Chapter 11: Conversation with The Elders of The Rez

"No need for formal introduction. Sam and Paul informed us about you before they head to the battle this morning. As chief of this tribe, I welcome you, Ale. Even though through odd circumstances, Paul was able to find his imprint. We can tell that Paul has calmed even more after finding his imprint, " Billy said with a warm smile. I reciprocated that smile as well. I liked Billy from the books. He always had this gentle, welcoming aura around him. Even though there were some decisions that he made that I don't agree with, Billy overall is a likeable person to be around with. Knowing that he was close friends with Charlie despite of cultural differences and his position in the reservation, it brings a smile to my face. It always brings me to delight to see people who are willing to see each other for themselves and accepting/respecting their background besides seeing each other for the color of their skin.

Old Quil, he said suddenly, " I can't believe it."

He was looking at me both a genuine smile and relief. When I looked at him, I couldn't help but feel that there is something ancient with him. Not just because he looks old, but he kind of remind me of the feeling that I get from the indigenous man in the dream. A wise, ancient, familial, and peaceful aura.

Billy turned to Old Quil, " What do you mean by that Old Quil?"

He glanced at Billy then back at me before he continues, "When I first heard of her from Sam. I had my suspicions, but once she came to me, I felt her aura and it was confirmed for me. The peacemaker has once again return to the tribe, Billy. Can you sense the peaceful and warming aura that she is releasing? I know it's been a while for you Billy since you haven't been in touch with your spiritual side due to your declining heal, but from this distance without touching her, even I can sense it."

Both Billy and Sue gasped. They all looked at me with wide eyes. Sue then gestures me to sit down at one of the chairs by the kitchen.

I pulled my chair to face the elders, and I asked politely, " what is a peacemaker?" While I was asking the question, Emily went to the kitchen, as a nice hostess that she is from what I know of her and brought us drinks and a humongous blueberry muffin for all of us to snack on.

Old Quil spoke, " We don't know how far back the peacemaker first appeared. However, the peacemaker, she or he is chosen to help the tribe to coexist with other tribes in the area to keep peace and not to cause war unnecessarily. The peacemaker keeps the mental state of the tribe stable through their guidance and comfort. Then, when Taha Aki became the first shapeshifting wolf, the role of peacemaker was adjusted to the demanding supernatural changes in our tribe. The peacemaker then evolved into a role of a person who helps the tribe on how to deal with the supernatural through their intuition and wisdom as well. They help the alpha on how to proceed each challenge to bring less conflict, deal with the pros and cons dealing with each cold one, how to approach each case with low casualties. The peacemaker helps the wolves to use more of their human side besides just following on their spirit wolf 's instinct and killing every cold one around the area."

I nodded in understanding until it hit me.

If the peacemaker is there to help the tribe, then why Taha Aki still suffered tragedies in his life?

Could it be?

I asked, "What about the story of the Third Wife?.. Was the third wife more than an imprint?"

Billy said sadly, "Yes... she was the first peacemaker for the new generation of spirit warriors who shapeshifts into wolves."

Emily gasped and Kim was no longer biting her nails. They both were listening very intensively..

I looked both at Billy and Old Quil, and asked "what happened?"

Old Quil nodded at Billy to tell me the rest.

Billy continues " The Third Wife was first the peacemaker before she was imprinted on by Taha Aki. She worked closely with Taha Aki to protect the tribe as now they deal with the supernatural besides dealing with the incoming of white man to the American soil and petty tribal fights among other tribes. Taha Aki lived twice of an average human lifespan before Taha Aki felt it was time to pass down the role of Chief and Alpha to his eldest son. That was when the spirits granted a gift to Taha Aki through imprinting of the Third wife. It was a surprising turn of events, since Taha Aki and the third wife were already working together. There were many years of prosperity and peace in the tribe, so the sons slowly stopped depending on the peacemaker. They became arrogant in their strength and became more reliant on the wolf spirit. Since man and the wolf spirit are sharing a body and mind, they always needed to be balanced through the help of spirit walk and the peacemaker. However, they were supposed to report the sighting of the male cold one to the peacemaker before intervening, but without the peacemaker helping them to be attune their humanity, they attacked the male cold one by instincts and emotion only. Many lives were lost to the male cold one, and the third wife mourned. She knew a possible calamity will fall upon them, and it became reality when the female cold one attacked the tribe out of vengeance for the loss of her mate. The third wife, the peacemaker overwhelmed with grief, sorrow and regret for not intervening to the mental state of spirit warriors before this tragedy and seeing that Taha Aki was losing battle with the female cold one, she sacrificed herself to give Taha Aki a chance to kill off the female cold one and for failing her role as the peacemaker."

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Everyone was looking down, pondering everything that has been spoken. I used this time to let my mind wonder. Emily took this time to go back to the kitchen and bring all of us sandwiches for us to eat besides the elders, they wanted to eat some fruits and bread. We all ate in silence.

What Billy just said makes so much sense. Many people in my timeline and myself wondered why she didn't just cut her arm out than stabbing herself that fatally led to her death? It just didn't make sense. I mean it sound "epic" as a story of a heroic sacrifice. Heck, even Bella did the smarter alternative and cut herself in the arm when Edward and Victoria were fighting. Not to discredit the Thirds Wife sacrifice...but even if I fail, I won't commit suicide .. I would try to make up for it not just for those impacted but for myself. Then again, she lost her sons.. mothers tend to lose meaning in their lives when a child dies which is nothing to criticize for. Grief is very serious and may takes years to overcome it. Sometimes it never gets overcome but managed. I can't imagine her grief with intense regret ..

However, it is important to not revolve your whole life in your children lives nor make your whole life purpose to be just a mother. Everyone has many roles in their life and are more than one thing, but it's hard to figure it out. Many don't realize it until the very end in their lives. There is so much more to life than finding a purpose even though finding a purpose helps to give us clarity in life and keep us grounded. Even to the current time in my timeline, it's still a foreign concept to think of living for the sake of living not just for one big purpose. There is so many things to find purpose for living. For example, finding purpose to live to be a mother, to be a wife , to be a worker , doctors , the list goes on. Nothing wrong with choosing any of these as a purpose to live for and trying to find meaning in life, but if things doesn't work out and keep waiting for the day that " life finally starts" then what happens to the time before your life " really " started? You weren't living before?( A/N: I hope I dont sound too existential or philosophical . If anyone has seen the pixar movie Soul, then hopefully you guys get where I'm coming from). What if things don't work out or you lose that purpose in life due to circumstances? No matter how tempting it is to end my life nor how painful and dirty it will get to overcome that deep of a trauma, I will keep living because I know there is so much to life than suffering. I have tasted the good things in life, and there is so much more I can do with my life and have yet to experience.

Either way, Taha Aki was alive... I couldn't imagine how alone he felt...This is one of the great complexities of suicide, and there isn't an easy answer for it. After considering everything that I have been thinking about, I personally won't do what the third wife did. I understand where she is coming from, so I won't look down on the dead and respect her.

I took the initiative to speak first and asked Old Quil, " I understand what the peacemaker is, but wouldn't it make sense for the spirits or universe to select someone from your tribe who can understand you and your people in ways that I-" I stopped midway my sentence when I realized that maybe the reason that I was chosen because it was an outsider who altered the fate of the Twilight universe, it has to be another outsider need to undue Meyer's mistakes. Someone within the universe won't be able to understand the problems in their world because they are living with the problem. It is difficult or almost impossible for someone to realize they have a problem in a middle of the problem. They needed to step outside of it to understand.

He crooked his head and questioned, "What have you realized?"

I said shyly, "Sorry, I just realize that.. why a person outside of the universe like myself is needed because only an outsider of the universe or world would be able to understand the problem of said world. I had a dream prior coming this meeting with you so that will explain my realization."

I proceed to tell in detail of my dream. The more I spoke about my dream, then the more I can see Billy coming into tears as Old Quil was leaning forward eager to hear more of my dream. By the time I finished retelling my dream, Billy was simply in tears as Sue placed her hand on his shoulder as a sign of comfort. Old Quil was also rubbing his face in distress and exhaustion with all that has been told.

Billy weeping silently with both of his hands covering his face as he kept saying repeatedly, "My sweet Jacob. Oh, my son.." Sue was wiping tears from her eyes of the possible tragic story of Billy's son while Emily and Kim were holding each other hands and staring dumbfounded on the floor.

I sadly stared down as well, not knowing what to say letting Billy process his feelings and thoughts. What parent would want to hear that their child possibly has a fate worse than death? If Jacob goes on the route that have been laid by Meyers, he won't be able to pass over to the spirit world nor properly live. He would like a shadow of what he used to be prior to the transformation. I can't imagine what is going through in his mind at the moment. Possibly, he has many regrets of his interactions with Jacob, going into the trap of falling into the thinking "What ifs?"

Then Billy spoke angrily, "How can the spirits allow this sort of thing to occur? They allowed us to be manipulated for cheap profit in different worlds!"

Old Quil lightly scolded Billy, "No, Billy. I understand your frustrations, but you must not talk ill of the spirits. Have faith. Isn't that why they have sent a new peacemaker from a different world to help us in our time of desperate needs? They sent us the peacemaker just in time. After the fights with the newborn vampires, the pack will definitely need the peacemaker to adjust what has happened to them."

I added, "..There is still time to help Jacob, and the rest of the pack, Billy. I don't know how much I can help, but..there is a future that Meyers wrote for the shapeshifters, and I will try my very best to prevent it from happening and make a better future for all of them..I think it is best to not say what would happen until I start seeing the signs that our future is heading toward that direction"

Sue finally spoke with a hint of desperation in her eyes, "Rest of the pack? Like my Leah? Do you know anything to help her?" When she asked me that question, she already approached me, kneeling in front of me with her hands holding my hands. I felt uncomfortable with how she was looking at me..but I understand. She is desperate as a mother to know why Leah had to phase, and why she is not able to have her menstrual cycle.

I paused, debating whether to say it or not, so I said reassuring her, "Leah is not a freak of nature. She was not a mistake nor by accident. She was not 'broken' or 'defective' for her to become a wolf. There is a reason why she had phased. I strongly believe it was due to the fact of the newborn army was approaching and the emotional circumstances that was going through before she phased, the spirits chose her to be a spirit warrior (Not sure where this conviction is coming from). With her unable to have a normal menstrual cycle, there is this theory that was thrown around. As uncomfortable it may sound, there is a strong possibility that her menstrual cycle has become aligned to how wolves would have their menstrual cycle. Wolves mate once a year around January to March. Leah phased toward the end of March, so she just barely missed mating season. We can possibly see if this theory is true next year (A/N:Im not sure this was true in the books. I kind of forgot when exactly. I knew it was after spring break, and before Bella graduated in May). The next theory was that she is unable to have a menstrual cycle to focus on her role as a protector of the tribe, and when it is time for her to let go of the wolf spirit that lives in her, then she can have her menstrual cycle. Only if she wishes to let go of the wolf spirit, and the wolf spirit can come into truce to that agreement. I personally think she should with everything that she has gone through, but the decision is up to her."

Both Old Quil and Billy frowned. Old Quil opened his mouth and before he gets to speak, I cut him off and said "No offense. I know the council strongly believe that being protector of the tribe is a great honor and a gift, so the pack need to fulfill their roles to the highest esteem. But, look at reality, majority of the pack does not like being a wolf. They didn't ask nor they didn't want to be a shapeshifter. They feel trapped to the reservation, and no one should be feeling that way. It's one thing if they love being a wolf, and are okay being tied to the reservation, but no one should be stuck to this role against their own free will. Would you rather have a pack who protects the tribe reluctantly or out of their own volition? It's just wrong. I know you gave them encouragement to do well and that you appreciate the daily sacrifices that they are making to the tribe, but you made being a wolf is making their life harder that it should be. Keeping the secret of being a wolf from their own immediate family, it is only alienating them from their family, and that is definitely not right at all. Even if you were trying to protect the secret from leaking out"

By the time I was saying this, Sue was back by Old Quil side, sitting next to him. As if a water faucet blew up, I continued with a hint of anger in my voice, "The way the council handled the pack was very sloppy. I know you had enough wisdom to raise up money, so that in the future, when a new generation of wolves come, they can sustain themselves. But! You made everyone to know about what they become once they phased! Wasn't Sam enough of an example that it is so crucial for them to know what is going on with their body before they phased? Yeah sure, Sam and the ones who were already phased to help the new wolves to adjust, but they didn't need to go through more of a traumatic experience. It could have all been prevented. Knowing before the transformation, at least not the very brink of the transformation but the moment they start showing the signs, it could've helped them transitioned from being a normal human being to a shapeshifting wolf! They could've start preparing themselves mentally! It really didn't help that they had to keep their new role from their own family. They needed their family to help them, remind them of who they are, remind them that they are not a monster, and not get lost with having another entity in their body and mind. Because you have alienated them, Sam had to basically pick up the pieces of their fragile, scared minds, and he became a parental figure for all of them even to Jacob, Billy."

I now was looking at Billy, "that was supposed to be you, Billy. You were supposed to help Jacob during that time not Sam. Because you didn't warn Jacob beforehand, it actually hurt Jacob. His own father, the chief of the tribe couldn't show mercy to his own son and tell him what was going on? Instead, it made it harder for Jacob to transition into become a shapeshifting wolf. I don't think he still accept what has happened to him to this day, and thus keeps clinging onto loving Bella as an escape from accepting his role as protector of the tribe. Becoming a wolf actually made him feel like his free will was taken away from him and that his own father didn't he even care about what has happened to him as long as he was able to fulfill this role as a protector of the tribe and become the next chief. This pushes Jacob even more to not accept his wolf spirit and his new phase in life. It just looked like as long as he becomes what it is expected of him, sacrifices were needed, but this sacrifice wasn't needed, Billy. Your relationship with Jacob and Jacob's mental wellbeing shouldn't been a sacrifice. Because he was not on a good mental state after he became a wolf, I strongly believe that is also why he was susceptible to manipulation by Meyers. You push Jacob away Billy, but now you have another chance to correct your mistakes and do better. Instead of advising him what he needs to do, what he needs to become, be there for Jacob and accept him for who he wants to be. Don't keep seeing him of what he could be or should be. Listen to him, he does have a lot on his shoulder. He carries burdens that no other teenager should be going through, but due to circumstances, he is. I know you thought not telling him, you were protecting him so he can continue to live like a normal teenager just a little longer, but honestly it just looked like you wanted to push the responsibility on the pack and Sam. We can help him Billy, and hopefully help him to accept himself, but things gotta change Billy. The council needs to change not for Jacob's sake but everyone's sake."

I paused as I was trying to calm myself with deep breaths. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why am I being this emotional? Where are th It feels like I'm the one who is experiencing this. I feel like I am going to burst out in tears, so I got up and I was aboutta walk out of the door until I said, "I'm sorry. Give me time to calm myself down, I won't go too far out."

I heard Emily exclaiming after me, "Wait!", but I didn't listen and walked out.

I walked out from the back, and I walked close to the forest. I slumped down behind a tree and wept. I wept and wept. I don't know how much time has passed, but I was reminded of the feelings that I had about Jacob when I first read about him back in intermediate school. When I read New Moon, I adored Jacob as a character, but to see how ugly of a character he became. It was like I personally was getting justice on behalf of Jacob and the wolf pack and for everyone who used to deeply care for Jacob, enraged of how he was treated by Meyers.

I sat there, looking aimlessly at Sam's place. I took the time to look at my surrounding. Forks really is a quiet place, well technically the Quileute reservation. The forest is thick with greens, thick and huge trees that looked like it has been here for centuries. I couldn't see the sun because it was cloudy outside, but I can see that the sun was going down as the area starting to dim. I heard my stomach rumbling, and since I didn't get the chance to eat much today, I was famished. I got up, and I was about to leave until it hit me.

Wait, the sun is going down? That means…I woke up really late to the afternoon so time passed by quicker today, and the newborn fight should be ending anytime soon. I heard Emily calling for me outside, "Ale! Rosalie Cullen is oh your phone calling!"

I called out, "Okay!"

Suddenly, there was a huge gush of wind that passed behind me. I felt someone breathing heavily behind my neck, and I felt it's heavy misty breathing behind me. When I turned around, I was looking straight at a silver, grey horse-sized wolf staring at me with his silver eyes. He was growling lowly at me, flashing parts of his long teeth at me.

Why is Paul here, and why does he look upset at me?

Author's Note:

Woo! That chapter was pretty long.

Was Ale's outburst to the elders out of character? Hopefully not, I felt like it was needed to be addressed. There is also another reason why she had that outburst to the elders. Stay tune for more! I will typically update 2 to 4 times a week, so I won't disappear on you guys like that.

As always, reviews are very much appreciated. Thank you for the support and encouragement!