A/N I'm so sorry for the long break. I had another project I had to finish by the end of this summer. But I'm back and I promise to finish this story. Sooner or later, but I will finish it! ;)

Although on the first night in the Sharpe house Antonia went to bed in a miserable mood, the next days brought some improvement. Mrs. Jane was friendly towards her, sometimes even too friendly, reminding Antonia of the elderly ladies from their Spanish neighbourhood who would exclaim loudly every time they saw her, telling her what a pretty young girl she was, before they even had the chance to take a good look at her. Not that she thought herself particularly ugly. Antonia had always viewed herself as completely average, though Jacinta had often repeated that her somewhat exotic looks inherited from her father were bound to attract young gentlemen one day. Antonia had never seen any proof of that yet, but her hair, fairer than most of her friends', and her greyish green eyes would sometimes cause questions from the people she'd met. One day Antonia, irritated with their curiosity, had decided to secretly sit in the sun until her skin got tanned, so that she would look no different from Jacinta. Unfortunately, all she had achieved was sunburn, bright red and painful, then after a few weeks her skin had returned to its pale colour again, so after that one try, she had given up and tried to accept her looks.

Still, she was rather surprised when during their first breakfast together, Jane Sharpe made a comment that her stepdaughter looked like a true Englishwoman. Antonia wasn't sure it made her happy, but she supposed it was meant as a compliment, so she thanked Jane with a smile, and sensing opportunity, asked if perhaps it meant she looked like her father. Before she answered, Jane eyed her for a moment, slightly tilting her head, which reminded Antonia of one of uncle Frederico's dogs.

"Maybe a bit," she finally answered. "But you are much prettier than him, luckily," she laughed suddenly.

Captain Johnson snorted under his nose.

"Not that it's difficult. At least you don't have any scars."

Antonia tried to recall all Jacinta had told her about her father. She couldn't remember anything about scars. According to Jacinta, the Colonel was a handsome man—tall and slender, with fair hair and blue eyes. Maybe he had acquired some scars in some of his latter battles? Although she was curious, Antonia didn't think it proper to ask.

"Did you fight in Wellington's army as well, Captain?" she asked instead.

Embarrassment on Johnson's face immediately told her she guessed right. Frederico Moreno had known many officers, and some of them had been frequent guests at their house. Many had been happy to chat with the daughter of La Aguja, whom some of them had once known. Antonia had quickly learned to recognize those who had fought the French and those who had never spilled any blood other than at a hunt. Johnson was the sort of person who loved boasting and being the centre of attention—had he served in the actual war, he would have talked about it more than once by now.

"Not everybody is lucky enough to be able to go play a hero in a foreign land, my dear," he finally answered reluctantly. "However, someone needs to stay home and make sure the heroes have somewhere to come back to when they get enough of victories and medals."

"Ah, so that's why you're still a captain?" Antonia tried to bite her tongue, she really did, be she couldn't restrain herself from this little jibe. "In Spain it is very difficult to get promoted if one does not distinguish oneself with some brave deed on the field of battle." She had no idea whether it was true, but she suspected that neither had Johnson.

"I have always thought Spain was a bit backward when compared to us," muttered the captain, his face bright red. Then he excused himself and left the dining room in a somewhat rushed manner.

Only then did Antonia remember she had made a strong resolution to show only her best side. She sent Mrs. Sharpe a worried look, ready to apologize, when she realized with surprise that her stepmother was trying to suppress a laugh.

"Well played, my dear," Jane whispered when she saw her efforts were in vain. "You are your father's daughter, after all."

It was the second time it seemed to Antonia that Jane was not particularly fond of her cousin, even though the woman tried to hide it, and this time miss Moreno thought it could be something they both had in common. A good starting point to establish some thread of understanding.

"Does the captain live here permanently?" she asked quietly.

She had already met all the members of the Sharpe household. There weren't many: Mrs. Sharpe, her young maid Rose and the couple of elderly servants — Jedediah, the drunk, and his fat, lazy wife whose name Antonia hadn't yet heard.

Jane shook her head.

"No, he is... he is just taking care of us when Richard is away."

"And which room belongs to Colonel Sharpe?" Antonia asked curiously. She still couldn't find the courage to use the word "father" here.

Jane was quiet for a moment, as if pondering on her next words.

"We share only one room, Richard and me," she finally said. "You see, my dear... It's really hard to admit, but you are family, after all... We have some financial difficulties. We cannot afford a bigger house, and this one has not enough rooms."

"Oh. And I occupy one now..." Antonia felt bad. Suddenly, she straightened, driven by a new idea. "Maybe I could help? I have some jewellery, I could..."

"Oh, my dear girl!" interrupted Jane loudly. "I could never take your poor mother's jewellery from you! We will manage somehow, I still have a few dresses I could sell..."

Her stepmother's protests only convinced Antonia more she was right. She began to urge Jane even more vigorously, so much that she stuttered a bit on some words, even though she had already been used to speaking English on a daily basis. Finally, Jane gave in. Antonia picked the silver necklace she had been given by uncle Frederico for her fourteenth birthday — not the most valuable one, but expensive enough. Despite everything, she wasn't yet ready to part with the things she knew her mother used to wear. But she told herself that if necessary, she would sell everything. First and foremost, she didn't want to be a burden to the Sharpe family. And Jane's tearful thanks only assured her it was the right decision.

They spent the afternoon together, accompanied only by Johnny, who still avoided Antonia as much as he could. Johnson never came back, and Antonia was close to regretting her rude behaviour in the morning, but she didn't have the time to ponder over it too much. Jane seemed to be in a much better mood. She talked almost non-stop, telling her about the house, the garden and her plans regarding both. Johnny was sitting in the corner, occupied with his tin soldiers, and Antonia kept quiet most of the time, partly because she didn't want to interrupt Jane, partly due to the fact that when she made sure the conversation would not touch the subject of Colonel Sharpe, she stopped paying attention. Pretending she was still listening, she nodded her head and threw in some remark from time to time, spending the rest of the time daydreaming, mostly about her father and his return.

"Do you play, my dear?"

The question surprised her and it took her a painfully long moment before she realized that unknowingly, she had been staring at a small spinet standing in the corner of the room.

"Yes, Madam, but not very well," she answered finally.

But Jane began insisting that Antonia must sing something for them, and Miss Moreno had no choice but to yield. At first she wanted to sing a Spanish song, but then she realized that all she knew in her mother tongue were simple folk songs she had learned from Jacinta as a child. Flora had been her real music teacher, and having to play as well, Antonia felt more at ease in the English repertoire, even though she was afraid her foreign accent might make the familiar songs sound strange to Jane. She sat at the instrument and rested her trembling fingers on the keyboard. She had no real gift for music — at least that was what she had always heard from Flora — but she had always liked to sing as she worked, and when forced, she was able to sing a few songs more or less in tune.

I'll mount the air on swallows' wings

to find my dearest dear,

she started in a quiet, shaky voice. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Johnny raise his head from his tin soldiers and turn towards her. For the first time since they had met, he was looking directly at her. Antonia smiled slightly, then continued with a bit more confidence:

And if I lose my labour

And cannot find him there

I quickly will become a fish to search the roaring seas

I love my love

Because i know, my lover

He loves me[3].

3. "Mount the Air" is a traditional song from Dorset; new verses were added to it by a band called The Unthanks. I highly recommend their version.