Amanda shook her head, clearing her mind as she continued to climb yet another mole hill in her mountain of procrastinated paperwork. Her coffee sat unfinished on the desk, growing cold as she continued the job of transferring backlogged cases into the online database. This, admittedly, was her least favorite part of her job, though if she were being honest, she enjoyed this far more than she had enjoyed paperwork back in Atlanta. Patton, had made it a habit for her to do her paperwork in his office, usually after everyone else had gone home. How had she been so stupid, to believe a word he said when he called her his daughter? How had she been so blind? Didnt she learn anything from the academy?

"Amanda." Olivia's voice drew her from her thoughts, and she looked up, realizing with a start that she had stopped typing, her hands instead clutching at her locket, staring at the wall behind the computer. "You ok? You seem a little tense."

"Im good. Just need to stretch my legs a bit. Think I'll take an early lunch break and take Frannie to the park for a walk." Amanda tried to ignore the piercing brown gaze that clearly knew she was hiding something. Olivia, as Amanda had come to find out, ALWAYS knew. Even if she didnt know right away, even if it took her a long time to figure out, she always knew. She always knew.

"'Kay." Olivia smiled, shaking her head slightly as she step backwards, allowing Amanda room to stand up from the cramped desk. "You might want to do something indoors. Its raining cats and dogs out there."

"So? She likes the rain. She's a water dog." Amanda knew her excuse was lame but she enjoyed the banter between them anyways. She always loved the rare moments that she and Olivia were able to joke around with one another. Her senior detective was always so serious, and rarely offered her even so much as a smile in the beginning, but, ever since the morning she brought her breakfast, Olivia had become more of a friend to her, and for that, she was grateful. Lucky, yes. She was lucky. She really needed to go, test her luck. Spend some more time in that online gambling room. If she took an early lunch, she'd be in time to catch the eleven a.m. poker game.

"She's a pitbull, Rolllins, not a water dog. I think you're thinking about Labs." Olivia called out with a chuckle, as she watched Amanda all but fly towards the elevator.

"Okay Frannie, let's see girl. I've got quads. If no one does better, Im going to win five grand." Amanda stroked her dogs ears as she lounged on her couch, not even realizing that an extra hour had gone by. She checked her phone, rolling her eyes as she pulled herself up off the couch.

"On my way Captain." She responded to the ten texts from her boss, mentally cursing herself for being late. She knew Cragen wasn't going to buy her lie of falling asleep on the couch with Frannie. But she would have to at least try. She grabbed her white coat off the hook, pulling it over her shoulders, and buttoning it, tying the sash securely as she grabbed her purse and keys.

"Mommy will be back tonight, ok baby girl? You be a good dog and play with that new kong I bought you last night." She kissed her dog on the muzzle, tossing the kong toy to the other end of the apartment, laughing to herself as the pitbull barked and raced after it.

"Where the hell were you? We have a case on our hands, and I've already told the press YOU were going to do the perp walk! You cant just take a two hour lunch break!" Cragen snapped, looking her up and down, eyes narrowing as he shook his head. "We will discuss this later. Get that woman into the car and down to Central Booking. You're damn lucky you got here in time."

Rollins shook her head, taking the Madam by the shoulder and pushing her ahead, walking down stairs and pushing her past the media frenzy out in front of the Precinct. She opened the car door, pulling the seatbelt over the other woman and clicking it into place, before walking around to check the security of the other door.

Pain. White hot pain. That was the only thing Amanda felt as she sank against the door of the car, whimpering, crying out as she fell to the ground.

"L..L..L.." She struggled to form the words, barely saw Fin beside her, barely heard his voice as she felt a hand press down over the wound. The sky was so pretty. So pretty, so very...blue...Blue….Blue tick hound...hound...Banjo….Banjo...Good boy Banjo….Boy….Boy..no..Frannie was a girl...her lucky girl...luck...luck..lottery tickets. Poker...No...was this about the debt she owed? Owed? No. She wanted to live. Live...Liv...Olivia...Olivia! She'd never told Olivia how she felt! Oh no. Where was she? Where was Olivia? Moving. She was moving.

Rough calloused hands replaced by soft ones, keeping pressure on the wound.

"Rollins, I need you to look at me. Bus is coming. Keep your eyes on me, ok? Come on now. Hey! ROLLINS! Open your eyes!"

Eyes. Pretty eyes. Brown eyes. Warm eyes. Was Wonder Woman crying? She needed to wipe away the tears. Tears. Tears. Patton. Banjo. Benson. Benson. It was Benson! Not Wonder Woman. No. Benson was here! She couldnt be here!

"Go...away." With all the strength she had, she pushed Olivia's hand away, though she wanted, no, needed her there. All she could think about was the night Olivia had told her about on the phone. She wouldnt let Olivia watch her die too. Couldnt be the cause of her tears.

"G..go….go….now….get...away from me….dont want you to see…..this…...again." Every word was pain. Pain. like the time she'd broken her arm on the swingset in kindergarten. Kindergarten. Fingerpaint. She liked fingerpaint. Red paint. Red used to be her favorite color. Now it was blue. Blue. BLUE! Blue tick hound. Banjo. Banjo.

"Rollins, what are you talking about? I'm not leaving you. Again? Honey? What? Oh thank God. The Bus!"

Bus. She hated the bus. Busses were full of the stuck up cheerleaders who made fun of her, and the stupid football jocks who wanted to have sex with her.

"No….bus…" Amanda whimpered, yelping as she tried to raise her hand, calming instantly as she felt Olivia's hand press it back down softly.

"You need a bus. We're going to the hospital. Keep your eyes open for me? Ok? Can you do that? Keep your eyes open?"

Open. Right, as if she would close them, with Olivia so near. Olivia. Pretty Olivia. Kind Olivia, Brave Olivia. She was so brave. So warm, so...so….

Amanda was lying there, still as death, her chest rising and falling, eyes closed. Olivia sat vigil in the chair beside the bed, where she had been for the past five hours.

"Hey." Olivia whispered, brushing a strand of hair from Amanda's face. "You..You're going to be fine. You'd better be, because I cant lose you too. Not like I lost Alex. I CAN'T lose you. I dont even have you, yet." Olivia sighed, shaking her head.

"Yet. Who am I kidding? You wouldnt have me in a million years. You probably dont even like women, in that way. And even if you did, so what? You wouldn't want a damn thing to do with me. In that way anyway." She took a deep breath.

"You looked like Alex today. After you were shot. All...all that blood. That damn blood. She...she died, in my arms, a long time ago. I never even told her how I felt, I mean, not exactly. I wanted to. I..I...cant make that same mistake now. I cant let you die, without you knowing. But I know you're not going to hear this. I know it. But I...I need you to be ok. Please, dont leave me like everyone else does? Dont leave me. I need you to be the one that stays." She took a deep breath.

"Come back to me Rollins. Come back to me."