I thought I could listen to some Fall Out Boy while I write some silly fanfiction, but I realize listening to music with lyrics makes it impossible for me to write effectively. Let me change whats playing. Not a lot of great instrumental stuff that I like out there. Sick of classical and jazz right now. Listen to Donny Hathaway, he's alright.
It's me! gay herbert! I'm here to pay respects to my favorite character of all time,
I'm still listening to fall out boy. this is not helping.
My bathtub is filled with my hair right now because I tried to shave my head, but like with a little bit of hair left so I don't replicate my bald look.
Sing it patrick, im sick of your voice but you do you babe
I've decided I can't listen to music right now. God damn it.
So many words repeating in mty head. I can't help it. Its just a constant wave of unending thinks. I get so tired of it. I wiah I could marry cindy lauper.
Shikamaru jumped off a cliff.
"What a drag"
He landed, somehow unscaved.
"What a drag"
Temari transmorgified throught the ground and rose to meet shikamarus eye line.
I havent seen you make that mistake in a long time. You sure youre okay?
She may have sounded concerned but me and shikamaru knew that she was just pissed again and go d i dont know.
I did some research on werewolvers, and it made me realize, I know kbnthing about werewolves. Probably not my best idea to write a story that I wanted to make sure continued after a few chapters only to base the plot around a thing i know mothinmg about.
Naruto Finally gets To Work At McDonalds
Sir this is a wendys
Patrick Stump found himself staring ata wall. It was a fairly normal wall. Nothing peculiar about it. IT was made of red brciks that had faded in color from the sunlight. Probably not the right paint to use on bricks. He thought about this. He asked himself
"Wait, why am I facing a wall?"
He didn't know how he got to where he was.
MR. Stump Stump turned 180 degrees to readjust himself. What he saw nect, he wouldn't belivee
"What is this place? Where am I?" he said aloud unnecisarily
it turns out stump had found himself in the world o fninja. yes thats right. ninja land planet.
"This seems to familair... but I cant put my finger on it."
He looked at his hands. He realized he was two dimensional.
"OH MY God!" "Iam two dimensional! As though iwas some sort of cartoon, perhaps a drawing!"
Stump absolutely freaked out. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. How did this happen? Why did it happen?
Before stump couldx think a moment more, he heard a voice from behind him.
"Are you lost sir?"
"Huh?" stump said very stupidly
"I asked if you were lost sir."
"Oh uh..."
Stump looked at th e boy up and dowen. He could sdee that he was a littlr anime boy. Couldnt have been older than 7.
"You okay thre mister?"
"Oh I... To say Im lost wouldnt quite suffice."
"I know that feeling. One time i lost my ball and i couldnt find it anywhere. Iw as beside myself for so long. I travelled many moons and galazies to find it. Turned out, it was in my pocket the whole time. I dont know how it got there, but to this sday I like to beliee it was all part of gods plam."
"Thats... Nice kid. But if you cant tell me where i am im not sure i want to talk to you."
Wow what a dick stump? well grantged if i was turned into an anime id probably be upset too. No one in history had ever had this happen to them before, so understandably stump was concerned. But concerned enough to bitch at a kid? I dont know. You be the judge.
"Jeez misger, i ws just asking a question."
"Fucl off kid, ive got real problems to deal with."
The boy pouted at mr. stumpd issapointed at his words. He lifted his bike and turned back the way he came, and rode down the hill. He wasnt wearing a helmet though so hes a stupid little... to each their own.
"what am i going to do?"
"The answer is simple silly!"
Another voice rain out, but this time from the sky. Patrick looked up, but couldnt see anythihng that would inidicate an entity was speaking to him. he wondered if he was hallucinating.
"Over here silly!"
Patrick looked to his left only to find none other than cozmo and wanda from the fairly odd parents.
"Cozmo? Wanda? In that ordeR?"
"In the flesh!" Wanda said
"Wjhat are tyou doing here?"
"WE were going to ask you thtt very question!"
Stump had no idea what was going on.
"What.. What is happening?" stump asked
:well, tjeres a lor thats haopening,."
"Are you.. going to tell me what that is?"
"YHes of courase."
Wanda was speaking to stump, but patrick noticed that while cozmo was blinking and breathing, he seemed tuned put and didnt relly care what was goin oin.
"Hey, whats up with cozmo?"
"oh ignore him. hes been acting up."
"a fairy has been acting u[p? arent you all powerful and stuff?"
"oh no non no. We have a ton of rules that we have to live by, both by our strict set of fairy laws, and the lawws of nature."
Stump stopped caring.
"just tell me whats going on."
"well stump, you might not like ehat i have to say. Do you think youre ready for this?"
"fuck no dude just hit me"
"okay. well have you ever seen that movie its a wonderful life?"
"yeah of course, i watch that every christmas with my family. its a classic"
"indeed it is! wlel... thats basicallyt whats happening to you. but instead of just being a regular human 3d world thing, youre in nijaland."
Stump blinked his eyes in disbelief. He couldnt believe what he was hearing. Cozmo and Wanda had seen its a ownderful life? crazy
"so that would mean i have to learn some life lessons or something?"
"thats right kiddomoondo."
"uhhhhhhh so like, are you here to help me with that or am i stuck with this on my own?"
"thats complicated. essentially were kind of like a hnint button in a video game, like well talk to you whenever you want to ask us a question, but we wont ever give you the answers. we can only give you hints and cheer you on."
"so that implies that there are in fact correct answers?"
"yes, but depending on the situation there coujld be multplie solutions to any given problem."
stump sneezed.
"excuse you."
"sorry that happens sometimes."
"oh yeah dont worry, it happens to us too."
"you guys sneeze too?"
"yep we do everything that you humans can do, we just have a ton of magic."
"doesd that mean fairy god parents can be racist?"
"Well... unfortunately yes bu- why would you ask that?"
"i dont know, this is all new to me, i have no idea whats going on."
"fair enough. look, time is running out. you have to learn some valuable lessons before this world collapses on itself."
"Wiait what? thers a time limit or something?"
"eyyyaaaahhhhhh uuhhhhhh if you dont learn your lessons in the next two weks this whole world will collapse on itself and everyone here will die horrible painful deaths in which we all burn in hell"
"does that include me?"
"no"
"okay good lol"
"ugh..." wanda rubbed her forehead in dissapointment. "youve got a lot to learn stump. look. you better just get started. times a wastin."
"okay. uh, so where do i go from here?"
"cant tell you. thats on you big boy."
"ugh alright"
Cozmo and wanda popped out of existence with little action lines appearing on stumps vision. it was weird but whatever.
To the left of stump was a straight path that lead to a mostly open field. there were ,mountains in the distance, but no signs of civilization. to his right was the hill the little boy had jsut moments ago rode down. following the path with his eyes, stump could see the faintest image of a village. he assumed thats where the kid came from and decided to start walking that way.
break time i have to cleanout my hair from my bath tub because i shaved myself and trimmed hair and sutff brb
okay im back. its only been a minute, turns out the water isnt fully drained yet. its been like an hour. my bathrub drain is super gunked up or something and now ive sent a massive amount of hair down the pipe so thats certianly only going to make it worse. now i knew this when i started shaving trimming slash. but id idd it anywya. why? because i have no energy and i dont care and nothing matters and honestly im trying to hold onto my grasp of this wrodl but sometimes its too much for me. i need to be better more hygeinc person. i need to be more proactive. god. anyway, now a word from our spaondser.
Hi. I'm clinically depressed. Today id like to sharew with you some glorious news. Ive been watching drew gooden videos for the last few days and now his coivce is stuck in my head. but dont be mistaken, im the one who is speaking right now. and im here to sell you insurance. Specifically? Lime insurance. Thats right. Sick and tired of bandits and [ninja] coming to steal your limes? have you ever tried to walk home from the super market holding your limes avoiding to think about ahtt old meme, only to be barricaded by chakra infused earth? sudden;y the ninja swooped fown and surroundded you. six, sven, no 9 ninja stood around you. therwe as no place to run. "hand us the limes and well spare you life" you were scared. so so scared. you wanted to pee pee yourself but you did your best to stay together. "fine fine here! take them!"
quickly you held out your limes, of course not bagged, and closed your eyes turning your head to the side in fear of what might happen. almost instantly you heard someone in the group say "disperse!" you waited a few moments. you began to peak open one eye. you saw that the ninja were now gone. but the earth walls still surrounded you. you would have t find a way to escape. has that ever happened to YOU? well todays your lucky day because im here to offer you lime insurance. for the low low price of three limes well sign you up with our premium lime securirty package. (why limes you ask? well its becasue we)
we interupt this broadcast to return to our main story.
Stump was still walking toward the village. slowly but surely the village began to grow in size as he got closer. at first he thought it was because he was getting closer. but it was also because the village was literally getting bigger. weird coincidence. like not huge. well no totally uhge. like a building thatd be one story was the size of a story was now the size of a story and a half. pretty damn big. the whiole village stretched out, but kept its proportions, so it was covering more land now.
"gee wiz" said stump in amazment. he began to frolic like a little girl. he was a very pretty girl. his hair began to grow long and beautfitufl. it shined bright in the sunlight. once he approached the villages edge, his hair receded to its original length. his scalp grew a dark grey fedora with a red feather. ah, finally at pece, stump thought.
"There! thats the man who said mean things to me!"
"oh boi"
A large mob had accumulated around the corner of a bar, right outside his vision. they turned and began swarm the main street. stump thought to run, but dounfs that his shoes had turned to mud. not really something that inhibited him from moving or anything, just a big inconvience. yhou now hed probably cut his feet up and he wasnt really up for that. so he just stood in place and watched as the mob came closer. he could see that several members were holding torches and a few others were holding swords and pitchforks. they looks eerialy similar to that one shot from the simpsons movie.
"wait wait! I can explain!"
the mob stopped in its tracks.
"He... He can explain?"
The crowd continued to whisper things to each other.
"I didnt know he could explain things?"
"no i didnt either"
"shoudl we listen to him"
"you mean let him explain?"
"yeah i say we hear him out"
"yeah me too, not often someone can explain things"
"okay."
One man stepped forward. Clearly the father of the boy stump ahd insulted. He looked just like an older version of his kid.
"Youre handsome." said stump without thinking
"you gay dude?" said the father
"oh god oh no Oh I didnt mean to say that that literally just came out"
Thef father eyed stump up and down.
"it happens. now explain why you harrassed my poor boy."
Time froze. Everyone stopped moving. the trees stopped swaying. the birds stopped chirping. you get it. While confused stump continued moving. for him time seemed to have cnintued.
"so this is your first hint" said wanda from behind patrick
Patrick turned around and asked "oh yeah? is this how youll be giving me hints from now on?"
"yes and no it just depends on how i think its best to handle each situation."
"alright."
"so your tip here is this: this crowd is angry at you because you were mean to a kid"
"yeah got that"
"alright talk to you the next time i see you"
"Wait that was it? that was my tip?"
"well yeah of course?"
"that was so obvious though. why dont you give me a real tip, something i dont know?"
Wanda raised an eyebrow. cozmo wasnt braindead but he still was looking at nothing basically and didnt give a smitch about what was going on.
"look stump. youre pretty fucking stupid you stupid little bitch ass stupid bitch. why the fuck do you think youre here? because you need to leanr your alphabet? fucking christ man you fedora wearing bitch ass fetus looking mother fucker. you really think youre going to go through a whole its a ownderful christmas life whatever the moveis called because you need to learn to paralell park better or something? no. its because youve been a total jack ass lately. back in the real world youve beena total dispshit. i mean a real caaca poo poo. god you make me sik."
Stump stared in shock, sadness, and amazement. The last thing hed expect was for wanda to say something like that to hi,m, but here she was saying that to him.
"E... Excuse me?"
"You heard me bitch i thought you were so stupid thatd id make sure you knew what was going on becaseu clearly back in the real world you were so stupid you couldnt tell how much of an asshole you were being to everyone. I tired becing nice to you but i hit my limit. sorry i missed a dose of my medication for the last two days and im pised becasuse of it. dont ever miss your doses. thats not part of this excerise thats just a tip from me to you. fucking walgreens never have my prescriptions ready. first of all they now make me sign up for their stuff online, when previously i could just walk in and tell a real human fairy what i need and theyd help me. but ever since they switched to this online request system theyve been messing up my shit. god fuck i ahte them so much, such a shitty company."
Stump couldnt decide what part of her response to reply to.
"Um. Am I supposed to ask how I can help you here?"
"oh no im just bitching and moaning dont mind me. wanda out"
And like that, wanda and cozmo dissapeared. stump was left turned around, his feet still stuck in the now dried mud, left dazed by what had just occured. He was in for a real hell of a time.
And that concludes todays class. Make sure to read up on chapter 15 of ligitgation proceedures in your textbook. ill see you students next week. have a good weekend.
Okay now im going to check the tub again. ill try to conituen this stroy soon. this will be much easoer thatn the werewolf one. bye!
4:32am 8/21/21