A/N: I know the last chapter was a little sad and this one is kinda heavy too, but we should be back to the comedy in the next one. I'm also going back and adding titles to all the chapters with lyrics from the song that inspired the fic's title: I Am the Walwrus by the Beatles. It was really fun for me. I hope you enjoy them.

This story is going to be wrapping up soon, so be sure to leave your reviews and submit any requests for what you'd like to read before it's over!

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon and all characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

Usagi

Mamoru couldn't be Tuxedo Kamen. He just couldn't be.

I sat on the sofa in Ami's living room, face in my hands, pondering the events of the afternoon. Luna and Artemis had been waiting for us to arrive and now they, along with the rest of the girls, were all helping Ami ready whatever nightmares she was preparing for me in her mother's office. Which left me alone to stew in my misery.

It just didn't fit. Tuxedo Kamen was dashing and daring, heroic and handsome, kind and supportive and every kind of wonderful. He was always there for Sailor Moon, putting her life ahead of his own on a near daily basis. And Mamoru was...well, baka!

But that wasn't entirely true. I had seen a very different side of Mamoru these past few days. He had been nice to me. More than once, even. He had been respectful and courteous. He opened his home to me without a second thought. And I still wasn't sure what had happened at lunch today, but it seemed like he had defended me in some way.

And was every bit as handsome as Tuxedo Kamen. I wasn't blind. In fact, he was even more stunning without that stupid mask obscuring his sapphire eyes. I had just been suppressing my attraction to him for years because I thought he hated me. And now I knew he hated me. Maybe he could be both: a charming hero and an absolute idiot.

This had ruined everything.

With a growl, I turned and punched the nearest pillow, throwing all of my frustration into the hit. It released its feathers with a puff and they scattered across the navy cushion like snowflakes in the night.

"Wow, I'm usually the one that does that," Mako remarked. She was looking down at me, her hands on her hips, her eyebrows raised in used surprise. "I just replaced those pillows last week."

"Well, I'm angry," I snapped. That was the best word to describe the tumult of emotions that had been raging inside of me for the past few hours. I also felt a little guilty about destroying Dr. Mizuno's new throw pillow.

"I can see that." She sat down in the matching armchair beside the sofa and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, hands clasped in front of her. "Wanna tell me why you're angry?"

Honestly, I wasn't totally sure. Things were just not going well. I was frustrated with our apparent standstill against the enemy, I was disappointed in the discovery of Mamoru being Tuxedo Kamen, I was hurt by his words, I was embarrassed, I was lonely...all of these feelings were swirling together inside my brain and forming one giant, angry tornado.

I shook my head. "There's just a lot," I summarized.

She nodded, her brown ponytail bouncing as she did. "Hey, I get it," she said. "It's easier to just get mad than to deal with what you're really feeling."

"What are you talking about?" I hissed.

"I've had my fair share of being angry, believe me. It must be scary, having to face all of this at once," she sympathized. "But you're not alone, Usa."

I looked away, trying to hide the hot tears swelling in my eyes.

"I know you're stuck in his body, but you're not Mamoru. You are still Usagi. You're still my friend. You have lots of people who love you, Usa. You have all of us. And your family. And Luna and Artemis. Even Mamoru, I bet. And we're all here to help you, if you'll let us."

She was right. And normally I would be going to my friends at the first sign of conflict. But lately I had found myself retreating inward. I didn't feel like I had anyone I could talk to about what I was experiencing. True, I had been relying on Mamoru for comfort in our commiserating, but he had let me down. Made it worse, in fact. And it was probably my fault. Everything was always my fault. Mako was right that I didn't know how to deal with what I was feeling and so instead I was mad and I was lashing out. But I didn't know how to do anything about it.

Mina entered the room then.

"We're ready for you, Mamoru." I hurled a pillow at her head and she dodged it at the last second. Damn. "Hey!"

"Would you give it a rest already?" I barked. I was so tired of these girls and their games.

"Sheesh, grumpy pants, okay." She held her arms up in defense, anticipating another attack. Instead, I followed her down the hall to the office they had been preparing. "You know, you make a mean boy, Usa."

"Shut up."

Dr. Mizuno's office was something between a regular home office of a remote worker and a triage room at a hospital. Mina held the door open for me and the sharp smell of antiseptic stung my nostrils as I stepped unger the fluorescent lights. In one corner sat an ornate, mahogany desk fitted with a high tech computer and a state-of-the-art-looking microscope system with Ami already typing away furiously. In the opposite corner was an adjustable bed with a tray rolled up beside it adorned with sparkling, silver instruments that looked suspiciously like needles and other pokey tools. A long counter ran the length of one wall with Luna and Artemis perched atop it, flicking their tails nervously.

I attempted an escape.

"Oh, no you don't."

Rei was already behind me. She had been hiding behind the door, expecting me to flee. She knew me too well.

To say I hated needles would be a colossal understatement.

Her hands gripped my arms firmly and she pushed me toward the bed with surprising force.

"You are going to let Ami run whatever tests she wants," Rei ordered, shoving me down to sit on the bed. Mina and Mako were flanking her, blocking the only means of escape.

Sweat sprang out along my forehead and under my arms. "Please, guys, no needles," I whimpered.

Mina chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?" I demanded through clenched teeth.

"Sorry, it's just hilarious to watch a grown man so afraid of going to the doctor."

"Shut up," I repeated. She only laughed harder and Mako smacked her lightly in the arm as she suppressed a laugh of her own.

Ami finally decided to chime in.

"Sorry, Usa, but I do want to get a blood sample." Traitor.

I groaned. "Fine. Just do it quick."

It took all three of the girls to hold me down while Ami retrieved a blood sample from my arm with what I swore was the world's biggest needle. I flailed and fought against them and, unfortunately, Rei had sustained a kick to the ribs in the process.

"Damn, Usagi!" she swore as Ami examined her, prodding her side with a gloved hand. "This hurts way worse than the puny attacks you usually dish out."

"You'll be fine," Ami diagnosed. "Nothing's broken. You'll just be bruised and sore for a day or two." Thank goodness for super healing or I would never hear the end of this from Rei. "Now, for you, Usa."

Dr. Ami took a few drops from the vial and placed them on a glass slide before tucking the vial into a menacing machine. She then secured the glass slide under the microscope. This room had everything. After a few minutes of analysis and a full body evaluation, (oh, the humiliation of dropping my pants in front of four teenage girls), Ami offered her assessment.

"Well, as far as I can tell, everything looks normal. From a medical standpoint, you are, inarguably, Chiba Mamoru."

I groaned again. "Anything else you can tell me, Doc?"

"I do want to run a scan on your brain," she said, causing me to stiffen on the bed.

"You're not going to put a giant needle through my skull, are you?" I fretted.

The other girls snickered at me, but Ami remained composed, ever the professional.

"No. I wish I had an MRI here, but we would have to go to the hospital for that. Instead, I'm just going to connect a few wires to your skin with these sticky pads." She held out a flat, white circle for my examination. It seemed innocuous enough. "The wires will connect to my computer and record your brain waves."

"Okay," I allowed.

Once I was all hooked up and feeling a bit like something out of a black and white horror movie, Ami ran the program on her supercomputer and watched the results with an unsettling frown.

"Well?" Luna prodded, leaping to Ami's shoulder to peek at the screen. "What does it say?"

"Her brain patterns are still distinctly feminine, although becoming less-so," she stated. "According to this data, your unique patterns are projected to dissipate and normalize in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours."

"Meaning…?" Mina asked.

"If only have about two days to figure out how to switch you back before you become Mamoru completely."

I stalked down the streets of the Juban District, the tornado still raging inside me and my stomach churning along with it. Luna ran alongside me to match my pace.

"I'm sure we will figure it out, Usagi. It'll be alright."

"No, Luna, it won't be alright," I argued, not bothering to stop. "Because I can tell you right now, I am not going to do what Ami said." I thought back over the recommended treatment plan Dr. Ami had provided and shuddered. "There is no way under the moon that I am going to kiss that baka. Or myself, for that matter." I lengthened my stride in an attempt to avoid the feline and this conversation.

"You're being unreasonable," she chided. I rolled my eyes. "You have a responsibility to find and protect the Moon Princess. How can you do that if you lose your identity?"

"I'm not planning on losing my identity, Luna." The only recognizable emotion simmering inside of me at the moment was anger. "I'll figure something else out."

"You should at least try Ami's suggestions. The data said that-"

"I know what it said!" I rounded on her, my hands clenched into fists as I shouted. Several pairs of feet skidded to a stop around me as the passing pedestrians rubbernecked at the lunatic screaming at a cat in the middle of the sidewalk. I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing my rage to recede as the people resumed walking past. "I think I just need some time to myself to think things through." I struggled to keep my voice even.

"What about Mamoru? Won't he be with you?" she queried.

"I don't know and I don't care." I continued walking.

"And you don't want me to stay and keep an eye on you tonight?" She followed me again. Her voice was tinged with concern.

"No, I really don't." And I didn't want to explode unfairly at her again. She was just trying to help. "You should stay with Artemis and see if you can come up with anything else while I try to get a hold of myself."

Luna seemed reluctant, but finally she acquiesced. "Okay. You have your communicator now, right?" Rei had snuck into my house during her lunch break to retrieve it for me.

I sighed and held up my wrist, showing Luna the bracelet stretched tight across the skin. "Yes."

"Just call us if you need anything, then." She turned then and, with a final glance over her shoulder, Luna left me and headed back to Ami's house as I made my way to Mamoru's apartment.

I was staring into the fridge, scanning the various produce and leftovers for something to eat. Nothing sounded good. Not even leftover pizza, which was normally one of my favorite foods. I slammed the refrigerator door shut and yanked open the cupboard above it. Surely some chocolate would do me good. But as I looked over the many sweets stashed away for occasions such as this, my stomach turned. Chocolate didn't sound good, either.

My body was tingling and twitching with anxious energy and my legs were aching. I felt like a dog that had been cooped up in the house all day. I needed to run, I realized.

I quickly retrieved a set of sweats from Mamoru's dresser and threw them on, preparing to run of my own free will and choice for the first time in my life. His running shoes were easy to find in the carefully organized shoe rack and I tossed my keys and brooch into my pocket before heading to the streets of Tokyo.

The sun was just beginning to set, turning the lingering smoke and ash a foreboding shade of garnet. My feet pounded into the cement, driving the discordant energy out of my body and into the earth. I pumped my arms as I ran, forcing myself to move faster. My breathing came naturally as I found a comfortable rhythm. This body was able to run without feeling like it was going to die. Lucky bastard.

I let my feet guide me as I blazed through the Juuban district, eventually finding myself in a park. This must be where Mamoru usually ran. The overhanging trees provided small relief from the glowing sky and the wind began to move again, swirling errant leaves around my ankles in it's timid breeze.

Why was I so angry? It was as if I couldn't discern one emotion from another anymore and they were all being converted into testosterone and adrenaline. Maybe I really was slowly becoming Mamoru as Ami had said. I was feeling more distinctly male. That must be where all of this aggression was coming from. I was losing touch with my feminine side.

That's when I saw him. The poor unfortunate soul to get in my way.

Maeda Ren.

The cocky, arrogant bastard who somehow thought I owed him a date and was now harassing Mamoru about it. It looked like he was out for a run, too. Just perfect. But surely he didn't know who I was. I told myself to ignore him, to run past the blonde and say nothing. And I would have been successful. But he was the one that approached me.

"Hey, Chiba!" he barked, coming to a stop in front of me. Apparently, he had figured it out.

"What?"

He gave me a once over. In this body, we were about the same height, he might have been slightly taller, but I knew I had more weight on him. Mamoru was incredibly well built and I knew first hand just how strong he was from the countless times he had saved my life, lifting me into the air like I weighed nothing at all.

"Are you dating Tsukino?" he demanded. Like I was his possession and Mamoru was stealing me from lasciviously stealing me away.

"What's it to you?"

"Tsukino's mine. Stay away from her." Did those words really just come out of his mouth?

I surveyed the purpling bruise along his jaw and his swollen lip. Mamoru had landed a good one on him at lunch. My poor hand though. I wondered in the back of my mind if he had broken it.

"Looks like you're the one who needs to stay away from her or that little girl might beat you up again." And I totally would, too.

He grimaced. "This is the last time I'm going to warn you, Chiba," he spat. "Stay. Away. From Tsukino."

Before I knew what was happening, I was on top of him. I had knocked him to the ground in less than a second and I straddled his chest, knees pinning his arms to the ground, one first clamped around his shirt as the other pummeled his face over and over again. I couldn't stop. I hated this guy. It felt like he was the source of all of this anger and to make it stop I had to make him stop breathing. Each connection of my fist with his face just fueled the fire and my rage grew instead of fading.

"Usagi!"

The voice ripped me from my murderous rage and I was pulled from the water I was drowning in. I scanned the trees for its owner.

Rei.

"Stop it! Get off of him!"

I looked down at the boy beneath me, barely conscious, his eyes rolling languidly in his head.

Oh my god. What had I done?

I leapt off and put as much distance between us as possible while Rei hurriedly crouched over Maeda, assessing the damage. I could tell from where I stood that I had busted him up pretty badly. His nose and lips were bleeding, one eye swelling shut, dark bruises already blooming along his jaw and cheekbone. This guy could arrest me for assault. Maybe that would be a good thing, though. Lock me up before I could commit another felony.

I frantically scanned the park for any witnesses. Thankfully, no one was there besides the three of us.

"He's going to need a doctor," she said.

"No, he's not." I stepped up to the pair on the ground. "I'll take care of him."

"Usagi, no!" Rei cried, rising between us and throwing her arms out defensively.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to kill him," I explained. "Tuxedo Kamen has healing powers. He's used them on me before."

"But...but you're Sailor Moon. You can't use his powers," she protested.

"Don't you think it's worth a shot?" If I was becoming Mamoru more and more, maybe I could tap into his powers as well.

She seemed to debate that for a minute before finally stepping aside and allowing me to kneel beside the groaning boy. I hovered my hand above his face and concentrated, searching for the source of energy the resided inside Mamoru. I found it in the same place I always found mine, deep within my chest. But it felt different than the power I used for Sailor Moon. This one was warm and steady. Geez, I could have used that a few minutes ago.

I called upon the energy and felt the warmth travel from my chest, down my arms, and out of my hands. Maeda's features began to transform, his nose straightening and his cuts closing before my eyes. I didn't want to heal him completely, though. He needed to remember not to mess with me. Once his wounds were reduced to moderate swelling and bruising, I released my hold on the power and let it retreat back to its home in my chest.

Rei stood silently over us, watching in amazement.

"I didn't know Mamoru could do that."

I shrugged. "I've only seen him do it once."

A groan drew our attention back to the injured boy below us. He continued to moan wearily as his eyes came to focus on my face. He immediately stiffened and shifted backward, scooting away from me on his behind. If I hadn't just beaten him within an inch of his life, I would have been tempted to laugh at his pathetic crab walk.

"S-stay away f-from m-me, Ch-chiba," he stuttered.

"And you stay away from Usagi."

He offered a single nod before rising to his feet and bolting from the park faster than I have ever seen a normal human run. I couldn't help myself from chuckling darkly.

"Usa," Re scolded. "I can't believe you're laughing! You could have killed him!"

I sighed. She was right. It was a lucky coincidence that she happened to be in the same park at the same time. Or was it?

"What are you doing here, Rei?"

Her blanched, her face starkly white beneath her onyx hair.

"Oh, you know," she answered nonchalantly. "Just out for an evening stroll…"

"Luna told you to spy on me, didn't she?"

"Maybe."

"Damn."

"Why don't you come back to the temple with me?" she pleaded.

"So I can Yuuichirou to a pulp when he looks at me sideways?" I shook my head. "I don't think so."

She assessed my expression, probably trying to decide if it was safe to leave me alone or not. The odds didn't look good.

"Look," I offered, raising one arm, "I do solemnly swear not to leave my-Mamoru's-apartment again tonight, okay? I'll meet up with him again in the morning."

She wrinkled her nose at me. "Alright," she relented. "But no promises that someone won't be watching your building."

"Fine," I conceded.

We stood there awkwardly for a moment, not sure how to end our exchange. Normally after an emotional event, Rei would offer me a hug or words of encouragement before parting ways. But as it was now…

The raven-haired priestess took a timid step toward me with her arms slightly extended. "Would you like a-"

She was cut off by my hand covering her mouth, holding her face an arm's length away from my body.

"Don't even think about it."

Was it always this quiet here? The only sounds came from the street below, bustling with cars and people despite the late hour. Well, it was a Friday night in Tokyo, after all. Plenty of people were out on the town enjoying the company of friends or dates. Thousands of people were sharing romantic dinners, watching movies in theaters, dancing in the clubs. But not me. I was already in bed, alone in this dark, cold apartment, thinking about the boy whose words had cut my heart out for him to stop into the dirt.

What was Mamoru doing right now? He could be anywhere. Was he playing at the arcade with Motoki? Having a sleepover with the girls? Oy maybe he was in my own bedroom doing unspeakable things to my body.

I groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers up over my head to try and block the images from entering my mind. I had always thought that Mamoru could never think of me the way I thought of him and now it was confirmed. Whatever he was doing, he sure as hell wasn't thinking about me.

Fortunately for me, this body was used to a rigid sleeping schedule and I was able to lose myself to sleep and temporarily release the burdens that plagued my mind.

Gentle arms held me to a soft body in a tender embrace. It felt familiar, like this person had held me many times, but I couldn't remember who she was. My eyes were pressed tightly to her bosom and I had no way to see her face.

"Please don't cry, my little princess."

I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"Princess?" I echoed, sniffling. "I'm no princess."

"You will always be my little princess." A slender hand stroked my hair lovingly.

"Who are you?" I wondered, still held in her arms, too afraid that she would disappear if I broke our embrace.

"I cannot tell you that. You must remember."

"Remember what?" I didn't feel like playing riddles.

"You are so close, my darling. Please, don't push away the people that love you."

I wasn't pushing her away. I was holding on for dear life. What could she be talking about?

But then she began to dissipate and my arms went through her, wrapping around themselves as she vanished. And I never even saw her face.

It was pitch black here. I couldn't see anything. All I felt was cold.

"Hello?" I called out. To her. To anyone.

I received no answer.

"Is anyone there?" I tried again.

Still nothing.

"I don't want to be alone," I whimpered.

"I'm here," answered a voice. It was deep and soothing and just as familiar as the arms that had held me before. I knew this voice, too, but whose was it?

"Where are you?" the voice asked urgently.

"I don't know," I said. "It's so dark...and I'm so cold."

I sat on the frigid ground in the cold nothingness, my arms still tied around myself.

"Don't move," he instructed. "I'm coming to find you."