"Okay, "Bruce took a deep sigh while pinching the bridge of his nose and then looked at all the young men in front of him. "Let's do a recap, let's do a roll call, shall we?"
Damian nodded,although feeling like he was in a fever dream. His baba didn't look any better, he could tell he was trying to keep his composure. He turned around only to look at himself. Literally. There was a man next to him, at his left, who looked just like him, except for the short spiky hair and the beard, and the fact that he was dressed as the Head of the Demon.
He was the first one to talk.
"If I were to make an educated guess," he said with an arabic accent and a formal demeanor. "I would assume that my grandfather got tired of looking for an heir on this earth and opted to go look for another one in a different one. But he failed to find one that suited his...agenda."
He said the last word in a pejorative manner while looking over the first Damian's shoulder. This made him turn around to the right to look at another Damian, this one had long hair and an unshaved stache, he was wearing a black oversized t-.shirt and ripped jeans. His joyful expression and...peculiar smell seemed to indicate that he was, medically speaking, high out of his mind.
"Holy shit bruh this house is bitchin' " he exclaimed while admiring the chandelier hanging from the roof. He continued to walk straight to Bruce while continuing to look at it and he walked into him."Wow, is there a mirror here? I look so old!...and white!" he said while touching "his" father's face.
Bruce gently pulled the hand of the young man out of his face and looked at his actual son to say something but was interrupted by the sound of a baby babbling.
"Oh sorry!" Damian from earth-52 sheepishly said from the couch he was sitting in, he also had long hair but it was tied in a bun, accompanied by reading glasses and also was carrying an infant on a baby sling. "It looks like Akio is getting a little cranky."
Next to him there was a bald Damian dressed in a black cowless overcoat, he was looking straight at Bruce, with a weird look on his face as if he was inspecting him.
"I apologize for staring, my father was killed by zombies fourteen years ago." he announced nonchalantly.
"Are we talking about our fathers right now?" A final Damian said, he was the one who most resembled the actual Damian, he was floating across the room while wearing a black spandex suit with a green bat-symbol on his chest. "Mine is alive and well but he can be an overbearing, overprotective, piece of work. He never quite got over the fact that I died and came back as a metahuman."
The first Damian, and Bruce looked at each other, this was a surreal experience. The young man had come back to his apartment from a college class only to find these people waiting for him.
"Maybe Constantine can help?" the first Damian suggested. "He's always dealing with this sort of thing."
"Love that dude!" Stoner Damian said, throwing his hands up. "We always eat mustard packets on the back of his car."
"Constantine is also dead on my earth," Batman Damian added.
"I killed him on mine," Head Damian chimed in.
"Can we not talk about killing in front of my kid?" Parent Damian covered his kids' ears.
"You must be new here," Meta Damian rolled his eyes
"Alright enough!" Bruce yelled, getting all the Damians' attention."We need to get everybody back to their respective earths."
"White Damian is right!" the stoner agreed.
Bruce continued. "We are all going to the Watchtower right now and fixing this!"
The first Damian nodded, standing next to him to seem more authoritarian than he actually was, all while trying to pretend his brain wasn't melting from all the information he was getting right now.
"Baba," Damian whispered to his father. "Are you sure it is a good idea to bring them all to the Watchtower?" while looking at Demon Damian and Stoner Damian talking to each other.
"What if stars are just tears in the sky?" Stoner Damian said.
"I could slay you right here and right now." Demon Damian responded.
Bruce nodded "They won't kill each other while surrounded by heroes."
"Alright," Earth-1!Damian said. "Let's do this."
They had to take the bat-plane. Bruce was driving while Batman Damian was next to him as a co-pilot (he claimed to have more experience on it than regular Damian). The rest of the Damians were on the back, seating across each other and looking at each other curiously.
Head of the Demon Damian had his arms crossed and was particularly staring at Parent Damian who was playing with his baby by making him bounce on his knee.
"How could you bring a kid into this world?" he finally asked, with venom in his voice.
Parent Damian frowned: "Excuse me?"
Stoner Damian touched Meta Damian's shoulder while snickering and pointing at Head of the Demon Damian. "He doesn't know where babies come from."
Damian knew himself enough to know a quarrel was coming. "Let's not fight, none of us know why the other would make the decisions they made on their earth."
"That's true," Batman Damian agreed from the co-pilot's chair. "We all had to do what was best for us to survive."
"Isn't that the thing about Damians after all?" Meta Damian said. "We survived despite of it all."
A silence fell over the plane.
"If I may speak," Bruce said suddenly after being silent for the whole flight up until that point. "I'm curious to know how you all lived until now."
"I seriously don't think this is the moment for storytelling now, Baba." Damian stated.
"We have plenty of time until we arrive at the Watchtower." Bruce argued. And Damian knew in his heart that his father wouldn't budge until he knew every detail of the life of his sons, even though they weren't technically his sons.
Soon enough, slowly, all of the Damians opened up about their life. And to everyone's surprise, Head of the Demon Damian was the first one to do so.
"I never met my father," Demon Damian said after another moment of silence. "I was surprised to learn you all did."
"Sorry to hear that." Damian said sincerely. "I assume that means that you haven't met Richard."
"Grayson? Oh I know him, all too well actually, he was the one who taught me to reform the League into something I could be proud of." The Demon confessed and he seemed surprised by himself, as if he was confessing a very intimate secret.
"Richard is the best!" Damian the stoner said. "He taught me how to shave after my parents divorce."
"He helped me get a hang of my powers when I first started out." The metahuman Damian added.
"He talked me out of my fears of being a parent." Parent Damian chimed in.
"He was a great hero." Batman Damian concluded.
Damian smiled at himself, perhaps Richard was a constant of the universe. Someone who was destined to make his life better, always.
It seemed like the memory of Dick Grayson made everyone be a little bit nicer to each other. Damian listened carefully to Stoned Damian's high ramblings, Metahuman Damian and Batman Damian had an interesting talk about the different politics of each earth and Demon Damian and Parent Damian seemed to have made peace as well. Each of them had an unique story and an unique, own point of view to share
"Bruce!" Clark smiled as he saw his best friend entering the Watchtower, but he quickly
stopped as he saw all of the Damian's following him like ducks in a row. "Oof, multiversal crisis, I see."
"You have no idea." Batman rubbed his temple. "Is Constantine here?"
"He's at the library, I'll bring him right in." Clark said and flew away.
"Thank you." Bruce said as he sat tirelessly at the chair of the meeting table.
The rest of the Damians followed him and sat on the table: Stoner Damian spun rapidly on his chair happily, Parent Damian shushed his baby, Head Damian looked around him conspicuously, Meta Damian stayed where he was while floating, Batman Damian joint his hands and waited patiently for Super to return and Damian just sat calmly next to his father.
They stayed in silence for a few seconds until a smell of beer made itself present. Bruce could hardly control his eye roll.
"Constantine, how good of you to join us on such short notice."
Clark glanced around the room nervously, taking note of the hint of irritation in Bruce's voice. The Damians didn't seem to have a much better reaction to Constantine. Head Damian had pulled a knife out from somewhere and was casually polishing it, while Batman Damian looked on with a somber air. Only Stoner Damian seemed happy to see the magician, leaping up from his seat and enveloping him in a hug. Parent Damian snickered at the pure fear that had flickered across Constantine's face, and Clark could swear that Bruce was smirking.
"I… I can see that you were not joking about your problem." Constantine managed a weak grin, awkwardly patting Stoner Damian on the back before pulling away. "Let's see what I can do, 'lright?"
Constantine puttered around the room for a few minutes, poking at each of the Damian's briefly. This got varied, irritated reactions, but Clark was surprised that the only one to actively threaten the wizard was Parent Damian. "Alrigh', this looks li'e it was just a simple unifying spell that wen' wrong. All you lil buggers should 'ave been combined into 'the perfect soldier' from wha' I can tell, but that kinda magic? It's wicked difficult an' only the best wizards could do it righ'"
Bruce raised his eyebrow derisively. "Does that mean that you won't be able to reverse it?"
"Don't be an arse, B'man. It doesn' suit ya." Constantine glared. "O course I can reverse it."
With that, he dramatically raised his hands and began to chant. The Damians looked on with varying levels of excitement and boredom as a huge, swirling portal formed.
"This should bring you mates to their respective universes but...don't ever ask me to do it again alrigh'? This takes a lot of manpower to make and I could lose my magic energy by doing so." And with that Constantine left, probably to have a nap.
"I guess this is goodbye," Parent Damian said while holding Akio closer to his chest.
"Are you crying?" Head Damian asked.
"We can't all be emotionless killers!" He spated through tears. Head Damian looked really offended but held whatever comment he had for himself.
"I'm going to miss you!" Stoned Damian said as he hugged both Damian and Bruce. "The Titans back at home aren't going to believe this!"
"You're with the Titans?" Damian asked, shocked.
"I'm their leader."
Metahuman looked at Bruce: "My baba is going to have a heart attack when he finds out when I've been."
Bruce smiled at him "I'm sure he just wants what's best for you."
"I know." Meta Damian smirked back at him.
"It's been real," Batman Damian said while giving his alter-ego and his father's alter-ego a handshake. "It's been relaxing to take a break from the zombies."
"Hope you can sort than one out." Damian said awkwardly. Batman smiled at him.
All of them went into the portal ony by one, going into their respective worlds.
Damian and Bruce smiled at all of them. This sure had been a weird experience, but a gratifying one. Seeing oneself from another world always brought in a new perspective