A/N: Written for DFW's Lady Plunny July Camp Nano quest! This was heavily inspired by the TV show Survivor, of which I've been watching back seasons of for the last few months. No beta, just Grammarly. Enjoy!

If you liked this (or hated it) let me know about it in a review! You can find me on Tumblr at crochetawayhpff or Facebook at Shan Crochetaway. Enjoy!

Summary: Hermione and Draco end up shipwrecked on a deserted island. Despite all of Draco's complaints, Hermione is able to make it at least somewhat palatable for them both.

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy

Rating: M

Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Stranded, Desert Island Fic

Shipwrecked

"I am never going anywhere with you again," Draco told Hermione as they both clambered out of the sea and onto the beach, letting the tropical sun dry their clothes. They watched as the remnants of the yacht they had been traveling on, slowly bobbed and then sank beneath the waves. "Do you have any idea where in the world we even are right now?"

Hermione frowned, looking around the spit of land they had washed up on. There were loads of palm trees, heavy with coconuts, more brush, and what looked like actual jungle and little else. Almost no sign of humanity, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. At least the weather was decent, warm, but not too hot, though the sun was blazing down at them, there wasn't a cloud in sight.

"Somewhere tropical?" she offered with a shrug.

"Somewhere tropical? Tropical? Really, Granger?" Draco was almost apoplectic, his face turning red and he was breathing heavily. "We're fucking lost. Admit it. We're lost in some backwoods wasteland and we'll never be found until we've starved and only our bones remain."

"Oh, calm down, Draco," Hermione replied, rolling her eyes. "Not everything is so dramatic. I've watched loads of Survivor. I'm sure we'll make it long enough to get home."

"I understand the words you are saying, but not the context," he shook his head in disbelief and walked away down the beach. They had kicked their shoes off in the ocean in order to swim better and unlike touristy beaches, this one was full of sand crabs, rocks, and broken shells. It wasn't nearly as comfortable to walk on as the types of beaches she was used to.

She followed Draco, frowning at his back as he ranted to himself under his breath. It wasn't nearly as terrible as he was making it seem. The people on Survivor had it way worse. Hermione had her wand, she could make fire, create a shelter, even lure fish in for food. They walked for what seemed like ages, but then Hermione began recognizing where they were.

"Draco, stop," she said, pulling to a halt and looking around. Yes, she was sure of it. That coconut tree looked exactly like the one she had first examined. Either Draco didn't hear her or he was ignoring her. "Draco, stop!" she said more forcefully, but he kept trudging on.

She ran after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face him. "We've already walked around the entire island."

"What? No, that's not possible." He shook his head, looking around and then seeing their faded footprints in the sand. The wind had done its job in mostly covering them, but they were there. "Fucking hell."

"Listen, let's look through the interior and find a place to make a shelter for the night," Hermione said.

"Make a shelter?!" he yelped. "With what?"

"Uh, have you forgotten you're a wizard?" she asked. "Did you hit your head on the way off the yacht, Draco?" She reached a hand up to examine his head and he swatted her hands away, backing up.

"No, but I did lose my blood wand, you twit. So unless you've managed to hang onto yours, we're still fucking doomed."

"Yeah, I do have mine," Hermione said, pulling it out of the special pocket she had made in all her clothes. It included a very specific sticking charm she had created that meant that her wand could only be removed by her hand. Even taking an unplanned dip in the ocean did nothing to disturb it.

"And you're just now telling me this?" he asked, throwing up his hands. Hermione sighed. She had forgotten how easily Draco reverted back to being a prat the moment he was out of his comfort zone.

"You know what? Why don't you go sulk by the beach and I'll take care of getting us shelter and a fire started, alright?" Hermione said, offering him a smile while trying to keep her cool.

Once they had shelter and the food and water situation sorted, then she could begin figuring out just where in the world they were. And once that was done, she could start figuring out either Apparition coordinates if there was land close enough, or Portkey coordinates if not. An illegal Portkey would not be something she normally condoned, but in a case like this, needs must. It wasn't like it was her or Draco's fault that their boat had an engine malfunction that caused a fire. It had happened so fast, the only thing they could do was jump overboard and save themselves. Thank Godric they had left the kids at home for this anniversary trip.

As much as she loved her husband, she wished he handled emergencies just slightly better than he did. The panicking and blaming and name calling were a bit much and they'd definitely be having a discussion about that, just as soon as they got back to civilization.

Having watched every season of American Survivor and all of the European versions she could get her hands on, Hermione was well versed in what made a good shelter. But, since she had a wand, she didn't need to toil braiding palm fronds to create a makeshift roof or hacking up bamboo for a sleeping surface. Instead she walked through the tree line and found a small clearing. There she laid a few palm fronds, a few sticks, some rocks and within moments had a proper looking English cottage. It was small, she and Draco really only needed it for a couple of days, but it was homey enough. She had even included a hearth and chimney.

Another twirl of her wand and she had dried wood hurtling through the air and landing at her feet. She'd need to scope out some fresh water, but a rock made a fine Transfigured pot to boil the water. Another couple of rocks and she had a canteen for both her and Draco. Despite the emergency nature of it all, she was having a bit of fun, recreating her own little version of Survivor. A few more palm fronds and sticks and she had a decent bed, up off the floor and covered in mosquito netting.

Once she had everything settled at camp, she went to see if she could locate a source of freshwater. They could always desalinate ocean water and then boil it if they had to, but that was an extra step, and she wasn't quite sure of the spell for desalination and she was sure that Draco didn't know such a thing. He wasn't very outdoorsy and it had taken all of her convincing to get him on a yacht to go sailing around the world.

She gave a little dance when she found a stream not too far from the clearing where she had set up her cottage. It flowed out into the ocean and looked as if it had fresh water fish in it, so she filled her pot and brought it back to the cottage to set it on the fire to boil.

All that done, she went to go find Draco at the beach. He was sulking with his trouser legs rolled up and sitting on a rock that jutted out into the sea, kicking the waves as they came in. He had his oxford tied around his head in an attempt to keep the sun off of his face and was shirtless.

"This beach is full of crabs," he complained on her approach.

"Sounds like food to me," she said, trying to hold back a grin.

"Food? Those tiny crabs are not food, Granger." He glared at her, his skin was already turning red and Hermione frowned. She should have remembered to put a sun block spell on him.

"Come on," she said. "I've set up a little camp, you need to get out of the sun."

He sighed and gathered his shoes, following her inland down the small path.

"You did all this?" he said, his voice full of awe as he took in the small cottage.

Hermione nodded. "I told you, I've watched loads of Survivor. I think I've thought of everything, though they don't usually get such nice accommodations." She grinned at him as she led him inside. The inside wasn't exactly a luxury resort, but even Draco couldn't complain about the comfortable furniture she was able to Transfigure. He practically cried as he laid out on the sofa.

"Let's get a cooling and healing charm on you," Hermione said, kneeling at his side and inspecting his face and chest.

"Anything to get me naked, eh Granger?" he grinned at her. Seemingly happier now that they had a roof over their heads.

"Hush," she admonished him as she applied the appropriate charms. Draco groaned in relief and she had him roll over on his stomach to do his back as well. She couldn't help admiring him, despite all his complaining, she didn't think she would ever love anyone as much as she loved him. Leaning over, she placed a small kiss right between his shoulder blades and wasn't surprised in the least that he let out a soft snuffling snore. The fire on their yacht had occurred in the middle of the night, so they were both low on sleep.

She left him to his nap as she pulled the boiling water off of the fire and set it aside to cool. She left the cabin to gather a few coconuts and see if there was anything else around that was easily gathered for a small dinner. Once they had a good night's sleep in, she felt pretty confident she could begin figuring out exactly where they were.

By the time she got back to the cabin, the sun was setting and Draco was sitting upright on the couch, looking around sleepily.

"Hey," he said, his voice full of sleep.

"Hey yourself," she dumped her haul onto the small table and began opening a coconut. She handed it to him to drink and then pulled apart the banana bunch she had gathered and handed him one of those as well.

"Did you find all this?" he asked, looking over the coconuts, bananas, and the chicken she had caught and put in a makeshift cage.

Hermione laughed, nodding. "I'm going to make you watch the next season of Survivor with me when we get home."

"Is this some Muggle thing?" he asked. "Survivor?"

"Remember television shows? Like plays, but on a box in your house?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow. They may have been married for more than a decade, but Draco hadn't really taken to much of her Muggle heritage. Which Hermione didn't mind. She missed TV occasionally, but now that they had children, it was probably better for them that there wasn't one in the house.

"I think I remember you talking to me about them," he replied.

"Survivor is a television show where they dump a bunch of Americans in the jungle and they have to make a shelter, fire, find their own food, etc. All the while competing in various challenges and voting each other off of the island, until there are only three left. Then the ones voted off, get to vote on who wins."

"So it's a game?" he asked, draining the coconut water. "Merlin, this is amazing. They should bottle this stuff and sell it."

Hermione laughed, shaking her head. "They do, don't worry, anything that can be commercialized, the Muggles have already thought of it. Yes, Survivor is a game, the tagline is Outwit, Outlast, Outplay. So usually whoever the jury thinks played the best game wins, but part of the game is the social game. Most winners are people that the rest of the jury likes, being a prat isn't really a great strategy."

"It sounds mildly interesting," he conceded. "So you learned all this stuff by watching that show?"

Hermione nodded. "My parents paid extra so we could watch it. Britain had a couple of seasons, but the American show has been on the air for almost fifteen years at this point. Honestly, this whole being shipwrecked thing has been kind of fun for me," she told him with a grin.

He snorted. "At least it's been fun for one of us."

"I'm sure I could make it fun for you too," Hermione said with a small smirk and a glance at his lips.

"Oh?" Draco asked, acting disinterested, but he set the empty coconut down and drifted closer to her, sliding a hand around her waist.

"Mmm, ever had sex in a jungle?" she asked, placing her hand on his chest and looking up at him.

"There's a bed right there," he said, indicating the one she had Transfigured. "This is as close to the jungle as I'm willing to get."

Hermione laughed. "Fair enough." She stood up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. He immediately deepened it, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth and pulling her close. Hermione groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. He quickly backed her across the room until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed and she fell on top of it, getting tangled in the mosquito netting before they were able to brush it aside. He made quick work of her clothes and his and within moments they were both naked with him lying on top of her. She luxuriated in the feel of his smooth skin on hers. He was warm and smelled tantalizingly delicious.

"Granger," he groaned when she reached down and wrapped her hand around his cock, giving it a squeeze before she slowly began to pump it.

He bit her shoulder and slid a hand down her abdomen to find her absolutely soaked.

"Fuck," she muttered, arching her hips as he circled her clit with his finger. She squeezed his cock in retaliation and within moments he had knocked her hand away and was lining himself up. When he slid home, they both groaned. She arched up into him, wrapping her legs around his waist as he rocked inside her.

Her nipples tightened as he moved, his chest providing the perfect friction against them. Draco's mouth was on hers, his tongue mimicking his cock in a delicious in and out slide that had Hermione panting and seeing stars. After a moment, he pulled back and hitched her legs up higher, finding a different angle as he continued pounding into her. He had a hand on the back of each knee, holding her open and leaning just far enough that his pubic bone was scraping against her clit.

She cupped her breasts, thumbing and twisting her nipples.

"Fuck, Granger," he groaned at the sight, his eyes darkening. Then he pushed her legs further apart and leaned down, sucking a nipple into his mouth as she held her breast out to him. It was exactly what Hermione needed and she cried out as the coil of desire inside her snapped and her climax washed over her. Draco wasn't far behind. He grunted through his orgasm before collapsing on top of her.

Once she had regained her breath, she let a chuckle loose. "Even shipwrecked we manage to have a good time," she murmured as she thread her fingers through his hair. His head was resting on her chest and he'd wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

"I always have a good time with you," he replied. "That's why I asked you to marry me all those years ago." He looked up at her and the sheer amount of love and adoration in his eyes made her heart clench and her chest expand. She smiled at him and he rose to press a kiss to her smiling mouth. "Love you," he whispered against her lips.

"Love you more," she replied.

3 Months Later

"Come on, Draco! It won't be like the last one," Hermione pleaded as she showed him the brochure. Their escape from the small spit of land out in the middle of the Pacific ocean wasn't nearly as fondly remembered by Draco as it was by her.

"I'm not getting on a bloody boat, Granger. I've told you. It's not happening."

Hermione sighed, pushing the air out between her lips as she put her hands on her hips. "How are we meant to go on vacation if you nix an entire mode of travel?"

"We'll go like proper wizards," Draco stated, glaring down at her.

Hermione threw up her hands. "And miss most of the bloody sites! Wizards are too insular. You know that as well as I do. If we travel like Muggles we'll be able to see so much more!"

"No boats," he replied, not budging even a little.

"Fine." Hermione almost stamped her foot but was able to quash the instinct just in time. "If not boats, then we'll just have to get on an aeroplane." She turned and flounced away. Hiding the tiny grin as he called after her.

"Aeroplane? What's an aeroplane?"

"Granger?"

"Granger!"

~Fin~