A/N: Written for Strictly Dramione's Valentine's Day Smut Fest! The prompt was:

Hermione sets out to woo Draco, deciding to use some of the 129 tips on how to find a husband as printed in an old edition of Witch Weekly from 1958. Needless to say, the suggestions are sexist, archaic, and downright hilarious.

My specific prompt was:

Prompt number 23 - Go to all reunions of your high school or college class. There may be widowers there.

No beta other than Grammarly, all mistakes are mine! Enjoy! Find me on Tumblr at crochetawayhpff.

If you liked this (or hated it) let me know about it in a review!

Pairing: Hermione/Draco

Rating: M

Summary: Hermione Granger has been thirsting after Draco Malfoy for at least a year. She has been trying to woo him, using some not-so-great techniques from an old 1950's version of Witch Weekly. Technique number 23 appears to be the one that finally works for her.

The Reunion

February 2014

"You could talk to him you know?" Ginny Potter murmured into Hermione Granger's ear.

"Don't be ridiculous," Hermione muttered, tearing her eyes away from the delicious image that was Draco Malfoy. "He made it perfectly clear when we were teenagers that he wanted nothing to do with people like me."

"Pah, that was ages ago," Ginny waved her hand. "Besides, he's fucking fit these days."

"I'm aware," Hermione said miserably. Somehow her eyes made it back to the fine form that was Draco Malfoy. She stifled a sigh as she watched the way he laughed with his mates.

"What number are you on?" Ginny asked.

"Number twenty-three." Hermione didn't elaborate.

"Which is…?"

"Go to all reunions of your high school or college class. There may be widowers there."

"How fitting," Ginny smirked. "The reunion is in two weeks and Astoria's been dead for close to ten years. I hear he doesn't even date. He's probably just as thirsty as you are."

"Merlin, woman? Must you use such language?" Hermione complained as Ginny laughed.

"Let's get you a drink," Ginny said raising her hand to flag down the bartender. "What are you going to wear?"

"I have no idea," Hermione mumbled. Her eyes seemed to stray to where Malfoy was sitting once more. He laughed at something Nott had said and Hermione's insides squirmed at the way his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. Ginny was right, she was damned thirsty for Malfoy.

"We should go shopping," Ginny suggested as the server finally made his way to their table. The pub was crowded, even for a Thursday. "Two gin and tonics," Ginny told the server, naming their favorite drink.

"I hate shopping," Hermione said. She was still watching Malfoy.

"You need to stop staring," Ginny replied. "He's going to figure it out eventually."

Hermione snorted. She'd been nursing this little obsession with Malfoy for the better part of a year and a half and he hadn't figured it out. It was unlikely he would suddenly come to the conclusion now. Nothing she'd done had changed in all that time, except the amount of time she looked at him. They ran in different circles, although wizarding London wasn't that big, so inevitably she found herself in the same establishments as him at least once a week.

"I mean, if I felt someone stare at me the way you ogle him, I'd definitely feel it," Ginny murmured.

"Mmm-hmm," Hermione hummed. Malfoy and Nott were now chugging their beers and a small bit had slipped out the side of his mouth. Hermione wondered what it would taste like if she licked it.

"Godric's sake woman, get ahold of yourself," Ginny complained, elbowing Hermione in the shoulder.

"What?" Hermione finally tore her gaze from the object of her affections and looked at Ginny, who was smirking at her.

"You haven't heard a word I said."

"Ugh, shut up!" Hermione complained and was pleased when the bartender set their drinks before them. She tossed him a couple of galleons and took a big sip. She resolved to pay more attention to Ginny and less to Malfoy. It was ridiculous the way she was mooning over him. Honestly, when this whole thing had started, she had no idea it would have lasted as long as it had.

"You just need to get him out of your system," Ginny suggested. "Let's go shopping, get you a banging dress, and then you can bag him at the reunion." Ginny's grin was wicked and while Hermione liked the sound of the plan, the idea of somehow snagging Malfoy at their Hogwarts class reunion seemed a little impossible.

"Tell me again why the reunion is on Valentine's Day?" Hermione asked.

"Well, it's convenient it's a Friday this year," Ginny said. "And there is some extensive repair work happening at the castle over the summer."

"Right, but Valentine's Day? It's just so lurid, so contrived."

"Only because you are thinking with her pussy."

"You are disgusting." Hermione rolled her eyes and found them wandering back to Malfoy. Who was now standing and donning his cloak. Somehow, despite watching him all night and lusting after him for longer than she cared to admit, the thought of him leaving was a little bit of a relief.

"I'll be at your house bright and early at ten tomorrow morning," Ginny said, finishing her drink.

"Ten isn't early," Hermione frowned.

"It is for me. No kids remember?" Ginny laughed and donned her own cloak. She squeezed Hermione's shoulder and exited the pub just after Malfoy and his mates. Hermione stayed for another drink before she too left for the night.

Hermione tugged at the dark red dress Ginny had forced on her a few weeks ago. The Great Hall was full of people she should be delighted to catch up with, but she was standing outside the doors afraid to go in. They'd all been given suites in the guest wing of Hogwarts. It was a wing Hermione hadn't ever really known existed until this reunion. She normally didn't attend these things.

"Planning to go in?" a deep voice behind her asked. She whirled around to find the object of her lust standing directly behind her. He had on his customary black robes and his blond hair was cut short on the sides, but artfully arranged to fall over his eyes. She stared at him for a long moment, just drinking him in.

"Uh, Granger?" Malfoy said, his cheeks reddened a bit and Hermione realized she had been staring with her mouth hanging open. She snapped it closed and turned away from him. She began hauling on the door to the Great Hall to open it, but Malfoy stepped closer behind her. "Let me get that for you," he breathed into her hair.

Hermione was sure that the moan that threatened to escape her lips didn't actually escape her lips. Well, she was reasonably sure anyway. She stood there for a long moment as Malfoy held the door open for her.

"After you," he said.

"Right," Hermione whispered. She squared her shoulders and strode into the chaos that was Hogwarts at Valentine's Day. There were floating pink and red hearts everywhere. The candles were all blood red and there were streamers and little cupid-shaped fairies. She shuddered at the sight of it all.

"It's a little much," Malfoy murmured. Hermione nodded her agreement, her face twisted into a sneer of disgust at the display before. The four house tables were gone, with a smattering of smaller roundtables around the walls of the hall. A large space had been left open in the middle of the hall for dancing. A bar had been set up where the head table normally stood and Hermione decided that was what she needed most of all at this moment. She flashed a small smile of thanks or something like it at Malfoy before taking off into the crowd. There was no way she was going to be recovering from that anytime soon, so she might as well drown her sorrows.

"Did I see you walking in with Malfoy?" Ginny asked the glee in her voice was barely concealed.

"Sort of," Hermione admitted, finishing her first gin and tonic and setting it down on the bar, indicating she needed a refill to the bartender.

"Well, either you did or you didn't," Ginny said.

"He came up behind me as I was steeling myself to open the door and then he just looked so bloody gorgeous. I stared at him, Ginny. In his face, I just stared with my mouth hanging open like a complete imbecile."

Ginny didn't have the grace to not laugh in Hermione's face at that. She doubled over with giggles and would have fallen to the floor entirely if Hermione hadn't grabbed her arm to keep her upright.

"Oh, you've got it bad," Ginny said once she'd somewhat recovered from her fit of laughter.

"I'm aware," Hermione said tightly, taking a large drink over her refilled beverage.

"Maybe you should slow down on those," Ginny suggested.

"Maybe if I have enough of them, I won't remember how this awful evening began," Hermione groused.

"Hoo boy, you're in one of those moods, eh?"

"Don't start with me, Gin," Hermione snapped.

Hermione waved the bartender down, ignoring Ginny as she suggested perhaps all Hermione needed was a good hard—

"Don't you finish that sentence," Hermione threatened Ginny with a finger in her face.

Hermione passed a stack of Galleons to the bartender. "Give me the bottle of gin."

The bartender thought about it for a moment, before passing it over. Hermione continued to ignore Ginny as she turned from the bar with the bottle in her hand and headed toward a table in the corner. She couldn't leave now, her absence would be noticed, but at least she could get rip-roaring drunk. That would definitely not solve a single problem, but it would at least make her feel less embarrassed about it all.

"Merlin, Hermione, I really don't—"

"If you aren't sitting down to finish this bottle with me, you can bugger right off," Hermione told Ginny as she plopped down into a chair at an empty table. She propped her feet up on the chair across from her and poured herself a shot.

"Right, I'll go mingle and come back to check on you then," Ginny said with a frown.

"You do that," Hermione grumbled under her breath.

She was on her third shot when someone dropped into the chair next to her. A glance out of the corner of her eye told her it was Malfoy. Because of course, it was. Nothing was going to go right for Hermione tonight. She shouldn't have come at all.

She poured herself a fourth shot when Malfoy coughed.

"Did you need something?" Hermione asked.

"Just wondering if you were going to share." Malfoy grinned at her.

"Got a glass?"

Malfoy rolled his eyes and flicked his wand and another shot glass appeared on the table. Hermione poured him a shot and then lifted her glass. They clinked them together and each took their shot, slamming the glasses on the table when they were finished.

"Gin? Really?" Malfoy asked with a slight cough.

"Got a problem with it?" Hermione retorted.

"Not at all, just imagined you were more of a whiskey girl."

"You don't know what kind of woman I am," Hermione said her emphasis on the woman clear. She lifted her eyebrow at him. The alcohol was clearly giving her the bravery she hadn't felt earlier.

Malfoy laughed. It was low and warmed Hermione's belly more than the gin already had. "I stand corrected, Granger."

Hermione hummed her response and turned her gaze back on the dance floor. There were people dancing now unlike when she had walked in and people had just been milling about.

"Why are you hiding in the corner?" Malfoy asked.

"Why are you?" Hermione's reply was perhaps sharper than she had intended.

"Touché," Malfoy said with a smirk.

They were both silent for a while and Hermione was trying to decide if she should say something or continue to ignore him. Ignoring him had its benefits, but it didn't help her ultimate goals. Which, if she were honest with herself was to get laid. More would be great, but she'd settle on a night of great sex.

"I'm hiding here because I hate these things," Malfoy finally offered up. "And because I saw you had somehow scored an entire bottle of alcohol from the bar."

He poured them both another shot, it was definitely more than Hermione needed, but what the hell. It wasn't every day she found herself drinking with the hottest wizard from her year. Merlin, Ginny was right, she was thirsty.

"I also hate these things," Hermione offered.

"Why did you come then?"

Because I knew you would be here, she thought. "Ginny made me," she said.

"Always do everything your friends want you too?" Malfoy asked.

Hermione laughed. "Have you met me? Or my friends? That was my entire childhood."

"Fair enough," Malfoy said. His grin was almost affectionate and Hermione found herself getting lost in his gaze for the second time that night. His icy grey eyes had always fascinated her and now they drew her in.

"How about another?" Malfoy asked.

"Alright," Hermione breathed. She knew she really shouldn't have another, but how could she say no to that lopsided grin he had. The one that had always made her insides flip so deliciously.

Malfoy poured and Hermione clinked her glass to his, downing the drink and regretting it almost instantly when her stomach wanted to protest.

"Oh, maybe that wasn't such a good idea," Hermione groaned and stood, wobbling slightly.

"Woah, Granger, you alright?" Malfoy also stood, grabbing her arm to steady her.

"Yeah, I think maybe just the ladies," she smiled at him faintly and made her way out of the Great Hall. The ladies and probably back to her room. She really wasn't feeling all that well. Had she remembered to pack a Sober Up potion?

Blissfully, the girls' loo was empty. Hermione splashed some water on her face and began digging through her handbag. She did come across a vial of Sober Up but the expiration date on it was last week. It would be good enough she decided and swallowed it down.

She felt less queasy which was positive, but she still felt drunk, which if she was honest, wasn't so bad. She smiled at herself in the mirror and sauntered out of the bathroom to head back to the Great Hall. Malfoy was waiting for her outside of the bathroom.

"Can I help you?" Hermione asked, grinning at him.

"Just seeing how you were feeling," Malfoy responded with a grin of his own. He stepped closer to her. Hermione found herself taking a step back from him.

"I'm just peachy," Hermione replied.

"Really? Because it seemed to me that you had a bit too much to drink, Granger." Malfoy took a step closer and Hermione found herself with her back against the wall.

"And if I had, what would this be?" Hermione asked, waving her hand to indicate whatever it was that was going on between them.

"Gentlemanly concern," Malfoy's grin was anything but gentlemanly and Hermione's breath caught in her throat.

"Well, I did take a Sober Up potion…"

"Even better," Malfoy breathed, suddenly his face was right in front of hers and Hermione was definitely not breathing now.

"But it was expired and I still feel drunk," Hermione said in a rush.

Malfoy chuckled and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Raincheck then."

He walked off down the hallway and Hermione felt like kicking herself. He'd been right there, practically offering himself to her and she had to go and ruin it by telling him the truth. Fuck, what was her problem?

"Malfoy?" she called out before she could stop herself.

"Granger?" he drawled as he turned slowly to face her.

"What if I had an unexpired Sober Up potion in my room?" Hermione felt like an idiot for asking, but she couldn't seem to stop herself.

"I'd say lead the way then," Malfoy said with a grin.

Hermione's lips twitched and she turned on her heel to head back to the guest wing. She hoped he was following her, but didn't look behind her to check. If he was, she didn't necessarily want to give away that she was worried that he wouldn't be. It was convoluted, but she hoped that he was following her. Her heels clicked loudly as she strode through the empty corridors. The guest wing was west of the Great Hall and not too terribly far away. When she reached her room, she pulled her wand from her purse and pointed it at the lock. A pair of hands settled on Hermione's shoulders. Apparently, Malfoy had followed her. She smirked and pushed open the door to her room, leading Malfoy inside.

"Funny, I'm just down the hall," Malfoy murmured as he stepped inside and closed the door behind them.

Hermione didn't respond, she headed toward the en suite bathroom where she'd stored her cosmetics bag. She was almost positive she had packed at least one vial of Sober Up, but hopefully, she had two. One for her and one for Malfoy. A quick rummage later and she did come up with two vials. She turned to go back to the main room to find Malfoy was staring at her bed.

"I've got two," Hermione said triumphantly and kicked off her heels.

"And these aren't expired?" Malfoy responded, raising one eyebrow.

Hermione double checked the date on the bottom of the vials. "Nope, they expire in two months time."

"Well," Malfoy smirked and held out his hand. Hermione dropped one of the bottles into his hand and uncorked the other. They clinked them together and drank them down. Hermione's slight buzz disappeared immediately and her anxiety about what they were ostensibly supposed to be doing next increased exponentially.

Malfoy must have picked something up in her expression. "Granger, if you don't want to do this we don't—"

"No!" Hermione shouted. "No, I, uh, want to, it's just been a while."

Malfoy nodded, he too looked a little nervous. "It's been a while for me too," he admitted, his cheeks brightening. Hermione thought he looked adorable when he was embarrassed.

"So we can take it slow," Hermione said, stepping closer to him.

"Alright," Malfoy agreed readily. "We can take it slow."

"And if you hate it, we can stop," Hermione whispered as Malfoy slipped his arms around her waist.

Malfoy snorted. "That seems bloody unlikely." He lowered his face and slowly, softly pressed his lips to Hermione's. The kiss was slow, just as they agreed, but still, Hermione could feel Malfoy holding back. There was a spark there between them that traveled from her lips down to her core. He tasted like the slight spearmint of the Sober Up potion and Hermione whimpered as he nipped at her bottom lip. She wrapped her arms around his neck, diving one hand through his hair and relishing how soft it was beneath her fingertips.

Malfoy's lips left hers and began trailing down her jaw and neck.

"Slow enough?" Malfoy asked, nibbling on the lobe of her ear.

"Yeah," Hermione panted. She slid her hand down to his shoulders and pushed his robes from them. "Maybe we could go a little faster."

Malfoy's chuckle vibrated in her ear, sending delicious shivers down her spine and heating her core. "I can do faster," he murmured. His fingers tightened around her waist and Hermione found her lips captured by his once more. This kiss was different from their first. The softness was gone, but the passion was tenfold. She found she couldn't get enough of him. Her fingers found the buttons of his shirt and were undoing them one at a time even as their kiss continued.

He broke from her when she reached the bottom of his shirt and pulled the tails from his trousers.

"Someone was busy," Malfoy murmured, trailing his fingers along Hermione's shoulders.

Hermione snorted. "You are wearing far more clothes than I am."

"Good point," Malfoy said. Then he spun her around and slipped the zipper down the back of her dress in the same movement.

"Well," Hermione said as her dress fell to the floor and she was standing in just her strapless bra and knickers. Malfoy's hands settled on her hips and Hermione found herself leaning back into his bare chest.

"I knew you were fucking gorgeous," Malfoy breathed into her ear. He gathered her hair off to one shoulder and began planting kisses along the opposite one. His hard length was pressed into the small of her back. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of her knickers and slowly worked them down her thighs. Hermione stepped out of them and turned around to face him once more.

"You're still overdressed," she told him as she pulled at his belt. She unbuckled it and began unbuttoning the placard of his trousers.

"You're so concerned with that, aren't you?" he grinned at her, running a hand down her flank.

"Equality is important," Hermione said primly as she pushed his trousers down his hips. He toed off his boots and stepped out of the trousers. He was just in his boxer briefs and Hermione reached behind her to unlatch her bra. He shucked off his pants just as she let her bra fall to the floor.

"I'm certainly not disappointed in how this evening is going," Malfoy breathed reaching for her once more. He cupped a breast in one hand and Hermione groaned as her head fell back and he thumbed her nipple into a point. "I always knew you'd have killer tits," Malfoy hummed and bent his head, taking the nipple into his mouth. Hermione's groan turned into a whimper and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders in order to keep herself relatively upright. Malfoy overbalanced and after a quick shuffle of their feet they caught themselves before anyone hit the floor.

"Bed," Hermione suggested.

"Bed," Malfoy agreed. He walked her backward and when the back of her legs hit the bed, she tumbled onto it. Malfoy scrambled on top of her and in a moment his mouth was back on her nipple and Hermione was groaning and arching her back, clutching his head to her chest. Her hips flexed, searching for some sort of friction but there was nothing until Malfoy's hand trailed down her stomach and cupped her mound. This time when she flexed her hips, her clit rubbed deliciously against his palm and a finger slid between her nether lips.

"More," Hermione panted. "I need more."

Malfoy grinned around her nipple before tweaking it between his teeth. Then he licked his way to her other nipple as a finger slid inside her cunt finally giving her something to clench on. Hermione's hands flexed against his back, her nails dragging along his skin as he pumped first one finger in and out of her and then adding a second. His thumb kept a maddeningly slow circle around her clit that had Hermione gasping.

"Fucking love your tits," Malfoy breathed into the valley between them and Hermione laughed. Her laugh turned to a moan when he added a third finger inside her tight channel.

"Malfoy," Hermione whined.

"Draco," he murmured into her skin.

"Draco," she agreed and his thumb pressed so deliciously on her clit that stars exploded behind her eyes and her back arched off the bed. "Draco!" she shouted as her pussy clenched around all three of his fingers.

"That was gorgeous," Malfoy said as he placed a kiss against her throat. He slowly removed his hand and settled his hips between her legs. Hermione drew her own legs up, cradling him and wrapping her feet around his thighs. His cock was heavy against the inside of her thigh and Hermione found herself flexing her hips again.

"You sure about this?" Malfoy asked, peering into her eyes.

Hermione laughed. "Bit late for that isn't it? Already made me come."

"Yeah, I did," Malfoy grinned. "You liked it."

"Yeah, I did," Hermione agreed. She slipped a hand up to cup his cheek and his closed his eyes as he leaned into her palm. "I need you to fuck me."

"Never thought you'd ask," Malfoy murmured. He opened his eyes briefly to line himself up, his head just at her opening and Hermione tilted her hips so he would slide inside. He inched forward until he was fully seated and they both groaned at the sensation. Hermione's nipples tightened. There was nothing like the fullness of a cock inside her. There was no comparison to how good he felt.

Malfoy dropped his forehead to hers and their breath mingled before Hermione lifted her head and kissed him. Malfoy kissed her fiercly as his hips began to move, slowly at first. So slowly that Hermione rather thought this was bordering on making love than fucking. Not that she completely minded. She'd been lusting after Malfoy for so long, she'd take him any way she could get him.

Malfoy's hands grabbed each of hers, holding them above her head as he stretched along her length. Their faces were so close Hermione closed her eyes against his icy gaze.

"Open your eyes," Malfoy said and Hermione bit her lip as her eyelids fluttered open. The utter rawness in his gaze was enough to make Hermione gasp. The feel of his body over hers, his skin sliding against hers, and the push and pull of his cock inside her was driving her completely mad. Sex had never been like this before, there was never this much emotion with any of her previous partners. Malfoy's eyes were boring into her and Hermione felt laid bare before him, like he knew all her secrets and accepted them. It was heady. It was intoxicating. Hermione matched him stroke for stroke and when she canted her hips and wrapped her legs around his waist, he drove deeper inside her.

"Draco," Hermione gasped when he began hitting that sweet spot inside her, the one she could never manage on her own.

His pace increased as he grasped both of her hands in one of his. The other trailed down and grasped Hermione's face, willing her to keep looking at him. She'd never had sex like this before, staring into someone's eyes and it was exhilarating and hypnotic.

"Hermione," he groaned and holding her face tightly he pressed his lips to hers, finally closing those grey eyes that seemed to pierce into her soul. His kiss was frantic and addicting as his tongue mimicked his cock. Hermione was right on the precipice when his pace increased further and she felt herself shatter around him. She couldn't keep up with the rhythm of his hips or his lips as her body ignited and clenched around him.

"Fuck," he breathed as he pulled away, dropping his head into her shoulder. A few final thrusts and he came inside her with a low groan. He freed her hands and dropped down on top of her. Hermione ran her hands up and down his back as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Well then," Hermione said finally.

Malfoy chuckled. "That was something, alright."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "I could do that again." She hoped she wasn't overstepping, but Merlin, that had been fucking fantastic and she could absolutely stand to do that again.

Malfoy's laugh vibrated her entire body as he rolled over onto his side, bringing her with him.

"Give me a few minutes before demanding a repeat performance, witch," he murmured into her hair as he arranged her back to his chest.

Hermione smiled happily as she clutched one of his hands to her chest. Coming to the reunion may have been the best thing she'd ever done.

Hermione was warm all over when she woke up and there was something hard poking her in the bum. She stretched with a yawn and rolled over to come face to face with a sleeping Malfoy. He had moved when she did and was now lying on his back.

Hermione moved the sheet off of him and since he was still asleep, she placed a light kiss on his chest. He still didn't move. Grinning, Hermione kissed her way down his chest and stomach, appreciating his form before settling between his legs. He still hadn't woken. Or he had and was waiting to see how far she took this. She placed a kiss on the head of his hard cock, eyeing him through her lashes. He sighed, his head tossing against the pillow. She licked him from root to head and he groaned low in the back of his throat.

Opening her mouth wide, she slid his cock as far as she could into her mouth and she was rewarded with a hand in her hair, tightening as she hollowed her cheeks and sucked.

"Fucking, Merlin, Hermione," Malfoy grunted.

Hermione hummed around him and his hips twitched, his cock hardened further in her mouth. She rolled his balls in one hand and slid her lips down his length again. This time as she came up she pressed her tongue along the underside of his cock quite heavily.

The hand in her hair tightened and his hips jerked as he came with a low groan. Hermione swallowed it all, cleaning his cock entirely before she placed a kiss on the tip of it.

"Get up here, witch," Malfoy urged, pulling her up his body.

She folded her hands on his chest and grinned at him.

"Morning," she said cheerfully.

"Bloody good one," Malfoy grinned and pulled her further up his body to plant a kiss on her lips. "You can wake me up like that any time you want."

"I'll keep that in mind," Hermione murmured back. She hoped that meant this wasn't going to be a one-time thing. Merlin help her, but she needed this to not be a one-time thing.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" Malfoy asked.

~Fin~