Nymphlopedia
Entry 85: Disarray Nymphs
Beginning AN:
This one was spired by a SpongeBob episode I hadn't seen! You can probably tell which one.
"Both of you have been to the Bizarros before?" Tania asked.
Sonata just wordlessly nodded, while Vince said "Plenty of times."
"Well... no two Bizarros are the same. No one Bizarro is the same for long. Be prepared for anything.
They were standing in front of a wall with a giant bounder with a lime exclamation point crudely painted on it, in the middle of a cavern.
Taking a deep breath in, Tania knocked on the boulder, it rolled out of the way, and the trio began walking in.
...
Well, at the given moment, the inside looked like a bright green sky was in all directions - even though it was still underground. There were some patches of land, having trees of various random appearances, most commonly ones made of blue mud that leaked a pink sand-like substance from their leaves, and their stumps all bent abruptly at odd angles. Homes floated in the air, many having faces painted on them and being built in odd curvy shapes (that was actually not a part of the biome, they were just homes designed by pretentious artsy Nymphs). A bus-sized object resembling a mouth made from clay also vomitted grape soda in a waterfall that lead to the far depths below, where it got sucked in to a mini black hole.
"Yeah I've seen this before." Said Vince.
Sonata shrugged. "Disarrays, am I right? Kinda quirky but you'll get used to them."
"...Okay, really? There's a reason why I put off going here for so long... I thought it would be dangerous."
A door with wings fluttered over to the Trio and landed on the base of the cloud-like ground they were standing on. The wings shape-shifted in to a pair of very muscular arms, which swung the door open, revealing a Nymph with a faded lime coloration standing in front of a field of static.
Tania, Vince, and Sonata all immediately did a habit of theirs whenever things like that happened in the Disarray Bizarros: they walked around to the other side of that door to see what surprises waited in store for them. To their actual surprise, they found Sophia and Ada. Riding on colorful pipes that were being formed out of nowhere in the black void that lied behind. Both were nude as usual, and both were enjoying themselves.
"This is nice!" Sophia said. "It's educational and fun! I can figure out an efficient method of transporting things with these randompipes! I love weird science!"
"Sonata I think this would fancy you!" Said Ada.
"Ah, you're right, but the thing is, we're kind of here on a business thing..." Said Sonata.
The lime Nymph had since stepped around and gave the gang an exhausted expression while she had her arms behind her back. Except for when she patted the tiny book that was embedded on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but Lindsey is figuring out how to weaponize Bizarros at a terrifying pace." She said. "We might have to destroy this biome outright. Globally. So that she doesn't use it to manipulate the laws of reality."
"What? No... I like it here!" Sonata said. "It's like a fun little pocket of nonsense."
"AND IT'S A PART OF THE ENVIRONMENT!" Tania shouted, much, much louder. "HOW COULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER DOING THAT?! That's... that's... ecocide! I don't even know if that's a word or not-"
"Actually it is." Vince said.
"Oh, good! But I do not stand for ecocide! May all the Thousand Biomes live on and flourish!"
"Calm down, Tania, I know how you feel. I'm just saying, it will be there as a last resort."
"It shouldn't be a resort at all! Argh... how many keys do we have?!"
Several key-looking things that flew by flapping arm-like growths from them flew over to Tania. Their multiple eyes looked at her.
"No! Not you! The keys guarded by the- forget it!"
Disarray Nymphs.
In a land where nothing can be trusted and rules seem thin, there is still one constant: Nymphs cannot be trusted either. That has not changed.
(Note from Sonata: Also, NYMPHS STILL WILL NOT WEAR CLOTHES. PERIOD. RULE #1.)
Preferred Environment: Disarray Bizarros.
Environment Threat Level: Dangerous? Might be worse?
Environment Stats: Varies, typically moist. Varies, typically temperate. Fantastic. Very rare. Outright bizarre areas that appear to defy the laws of physics or consistency; see Tania's comment.
Other Names: Chaos Nymphs (not to be confused with the forces of the Hallow), Random Nymphs, Bizarro Nymphs, Wacky Nymphs, Weird Nymphs, Cuckooland Nymphs.
Affinity: Fire.
Color: Dull Lime.
Traditional Costume Weapon: A small object resembling a book with text difficult to read without a magnifying glass, which can painlessly be applied to "stick" on to the skin. The texts are enchanted to explain the laws of a given specific area of the Bizarros at a certain time, and the book itself helps the Nymphs with commanding the forces of chaos in the biome that "distort reality," allowing them to have (to different degrees, elite Nymphs are better) some control over the "weirdness." The books may also change in length as necessary.
Vince's Comment: What the fuck. That's all I have to say, really.
I wasn't expecting there to BE an explanation. I thought it was physically impossible to explain this. Or, at the very least, if someone DID it'd be interrupted or drowned out so that us poor simpletons couldn't hear it and risk losing their minds. Like where Springfield is on the Simpsons. (Note from Sonata: Nah that's 100% bullshit. Unless someone does magic shit on purpose to, like, keep people from reading up about them, like how all the entries on Fallacy just stZrt meltiZg wZen you try to reaZ up on her.) Instead Tania pulled out this massive chalk board and... wow.
ZZZ Editors, yes, I'm still hiding information about myself. Let this be a warning. If these three rebels try to document me, they'll pay the price, and so will you. Good thing they're only focused on Lindsey and her army now, hee hee hee! ZZZ
Sonata's Comment: Mind-blowing in bed. 10/10.
...
Suprisingly most of the ones we met are serious and don't like jokes that much. I guess that's what happens when you live in a world where flying pies dash over to hit your face. You stop taking shit real quick. By the way, don't eat any pies there. Period. Even if they're ones you brought from home.
Tania's Comment: Disarray Nymphs.
Nymphae Chaus.
To the untrained in nature, the Disarray Bizarros may seem to be places where the laws of physics or reality aren't there and randomness runs triumphantly. The truth requires knowing about spacetime's flexibility: These areas are pockets of warped spatial fields caused by a powerful clash of subquantum forces disrupting patches of spacetime and atomic connections, causing subsets upon subsets of rules that are different from our own. Such as the square-cubed law not applying to some situations, resulting in giant insects.
(Note from Sonata: What the fuck are you talking about? There's giant insects all the time everywhere else! Those FUCKING SPIDERS...!)
Spiders are not insects.
(Note from Sonata: That's not the- I mean spiders should-! That... Antlions? Those are insects, right?)
They already have the mystic forces brought from the essense of the heat and sands of the Desert to allow them leeaway from the square-cube law. Mollie and I explained this in detailed in the Unabridged Bestiary, which I told you to read before we go on to battle Lindsey directly.
(Note from Sonata: Oh, forget it!)
Regarding quantum laws, the natural subatomic rules of perception still rule, and the warped electron pulses can "enter the mind" to create a world based on the subconcious, which is more powerful with sapient beings, explaining why many of the oddities correspond to things that would be "bizarre" to us, hence the number of features involving faces or humanoid anatomy that otherwise has no reason to be there. The special soil and stone nicknamed disarrayland is the main cause of these phenomina, which is why Clentaminators are able to quickly alter its properties and make the biome appear to be more "normal" to sapient beings.
In short. Yes. This is another Natural Biome. Not an Evil Biome. Not a "Good Biome." There's a related Nymph, Gaia or Pan or the Torch God whoever the fuck thinks this is natural. I'm sick of having to explain this.
Closing AN:
Another change. I'm thinking about swapping the Affinities of these and Nuclear Nymphs. Like, I left a note to myself asking why I put the Nuclear ones as Wind instead of Fire.
"How would this work if it was actually part of the game exactly?" Uh... I've only seen a little of it so far but... like a T-rated Cloud Cuckooland from Banjo-Tooie? "That doesn't really fit with Terraria" I mean. That's kind of the point. Just a few years ago I'd probably be downright... "uncomfortable?" just throwing in a completely batshit insane land of randomness in to a setting that otherwise didn't have one, and I'd PROBABLY not throw one in to an original story world where it wouldn't be suited (IE, you're not getting RandomLand in Joy Roy or especially Hexadecisland) but... meh.
Yeah I thought since (most of) my original stories won't go in this direction and Terraria's already kinda wacky as-is, why not have a full-blown "area of weirdness," and then on top of that provide something resembling an actual explanation to it, which in of itself can be seen as the joke. Also, include some hints of an actual story there.
Speaking of that actual story (although this will likely be more relevant to my T-rated story rather than RTLD, but what the hell, and I wrote that before I decided to switch her from a Lindsey mook), you're also probably wondering who "Fallacy" is. Well, for once, instead of telling you to wait until later or read Romancing the Last Dryad when it's out, I'll just explain it loud and clear right now: Fallacy iZ tZis mZmZZr of Zn illZZZZZist spZZZZZ ZhaZ ZZZZZ szroglgsvgifvhornvprmt