Thank you so much for your readership and your reviews, each one truly makes my day :) Please continue to review, I love love love hearing your words!

Sorry that Edward's all over the place, I wasn't expecting such a reaction! I thought that was quite in character for him to want to run away haha! But fear not, of course they aren't just going to up and leave in Chapter 2, where's the fun in that?!

This one's a bit heavy in places, sorry. I promise there will be much lighter stuff later but gotta get the angst done first here!

Trigger warning for this chapter: there is reference to terminal illness in this chapter and forthcoming in the story. Your mental health and wellbeing as readers is much more important to me than spoilers so if you want some more specific details ahead of deciding whether to continue reading, PM me and I'd be more than happy to go over anything at all. I promise a HEA in all my fics but I understand if the road to get there is too bumpy for you.

Chapter 3 – Betting Against Alice

Bella POV

I stopped in the corridor when the sobs became uncontrollable. I felt lost, like the planet had upended around me and I no longer knew which way was up. My emotions spiralled, see-sawing from agonising loss to all-engulfing fury to desperate longing and I couldn't work out which one was right. How was I supposed to feel upon seeing the only person I'd ever loved slap-bang in the middle of my new life? And he was so… the same. I knew, logically, that he would be, but to think of all the life I had lived since I last saw the glorious, inhuman planes of his face made the striking sameness of him all the more jarring. I was almost double the age I had been when we last shared the same air, and yet hearing the velvet tones of his voice sent me right back. I was seventeen again, feeling everything so keenly and understanding so little and yet knowing, without a single shred of doubt, that he was where I belonged.

And he was.

Edward was my life.

How painful. How humiliating. How… sad that he had cast me aside as easily as an empty candy wrapper and moved on to other distractions while here I was fifteen long years later still aching for him like the moody teen he'd known. His stony expression out there in the field, his hesitant eyes… to him, I was like the ex he awkwardly bumped into at some mutual friend's wedding, the one whose number he'd have blocked because of all the drunk dials. And I'd had the nerve to rail on him for leaving me, let my anger take over and rip him a new one for… what? Moving on? Didn't he have the right? Time-resistant as he was, he still had free will and the choice to leave who he wanted. What had been an ingrained, lifelong love for me was nothing but a fling to him and here I was, the clinger-on. How embarrassing.

A strangled sob escaped from my throat.

Who was I kidding? I wasn't embarrassed. I was simply heartbroken. And angry. And he'd deserved to hear what he'd done to me. He needed to know that he couldn't just mess about with humans and expect us to be unaffected. He needed to know how deep my feelings had been – how deep they still were.

He needed to come back.

I needed him to love me.

Pain throbbed inside me as I remembered that I'd told him to leave. I'd longed to see him again for so long. I'd bargained with myself, with whatever God there was: just one conversation, just one touch and I'll never ask for anything again. Just let me tell him I forgive him, I love him, and that will be enough. And now I'd had that dropped in my lap and I'd told him to leave. I would never have that opportunity again.

Footsteps in the distance forced me to remember my surroundings. My watch told me I was already ten minutes late to class; I had to get this out of my head. For the children.

I used the bottom of my shirt to wipe my eyes, took several deep breaths and chanted all the resilience mantras I knew (which was a lot as a dedicated school teacher with a great belief in growth mindset). Then, when I knew I couldn't put it off any longer, I speed-walked to my classroom.

The class were, obviously, already there and waiting. Many sat on desks, mucking around while unwatched, and some threw impromptu paper aeroplanes. Loud music echoed out of some tinny iPhone speaker. I clapped my hands and called them to attention: "Right, sorry I'm late but class is starting now. Get back in your seats and Kai, please inform Drake that if he wants his music played in a high school classroom, he needs to lay off the swearing."

Kai rolled his eyes at me but dutifully switched off the music.

I took my place at the front of the classroom, assuming my role of Miss Swan, the unshakeable, and commenced the lesson. "Okay, we're carrying on with Antony and Cleopatra, so get your copies out and turn to Act 3, Scene 6…"

A few groans were mumbled under breaths but for the most part, the students readily complied. While they found the page, I located my lesson plan on the desk and skimmed over it to remind myself of the key learning points I wanted to get across. Then, there was a knock on the closed classroom door.

I looked over in time to see it open and reveal a sheepish Alice on the other side. She smiled tightly, meeting my horrified gaze with a hesitant kindness and pleading eyes. "Hi," she said coyly. "I'm Alice Brandon, I'm new today."

I stared at her for a beat too long, unsure whether to marvel at her unabashed boldness or shout obscenities at her for being so dense. Then I shook my head slightly, wondering briefly when I'd wake up from this ridiculous dream, and waved my hand at her, turning my attention back to the paper in my hand, which was now shaking from my shredded nerves. "Sure," I said flatly. "Take a seat."

But instead of following my instructions, Alice approached me at the desk. She stopped a few feet away and spoke in a bright tone for show, but there was an undercurrent of urgency I knew was meant for me: "My twin brother, Edward, is meant to be in this class, too, but he had to leave early. Can I stop by after school to catch us up on the material so far?"

She was as unflappable as ever; I'd give her that. Her question was difficult to answer, though. Did I want to hear her excuses for Edward, her insistence that he was sorry and didn't mean to hurt me? Did I want to welcome the friend I had missed desperately back into my life? In the face of her golden, curious eyes, feeling nostalgia and pain all at once, I wanted to tell her to leave me alone and never return, but I remembered my agony in the hall at the thought of never seeing any of them again. Wasn't this what I wanted? I wasn't so sure anymore.

"Of course," I said through gritted teeth, frustrated that she was putting me on the spot in front of my students and forcing me to process these complex emotions on my stage without breaking character. I gathered myself and added to my acquiescence, words with a double meaning. "I'd be happy to talk you through what you have missed… and you can pass it on to your brother."

Alice let a small breath out through a wide smile, and I suddenly realised that she was nervous too – nervous I'd say no. "Thanks," she said, "Miss Swan." And with that, Alice took the right-hand space of a double desk in the corner. I wondered briefly what this meant. Edward had clearly stayed true to his word that he would leave, yet Alice seemed to think there was more to be said. I pushed it from my mind – later, I told myself, Alice could tell me everything later.

The afternoon, like the morning, passed in a blur. There were only two lessons in the afternoon and mine was a double, so we ploughed through a good few scenes of Antony and Cleopatra, and I did my best to ignore Alice's intense scrutiny. It almost felt like a formal observation, so considered and evaluative was her gaze.

Eventually, the final bell rang, and I dismissed the class. I stopped Kai on the way out, reminding him about the cancelled soccer practice.

"Like I could forget," he muttered bitterly, brushing his light blond hair out of his eyes.

"Sorry Kai," I said lightly, allowing a teasing air to come into my voice. "You know I'd step up and coach if I didn't have work to do."

Kai's lips twitched ever so slightly. "No offense, Miss, but I'd rather miss practice for a day. Do you even know the offside rule?"

I did, but I hummed for a second and then said, "Is that when the ball goes off the side?"

He laughed, seeing right through my overdone pretence. "Sure, sure. Later, Miss."

"Maybe use this extra time to start on that essay?" I called after him.

"Or maybe I'll fight off those flying pigs," he retorted, and I smiled despite his insubordination. Funny kid.

Then, I felt eyes on me. I turned to see Alice watching me with an indulgent smile across her dainty, neat features. She was sitting on her desk now, swinging her legs enthusiastically.

I sighed and went to the door of the classroom, closing it and checking through the glass pane that there was no one nearby or heading in this direction. I took a minute by the door, trying to work out what to say. Eventually, I exhaled and turned. "What is it you want, Alice?" It was much, much easier to face her than her brother. Though she was also as devastatingly beautiful as ever – and, again, identical to the last time we'd met – the very existence of her didn't splinter my heart like a poor, defenceless sapling. Not as badly anyway.

Slowly, cautiously, Alice approached me. Then, all at once, she hugged me, her head slotting in between my shoulder and chin, her thin, sturdy arms wrapping around me. "I've missed you so much, Bella," she said quietly.

I patted her shoulder awkwardly. "I've missed you too, Alice. But… this isn't really the place." I gestured to my classroom, my mind automatically flashing with all the red safeguarding lights that accompanied an unexpected hug from a student.

"Oh." Alice extracted herself. "Sorry."

I retreated to my desk and fell into my chair, the ancient wheels groaning from the sudden weight. "What is it you want?" I asked again. "Because you know I don't really buy that you came here randomly."

Alice's eyes widened and she shook her head. "We did! Well, I mean, we didn't, but Edward had no idea, Bella, truly he didn't. He would never have agreed to come if he knew…"

I winced and dropped my gaze to the carpet, nodding sadly. "He never wanted to see me again."

"No, that's not… he didn't but not for the reasons you think…" She trailed off suddenly, going stock still and staring straight ahead for a moment.

"What is it?" I asked urgently, remembering that look well.

Alice came back to herself as quickly as she left. "Um… you're expecting a student? She'll be here any minute."

Grace. I groaned slightly. "I'll have to tell her I can't do today." It would be the first time I'd sent the girl away.

"No," Alice said slowly. "It's fine. I'll wait."

"You will?" I hated the edge of hope that drifted into my voice.

"Of course. Of course I will, Bella." She smiled at me, and it was both warm and wistful. "I still consider you a sister, you know."

I laughed once, bitter. "An estranged sister you haven't seen in fifteen years?"

"No, just a sister I need to reconnect with."

The knock on the door sounded then and, as much as I wanted to demand Alice tell me what she meant by that (was she staying? Did we have a future in each others' lives after all?), I knew she had to leave. "Come in!" I called to Grace before adding to Alice: "I'll see you later."

"I promise," she whispered, and then she departed past Grace who watched her leave with confused, curious eyes.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"A new student," I answered simply. "Now, Mrs Clarke says your History essay needs editing, shall we have a look at it together?"

After I'd waved goodbye to Grace for the evening, I poured myself a coffee and grabbed a few cookies from the staff room before heading back to my classroom; I figured I'd need the caffeine for the onslaught I was anticipating from Alice. Nerves bubbled within me as I walked the empty halls back to my room. I had no idea what Alice would say, but my gut told me she was meddling in something she shouldn't be.

I wasn't surprised to find her waiting by the open window when I got back, coffee in hand. I smiled as genuinely as I could through my nerves. "You didn't fancy the door?"

Alice's face lit up at my poor excuse for a joke, delighted that I was finally playing along. "Doors are overrated."

"Uh huh." I sat in my chair and swivelled to face her over my desk. I took a mouthful of cookie and then a deep breath. Once I had swallowed, I nodded to her. I was ready this time. These pesky vampires would not catch me off-guard again. "Okay, Alice," I said calmly. "You have to tell me, why are you here? Really?"

She must have known that that would be the first question out of my mouth but still she hesitated.

I groaned in frustration. "Come on. You already admitted that it isn't a coincidence that you're here so what is it? Do you need something from me? Is this some misguided attempt to protect me? What?"

Alice was shaking her head fiercely. "No, no, nothing like that. But… Bella, before I tell you, there's something you should know." She paused, as if debating whether sharing this information was prudent, and then she sighed quietly and said: "Edward… he… well, he's still in love with you, Bella. He always has been."

Here we go. I scoffed. "Right. Alice, he got bored of me, remember? I wasn't good enough for him then and I'm not good enough now."

"No, Bella, really, it's not like that."

"Well, why has he sent his sister to beg forgiveness, then?" I demanded, confusion and hurt fuelling my fury. "If he's really… in love with me still, then shouldn't he be here himself?"

"No!" Alice gasped again, determined to get her point across. "He didn't send me. He has no idea… he'd be furious if he knew I was here telling you this, Bella, truly. He…" She at least had the decency to look ashamed as she explained further. "He lied to you. Edward insisted that we had to leave to keep you safe. He said we weren't good for you, we had to leave you to have a human life. In peace."

I stared at her for a long beat. That sounded like something Edward would think – or at least the Edward I knew from all those years ago – but how could he truly believe that was what was best for me? When I was so deeply and agonisingly in love with him? "No," I said, refusing to believe it. "He might have said that to you and your family, but you don't know, you weren't there…" My mind drifted back to that day in the woods, the day I never let myself dwell on. Not anymore. His rejection was painful, and unimaginable and, sure, he had been apologetic. But he had also been certain, committed and genuine in his assertion that he didn't want me. I swallowed back the lump in my throat, the ache in my chest. This was becoming the achiest day in a very, very long time. "He didn't – doesn't want me, Alice. And, anyway, I've moved on. I'm happy. I'm fine."

Alice looked at me sadly and I knew that she knew I was lying through my teeth.

"I'm fine," I repeated unconvincingly.

"Well, whether that's the case or not-"

"It is."

"I thought you needed to know that before I explain properly. About why we came."

I waited expectantly, but she didn't continue. "And why was that?" I asked quietly, drawing on all of the patience I had developed over the years of forgotten homework and repeating instructions six times.

Alice closed her eyes for a beat and when she opened them, they were unbearably sad. "I know, Bella," was all she whispered.

I blinked at her, uncertain what she meant, though my subconscious twinged with fear and recognition. "You're going to have to be more specific, Alice. You know everything. What in particular are you referring to?"

Alice glanced out of the window, her eyes far away and wistful. "I had a vision not so long ago… a vision of you. You were… you were in a hospital." She looked back at me, and her eyes now were so full of sympathy that I had to look away. "It wasn't good, Bella."

And, just like that, it was like she'd poured a bucket of ice-cold water over my head. Awareness saturated through every cell in my body, spreading from that nugget of my subconscious that knew all along what Alice had seen, what Alice knew. Of course she knew. Alice was virtually omnipotent. I don't know how I ever imagined that this would escape her. "How long?" I croaked quietly.

"I can't be certain but not long at all. A few months. Maybe less."

Jesus. It was nothing I hadn't heard before from numerous doctors, neurologists, and oncologists. But coming from Alice it seemed so much more certain. Final. I remembered once teasingly telling Edward that you wouldn't catch me betting against Alice. I closed my eyes tightly, surprised to feel a tear escape over my lashes and dribble down my cheek. "He can't know," I whispered. "I don't want his sympathy. Please, Alice, do everything you can to keep this from him. And just go. Leave. Please." My voice broke on my last plea and I couldn't look back at her.

Alice was quiet for a very long time, and when she spoke again, it was a pained whisper. "Please let us stay, Bella. I want to be here for you. As soon as I saw that you were…" She can't bring herself to say the word dying. She skips over it like a swear word silenced from the radio edit of a song. "I knew we had to come. Whether you believe it or not, it's true that Edward still loves you, so much, and he'd never forgive himself if he never made things right between the two of you."

Now it was my turn to shake my head vehemently. "No. No, Alice, you cannot tell him. If what you say is true, then he needs to make the choice to tell me himself. He needs to choose me because he wants to, not out of obligation or fear. I don't want you all to spin some web of lies just because you think it's what I want to hear before I go."

"It's not a lie."

"It doesn't matter. You can't tell him."

"But… if I don't tell him that you're… ill… then you're happy for us to stay?"

"I don't know, Alice," I hedged, unsure of how I felt about the prospect of the Cullens being in my life again, even remotely. "I already told him to leave and I just…"

"That was before you knew the truth, Bella," Alice interrupted quickly. I hesitated just long enough for her to add: "Just think about it? Please?"

I sighed, rubbed my face warily. I suddenly felt so very tired. "Fine," I agreed, partly because I didn't know what to think and partly because I just wanted this heavy conversation to be over.

"Yay!" Alice beamed way too enthusiastically considering that I'd only agreed to think about it. Thankfully, she switched gears and changed the topic then. "Now, as my long-lost sister and best friend, you have to tell me why you spend so much time hanging round with a stinking werewolf! He really plays havoc with my visions, Bella, it's a real pain."

Jacob! I groaned and checked the clock. I only had half an hour before I was supposed to be at his house on the other side of town. "Sorry, Alice, but we're going to have to shelve this discussion," I said. "I've got plans."

"Oh." She was disappointed for a nanosecond before quickly brightening again. "Oh my goodness, we can totally have sleepovers and stuff now that you don't live with Charlie."

I stared at her for a moment and then said slowly, "Alice, I'm thirty-three. I haven't had a sleepover in decades."

"That's okay, neither have I. Rosalie's a buzzkill and won't do it with me. We'll work it out together! This is going to be so fun."

I wanted to ask where Rosalie and Emmett were, why only three of them were attending here. I wondered after Carlisle and Esme. I wanted to ask where they had been, what they had all been doing. Edward especially. But I wasn't certain that I really wanted to know. I had a lot of working out to do.

So it was with that in mind that, once I had said goodbye to Alice and began the short walk home, I called Jacob to cancel our dinner plans.

"Hey, Bella," he answered quickly. "You alright? Feel better?"

"Actually, Jake, I'm not feeling great so would you mind if we take a raincheck? Sorry it's such late notice."

"Of course not, Bells. Do you want me to come over? You want to talk about it?"

"No… no. I think I just need to rest."

"Okay… well, call me if you change your mind. Any time. I'm here for you, you know that."

I let my eyes fall shut, feeling warmth for my best friend spread through me. I truly didn't deserve him. "I know. Thanks Jake. Really."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone with a sigh. Regret flooded through me that I was lying to him through omission, but I needed to work through this myself before asking for his input. Jacob had become my best – and only – friend shortly after the Cullens had left Forks. He had been there for me, still picking up the shattered pieces when everyone else had given up. I had known the whole time that he wanted more from me than I was willing to give, and I had told him as much. His simple response was: "It's okay. I'll wait."

Then, things had changed. He withdrew from me, and I knew that I had pushed away my last friend with my desolate grief… at least, until he found a way to reveal the truth to me about what he had become. It was absurd that I would attract not one but two mythical creatures in the space of a year, but I found it astonishingly easy to adapt to Jake's secret. His wolf pack welcomed me in, despite our differences, and protected me from the vengeful vampires that stalked me, eventually taking down both Laurent and then Victoria. With time, I found that I loved having someone to talk to openly without sounding crazy. Jake helped me to heal, and I would never be able to repay him for that.

Unfortunately, despite my urging to the contrary, Jake had rapidly formed his own unpleasant opinions about the Cullens. Them being his natural enemy obviously didn't help matters, but when he heard how Edward had left me and how he had put me in James' path (Jake's words, not mine), Jacob developed a strong resentment for him in particular. I knew that if I told Jake now that the Cullens were in the same town as us, he would expend a great amount of effort convincing me of his biased arguments and I wouldn't have time to form my own conclusions based on my genuine emotions and beliefs. And, really, that was the best-case scenario. Worst case, he'd get straight on the phone to Sam Uley and convince him to run the whole pack over to Two Harbors to take the Cullens on.

I shuddered at the thought and was glad to see my home come into view at the end of the street; I wanted some busy work to distract me from this train of thought.

At home, I sorted my laundry, mopped the kitchen and then microwaved a lasagne and opened a bottle of wine, pouring a large glass that was half gone before the lasagne was even lukewarm.

I stared at my slowly revolving dinner and considered the bombshells the day had landed on me. Appropriately, I felt like a crater: empty and bottomless. It was hard to pin down any emotion; so many were floating around my mind, crying out for my attention.

In the end, I decided not to think too hard about it. I couldn't process the enormity of this in one evening. So I watched crap TV, ate my mushy lasagne, drank more wine than was reasonable on a school night, and went up to bed.

Lying in bed, I stared at the ceiling, begging sleep to come but it eluded me. A breeze from outside rustled the curtain and my breath caught in my throat as I was catapulted back to my adolescence, my purple bedroom and Edward's admission that he had watched me sleep for weeks before he spoke to me.

Abruptly, I got out of bed and stomped to the window, which was latched and ever so slightly ajar. I shoved it open, as wide as it would go, and stared out into the darkness, as though I'd be able to see him in the night, glowing like a firefly. I knew it was impossible – that even if I could see him, even if what Alice had said was true, it was unlikely he'd be here after our conversation today – but my eyes searched fiercely, nonetheless. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I need time," I whispered out into the night. "Just… give me some time." I stared for a moment more and then ducked back inside my room. I pulled the window closed tightly, and then I locked it.