When I woke up to the noise of the alarm I was happy to see Nate laying there beside me, sleeping peacefully until a few seconds later when he realized the sound of the alarm.

"Morning sleeping beauty", I joke as I get out of bed and open the curtains slightly to see the hustle and bustle of the already busy Manhattan streets.

That's one of the reasons I loved it here in the city. It really was all I had ever known. Always something going on, no matter the time of day. I liked growing up here. I think our baby will too.

"Too bright", Nate complains about the sunlight coming in. "How are you this alive already?"

"I have a really important test this morning, I'm already psyched up and ready", I say, pulling my hairbrush off the bedside table and brushing my hair, before putting some concealer and eye makeup on.

Suddenly I start to not feel so good. My stomach feels like it's tossing and turning.

I was used to this by now, but still, I thought maybe one morning it would be different.

"Uh oh", I say to myself, starting to feel it before I run to the bathroom to throw up.

I hear Nate behind me, eventually sitting beside me on the floor, rubbing my back.

"Hot, right?", I joke with him.

"Oh totally", he smiles back, before getting up to get me a glass of water.

I flush the toilet and wash my mouth out with the water.

"I'm sorry the nausea is so bad. I'll make you some tea?", Nate suggests.

"That would be awesome, thanks", I say and he makes his way to the kitchen, still in his underwear.

I pick up my toothbrush to brush my teeth. I'd still been using the same toothpaste tube as Nate. Dan was right, I needed to stop living like someone who was on vacation and had lost their luggage.

I go to put on my school uniform, one of the only outfits I have here, and walk out to the kitchen.

My hairs a mess, probably my makeup too, and I feel sicker than ever.

I come over to my bag to go through it looking for my history binder with the notes for the test in it.

It's not there. I go through the whole living room, my mind now on panic mode.

"Nate have you seen my history binder?", I ask, annoyed at myself for not being more organized.

He comes over with my tea in a travel mug.

"No, I haven't, do you think you left it at the loft?", Nate asks.

"Oh my god… I am so dumb. Oh my god, I'm gonna fail", I slump down on the couch, my head in my hands now.

I didn't have any time to waste. I knew I had to be at school soon, but I felt overwhelmed.

"Jenny it's okay, I'll stop by the loft and come bring it to you", Nate says, trying to calm me.

"No it's okay, seriously… I mean it's not like I'm going to go to school next year anyway, so why does it matter?", I say slightly sarcastically. "No it's fine… I'll just be a pregnant dropout teenager".

"Jenny c'mon that's not gonna happen".

I get up and get my bag together, realizing I'm basically crying now.

"Sorry I just really want my binder, I think I'm gonna hurl again, and my boobs hurt so bad, like so bad", I groan throwing things in my bag at random, trying to get my shit together, throwing a bag of little cookies in there for later for when the sugar cravings come on.

Nate can't help but laugh.

"Shut up!", I throw bag of cookies at him and it lands behind him on the couch. "Ugh god I'm sorry this is what you signed up for I guess. A crazy, hormonal, insane girlfriend. Feel free to back out any time".

I throw my bag over my shoulder, wiping my eyes.

He comes over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"I'm kind of falling in love with this crazy, hormonal, weirdo so it looks like I'm too far in", He shrugs, smirking and then hugs me.

"It's okay Jenny, let's just get you to school and then I'll just text Dan and pick up the binder from him", he says as I'm in his arms.

"Okay", I get out with a sigh. "I might barf on you on the way there though".

"Well that's a gamble I'm willing to take", Nate jokes.

We're on the street now, my mug of tea in my hand, Gravol in my purse to take later.

I'm trying to hail a cab.

"Nate don't worry about my notes, I'll just have Dan bring them", I say to him.

"What, why?"

"Well… I don't really want you like coming around to the school. People know you", I say. "As much as I wanna see you, I don't want people wondering why we're together".

"You don't want people to know about us?", He looks confused.

"No… I want our friends and family to know about us, but the New York City rumor mill… that's a whole other thing", I remind him.

"Yeah I guess you're right, people will find out eventually though", Nate says.

"I know, but then I'll be out of high school with all the mean girls, and I'll be 17, so people won't talk about our ages as much hopefully…", I say holding onto his arms. "I do want to be with you though, you know that right?"

He leans down to kiss me quickly on the lips.

"Yeah I know. I get it", he says, and he ends up hailing a cab. He's much better at it than me. Whenever I'm in Manhattan I can't seem to get a cab to stop, Serena says I'm not assertive enough.

We both get in.

"At least we can ride together until I get out at school and you can take it to Columbia", I say.

"Even if it's just two minutes I'll take it".

I smile at him.

"Also Jenny, I don't want you to feel bad about the college applications thing… I know things are different than you thought they would be in your senior year and I feel bad about it… like really bad", He starts.

"Nate it's not your fault. It's just what it is", I cut him off.

"No, but it's important to me, I don't want you to feel like you can't go to school next year", He grabs my hand from my lap.

"Yeah but with a baby? I mean I was reading this article the other night about the baby's first year and it said that the most important thing to them is being with their mother. I mean I have to breastfeed, and pump and stuff, god I don't even know how to do that".

I don't even realize how much I'm rambling.

"It's just hard", I sigh. "I want to do this right, and not put myself first, but I also don't want to fully give up my dreams".

"I think you're forgetting that I'm here too. I can't breastfeed", Nate says and I laugh. "But I can take care of it a good chunk of time if you're at school. And honestly your dad and Lily seem like they would be happy to babysit, along with Serena, Eric, Blair, Chuck".

"I'm not letting Chuck anywhere near our baby", I laugh slightly. "And I'm still on the fence about Blair".

Nate chuckles.

"Yeah maybe you're right, but the point is you're not alone, I don't want you to ever feel like that… I want you to have everything you want", He squeezes my hand.

"Well I have you don't I?", I give him a quick peck on the cheek, realizing we've pulled up to Constance.

Nate smiles at me.

"That you do", he says.

"Goodbye Archibald, good luck at your lacrosse game later", I wink and see him smile before getting out of the cab quickly, hoping no one will see us together.

I rush into school, aware of the time and the fact that my teacher will kill me if I'm not in my desk right at 8:50 when school starts.

I rush through a hallway to my locker, full well knowing I look like a mess. I pop a gravol in my mouth, I always buy the children's ones or else I'm out like a light, and sip my tea swallowing it down.

My phone buzzes.

Dan: I have your binder dummy. I'm outside.

I roll my eyes.

Thank god for my brother.

I put my stuff in my locker and run back out to see Dan standing there.

"Oh my gosh, you're totally saving my life right now, thank you!", I hug him, grabbing my notes.

"Yeah no problem, I had to come up around this way anyway to drop something off at Serena's", Dan shrugs.

I give him a look.

"Not like that okay?", He rolls his eyes at me. "We're I don't know… talking again, it's nice. But just friends for now".

"That's okay", I say. "That's how me and Nate started. Although don't take 2 years like we did".

"Yeah I'll try", Dan laughs. "I hate to say this… but I kind of miss you at home. It's not the same without that screechy voice annoying me while I'm trying to enjoy some Fitzgerald".

"I don't have a screechy voice!", I whine and give him a look. "I don't!"

"You're doing it right now", He laughs.

"Whatever", I push my hair behind my ear and joke around with him. "I won't come back then".

"I'm serious Jen, I really do miss you. Nate doesn't make spaghetti like I do, I'm sure", He jokes.

Spaghetti is the one thing Dan can cook. He's weirdly proud of it, and pulls it out any chance he can.

"Yeah but there's other perks to living with Nate", I say matter-of-fact.

"Ew", Dan scrunches his fact up in disgust. "Don't wanna know".

"I'm not talking about that… dummy", I cross my arms and then talk more hushed. "I'm talking about the fact that I'm getting to know the father of my baby better, and the fact that there's more room for a nursery there. I mean do you really want a screaming baby annoying you at all hours? That would really put a damper in your Fitzwilliam or whatever".

"Fitzgerald", Dan points out and I laugh. "And I guess you're right. I just love you Jen".

We hug.

"I love you too. But I'm seriously going to be dead if I don't try to inhale all these notes into my brain in the…", I look at the time on my phone and groan. "Ten minutes I have until my test".

"Okay miss pregnant teen", Dan jokes and I give him the finger jokingly as he waves and makes his way back down the street.

I rush back into class, sit down in my desk and stare at my notes trying to take them in before the test. There's only about 4 other students in here so far. I take a deep breath, it's still not the scariest test I've taken, that one would be last month with two pink lines.

Mrs. Jensen comes in as more students start to pile into the classroom and she hands out the tests.

Overall it's seeming to go okay, I'm almost done when a bunch of people's phones immediately ping.

"Girls! What did I say about turning your phones off?", Mrs Jensen sighs.

I hear murmurs and gasps around the class from the people who pull their phones out.

"Girls! Back to the test", Mrs. Jensen demands. "Class is over in fifteen minutes and then your time is your own until your next class, but for now, class is in session".

I shrug, and take my test up to the front to hand it in, and wait for the clock to wind down until I'm finally let out with the rest of the girls.

"Jenny, might wanna check gossip girl", this girl Janice looks at me with a small laugh and I nod.

As I walk over to my locker, I scan the new gossip girl blast I suppose all the girls in my class had received.

Gossip Girl:

Looks like Nate might have a certain new blonde in his life. And no it's not Serena.

Then there's a photo of me getting out of his cab.

Seem familiar? Almost the exact same photo as the one from B's Birthday Party two years ago. At least this time we know the mystery blonde. Does a certain Brooklyn resident seem familiar?

I roll my eyes slightly.

Wow so witty Dan. Great.

I get a text from Dan.

D: Sorry Jen, multiple people sent in pictures. It would look suspicious if I didn't post it.

I reply.

J: It's okay Dan. It was going to come out sometime.

I then look up to see three girls staring back at me. Jasmine, Karina, and Katie. This year's new Blair and co.

"Oh hi", I'm surprised slightly. "Can I help you?"

They look at me with slightly mean looks.

"Of all of the girls…", Jasmine says looking at the other two like I'm not there.

"We just want to know how you did it?", Katie speaks up and looks at me, and I look back at her like I don't know what she's talking about.

Karina sighs.

"How the heck did you nab Nate Archibald?!", Karina practically demands, seeming annoyed.

"I don't know what you're talking about", I shut my locker and sling my bag over my shoulder. "We're friends, we've been friends for a long time".

They look me up and down.

"Whatever Little J", Karina shakes her head. "If Nate Archibald is going to be dating a Constance girl it wouldn't be you anyway".

Mmm okay.

I just shoot them a look and walk away in the opposite direction.

They didn't really bother me. I knew what I had with Nate.

I mean there always was that seed of doubt in my mind about why Nate was dating me I suppose. I had brought it up to Eric yesterday and it was a thought that often bounced around in my brain.

Is he only with me because he found out I'm pregnant and he feels like he has to be?

I'm sure that's what everyone here would think when they eventually found out.

I don't like to think that that could be true, but I honestly don't know. And I don't think Nate would say if it was.

I had to just remind myself of all the moments. All the small moments over the past two weeks like little things last night, and all the big moments, like hearing our baby for the first time and the way he looked into my eyes.

I didn't think he could fake that.

But I couldn't put myself in a position to get hurt if it was. I wouldn't. Not for the well-being of myself, but mainly not for the well being of my new greatest priority; my baby.

I don't know if it was some kind of mother instinct kicked in, but I constantly was now thinking about what would be good for the baby or what wasn't. I mean before I would've eaten whatever and done whatever, but now I always think about it. Eat more protein, more vegetables, don't stop behind the bus to breath in fumes, don't stand in front of the microwave when I'm heating food up.

Maybe that was stupid, but I wanted to be careful about everything. I wanted to be the best I could be. Wanted to be better than my mother. I like to tell myself she tried her best, but I feel like she kind of gave up on me when I was only 13 to go off and live a different life that didn't seem to include me. I didn't want my kid to ever feel that way.

And I wanted to start off on the right foot from the start.

So getting my heart broken was the last thing that could happen. I don't think I could bear it.

So I continue walking to my next class, despite the nausea and the tiredness, and try my best to not focus on if Nate and me would be together if there was no baby in the picture.