A/N: Written for the Draco's Den FB group's Half-Blood Prince competition in 2020. This is round 1 which was the Hiccoughing Solution Potion. I was given the choice to include at least two of the following: Alphard Black, Albus Severus Potter, and Tom Riddle. Many thanks to my beta, LumosLyra, for her attention to detail. Thank you!

If you liked this (or hated it) let me know about it in a review! I made a manip for this, you can find it on my Tumblr at crochetawayhpff, search for Dracos Den.

Summary: Albus has a bully problem. Alphard has just the solution for him.

Pairing: Gen - Albus Severus Potter & Alphard Black

Rating: T

Warnings: Revenge

Peace

It was Alphard who had given him the idea.

Where his father had unearthed the portrait, Albus didn't know, but it had been in Grimmauld Place for as long as he could remember. Albus liked Alphard—he was funny, self-deprecating, and a Slytherin, and while Albus had a lot of feelings about being a Slytherin, most of them bad, Alphard seemed to understand. The summer after his first year at Hogwarts, he'd asked for Alphard's portrait to be moved to his bedroom. His mum hadn't been certain having a sentient portrait hanging in his room would be conducive to any sort of sleep, but Alphard had promised her he wouldn't be a bother.

Albus liked having Alphard in his room since he was a good sounding board for things he couldn't talk to his parents about, like how Tomas Nott was the biggest prick in Slytherin. He was a year older than Albus and had made it his business to make Albus's life a living hell since he was a firstie. Since Albus was going to be a fourth year this year, he was ready to finally do something about Nott. Something more than just ignoring him and hoping he would go away.

"Hiccoughing Solution," Alphard said definitively.

"Really? Doesn't that wear off after a few hours?" Albus asked as he flipped through one of the books full of schoolboy jinxes and potions from the Black family library since his parents had locked up all of the good books. While he didn't want to hurt Nott―not permanently anyway—he did want to send a clear message that he was not to be messed with. Not anymore.

"Yes, but I know a slight modification that can make it last ages longer," Alphard replied.

That got Albus' attention. His brow furrowed as he glanced at the portrait to see Alphard looking exceptionally nonchalant, but Albus wasn't fooled. He'd already spent three years as a Slytherin and had learned a lot about half-truths and white lies in that time.

"How much longer?"

Alphard's smile was decidedly wolfish. "That depends. Do you want to torture him for life… or just for a while? We could tie the potion's effect to an apology, perhaps."

"You can do that?"

"Och, I forgot who you were raised by. Of course, you can tie potions to other forms of magic. That damned school doesn't teach enough of the nuances of magics." It was a common complaint of his companion that Albus's father didn't have a wizarding family to teach them and his mother's wizarding family was distinctly modern in the way it behaved toward its children.

"While Nott is the most annoying person I have met, I don't want to give him hiccoughs for life," Albus drummed his fingers along his chin, thinking.

"Too soft," Alphard muttered, but Albus ignored him.

"I do like the idea of tying it to an apology. I doubt he will apologize but at least he would have an out."

"There's my boy," Alphard smiled in approval.

Hiccoughing Solution was a fifth year brew, so while it was a little above Albus's experience, Alphard was there to guide him along the way. Sometimes, Albus wished he could take Alphard to school with him. It would have been handy those first few years, for sure, although he also knew that if he brought a portrait to school it would be just another thing for Nott to bully him about.

The variation Alphard taught him turned the liquid Hiccoughing Solution into a fine powder.

"Much easier to distribute," Alphard had told him. "The more he comes into contact with the powder, the bigger the impact"

"What does that mean? Are the hiccoughs more aggressive or something?" Albus pursed his lips.

"Or something," Alphard hedged raising an eyebrow.

Albus knew he should question Alphard harder, but honestly? The idea of Nott being stuck with the hiccoughs for an entire school year seemed worth it after everything Nott had put him through. He carefully packed up the powder and hid it away in his school trunk, so neither his parents nor his siblings would stumble across it.

It was easy for Albus to sneak into the fifth year boys dormitory a few weeks into the school year. Nott had already hexed him twice in as many weeks, and Albus was ready for his payback. He hadn't even told Scorpius his plan because he didn't want it getting around the rest of the house.

He lifted the lid of Nott's trunk and sprinkled the powdered Hiccoughing Solution liberally among his things, as well as between the sheets on his bed. Since Nott was a year above him, Albus was thankful that he wouldn't have to listen to Nott hiccough all night long.

The effects of the powdered Hiccoughing Solution were immediate. The moment Nott came into contact with it, he began hiccoughing and didn't stop for the remainder of the year. At first, a few of the professors assumed he was doing it on purpose and assigned him detentions for distracting the class.

Albus thought he should probably feel at least a little bad about that, but he didn't.

He wasn't sure that the Hiccoughing Solution would be enough to prevent Nott from bullying himself or others, but it turned out that the mystery of why nothing he did would get rid of his hiccoughs consumed all of Nott's free time. After all of Madam Pomfrey's solutions failed, Nott spent the rest of the year in the library researching remedies. Albus decided if Nott still hadn't figured it out by the time his seventh year rolled around, then he'd give him a nudge along. As it was, Albus thoroughly enjoyed the peace.

~Fin~