Hurt Locker

Chapter Ten- Brunch from Hell

Mac made himself scarce the rest of the morning. She didn't know where he had gone until he messaged her that he was going to work. She sighed. Not exactly the reaction she was expecting. Were they making any sense dancing around their feelings but cohabitating and even sleeping in the same bed. Was she making any sense? She flopped back into bed when another message came through. A message from Desi asking if they could have coffee. She had completely forgotten they had sorta made plans to meet up the last time they saw each other. She got up immediately, anything would beat sitting around the house and obsessing about Mac.

Twenty minutes later she was walking into the small cafe looking for Desi. She spotted her in the corner at a table for two.

"Sorry I don't even know how you take your coffee." Desi said.

"I don't think I want coffee. It's probably a bad idea with the insomnia."

Desi nodded and returned with a muffin and chai tea for Riley. Riley reached for the muffin showing her bruise from all the falls during her training.

"That looks nasty," Desi said.

Riley shook her head, "I don't even feel it. Mac and I were—I'm trying to get my fitness back. I just started but I'm trying to get back where I was pre-fall."

"Do you need help? I can create a fitness plan for you." Desi said.

"Really? That would be really awesome, thank you." She wasn't sure what she was expecting but Desi was nicer than she looked. She didn't expect to find so much warmth beneath all that bad-assery.

"So, what's up?" Riley said. Maybe it was normal for them just to meet up but Riley didn't think so.

"I uh-wanted to apologize properly."

"Apologize?" Riley echoed.

Desi bit her lip, her feet tapping under the table.

"For your accident."

Riley was confused. Was everybody on team Phoenix martyrs? Everyone kept blaming themselves. She wanted to stop the conversation. Everytime she thought about it her blood ran cold and she felt like she was falling all over again. It was scarier than all her nightmares combined.

"Desi it's okay. You really don't have to." Riley said.

"Let me get this out. I-I didn't realize how bad Mac and I were for each other until it got you hurt."

Riley froze. Huh? She and Mac? "Wait what happened?"

Desi stopped also, "I'm sorry assumed you knew. I thought for sure Mac had told you."

Riley felt uneasy. Dread coiled in the pit of her stomach and she realized she hadn't even heard the full story. She tried to think about it but everytime she did she hit a black wall. But she was now curious beyond repair. She would have to hear it from Desi.

"It's not him, I don't really like talking about it," But that was before she knew Desi was involved. The way she said 'Mac and I' made Riley's stomach tie into knots. It put things into perspective, the world wasn't revolving around she and Mac, she was starting to wonder if she was even a main character.

"Please Desi, tell me everything," Riley said. Desi nodded and gave her the entire run down of what was supposed to be a run of the mill mission. She told how things had taken a turn for the worst but she and Mac's bickering had made for an almost fatal mistake in the field.

Riley felt a bit dejected listening to Desi. She had to sit with the information for some time to really process the information. Up until her accident, Mac had been Desi. It put a sour taste in her mouth. Riley felt the world she had built around come crashing down. This changed everything.

"I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me," Desi finished with. By then Riley was half zoned out putting her own past experiences into perspective with this new information. She shook her head no and stumbled out of the cafe unto side walk. The world blurred and she suddenly felt disoriented, like everything she and Mac had been through the last couple months had not come for a genuine place but a place of guilt. She dug her phone out of her coat and called for help, the only person she could think of.

"You said if I needed anything I could call…"

Mac was going in on the punching bag in one of the training rooms. He had too much energy to expel and no matter how hard he punched and kicked, he still vibrated with energy. He was afraid there was only way he would feel like himself again, and it involved her.

It was crazy how his life had shifted in the last few months. Shifted to Riley. She was everything now. He didn't know how healthy that was but that was his reality. He hoped that catching Mason would help. Or even Riley regaining all her memories would settle his raging heart but something told him the storm brewing under his chest was here to stay.

His feelings for Riley had grown exponentially since her accident and he wasn't sure if he could separate the two. If she had never been hurt would he still have all these feelings?

The thought scared him, he was already in so deep and those kisses had set not just his body but his entire world on fire. He couldn't keep away. And as dark as the thought was, he didn't want to stop even if it would burn them both. But he couldn't just let himself freefall into Riley. What would stop him from wrecking another friendship like he did with Desi. This was different than Desi. Riley was his best friend and if things blew up it would feel like he lost a limb.

Riley however, was making things very difficult for Mac to keep his resolve. He'd never seen anyone look so cute eating a bowl of cereal, the way her eyes filled with desire as she watched him over her bowl. He now found everything she did extremely sexy. How was he supposed to go home and share a bed with her without wanting to hold her in his arms?

With that thought he landed another devastating blow to the punching bag. His legs were sore and he was dripping in sweat when his phone beeped. He groaned when he heard it. He always thought it would be news about Mason and it never was. Except this time, Matty's text read just that. He grabbed a towel and rushed to the war room.

Matty was waiting on him with a map pulled up on the screen.

"Got him?" Mac asked quickly.

"He's in London." Matty said. "Listen blondie, I can have some agents in London try to apprehend him. You don't have to go yourself."

"What?" Mac was hot with anticipation, this had been what he was waiting for. Why was Matty trying to sideline him?

"You've been distracted at work and I don't want you to be compromised over there."

"I'm not compromised," Mac said. Though his mind was already going back to his shifty presence these last few months. He really had not been the most present. He had been too focused on Riley's recovery. But this was different, he wanted to face and Riley and tell her that Mason was in a deep dark hole. And that he was the one who put him there.

"Let me send another team, Desi even. Don't go over there and be distracted, not with Mason. He's as clever as you and we still don't know what he's up to."

Mac was outraged and a little bit offended. It was like Matty had no faith in him. Had he really been that careless these past few months? He had a decision to make, he didn't have long to make it and he wouldn't make it until he spoke to Riley.

Mac rushed home and searched for Riley. He was immediately alarmed when he couldn't find her anywhere. Heat warmed the back of his neck, his heart began thumping out of rhythm as another panic attack began to seize him. His mind started flashing the worst-case scenarios in his head. He heard a car pulling up in the driveway and couldn't even get up to go to the door. He sank down unto the floor and sat until it passed. He lifted his head when Riley walked through the door, she was wrapped in a big jacket that wasn't hers. He wanted to take her head off for leaving without telling him where she was but he was so damn happy to see her all that fell away when their eyes met. He would have rushed to her side and hugged her if Aubrey hadn't come in behind her.

He had one question, what the fuck?

"What's going on?" Mac said following her into her room. Aubrey had the stayed at the door, refusing to meet his eye. Was she really going to brush past him with no explanation about her whereabouts or her ex-boyfriend in his living room.

"I'm going to stay with Aubrey for a few days." she said, her back was facing him and she was grabbing clothes out of her drawers and stuffing them into a carryon suitcase haphazardly.

She was going to what? Mac didn't understand and frankly he wanted to storm out of that room and drag Aubrey out of his house and away from Riley. She wasn't making sense.

Mac stood frozen at the door watching in dread, mostly he didn't understand what was going on. A joke that was running too long maybe? He didn't understand what had between this morning and right now?

"Why?"

"I need to get away Mac."

"From me?" he said. Her silence was the answer.

She zipped up the stuffed suitcase then rolled the bag outside where Aubrey was waiting. Sensing something brewing Aubrey cleared his throat.

"I'll take this to the car," he said taking the suitcase from her. He left them alone and Mac's anger flared picturing the worst. What had they spent the whole day doing? Them in bed together. He wanted to puke.

"Make me understand please," Mac said blocking her path to the door. He felt like he was being gutted from the inside out and she didn't even care. She had that detached look in her eye, like she had not recognized since she walked through the door.

"No you make me understand first," she looked just as raw as he did. "How come you could be so brazen when you were Desi?"

Desi? Mac had not expected that. He and Desi were over, how did Riley even know. And what did that have to do with why she wanted to leave.

"How come you could take chances for Desi…be so recklessly in love with her that you risked my life for it. But you can't take a chance with me?"

Mac's heart shattered into pieces, each word chipped away another piece of him. She had remembered what happened. It was his worst nightmare, she hated him because of what he had done. And worst, she was completely misinterpreting the motives behind his actions. He'd been hesitating because he care about her more...not less.

"You were right, I am confused. And we're not a good idea," she said softly. Her words broke what little composure he had left. He didn't even know when he had stepped aside to let her out, he only heard the click door made when it closed.

Mac sprang into action, wiping his hot angry tears away. He didn't want to think and he didn't want to feel. He would channel everything he was feeling into catching Mason and until then he would block it all out. He pulled out his phone and called Matty.

"Matty, get me on a plane to London. I'm in, one hundred percent."

A/N: Home stretch guys. Pulled an all nighter to finish. I have so much fun fics planned, can't wait for you guys to read. Thanks for the support!