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"Why are you sitting up there. Are you making fun of me?" Jasper growls at Amethyst who is seated on a pile of rubble holding a sketchpad that she plans to take notes on. That is what the therapists do in television shows so it has to mean something right?
"No. I'm not making fun of you. Stop trying to make everything out to be a fight." Amethyst said as she settled back. I just think that it would be easier for you to talk if you didn't have to look directly at me." Amethyst said as Jasper snorts in response.
The two sit in silence as Amethyst taps her foot waiting for Jasper to actually break the silence. They sit for almost an hour before Jasper finally sits up.
"Well that wasn't any fun. Thanks for that. All better. Now leave me alone."
"What?! come on dude that wasn't therapy that was us sitting here in silence. I'm only going if you actually open up to me."
"I have no opening's. I'm too good a fighter there is no way that you could get under my guard." Jasper responds from where she is totally exposed on the ground.
"No! I meant you have to be vulnerable. You know. Exposed?" Amethyst says patting her gem as if it were a heart. Jasper rolled over with a snort.
"Are you implying that I am vulnerable? Weak? Exposed? Like one of your pathetic-"
"I came here to help you with your nightmares. Not to get insulted. And the next time I come up here I am bringing a dictionary. You are way too literal. Even for a gem you take stuff at face value way too often. It's weird." Amethyst scolded Jasper who frowns and huffs.
"Fine then. Tell me what do you want me to talk about then? You're the one who keeps on coming up here. You might as well tell me."
"The dreams. The biggest thing that we should work on is making sure that you don't have those dreams anymore." amethyst said seriously. Jasper shrugs.
"Alright. Sleeping was a mistake I just won't sleep anymore." She said with complete sincerity. Amethyst rubs her forehead.
"Okay, possible start. But that means that you still have all of those pictures and thoughts in your head. Which isn't a good thing. Which means that we have to discuss and try to work those thoughts out. That way if you do fall asleep on accident you won't drag Steven in with you." Amethyst said. It was like trying to describe good art to Pearl, Pearl was only interested in hoity toity landscapes, Amethyst preferred abstract expressionism. It made it complicated. And downright frustrating to talk about art.
"Why were you even asleep in the first place? It doesn't seem like your kind of thing." Amethyst asked a lightbulb going off over her head. Jasper shrugs and rubs her shoulder.
"I don't know. Just something to do. It's between training or sitting around. Plus there isn't a lot of light out here to train by when it's dark." Jasper responds. Amethyst nods and scribbles some nonsense down on her legal pad. At least now Jasper was actually talking. She just had to find a way to keep her talking.
"Steven said that you have a lot of dreams. And I was wondering if that was true? When you were asleep did you just constantly dream? What did you dream about?"
Jasper looked surprised for a second.
"I wouldn't expect a runt like you to be interested in hearing about my dreams." Jasper said suspicously. Amethyst groaned and tossed a ball of rolled up paper at Jasper.
"Dude! That's the entire reason why I'm out here! Pay attention for once!" Amethyst was close to screeching. Jasper frowned and furrowed her brow trying to remember what it was she had actually dreamed about.
"Probably just dreaming about the glory days. Back before the diamonds left me here." Jasper said frowning as she gazed up at Amethyst. She didn't like how much taller the little gem was at the top of her massive rock pile.
"Left you here. Why didn't you leave after they were gone?" Amethyst asked. Actually interested. She had been wondering about that for a while herself.
"Where else would I go? I have no one else left to fight. And no one to fight for. If you haven't noticed I am a living weapon. A solider designed to be the greatest fighting machine ever created." Jasper picked up a small stone beside her popped it into her mouth and crushed it into gravel. Amethyst wondered if that was how she made all of her gravel.
"I was their favorite little solider. I volunteered for the most dangerous missions. The most deadly assignments. I was given the hardest tasks. It was good back then. I was actually eager to prove my use to them." Jasper closes her eyes reminiscing about the violent dangerous war filled past. She frowned and shook her head.
"I destroyed a lot back then." Amethyst wasn't sure if she was starting to sound disgusted or remorseful. It was hard to tell with how straightforward her voice always was. She finally sighs in disgust.
"That punk that you follow orders from said to gather up all of the weapons designed by homeworld right? To gather up every destabilizer wand and freezing wand and everything in between?" Amethyst nods. Steven had ordered that. Back at the start of the reformations.
"How am I supposed to turn in myself?" Jasper said holding her hands up. "I only know how to fight. I only know how to be the best fighter that there is. Now I'm useless. All that I can do is train and keep myself sharp until I am needed again. And chances are no one will ever need me." She stops aware that she has been talking too much.
Amethyst nods before shaking her head.
"You shouldn't think of yourself as useless. I'm sure that you can find something else to do with your life! It will just take time and dedication and persistence." Amethyst said. They both groaned before doing a double take.
"What?" They both said at the same time before gazing in shock. Jasper's helmet instinctively came down as she gazed at Amethyst carefully.
"Do you not like doing work that you don't have to?" They both said at the same time before nodding their heads. "STOP COPYING ME!"
Jasper growls as Amethyst falls back and laughs, rolling down the gravel pile still chuckling. Jasper looks on in confusion before looking around wondering if she was the butt of some weird joke. Amethyst just smiled up at her for a few seconds. Before getting serious.
"You're not alone and you're not useless. I'm sure of that. You're like the strongest gem I've ever met." Jasper snorts in response.
"Strongest solider maybe. Not the strongest gem. Besides the diamonds that Lazuli that you are chummy with is much much stronger then me. Not that she would want you to think that." Jasper growls. Amethyst sits up. She had never expected Jasper to open up this much. It was weird. And now they were getting to a rather tender area. She could already tell. Lapis Lazuli.
Amethyst didn't ever really have anything to say to the gem positive or negative. She was just always there. They didn't interact a lot.
"Lapis. Right. I remember that you dreamed about her. Steven showed me." Jasper grunts in response at that. She didn't care about any of them and she hardly bothered to learn their names.
"So tell me about the Lapis dream. Is it the dream that happens the most? Or is it the worst? Please I am interested." Amethyst said encouragingly as Jasper frowns and thinks for a few moments.
"It happens as often as any of the other 'dream's as you call them. It's about as bad as all those others. They happen in cycles. It normally happens right after the dreams of the diamonds leaving. I am in a hallway and they are walking away, no matter how fast I run I can't keep up. And then when I finally do catch up they look down at me and laugh. They laugh and they turn to dust before my eyes. Golden dust that dissappears right in front of me. As if they are going off to do other things and I am just left behind. Just a piece of trash that can be painlessly discarded by them." Jasper growls and punches the dirt hard enough to leave a hole.
She closes her eyes and starts breathing sharply.
"What is happening right now?" She growls out as her helmet appears on her head again. Amethyst gazes at her in confusion.
"I don't know. We can stop if you."
"We are not stopping. I am not weak." Jasper threatens before glaring at Amethyst. "The worst dreams are the ones that just turn out to be memories. Like the one where I break a aliens head open and it's heart falls out. Or when I destroy an entire building filled with intelligent creatures that are all screeching. Or the ones where I stomp a rebel gem on the diamonds orders. Or when my diamond. Pink Diamond told me to squash her rebellion. Those hurt the most. The ones that aren't dreams. But are memories."
"Wait...Did you...Jasper did you murder aliens?" Amethyst asks cautiously wondering just how much Jasper meant to say.
"That was my job! We all did! Every member of the diamond courts from the lowest ruby to a terraforming Lapis has murdered intelligent creatures! Some smarter and more advanced then your oh so precious humans. It was our job. And now I am being told that my job, my entire life and purpose for living was a lie! All of it was a lie! The war I was brought into was one enormous lie made by the one diamond I admired above all..."
Jasper stops and punches her other hand deep into the earth. Her blue and green stripes that intersected and dotted her normally orange and yellow body seemed to be growing a bit. Amethyst held up a hand and patted Jasper's shoulders carefully.
Jasper flinched before gazing down in confusion.
"What are you doing?"
"Comforting you? I think?" Amethyst says nervously. Jasper quirks an eyebrow in response but seemed to be calming down.
"I had no choice. I did what I was ordered to do. Otherwise I would have been shattered. Just like all the gems I shattered disobeyed their diamonds orders. And now? Now I learn that it was all for nothing." Jasper breathes out heavily as Amethyst stares at her. Waiting and watching politely.
"What other choice do I have? Stay here and train waiting for something to happen. Or go to a homeworld that has no need for me? Or go out to a cosmos filled of broken planets that I helped break?" Jasper glowered at Amethyst for a few seconds. "Stop comforting me."
"Sorry sis." Amethyst says pulling her hand back. "It sounds to me, as if you haven't tried anything else. Ever. In your life. Besides being a massive bullying brute. No offense."
"It's accurate." Jasper said her chest swelling with pride.
"And you seem to have no interest in being anything besides a massive destructive force." Amethyst said gesturing around her. "Even though that seems to bring you nothing but these nightmares."
Jasper sniffs and waits.
"If you are suggesting that I go to your lame school to learn how to 'paint' or 'garden' or 'be a better gem' I will shatter you and bury your pieces where-"
"Cool it with the death threats. I don't think that you would do great at little homeschool either. I think that we should keep on discussing ways to work through your dreams. And focus you on something...productive. Productive and destructive."
Amethyst holds her arms out wide with a grin. Jasper thinks for a moment before smirking sourly and nodding.
"Eh. Whatever. As long as I don't have to be among those losers I guess I can stomach it. We will try it your way. Just don't start crying when it doesn't work." Jasper leans back confident that she is unteachable.
Amethyst grins looking forward to making Jasper eat her words.
"Awkward sister hug?"
"What in Yellow Diamonds name is a hug?" Jasper scowls in response.
I own nothing not even this computer. Review. Faster updates if more reviews.