the leader of the ship, and seemed close with Kanan. Someone that Kanan obviously trusted. Kanan was just so much more open and relaxed with her than anyone else.

But Kanan really was the only one he knew. Frankly, Ezra was okay with that. Kanan was his master. Ezra owed him everything. Everything about his life right now… It was easy for him to just submit to Kanan. He wasn't a Jedi, he wasn't an Inquisitor, but he understood. And Ezra knew that his best recourse right now was to follow Kanan's every word. Because otherwise, he risked his entire grasp on reality crumbling and grinding him down to dust.

Sabine's voice brought him back to the moment. "Well, what important iconography does Lothal have?"

Ezra could only stare at her. "Important…. What?"

"Oh, you know, symbols and cultural figures that embody Lothal's culture."

That was an enormous task to ask of Ezra. Lothal was just… Lothal. The planet he was born on. Anything beyond that were just traditions and stories his parents would tell him. Like…

"My parents would tell me about these legends," Ezra started to say slowly. "They would say that the heart of Lothal is the Gateway to... a world between worlds. And they said we were the guardians, sworn to safeguard the Gate. And in turn, we were protected by the Wolfriders, bound to one another for eternity." Ezra swallowed, hunching his shoulders up. "They rode the Loth-wolves, their soul partners."

Sabine hummed, scribbling on her datapad. "What did Loth-wolves look like?"

Ezra frowned, trying to remember the visuals his parents would show him during the stories. "Um… actually, kinda like Nara…" he murmured, thinking about the markings. "Big wolf with…" He streaked his fingers over his face simulating the patterns he saw in his bedtime stories that mirrored the ones Nara had.

Was Nara a Loth-wolf?

Ezra looked over at Kanan and Nara on the platform. The artwork Ezra grew up with was a bit abstract, and he was probably just making random connections. It's not like his memory was all that reliable. He was probably just being stupid. But… Nara did look so much like the paintings he had seen… her markings and proportions…

Ezra shook his head. He was focusing on details that didn't matter.

"I can work with that," Sabine said. "What about this supposed 'Gate'? Any symbols relating to that?"

Ezra shook his head. "No… It was just described as a 'howling cycle'. I mean, it was all symbolic…"

"I mean, obviously." Sabine tapped her datapad. "But I've got some ideas." Then she gave him a genuine smile. "By the time we reach Denova, I'll have a fresh look for you."

He wasn't sure how to feel about that, but he was relieved that she was done grilling him for now.

It turned out that reaching Denova was just the following day. They weren't able to go down immediately. It had been years since Kanan and Nara had been here. With the ongoing expansion of the Empire's power, they couldn't be sure it was still the safe place it had once been.

Hera and Kanan were in the cockpit taking scans of the planet when Sabine came back to the cargo with just a slight bounce in her step. "It's finished~"

Ezra frowned, looking at the bundle in her arms. He was surprised by the muted colors. It didn't look at all like the nearly psychedelic patterns decorating the Mandalorian's armor.

Nara stepped up to her, lowering her snout to the bundle to look at the armor. Then she cocked her head to the side slightly, her ears twitching. "Is that… me?"

"Not… exactly." Sabine set the pile down next to Ezra, picking up the pauldron in question. "Ezra said that there are wolves in Lothal's culture that look like you, so I used you as a model."

Nara hummed, her head still cocked slightly. "Well it looks good, Sabine. I think it suits him."

"Thanks, Nara," Sabine said, practically beaming.

Ezra reached over and smoothed a hand over the clothes. Now that he could see it up close, he recognized the same basic pattern of seams of his inquisitor outfit. The black had all been bleached away to the muted orange, parts of it dyed blue. The gorget and knee cops were a darker blue, and the other pauldron had a stylized orange '5'.

He picked up the pauldron with a frown. "Five…?"

Sabine shifted and shuffled almost sheepishly. "Look, I know you and Kanan are leaving for a bit, but… You'll both be back eventually. And you'll be back to stay. So you're going to need a callsign, and it's certainly not going to be 'Eye See Thirteen'. I'm Spectre Four… So you'll be Spectre Five."

A strange mix of emotions stirred in the space behind Ezra's collarbone. Hearing his Inquisitorial designation made him anxious and nauseous, but it was somehow underwhelming compared to the somehow separate wave of nausea at the thought of being a Spectre… a member of this crew.

It was a horrifying thought. It was wrong. Ezra couldn't be a part of this crew. He owed his life to Kanan but beyond that, he was nothing.

Ezra tried to swallow the nausea down as he put the pauldron back down. There was no way he could wear that, but he certainly wasn't going to say that out loud. The Mando might kill him if he rejected her art, no matter the reason.

"Go on and get changed," Sabine said, indicating the refresher. "I wanna see you in your new look, make sure it actually looks good on you."

Ezra suspected he had no choice, so he grabbed the pile and stood. His daiima shifted into a canary and perched on his shoulder as he walked over to the refresher.

It was actually nice to be back in his own clothes. Beyond the fact that they were tailored to fit his body, it felt like he belonged in them. The clothes from Nar Shaddaa were like a costume. He wasn't the regular normal person the clothes tried to make him out to be. He was Eye See Thirteen…

Ezra tapped the palm of his hand against the side of his head. No, he wasn't. Although even so, he definitely wasn't just a normal person.

The pauldrons were left next to the sink as he turned and looked at himself in the mirror. He ran his hands over the orange and blue fabric. It might feel the same as before, but it looked completely different. He looked completely different.

[I like it] his daiima said.

[...It's okay.] He honestly wasn't sure what to think of it.

When he stepped out of the refresher, he felt the Mando's eyes immediately on him. "Where're your pauldrons?"

Ezra gestured back to the refresher.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Any particular reason they're not on?"

Ezra shrugged, not wanting to explain that the thought of wearing that '5' would make him feel sick. "It's… It's not like I need the armor right now." It was the best excuse he could come up with.

"Yes, but I want to see how the whole package looks."

He had no idea how to respond, so he just crossed his arms and looked down at his feet. He really hoped she didn't force him to put them on. He just wanted to hide in a corner, maybe somehow put Nara between the two of them for good measure.

For once, luck was on his side, because before Sabine could push him further, Kanan walked into the cargo bay. When he saw Ezra, he gave the Mandalorian a smile. "Good job, Sabine."

"Thanks, but he won't put his pauldrons on! Says he doesn't need it."

Ezra tightened his arms around himself, his daiima nestled up against his neck. He really just wanted to disappear…

Kanan sighed. "Well, Hera and I finished our scans. No sentients or signs of mining equipment. It's safe, so he's not wrong."

"That's not the point! I worked hard on those designs, and I wanna see Ezra's complete look before you guys leave us for weeks and weeks."

"Sabine," Kanan more firmly.

He didn't say anything else, but Sabine finally stopped talking. Ezra glanced up and over at Kanan, and his stomach flipped when he saw that Kanan was giving Sabine a slight glare. He hoped he didn't just get her in trouble.

Finally, Sabine closed her eyes and sighed. "Well, you do look infinitely better than you did in those street clothes," she said to Ezra.

Ezra nodded. Hard to argue with her on that. "Thanks," he said genuinely.

Sabine smiled, which put Ezra a bit more at ease. "No problem, kid."

It had been... disappointing to see that the Empire had not taken over this small but vibrant planet. It was actually a little surprising since it was completely habitable and likely had a wealth of resources to be extracted. But perhaps its proximity to Mandalorian space had kept the Empire at bay for now.

Hera had to push down her grimace when the scans finished. Now there really was no way to convince Kanan to stay on the ship. She knew it had been a long shot, that Kanan and Nara would have simply looked for another planet or moon to hide on. But it was a sliver of hope that she had clung to.

But no. Denova was clear of the Empire and abundant enough to sustain anyone who had basic survival skills. So in an hour, they would be disembarking and leaving the Ghost.

At the moment, Hera was working to find a decent place to land. They would make sure that Kanan and Ezra were settled in with the base supplies they needed for a long stay… before she, Chop, and Sabine left.

Hera's heart was heavy. It was just hard knowing Kanan and Nara were going to be leaving the ship. Temporary or not. They would have a secure channel that could be used in emergencies but beyond that…

A part of Hera recognized that she was being childish. Selfish even. Ezra and his daiima were in such a precarious position right now, particularly mentally. Keeping them safe from the Empire was a no brainer.

But Kanan and Nara have been a part of this ship and this life for nearly eight years now. They had changed and grown so much in that time. When they had first come aboard, they were a chaotic storm of raw pain. Nara had been fiercely, sometimes violently, protective of Kanan. In the early years, it had been quite difficult to help the two of them work through (at least parts of) their past. But Hera could see the kind man buried beneath the layers of bravado and vulgar quips... the nurturing and gentle wolf shrouded by hyper-vigilance and rage.

And they did eventually emerge. Little by little. First to Hera, and eventually to others. When they first met Sabine, it had been a real testament to Kanan's progress that he was able to connect with her and nurture her trust. At least, enough trust for her to join the Ghost and let down her guard. They really were like a small family.

Knowing that their family was going in separate ways - even for just a while - was difficult to accept.

Chopper piped up, stating that he found a plain near a southern mountain range where the Ghost could land and take off effectively.

Hera nodded, dipping the Ghost downward to enter the atmosphere. "Copy that. Preparing the landing sequence."

Chopper rolled up beside her, grumbling about her being in a bad mood.

"I'm not in a bad mood." Hera sighed. "Of course I'm upset about them leaving, but it's only for a while. And we'll be keeping busy in the meantime."

Chopper hummed before bemoaning that he would no longer be able to torment Kanan.

Hera managed a half smile. "Well again, he'll be back eventually…" The more she said it aloud, the more she could convince herself that it would be true. She had no reason to think it wouldn't be, but… it made her feel better.

Denova was quite a beautiful planet. It was relatively temperate, the mountains in this continent were old and worn down into gentle slopes, covered in thick forests. They transitioned down into the orange and green plains where herds of grazing animals were wandering. As the Ghost approached the ground, a flock of birds took off to avoid the landing ship.

The Ghost landed, and Hera finished shutting down the ship. Then she sat there, frozen in her position. She didn't want to move. The sooner she moved, the sooner she would be going down to the loading dock. The sooner she went down to the loading dock, the sooner the camping and survival supplies were off loaded for Kanan, Ezra, and their daiima. And then Hera would have no reason to stay. In fact, she had already lined up two potential jobs so they could quickly start earning some credits again.

She had to move.

Hera inhaled slowly, holding it for a moment… before exhaling. And then she stood and took the ladder down to the loading dock. The ramp was already down. Sabine was putting out a couple survival kits and a box of what Hera assumed was rations and first aid supplies. Once again, Hera had to remind herself that Kanan had a comm line directly connected to the Ghost. If anything truly went wrong… he could call her.

Sabine sighed and looked out over the plains and the nearby mountain. "I guess if you're going to go hiding anywhere…"

Hera nodded, stepping up beside her. "It is quite beautiful."

They stood in silence. She knew what was going through the young woman's mind. It was the same that was going through her own. And they were both the more miserable for it.

"... I hate this," Sabine whispered.

"I know," Hera replied. "But again, it's…"

"... only temporary," Sabine bit out. "I don't care, and I'm tired of hearing it."

"Fair enough."

Hera turned to put a hand on her arm, but Sabine shrugged it off and stepped away. "Don't comfort me, I just… need to stew." She glanced up at Hera. "I'll be fine."

"... Alright," Hera said softly.

There was the familiar hiss, and they both turned to see Kanan walking out of the cargo bay, followed closely by Nara. Ezra wasn't far behind, his daiima perched on his shoulder in the form of a bird. His newly colored outfit looked good on him and were certainly a better fit than the second hand clothes. He wasn't wearing his pauldrons so he did look a little bare, but overall, it suited him.

Kanan's expression noticeably softened as he looked out at the planet, a low growl emanating from his throat. Hera wondered what was running through his head. This was the site of one of the biggest turning points in his and Nara's life, a place of both pain and recovery. And they had been so young at the time…

"I gotcha a box of ration bars and some med supplies, just in case," Sabine said, kicking the short stack of boxes. "I know you've survived here before with less, but it can't hurt."

"Thank you, Sabine," Kanan said with a smile, reaching forward to put a hand on her shoulder.

As expected, she stepped back from him, giving him a strained smile. "Just… don't die."

He gave a lighthearted chuckle. "We won't."

Sabine's smile twitched, becoming a bit more genuine, before she walked toward the back of the loading dock. She paused briefly as she passed Ezra.

Ezra glanced up at her, his brow furrowed in with nervous confusion.

The Mando opened her mouth, but then seemed to think better of it. She gave his shoulder an awkward pat. "Watch Kanan's back. He'll need it."

Ezra's frown deepened as he glanced between her and Kanan. "H-He will?"

"Yeah…" Sabine gave a half-glare back toward Kanan one last time. "He will."

Hera gave a silent chuckle as she rolled her eyes slightly. Either Sabine was being blithe or intentionally threatening at Kanan's expense. From Kanan's smirk, he merely found it amusing.

Sabine disappeared up the ladder to the cabins, and Hera returned her attention to Kanan. "She just needs some time."

"I figured," he said with mirth. His gaze swept over her. "What about you?"

"I'll be fine," Hera said with some added emphasis. "This is for the best. And…" She gave a humorless huff. "... it won't be forever."

Kanan's smile softened as he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. It was a chaste kiss, only lasting a moment, but Hera sighed into it as she committed to memory the warmth of his lips and the musky smell that always lingered on his skin.

When Kanan pulled back, he gazed down at her with his eyes slanted in affection. He maintained eye contact as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his comm, making a point. "We'll be fine."

Hera smiled and nodded. "I know."

Kanan put the comm back in his pocket, his gaze lingering. "Hey Ezra, help me carry these supplies."

Ezra nodded, trotting up to grab some of the survival kits before carrying them down the ramp. Kanan flashed Hera one last smile before turning to help him.

All too soon, the supplies were offloaded, and the ramp closed. Standing alone in the loading dock, Hera closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

It wouldn't be forever.

What do you think? Write a review and let me know.