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Fruit Salad

After an argument, Gajeel decides to swallow his pride and make it up to Levy with a nice date out. Seeking out romantic advice is not something he really wants to do, but he's desperate. Advice from Juvia and Mira in hand, he sets up the perfect apology. What could possibly go wrong?

Gajeel knew he was in dire straits when he had to go to Juvia for help. But Levy was really pissed this time, and he was not well-equipped to handle the whole emotional apology side of things. He also didn't much care for seeking out advice, much less romantic advice, but if it had to be someone then it might as well be Juvia.

He headed for the guild, but only made it halfway before spotting a suspicious flash of blue in the bushes. He paused to watch Juvia as she hunkered down under cover of the shrubbery and peeked through the leaves. Glancing across the street, he noted Gray and his team arguing loudly as they strolled on in the direction of the guild hall.

Ah, that explained it.

Rolling his eyes, Gajeel said, "Hey, Juvia. I need your help."

Juvia nearly jumped out of her skin, and toppled over with a loud crunching of leaves and twigs as she whipped around and lost her balance. The group walking past looked over at the commotion, and Gajeel shrugged and waved at them. They gave him odd looks and moved on.

"Gajeel-kun!" Juvia said in a loud whisper. She threw a longing look after her beloved Gray-sama before resigning herself to dealing with the dragon slayer. "How can Juvia help?"

"It's…about Levy."

Juvia's face lit up and she leapt to her feet in excitement. "Romantic advice? Juvia is great with romantic advice! She can definitely help Gajeel-kun!"

Gajeel's eye twitched, but he decided to forego commenting because he really did need some help. "Well, you see, we might've kinda gotten in a fight the other day. And she's still really pissed. And it might've kinda been my fault, so I gotta make it up to her somehow…"

Juvia nodded thoughtfully as she digested that. "Has Gajeel-kun apologized?"

"Of course. Sort of. But she's mad enough that I need some kind of apology gesture to go along with it. You know."

"Juvia does know!" She grinned and rubbed her hands together, her eyes alight with an almost maniacal glee that had Gajeel backing up a half-step and eyeing her warily. "Juvia knows all about how to win over a lover! First, Gajeel-kun should follow Levy-san around. Everywhere. This shows her that Gajeel-kun cares and wants to spend time with her, and means that they can be together all the time. Next, Gajeel-kun should bake something for Levy-san. Preferably with her face on it, to show how much he loves her. Or even his face. Or, even better, both! Oh, and Gajeel-kun should make a shrine to Levy-san, with all sorts of dolls in her likeness and collected clothing and–"

"Never mind," Gajeel interrupted hastily. "Thanks, I think I've got it."

Why, exactly, had he thought that going to Juvia was a good idea? She hadn't had any luck at all winning Gray over with her overly involved tactics, and they were a bit creepy even if you caught them in the right light. No way would Levy respond well to Gajeel stalking her or feeding her food with her face on it.

"Good luck!" Juvia called after him as he slunk off in defeat. "Juvia knows Levy-san will love it!"

…Yeah. Sure.

So if he couldn't ask Juvia, who could he ask? He'd rather die than ask for romantic advice from just about anyone.

Half an hour of moody pacing along the streets finally gave him his answer: Mira. Of course. Mira knew everything and was who everyone could always go to for advice. And she heard enough romantic drama and secrets at the bar that his wouldn't seem so interesting. She would keep things confidential and was known to have good romantic sense. Perfect.

Gajeel made a beeline for the guild with his new goal firmly in mind, and headed straight for the bar. Mira was drying dishes and putting them away behind the bar, her usual bright smile on her face. Gajeel took a look around to make sure that no one was paying attention and Levy wasn't around—of course not, she was still off sulking—before sliding onto a barstool.

"Mira."

"What's up, Gajeel?" She smiled and drifted over, still running the cloth over a glass.

"I need some advice," he grumbled, scowling at the counter in order to avoid eye contact.

"Oh?" Mira's surprise and curiosity were almost palpable, but she exercised great verbal restraint. "About what?"

"Levy," he muttered. "I pissed her off and there was a big fight and shit. I have to make it up to her somehow, but I don't know where to start."

"Did you apologize?"

Gajeel rolled his eyes. Why was everyone on him about the apology? It must be some kind of girl thing. He made a mental note to give Levy a legitimate apology next time he saw her.

"Yeah, sort of. But she's, like, really pissed this time and I wanna do something nice to make her not mad at me anymore. And she keeps saying I'm no good at spending time with her and 'putting work into the relationship', whatever that means, so I figure I'd better plan something out or some shit."

Mira nodded and her smile returned. "In that case, you're probably on the right track. Plan out a nice date and put some real effort into it, and she'll be happy that you cared enough to take what she said to heart and put in the work."

"Yeah, I figured that part out on my own, actually. The hard part is, I have no idea what to do. C'mon, Mira. Help a man out."

"Hm…" Mira put down the glass and furrowed her brow in thought. Gajeel watched her with desperate hope as she tapped her fingers on the counter and thought the problem through. "Why don't you set up a nice picnic or something? The weather is supposed to be beautiful tomorrow, and you could take her out to the park. I bet she'd enjoy something more low-key after the drama you two have been having."

"A picnic?" Gajeel asked skeptically. He'd been expecting something a little…more from Mira and her fabled advice-giving abilities.

"Sure. It will give you guys some time to relax and talk things out if you need to. You just need to make some food, and you'll be good to go."

"Okay, okay, fine. Can you make us up a picnic basket or whatever?"

Mira gave him a beatific smile. "I don't think so. She wants to see you putting more effort into making this work, right? She'll appreciate it more if you do it yourself instead of handing off the responsibility to someone else."

Gajeel paled. This picnic thing had seemed like an easy way to get Levy off his case, but it was starting to sound more and more complicated.

"I don't know…"

"It'll be easy!"

"But I don't know how to cook…"

"That's okay. Picnic food is simple. Here, I can give you some tips." Mira counted on her fingers and nodded to herself as she thought it through. "You can make sandwiches, of course. Any kind you want. Maybe some fruit salad. That's quick and easy. You could cut up some vegetables too as a quick and fresh side. Maybe bring some carrots or cucumbers or celery. And make cookies! I have a quick and easy recipe for chocolate chip cookies around here somewhere. Everyone loves it, and it's almost impossible to mess up."

She ran off and disappeared into the back before Gajeel could protest, and he could only wait for her return and reflect on what a mess he was making of his life.

"I'll…try it," he said reluctantly, looking over the paper she handed him. What the hell did 'pre-heating' an oven mean? Ovens were hot. That was just how they were. It was practically the definition of an oven. Why did it need to pre-heat if it was already heating as soon as you turned it on?

"I'm sure she'll appreciate that you tried," Mira reassured him.

"Okay, so sandwiches should be easy. I can cut up some vegetables and shit. And…however this cookie thing goes. And what was the other thing you said? Fruit salad? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Who the hell wants apples in their salad?"

Mira laughed. "You don't just stick fruit in your lettuce. It's just a fancy way of saying that you cut up a bunch of fruit and mix it together."

Gajeel was unimpressed. "If it doesn't have lettuce, it ain't a salad."

"Well, call it something else, then. A fruit medley. It's quick and painless."

"Quick and painless sounds good. Thanks, Mira. I'm gonna go figure this shit out for tomorrow."

"Good luck! Let me know how it goes!"

"Sure."

Gajeel slid off the stool and headed for the door. Putting everything together would take all day, especially if he messed it up the first half a dozen times and had to keep retrying it. It seemed like a pain in the neck, honestly.

But…he'd do it if it would make Levy happy.

And having her mad at him was also a pain.

A thought struck him as he was about to leave, and he turned to the first person he saw. "Is a tomato a fruit?"

Lucy smiled in bemusement. "Yes."

He scowled, not pleased to have a wrench thrown into his plans already. "Damn. Guess I can't cut it up with the vegetables, then."

Lucy's confusion deepened, but she was distracted by Natsu saying, "What? What do you mean a tomato is a fruit?"

"You didn't know that?" she asked in disbelief.

"It's a vegetable!"

"…No, technically not."

Natsu gaped at her. "…My childhood is ruined."

Gajeel rolled his eyes. It was always useful to keep someone around who was dumber than him. Waving a curt goodbye, he stalked outside, squared his shoulders, and set off to war.

Mira looked up as Gajeel dragged himself inside with leaden footsteps and ambled over to the bar. "How did it go?" she asked.

He gave her a blank stare. Judging by his look, not so well.

"…She's not mad anymore, anyway."

"Well, that's good!"

"Probably because she was too busy laughing."

Mira frowned. "Laughing? What happened?"

"The sandwiches were fine. The vegetables were fine. Even the cookies were okay, if a little misshapen. But that damn fruit salad…"

"The fruit salad? But that's the easiest part! All you have to do is cut up some different kinds of fruit and mix them together."

Gajeel glared at her. "You didn't say that there were rules for which fruits you could use, like no tomatoes."

"Rules? Well, I mean, you want to pick fruits that will taste good together, but that's about it." Mira blinked at him for a moment and then it hit her. "Tomatoes? You didn't…?"

"Tomatoes are fruit! You didn't say that a fruit salad should be any fruit except tomatoes!"

Mira stared at him. She burst out laughing.

He shook his head in disgust and walked away.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. — Miles Kington

Note: Cliché, maybe. But that's actually one of my favorite quotes XD