Match #21: Mario & Link vs. Donkey Kong & Fox
The Question: Who's better: Miyamoto's heroes or the Furry Animals?
Stage: Congo Jungle
The Background: Since this is Lemmy's match with color commentary, I'll let him take it from here.
Lemmy: Hello again, folks. It's your favorite Superpower, Prince Lemmy Koopa!
Crowd: (Cheers)
Lemmy: Thank you, thank you. Today, like last time, I will have color commentary. I apologize that I couldn't get King Dad for this match, but I've got one of my favorite brothers with me, Iggy.
Iggy: Hi, folks. Iggy Koopa here, and I'm going to be commentating with Lemmy today. And WHY DID NOBODY VOTE FOR ME?! HMMM?!
Lemmy: Calm down, Iggy.
Iggy: I'm calm... I'm calm.
Lemmy: Well, here's how this match got decided. (pops in video tape)
(On tape, Mario, Link, Fox, and DK are playing Super Mario Kart 64)
Link: Almost there...
Fox: Not in your life! (Toad rams into Bowser, Bowser is unphased)
Link: Nice try. (Bowser hits Toad, sending him into a spinout)
Fox: !
Link: And I win!
Mario: (Mario zooms past Toad with a Mushroom boost, claiming second place) Ha! I get second. (Toad recovers and runs through the finish)
Fox: Grr...
DK: You're cheating!
Mario: No we aren't, you two are just bad.
Link: Either that or we're that good.
DK: ARE YOU CALLING ME A BAD PLAYER?!
Link: No, I'm calling you a terrible player.
DK: Oh, okay then... HEY! Want to settle this in the ring?
Mario: I think we do.
DK: (to Fox) You in?
Fox: (nods)
Link: Fine, we'll just have to cream you.
Mario: I'll do to you what I did to your father!
DK: HA! I was beating you when I was only TWO!
Mario: I've beat you in every tournament we've both entered! Kart, Party, the second Kart races...
DK: Then lets go! We'll meet you in Congo Jungle in (looks at his hairy wrist) one hour!
Link: Fine.
Fox: Be there or be square!
Link: Umm... aren't you two going to go prepare for the match?
Fox: Why should we leave? Why don't YOU leave?
Link: This is my house.
Fox: (looks around, the cow moos at him) Umm.. You're right. (He and DK walk out)
(The tape stops.)
Iggy: So where are they?
Lemmy: Relax, there's a minute left until Showtime.
Iggy: I think I see them!
Link: (rides in on Epona. Malon is riding behind him)
Lemmy: And it appears that Link's brought a little lady to cheer for him.
Iggy: They better make sure Powers doesn't see her. The way he runs this place he'd probably make them get married.
Lemmy: Yeah... here's Mario entering the arena! He's flying in on a winged cap.
Iggy: And Fox has flown in on an Arwing.
Lemmy: Falco, Slippy, and that rabbit guy are headed for the "Fighters Friends" seats in the crowd.
Iggy: Peppy.
Lemmy: Huh?
Iggy: It's the rabbit's name. Peppy.
Lemmy: Umm... look, a Barrel has appeared on the field, and out pops DK!
Iggy: The fighters are headed toward their spaces.
Lemmy: And for the twenty-seven in attendance, and the (counts on fingers) eighty-two reading worldwide...
Iggy: LETS GET READY TO SMASH IT!
Lemmy: Don't you mean rumble?
Iggy: No, that's trade marked. And they're off!
Lemmy: Lard boy seems to be off to a good start, teaching the ape a history lesson.
Iggy: Link and Fox are dueling, too bad they can't figure out what weapons to use.
Link: A true hero uses a blade! Ever watch Star Wars?
Fox: (at the same time) A true hero uses a blaster! Ever watch Star Wars?
Lemmy: And a bang bang here, and a chop chop there.
Iggy: Don't look now, but an item has fallen on the moving platforms!
Lemmy: (doesn't look) What kind of item? I can't see!
Iggy: You can look...
Lemmy: It's a fan! And DK grabs it!
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Iggy: But DK doesn't have any fans! So Mario steals the item!
Lemmy: Meanwhile, Link and Fox have a long range duel!
Iggy: Link's boomerang seems to be doing the trick.
Lemmy: And an crate falls! DK grabs it!
Iggy: The IDIOT! Mario gets him with an Ultimate Punch and he's outta there!
Lemmy: Not quite, Spinning Kong caught the edge.
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Iggy: Link seems to be doing well himself. He's gotten in close to Fox!
Lemmy: But misses the stab! DK has knocked him over!
Iggy: And Mario jumps down for a real battle.
Lemmy: I can't keep track of the battle!
M72 L112 DK93 F126
Iggy: It looks like Miyamoto's Heroes are winning. And Link's knocked aside.
Lemmy: He throws a bomb into the group and BOOM! DK and Fox are blown away as Mario has a near-death experience.
M115NDD1 L134D1 DK0D1 F0D1
Iggy: Mario dances a little as Link waves to Malon. The crowd starts a chant.
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE AN L!
Crowd: L!
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE AN I!
Crowd: I!
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE AN N!
Crowd: N!
Captain Falcon: GIMMIE A K!
Crowd: K!
Captain Falcon: WHAT'S THAT SPELL?
Crowd: LINK!
Malon: HUNK!
Iggy: And here come the Furry Fighters.
Lemmy: But first, an item crate has fallen!
Iggy: Link smashes it open!
Lemmy: And it's a hammer!
Iggy: DK and Fox are gonna get creamed!
Lemmy: And the mighty plumber wielding the magic hammer shall defeat the ape.
Iggy: Umm... wrong proverb. Link has the hammer. And the hairy ones are gone as soon as they come to the screen!
Lemmy: Here's the right one: (reads) When the Hero of Time wields the megaton hammer, he will crush all evil.
M115D0 L134D0 DK0D2 F0D2
Iggy: Whatever...Anyways, the Furry Fighters are back, and Link has lost his hammer.
Lemmy: And DK and Fox are attacking Miyamoto's Heroes relentlessly, but Link and Mario manages to get a few shots off.
M137 L162 DK23D2 F17D2
Iggy: And Mario is thrown by Fox!
Lemmy: But he hits a capsule in the throw, breaking it open!
Iggy: He's down, but Link grabs the Heart Container! The Hero of Time is healed!
M0D1 L0D0 DK41D2 F26D2
Lemmy: Link gets off a Spinning Sword attack!
Iggy: And you gotta thank Din for that one!
Lemmy: It's Farore!
Iggy: No, Din.
Lemmy: No, Farore gives the spinning sword attack!
Iggy: No, it's DIN!
Lemmy: Whatever...Mario's back! And it's time for a full scale battle!
Iggy: A Mario Tornado throws DK into the air!
Lemmy: And the Hookshot sends Fox onto the moving platforms!
Iggy: Fox picks up a Bob-Omb! He throws it at Link!
Lemmy: Link dodges!
Iggy: And DK gets an earthquake attack off on Mario!
M32D2 L25 DK72D2 F61D2
Lemmy: And it's almost over!
Iggy: It's not over till the fat lady sings!
Lemmy: And Link picks up a Pokéball!
Iggy: Jigglypuff, I choose you.
Lemmy: Huh?
Iggy: Fat lady singing.
Lemmy: Oh. There's just one thing. She's banned from the Stadium until Valentine's Day.
Iggy: Oh.
Lemmy: Next time, read what happened in the past.
Iggy: Okay, okay...back to the match, Link throws it down!
Link: POKÉBALL, GO!
Lemmy: And it's a Beedrill! He throws it down! Fox and DK are BOTH hit by the Beedrill swarm!
Iggy: And Link jumps and hits them with his sword!
Lemmy: And that did it! They've taken too much damage! The Beedrill kill Fox and DK!
This games winner is...The Green Team!
The better player of the team is...Link!
Post Match
match21a.g.i.f* / Insert image of Link & Mario running the locker room*
The winners head towards Powers...before Malon jumps in.
Malon: (runs toward Link) You won! (kisses him)
Mario: Umm, I wouldn't do that in public if I were you.
Link: Why not?
Mario: You're only 17.
Malon: So?
Powers: (walks in) Oh. Link's got a girlfriend. I think it's about time that you two get married now.
Link: Look, mister. I might have been kissed by girls before, but I'm staying a bachelor. Later, Powers. (swoops up Malon, jumps on Epona, and speeds away)
Mario: (shrugs and walks away)
VGW: (enters and heard what happened) I told you that this wasn't the Super Smooch Stadium.
Powers: SHUT UP!
VGW: Fine, be that way. (leaves)
(Meanwhile, in an open field...)
match21b.g.i.f* / Insert image of Ness talking to Paula and Poo outside*
Ness, Jeff, and Paula are telling jokes together.
Ness: So the lawyer says, forget the sappina, my monkey doesn't DRIVE a Lexus! (Paula and Jeff laugh)
Paula: Do you hear something? I sense something wrong.
Jeff: Umm, I don't hear anything.
(The figure comes closer, and it is none other than the worlds most popular pokémon trainer, Ash Ketchum.)
match21c.g.i.f* / Insert image of Ash Ketchum approaching Ness, Paula and Poo.
Ash meets Ness.
Ash: Ness, I need your help.
Ness: You're Ash...
Ash: Yes... Pikachu has asked me to help fight Kirby and Kirbetty with him, so that they wouldn't beat up Jigglypuff anymore. But I need to learn to fight!
Ness: And I'm the only ten-year-old in Super Smash Stadium?
Ash: (nods)
Ness: Paula, Jeff, we are gonna teach Ash some fighting tactics...
1. What did you think of the match?
2. Will Mario & Link taste tag-team gold?
3. Will Powers realize that he can't marry every staff member out there?
4. Will both Ash & Luke Skywalker become fighters in the SSS, or will just one of them come (Han) Solo? And just who are Jeff and Paula anyway?!
Head here & cast your reaction.
Sprites Credits:
1. Mario sprites created by Xander of Xereus
2. Link sprites created by SemiJuggalo
3. Ness sprites ripped by The Chan Man
4. Jeff & Paula Sprites cripped by Tornberry2K
5. Backgrounds by Patrick V