Alright, I promise that I am not dead. It's been a long time since I got on here and posted something for you all to chew on, heh.I have been so busy with work and my sister and my nephew.Anyway, it's nice to be back in the saddle again lmao. Without further ado, please enjoy this new chapter of "The Quality of Mercy".
Ed:
The train clacked along the tracks, the sound filling the silence that fell between us. I looked to the window, watching as the scenery flew by beyond the glass. This trip was familiar enough, Resembool to East City being a route we had taken many times. It felt more alien that Roy –Mustang—shared the bench seat with me instead of my little brother, honestly, but taking this train with Al would be completely different now, as well.
Memories were easily tinged golden by nostalgia, after all. The hollow, tinny echo of his voice bouncing from inside the empty armor I had bound his soul to was sweet in my memory, but that was because he was always, ever Alphonse. I would never trade the body he had now for the memories I dreamed about. Even if my younger brother was …unable to accept me the way I was, I had never had any such problem accepting my brother, no matter what form I found him in.
"As stubborn as ever, then," Mustang mused, a wry smile twisting his lips into a half a smile that was far too appealing to be tolerated. May the gods help me if he ever directed an actual smile my direction!
"I see you're still the most ambitious man in the room," I shot back, smirking at the older man.
Trading barbs like these was so very familiar, but as adrift as I was in a sea of unfamiliar things, I couldn't help but cling to familiarity of the ritual. Hell, this was probably the nicest shit we had ever said to each other during one of these exchanges. These little islands of comfort were tenuous at best, but they were really all I had.
It seemed to draw a smile out of him, a softer sort than I had ever before seen on his face. "I'm… not so sure about that, anymore. We have created a better Amestris. What more do I have to seek?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at that, although the sound was probably hollow. Perhaps I could be of use to Mustang, yet. "It feels sort of empty, doesn't it? Being so driven, striving with every ounce of yourself to reach the goal you set before yourself… But when you finally get to it, it's like all of your purpose melts away all at once. What should have been this… grand catharsis, or whatever, it just leaves behind this surprising numbness."
His hand slid back, threading through the black silken strands of his hair. Goddamn but why did he have to be so damn attractive, even in this sort of state? Heaven knew I would be a damn hot mess, but when he did it, some how he was a hot mess. And of fucking course, every single one of those dark strands fell neatly back into their place in his perfectly tousled hair.
"It's hard to not feel a little lost," he admitted softly.
I smiled at him, sliding my fingertips across the back of his hand before my brain thought better of the casual comfort I was offering to him. "Well, Roy… you have two perfectly good legs. Stand up and walk forward."
"The person who used to help me move forward is gone now," he admitted, his face falling. The expression he wore rode a careful line between stern severity and sadness and it made something in my chest feel like dying a bit.
Shaking my head, I hoped I could also hope I could shake lose whatever sadness was settling around my heart. "Hughes… he was like that, though. Always had the most reliable intel, always trying his best to guide us. But there's no reason to act like you're all alone out here, either, Roy. What about Hawkeye… Havoc… Breda… Fuery… Fallman… the Armstrongs, for that matter…?" "I shrugged. "I am certain there are many others, as well."
"They all help in their own ways, I suppose, but they need me too. And I find myself wondering at times I have anything left to give them, anymore."
"I thought you meant to be Fuhrer, Roy." I so desperately wanted to kiss those downturned lips, so I directed my attention elsewhere, the easiest of which to allow myself to linger on being his nose. Not that it wasn't as goddamn perfect as the rest of him, it simply wasn't as sensual, emotional, or as likely to get me into trouble. "You can't be as tired as all of that. Amestris still had so much growing to do. Aren't you there to help it do so? Protect the ones you care for and build them a better future."
Stunned, his eyes widened –eyes that were a surprisingly captivating shade of charcoal, much like the aftermath of a fire, and yet surprisingly more expressive and softer than I remembered them being.
"When… when did you become so wise, Edward?"
I had never heard less than perfect speech ever come from Roy Mustang's mouth, let alone a doubled word or a hesitation –not once in my damn life. Judging from the way his mood had lifted in the last few minutes, now was hardly the time to tease him about it.
Still, I sheepishly lifted my arm to bury my fingers in the loose hair at the base of my head with a fond laugh. "I can't be the same rash boy for my whole life, now can I, Roy?"
Besides, it wasn't as if I hadn't had an absolute glut of time to think through everything and nothing, whether of much or little consequences.
"It seems sometimes you have a way with words." He smiled as he spoke, fondness I hadn't really expected quite evident in his tone. Though, I guess, he did just leave his life to come drag me in out of the wilds of my own thoughts and poor decisions.
I couldn't contain my laughter. "Don't try to flatter me. I am hopelessly blunt. Al forever scolds me for being too cruel and blunt with my words."
"That doesn't mean that those words aren't what I needed to hear. Don't judge yourself so harshly, either: your delivery would have been much less eloquent a few years ago."
I couldn't keep from shaking my head at that and laughing yet again. "I had to have learned something from working under you for so long, General Bastard."
He threw back his head and laughed and I would be damned if it wasn't the most beautiful sound I had heard in years.
Hope this is a strong stride on my way back to being back to writing. I have missed it so.Laters, my loves,~Sins~