A/N: Thank you for sticking with me. Hopefully I will be back to more regular updates now. Even if it takes me a few days, though, I promise I will never let it get to the point where there are months between updates.

I think you all have been waiting for this one. :)

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon and all characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

Mamoru

Beep beep beep beep

The familiar sound of my alarm clock threatened to wake me, but I would not be thwarted in my efforts to sleep for the rest of time and eternity. It was incredibly difficult to wake up today, so I just decided not to fight it. Sleep felt too good, anyway. And I was especially comfortable this morning. My bed was warm and seemed to embrace me from all sides. For the first time since before I could remember, I felt safe. I ignored the beeping of the alarm and drifted back to sleep, determined to not let anything ruin this moment.

"Mamo?"

That name was vaguely familiar and comfortable, too. Someone had called me that before. Someone I loved. Or someone who loved me. But the deep voice didn't make sense. It should be higher.

"Mamo, it's time to get up."

The alarm stopped. I opened my eyes. Reality came crashing down around me as I realized I was still in Usagi's body and, to my utter chagrin, was laying my head on her broad chest, as she still resided in my own body. One strong arm was wrapped around me, cradling me to her, and one of my own was strewn over her ribs. As soon as I comprehended what exactly was going on, I tore myself away, fleeing the bed and cowering against the far wall, desperately trying to mask my burning cheeks.

"What's wrong?" came the sound of the baritone in the bed behind me.

I cleared the lump that had formed in my throat in an effort to regain my composure. Turning to face her, I found my usual body sitting upright in the bed, eyes full of concern, a pillow held deliberately over her lap. Oh, god. Not again.

"I'm sorry for lying on you like that," I murmured, averting my gaze.

"Don't be," she said with a shrug, a small blush spreading across her own cheeks. "I actually thought it was kind of nice." She did?

"Right. Well. We should get ready for school," I declared, shifting uncomfortably.

"Do you want me to make us some breakfast while you get dressed?" she offered.

"Dear God, yes." I had been ignoring the rumbling of my stomach since my eyes first opened.

"Okay," she said as she rose from the bed, "but I think all you have is rice and natto."

I wrinkled my nose. Although that was what I usually ate every morning, it just did not sound very appealing today. What I wouldn't give for some pancakes. Or donuts. Or maybe a cherry danish with whipped cream and a steaming mug of hot chocolate. But I knew she was right. There were no sugary breakfast items in my apartment. And I was so ravenously hungry that anything would do.

"That's fine. Thanks."

She disappeared from the room then, still in her sweats, leaving me to change clothes and get ready in privacy. I retrieved her overnight bag and fished out the necessary items, dressing mechanically and trying not to think too much about the gorgeous body I was in. It was getting easier. Oddly enough, I was becoming more attracted to the image of my own body than Usagi's. I tried not to dwell on that thought, though.

Now fully dressed, I fastened the brooch in place over her bow as I had always seen Usagi wear it. It was beautiful. I wondered what the story was behind it. Did it come from an ex-boyfriend? A grandmother? I freed my endless tresses from their braids and brushed out the hair as she had shown me last night, starting with the ends and moving up to the roots. The braids had created gentle waves throughout the length of the locks, resulting in a rather stunning effect. I was tempted to leave it down again, but after remembering how well that had turned out for me yesterday, I decided to have Usagi put it up in the odangos for me. I brushed my teeth and washed my face before applying the moisturizer as she had instructed last night when going over her skincare regimen. It was certainly complicated being a girl. At least she wasn't forcing me to wear makeup. That would have been where I drew the line.

When I entered the kitchen, Usagi stopped dead in her tracks, the spoon of natto she was holding clattering to the floor.

"What are you doing with that?" I couldn't interpret her tone. Angry? Scared? Whatever it was, she was unhappy.

"With what?" I asked. I searched my empty hands for what she could be so upset about.

"That." She quickly closed the distance between us and ripped the brooch from my chest.

I had expected her to be grateful, or at the very least, pleased that I had remembered the accessory she wore every single day. Never would I have expected her to react like this.

"Don't you wear that every day?" I questioned.

"Yes. I do. Not you." She was clutching it to her chest protectively.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Sheesh," I said lightheartedly, hoping to alleviate some of the tension. I didn't understand this girl as well as I thought I did.

She sighed. "No, I'm sorry. It's just…" She gazed down at her trinket fondly, stroking it with one finger as she spoke. "It's just really important to me. I don't like to be without it."

Now I was even more curious to learn the origin of that thing. But I didn't want to pry. Instead, I turned my attention to the disgusting bowl of breakfast that had been placed on the counter for me. I had thought that I was hungry enough to eat anything. I was wrong.

"I can't eat that."

She snorted. "I figured."

"Let's stop by the arcade on our way to school," I suggested, knowing I was going to need edible sustenance to get through another day as Odango. Speaking of which. "And can you put your-our-hair up for me before we go? I don't want a repeat of yesterday."

She rolled her eyes at my demands. "You're so high maintenance," she teased with a grin. "It's a good thing you set your alarm so early."

We arrived at the Crown a short time later, both in our school uniforms, Usagi's brooch pinned to the lapel of her blazer. I had argued with her over it, trying to convince her not to wear it, or maybe just not in such an obvious location, but she was adamant that she wear it close to her heart at all times and there was absolutely no changing her mind. I had let it drop, figuring no one really paid that much attention to me anyway. Or least, not until today.

All eyes were on us as we entered the arcade together, most notably Motoki's.

"Mamoru? Usagi? Did you guys come here...together?" He was completely stunned. And with good reason. We had never intentionally spent time together in public and certainly not this early in the morning. Motoki's eyes actually looked like they were going to burst out of his skull.

Unfortunately, Usagi spoke before I could come up with a reasonable explanation.

"Well, this one," she directed a pointed look at me, "wasn't satisfied with natto for breakfast and we didn't have anything else in the apartment."

She couldn't possibly have thought about those damning words before they came out of her mouth. I glowered up at her, wishing the intensity of my stare contained enough energy to shove those words right back where they came from. She returned my stare with a confused one of her own before she realized what she had just said.

"Oops." Somehow, that only made things worse.

I turned to Motoki, his expectant expression only fueling my agitation further. I had to think quickly.

"I stopped by Mamoru's this morning for a last-minute study session. I'm basically failing all of my classes and if I don't pass my test today, I'm pretty sure they're going to hold me back." The returning glare from Usagi confirmed that I had succeeded in my plan to reciprocate the embarrassment she had so graciously bestowed upon me.

"Uh-huh," Motoki replied, unbelieving. He shot a knowing look at Usagi in the silent form of communication we normally shared. His eyes flickered down to the brooch on her jacket and back to her face as he raised an eyebrow. I hoped she didn't know how to speak Guy. "Did you have a good cram session last night, too?" Damn him. He could be a little less obvious.

"No, no, of course not," she denied, her cheeks flushing crimson.

Wonderful. Just what I needed-Motoki thinking Usagi and I were secretly sleeping together. Granted, we had technically slept together last night, but it was nowhere near what I was sure Motoki was imagining. The thought of Motoki picturing Usagi in a compromising situation sent a fresh wave of anger through me and I balled my hands into fists, nails biting into the skin of my palms, fighting the urge to hit something.

"Riiight," he jeered. "So, what'll it be? Two hot chocolates?" He fluttered his eyes at me. I was fuming mad, but I was more hungry than I was angry.

"Yes," I snapped. "And a stack of pancakes. With strawberry syrup. And whipped cream. And a custard donut. And he's paying." I shot another raging glare at Usagi.

"And I want whipped cream on my hot chocolate, please," Usagi added cheerfully. My head fell to my hands. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

The rest of the morning passed with little incident and only a few more innuendos from Motoki. Eventually, we made our way to school, turning a few heads in the schoolyard before going our separate ways to class. Upon my appearance in the classroom, Ami, and Makoto's heads whipped around in unison to stare at me. Makoto had a smug expression stretched across her lips while Ami averted her gaze sheepishly. They knew. Oh, god, they knew. Why did I trust that Usagi wouldn't tell all of her friends? Or that if she told one, that one wouldn't tell all of the others? Girls always told each other everything. Isn't that what people said? You tell one girl something, you might as well tell them all. I slid shamefully into my seat, avoiding their taunting eyes.

Minako arrived then with mere seconds to spare, the bell sounding just as she crossed over the threshold. Her blue eyes sparkled mischievously as they met mine.

"Hey, Usa," she crooned, dragging her fingers along the edge of my desk as she passed. She took her seat behind me and leaned forward, her breath hot and unnerving as it tickled against my bare neck. "Nice to see you this morning, Usa."

I whirled around, gripping the back of my chair feverishly.

"I get it. You know," I seethed.

She clicked her tongue. "My, my, we are testy today." She grinned obnoxiously as her eyes roamed over my form, searching for anything that could possibly distinguish me from her best friend. "If you want to pass as Usagi, you'll have to be a lot nicer than that."

I snorted and turned back to the front. The only thing worse than being stuck in the body of a teenage girl was being surrounded by ones that knew about it.

The pop quiz was predictably easy, although it did make me wonder what kind of a teacher would give a pop quiz the day after an exam. Maybe Usagi's teacher really did have it out for her.

I was absolutely dreading having to eat lunch with Odango's pack of friends, but I wasn't too keen on eating with her, either. It would just cause another scene and, after the one we had made during lunch yesterday, I really wasn't looking for any more attention. Maybe I could sit by myself today. I knew I would never get away with it, though, so I had to act fast.

When the bell rang, I bolted from the room before the others could catch me and ran up the stairs to the roof of the building, as far away from their designated tree as possible.

It was peaceful up here. A gentle breeze rolled billowy clouds across a cornflower sky and danced with my hair, the golden tendrils reflecting the warm sunlight. For the first time today, I felt like I could breathe. There were no eyes watching me, no pretense to uphold. I could finally relax. I sighed and began to play absentmindedly with a long strand of hair. I wondered how Usagi's morning had gone. Probably better than mine. Her calculus exam wasn't until this afternoon and I was still a little nervous for her, even though she had aced all of the sample questions in the textbook last night. I was sure she would be fine. My nerves, I realized, were more out of concern for her own confidence than for whatever grade she would attain. She would be fine, I reassured myself again.

The click of the stairway door drew me from my thoughts and I turned around curiously to see who had joined me on the roof. It was a boy I vaguely recognized from Usagi's class. He was tall and blonde, his hair gelled back out of his eyes, his frame thin but strong, although less muscular than my own. I would have thought he was good looking if I were a teenage girl. Okay, I was, technically. But this body wasn't reacting to him the way it reacted to mine. He must not be anything special to Usagi.

"Hey, Tsukino," he called as he made his way over to me. "I thought I saw you sneak up here." So he had been looking for me.

I smiled politely. "What can I do for you?"

He sidled up beside me, leaning casually against the railing. "You know, we've never really had much of a chance to talk before."

I didn't have any frame of reference, so I just went along with it. Although there was a small knot forming in the pit of my stomach. "I guess you're right."

"I would like to get to know you better," he continued. "Why don't we go out for dinner tonight and you can tell me all about yourself?"

The knot tightened. "No, thank you." I was doing my best to be polite but leave no room for discussion. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm not interested."

"But I am," he persisted, straightening up. His eyes raked over my body once and I clenched my jaw in response. "You're a very pretty girl, Usagi."

So that's what the knot was: the female instinct telling me this guy was a creep and to stay far away. Instinctively, I took a step back from him. Although, had I been in my own body, I was sure the instinct would have been to take a step forward and deck him in the mouth.

"Leave me alone," I warned.

He matched my step. "Wouldn't you rather be alone with me?" He looked around us. "It is pretty romantic up here, don't you think? Just the two of us."

He made a move to reach for me and my adrenaline kicked in, arching my arm back before letting it fly unchecked into his arrogant face, my fist connecting with his jaw and issuing a sickening crack from one of us.

"OW!" we wailed simultaneously. He clutched his jaw with both hands, blood seeping from his mouth and dripping between his fingers as I shook out my tender knuckles. It was a vastly different experience punching someone with these tiny little lady hands.

"What the hell, Tsukino?" he barked.

Instead of answering, I sprinted past him, more concerned for his own health than my own if I were to stick around for even one more minute.

Is this what Usagi had to deal with on a regular basis? That bastard was right: Usagi was a beautiful girl. I wasn't blind to the fact that practically every boy in her class stole glances at her when they thought I wouldn't notice. Many of them had worn faces of disappointment when they saw her arrive this morning with an upperclassman. Either she was completely oblivious to the fact that every guy in the school wanted to get in her pants, or she was better at taking care of herself than I had given her credit for. I didn't like either of those options. Usagi was the kind of girl that should be taken care of. She deserved to have someone watching out for her, someone protecting her. I guessed that, for now, that someone would have to be me.

Usagi

I could do this. It was just a test. And I actually knew the material this time. I would be fine.

With a deep breath, I straightened one of the pencils on my desk, aligning it with the other in proper test-taking fashion, as Mamoru had shown me. It seemed silly to me, having a designated spot for every item on your desk, but it seemed to work for him. And it was helping to calm my nerves. Maybe there was something to having a routine.

The teacher passed out the exams, placing each face down on our desks and murmuring a private word to each of the students as he passed.

"This should be an easy one for you, Chiba," he said with an encouraging clap on my shoulder. I nodded silently. Everyone had confidence in Mamoru.

When all of the tests had been distributed, he indicated for us to flip them over and begin. We had forty-five minutes.

At first, it seemed like everything was written in a different language. The numbers and characters swam in front of my eyes in a jumbled mess and I struggled to even make sense of the instructions. I reminded myself to breathe. This was Mamoru's brain, after all, and he knew how to solve these problems. We had discovered last night that his brain still retained that ability, regardless of which of us was the one using it.

With newfound confidence, I skimmed over the problems again. They were finally making sense. I found my pencil already flicking away on the paper and tapping the eraser against the calculator buttons. This was easy peasy. For the first time in my entire life, the answers came quickly and easily. The more sure of myself that I was, the easier it became. It was almost fun. I could see now how Ami was able to spend so much time studying. I never could understand what she meant when she said it was enjoyable, but I guess anything could be rewarding if you were good at it. Lucky, smart people.

I completed the exam with time to spare and spent the last several minutes checking my work-another first. It proved unnecessary, though, because I hadn't made any mistakes. All of my math was perfect and my notes were clear, yielding the same results each time. It felt good having this kind of confidence in my abilities. Maybe it wasn't so bad being stuck in this body.

The test had been scheduled for the end of the day. After this we would be released from class and I could go over to Ami's to discuss things with the girls and let them poke at me like some kind of science project. I wasn't looking forward to that. And I wasn't looking forward to their barrage of questions, either, especially if they were anything like the ones I had already received from Rei. Ami and Makoto should be more mature than that, but there was no hope for Minako. She was the helpless romantic of the group, after all, and there would be no dissuading her from any discussion about boys.

I sighed and massaged my temples as I waited for the bell to ring, the exam still resting on my desk as had been instructed. I just hoped Ami and Luna had some good ideas. We were lucky to have gone one night without a youma battle. Two would be pushing it. I needed to get back into my body before the next monster attacked.

Finally the bell sounded and I stood from my desk, carefully gathering my things and placing them into my school bag before heading for the door.

"Chiba! Wait up!"

I turned to find the same boy from yesterday morning trotting toward me. I really hoped he didn't want to ask me about homework again. It was hard enough to fake it the first time and I wasn't sure how long I could keep up the charade.

"Hayashi," I had discovered his name during attendance. "What's up?"

He fell in step beside me as we walked down the hall.

"You know Suto?" he asked, adjusting his glasses awkwardly. I racked my brain for who he could be talking about. I hadn't really learned anyone else's names. "Suto Emiko?" he prodded.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm bad with names."

"She sits behind me," he clarified. "With the short, dark hair?"

"Oh, right. Suto. Yep." I had no idea who she was, but I played along.

"Well, she obviously knows who you are," he said. "She never shuts up about you, actually."

Did Mamoru have a secret girlfriend? Impossible. I had never seen him with a girl. I assumed he went on dates, of course, how could he not? But if he had a girlfriend, surely I would have seen them together at the arcade or at least at lunch. Maybe she was a secret admirer.

"Really?" That was a safe answer. Didn't give away too much.

"Yeah. She knows we walk together sometimes, so she's always asking me about you. She asks me where you live, what you eat for lunch, what music you like. It's a little creepy, to be honest," he muttered, averting his gaze. Ah, so he was jealous.

"Huh," I said.

We had left the school building and we're crossing the yard toward the sidewalk. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the girls standing with Mamoru under our tree. I gave them a quick wave. They nodded in return.

"Anyway," he continued, peering around me to see who I was waving to, "I guess she saw you show up at school with some blonde girl today and she wouldn't leave me alone until I promised I would ask you who she was."

Wow, this girl really did have the hots for Mamoru. I felt bad for her. I had no idea who she was and even less of an idea what Mamoru thought of her. And now Hayashi was talking about her and spilling her secrets to her crush. Poor girl. I didn't have anything I could say, though. I felt like I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. I might as well tell the truth. Well, part of it anyway.

"That was Tsukino Usagi. She's an underclassman." I tried to be nonchalant.

"Are you guys dating?" He wasn't beating around the bush.

I wasn't really sure what Mamoru thought of me, either, aside from the fact that he found me physically attractive. But we certainly weren't dating. Although last night had been intimate in its own way.

"No, I was helping her study." I repeated the story Mamoru had fabricated this morning.

"She's really good-looking, according to Suto." He was fishing, trying to feel me out. What could I say?

"Yeah, I guess." That was the truth from Mamoru's perspective, right?

We paused at the gate. I would have liked to walk to Ami's with the girls, but that might be a little weird. I probably needed to check in with Mamoru, too. Either way, I wanted to end this discussion as soon as I could.

"Are you going to ask her out?" He obviously wasn't going to quit, either out of his own curiosity or because he was trying to gage his chances with this Emiko girl.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, leaning against the fence. "Hayashi, if you like Suto, you should just go for it."

He blushed so strongly that his glasses steamed up from the heat of his cheeks.

"What? No. What are you talking about? Why would you think that? I don't like Suto." He stammered and stumbled over his words in his embarrassment. "Besides," he swallowed to cover the crack of his voice, "she asked me to give you this."

He produced a folded pink paper from his pocket and handed it to me. I sighed. It was a love letter, for sure. I didn't want to deal with this. And for some reason, I wasn't particularly thrilled with the fact some girl was confessing her love for Mamoru. I would just have to give it to him later, I guess.

"Okay. Thanks." I pocketed the note.

"Aren't you going to read it?" He was probably hoping he would be able to see what it said.

"Maybe later," I offered. "I've actually got to talk to Tsukino again before I leave. I'll see you on Monday," I hinted.

"Right. See you Monday," he said, a little dejected. But that didn't keep him from lingering as I approached my friends, no doubt trying to steal a peek at the blonde Emiko had told him about.

It was a different blonde that approached me, though. One with bright shining eyes and a smirk on her pink lips, her hair pulled back in a red bow.

"Hi, Mamoru," Minako crowed. Mamoru groaned behind her. She had probably been doing that to him all day, even though she was supposed to be playing it cool. I couldn't trust Mina to keep her cool about anything, though. It looked like the cat was out of the bag.

"Hey Mina," I replied. "Ami, Mako. It's so good to see you guys." It had been another lonely day without my friends. I hadn't sat with them at lunch because it would have been suspicious, so I had eaten by myself. And Mamoru still didn't appear to have any real friends, aside from Hayashi, who was more of a pest than a friend.

"Well, hello to you too, Odango," Mamoru snapped. What was his problem?

I ignored him. "Should we get going then?" I asked, mostly to Ami.

"What? Where are we going?" he demanded.

"You are going back to my house while we try to figure this out," I commanded him.

"Don't you think this concerns me, too?" he retorted, indignant. "Why can't I come?"

"Because, one of us needs to say hi to my parents and get more clothes for the weekend, and it sure as heck can't be me." I placed my hands on my hips, towering over him in the small body he had stomped over, almost nose to nose.

His eyes searched mine for a moment before he relented. "Fine. But Dream Mom better have more cookies for me."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Dream Mom?"

"I don't know your mother's name!" He threw his arms in the air, exasperated. That's when I noticed his swollen hand, knuckles turning blue from some kind of impact.

"Oh my god, Mamo, what happened to your hand?" I caught it in the air and brought it close to my face for examination. It looked like he had punched a wall.

"Mamo?" Mina repeated. I couldn't get anything past her.

Mamoru yanked his hand out of my grasp. "You need to start carrying pepper spray. In fact, I'll go get some while you guys have your secret girl meeting or whatever." He turned on his heel, golden pigtails whipping around his shoulders as he stormed off.

"What was all that about?" Mako asked, green eyes wide.

"I-I have no idea," I whispered. "You guys don't know?"

All three heads shook in the negative.

"He must have hit somebody," I wondered aloud.

"Now that you mention it," Ami chimed in, "Maeda's jaw looked a little swollen after lunch."

Oh no. Maeda had been pestering me for weeks for a date. I had been turning him down politely each time. I wasn't interested in him. Sure, he was handsome, but something about the guy made me uneasy. And it wasn't nearly as fun to talk to him as it was to talk to some other cute boys I knew.

"You guys didn't see what happened?" I asked.

"No, we didn't see you-I mean Mamoru-during lunch at all," Mako answered. "He disappeared as soon as the bell rang."

Great. Just great. Now I was going to be branded as the girl who punches boys that ask her out.

"Oh well," I sighed, brushing it off for now. "I guess I'll find out later. We should get to Ami's before Rei has to wait around too long. We don't want her burning down the place." The girls chuckled with me as we headed down the sidewalk.

Suddenly, there was pandemonium as a deafening explosion echoed against the skyscrapers, rubble and grit crashing all around us. The blast had come from my left and destroyed an entire building along with it. From the smoke and ash, a gruesome youma rose high in the air above the ruins, cackling darkly. It held a long, barrel-like arm in front of it, pointed at the building across the street.

"Kaboom!" it howled as it launched a projectile from its cannon, the missile striking the high-rise with another uproarious concussion.

On instinct, the girls and I ducked into an alley as we had done countless times before. I pulled the brooch from my chest and thrust it into the air.

"Moon prism power make up!"

In a swirl of flashing lights and pink ribbons, I was transformed once again into Sailor Moon, my tiara spreading across my forehead and the blue skirt of my fuku rustling over my hips. I didn't know how many times I had transformed, but I could always count on the Silver Crystal to supply me with power when I needed it, no matter the circumstance. And this time was no different.

Only, it was different.

My fuku had sprung from the crystal and clung itself to my body as it always did, but it wasn't my body.

It was still Mamoru's body.

The short skirt danced against muscled hips, barely covering the bulge in the center, and revealing toned, hairy legs beneath. Tall, leather boots suctioned to the shapely calves, emphasized by the high heels, stopping in a point just below squared knees. My gloves were stretched over large hands and long fingers and my bow bounced against a broad, chiseled chest. Oh, god. If it was this bad looking down at myself, I could only imagine the horror the other girls were looking at.

"Sailor Moon…?"

Three sets of eyes stared at me in stunned bewilderment as the Sailor Senshi absorbed their leader's new appearance.

Sailor Jupiter's mouth hung open, her eyes fixed on my legs, while Mercury stood in silent shame beside her. Venus's face was alight with mirth as she struggled to hold back a laugh.

"Don't. Say. Anything," I ordered in the bellowing baritone of a man.

"Aye, aye, cap," Jupiter chanted, giving me a two-fingered salute before doubling over with laughter. Venus joined in and eventually Mercury did too, unable to resist any longer.

I was mortified. Sailor Moon was supposed to be the Pretty Guardian of Love and Justice. Not the Macho Beefcake of Crossdressing and Nightmares.

"Sailor Moon!" came the call from the neighboring rooftop. The voice was high and clear, a feminine voice full of power.

Was this a new enemy?

I scanned the skyline in search of the voice. Eventually, my eyes fell on a petite figure, almost drowning in an oversized tuxedo. The coat sleeves drooped limply by her sides, hanging well past her hands, and the pants were bunched around her ankles yet still dragging beneath her glossy, black shoes. A silk tophat stood between blonde buns atop her head, golden pigtails dancin in the breeze as she looked down at me with burning intensity behind a white mask.

What.

The.

Hell!?

"We can talk about this later," she ordered. "Right now, there are people who need your help!"