Kurt slides into the booth with a groan, picking up the pot of coffee before he even takes off his scarf. His friends watch in amusement as he adds a scoop of sugar and tops it with cream. Usually he takes his coffee just black, but after his day…
Dani takes the sugar away as he eyes the canister again. "Rough day?" she asks in sympathy.
"The worst," he laments to his friends as he takes a cautious sip and allows his wired body to fully relax into the booth. Two years into his employment, he convinced Gunther to invest in premium roasted coffee sourced from a local shop. It may be too late in the day for coffee and too early for alcohol. Kurt doesn't care for social norms today.
A waitress appears like magic at his side and he takes in another gulp before ordering. "A sunshine omelet with chicken sausage on the side and a Bloody Mary." He's been coming to the Spotlight Diner since he worked here as a waiter in college, surviving on tips and random performances on the piano, and their 24-hour brunch menu is hard to resist.
"Oh, that's right!" Elliott responds. "Rehearsals started today for your new play."
"They officially started last week," Kurt corrects, "but fucking Brody pulled out of the role on Thursday."
"What?"
"It's been fucking shitstorm since then, let me tell you."
"He just quit?"
"I'm sure somebody suggested that it might damage his fucking pathetic career playing a gay man with someone who is actually gay. He's always been a talentless hack and I dreaded trying to pretend to be in love with that creeper. But did he have to do it right before rehearsals started?"
"So have they found a replacement?" Elliott probes.
Kurt nods. "Mhmm. They held emergency auditions this weekend. I had to come in and do test readings with a dozen different men this weekend."
"The new guy has to be better." Dani sips her drink.
"Well, yes. I guess. They hired Adam Crawford. You know, my costar from The Boy From Oz. And the guy I slept with after the cast party."
"Oh! The one you ghosted the next morning." Elliott smirks.
"I didn't ghost him. I had things to do the next morning." Kurt clarifies with a frown.
"You didn't leave a note." Elliott points out.
"There was no paper." Kurt protests. "I wasn't going to rummage through his things."
"Or respond to his texts."
"I didn't know what to say!" Kurt protests.
"Face it, Hummel, you made no attempt to contact him. You ghosted."
Kurt slumps against the booth. "You're right. It was rude. And now I have to work with him again. Every day. Ugh."
"You had amazing chemistry with him in Oz," Dani points out.
"We did. And we still do—he was the best one who read for the part by far and he'll be amazing in the role."
"I'm sure he'll forgive you for being a ghosting ass."
Kurt glares at Elliott. "He already has."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Because he's going to ask me out! He wasn't upset at all when he saw me and he came up to me after rehearsals today and asked if I wanted to do dinner and I had to explain that I was already committed to seeing you two and he was so disappointed that I didn't invite him along."
Dani and Elliott exchange a look. "You know, Butt," Dani says kindly, referring to the nickname she had given him in college. 'Cute-as-a-button' had evolved to just 'Butt' and the nickname had stuck. "You can invite him along. If you like him, we wouldn't mind—"
"He fell asleep while he was blowing me, ok?"
Dani gapes. "What?"
"Halfway through, things stopped happening and I looked down and saw him drooling on my balls and not in a good way. My dick was plastered to his cheek."
The waitress, of course, chooses that moment to deliver their plates of food and Kurt blushes hot at her shocked look. She scuttles away without asking about needing anything else and Kurt groans. He'll have to double his tip to make up for this one.
Dani and Elliott collapse on each other, howling in laughter.
"No," Dani gasps, "he didn't."
"He did. He felt bad when he woke up and was very attentive afterwards. I suppose I should be proud that my cock-sucking skills are so good that I made him lose consciousness. I'm that good that I blissed him right out."
"That—" Elliott manages to get out "—should go on your grindr profile."
Kurt grimaces. "No, thank you. I'm swearing off men for a while."
"But, Kurt, you liked Adam." Dani says, still giggling.
Kurt shakes his head emphatically. "Adam is a sweet, kind man. We make incredible coworkers and have irreplaceable chemistry on stage. Where it needs to stay. I don't want a fling or a romance, especially with somebody that I have to work with every day. I should have never slept with him and because I did, now he's going to be over-eager and embarrassed every time he sees me. And he's going to try to prove that he is good in bed which was never the point."
Dani composes herself, smothering back the laughter. "You need a boyfriend."
"And you're not listening." Kurt snaps, stabbing at a sausage.
"No, no. I mean, a fake boyfriend. A fake boyfriend means that Adam can save face and not feel like your rejection reflects on his … performance." She snorts. "It would allow you both to return to your professional relationship without his feelings getting hurt."
Kurt dismisses the idea. "It'd never work. Nobody's going to believe me unless they see tangible proof. You know how gossip spreads backstage. Kitty will literally follow me home if she thinks that I'm hiding something."
Elliott shoves a forkful of eggs into his mouth. "I'll do it."
"You'll do what?" Kurt questions.
"I'll play your boyfriend. I could, what, pick you up from the theater once or twice a week? It's just one stop away from my apartment. That would be easy enough."
"What? No. This is a ridiculous suggestion."
"Tell you what," Elliott continues, "my guitar needs restringing. You pay for that, and I'll throw in a 'babe' in front of your friends."
"And what would Chaz say?" Kurt retorts, glad to have the excuse of Elliott's partner.
"I texted them already." Elliott holds up his phone. "They said 'tell Kurt I need him to show me his BJ techniques because I've never gotten you to bliss out."
Kurt sees the waitress scurrying away again in the corner of his eye. Great. He adds more to her mental tip. "Funny. Very funny."
"I never knew that I was in the company of a master. Teach us your ways, Obi-Wan, you're our only hope." Elliott and Dani collapse in giggles again.
"Oh, just stop it, you two." But he grins despite himself and manages to distract them to other topics of conversation. Despite their best intentions, it's been too long since they had had an afternoon together and they spend hours at their old greasy spoon hideout catching up and occasionally clapping for the latest performer that interrupts their meal. The food is delicious as always and he manages to mollify the waitress by adding dessert to their meal.
Kurt wraps his scarf around his neck, feeling much better than he did when he first sat down. Elliott touches his arm as he leaves into the chilly evening air. "Seriously, Butt. If you need me to pretend so you can smooth things out with Adam, I'm your lover boy."
Kurt is touched by his concern. Their friendship had been through some rough patches, especially in those first few years as roommates and bandmates, Kurt having to work through some jealousy at the easy way Elliott commandeered the world, while Elliott struggled to understand Kurt's admittedly prickly exterior. "Thanks for the offer. But Adam and I are both adults and I'm sure we can sort things out without me relying on a fake relationship."
Elliott claps his shoulder good-naturedly as he and Dani amble off in the opposite direction.
Balancing three cups of coffee, Kurt whistles the following morning as he pushes open the stage door and flashes his badge at the security officer. He really does love the early days of rehearsal, when they are all settling into their roles and learning their lines—every day is a fresh discovery into his character, as well as the particular quirks of the cast and crew. So far, especially now that Brody has left the production, he's pleased with the way that the cast seem to be meshing. He's excited to actually get up on the stage and start to feel the role of "Brian Collins" settle over him as they make the first markups. He was up early reciting lines as he went through his yoga routine and he's confident that he can get through the first scenes without additional prompts.
"Morning, Ms. Washington," he calls out to the woman looming over the stage manager with a clipboard in hand and gives her one of the coffees that he picked up that morning. While Ryan Durphy had not yet visited the set, his assistant Roz Washington had been a daily presence and had been loudly vocal about achieving Ryan's vision. Getting on her good graces is vitally important in making this production run smoothly.
She grins at him. "Always good to see some of the younger crowd with some manners on them. See if ya did that, Unique, I wouldn't be railing you so hard."
Unique looks far from impressed. "Excuse me? Are you saying that there is something wrong with Unique's manners?"
Kurt thrusts another coffee into Unique's hand. "And a coffee for you too, Unique. I'll meet you on stage in 10."
He backs away quickly before they can draw them into their bickering. Already he can tell that that friction is going to boil over into drama at some point in the next few weeks and he definitely doesn't want to get involved in that.
He stores his belongings in the small dressing-room—having a private dressing-room lost its novelty with Oz, but seeing his name on the door still makes him catch his breath—before heading back to the stage. Today they plan to mark up Act One, without the songs and orchestra as the music was still being edited, according to Brad.
Adam hurries across the stage when Kurt spots him. "Kurt! Hello. I brought you a coffee—" He frowns as he notices the cup in Kurt's hands "—but you apparently already have one."
"I'm a man of routine." Kurt smiles, trying to maintain a casual exterior. "Thanks for the offer though."
"It was no problem, of course." Adam pauses, "Before we start rehearsals, might I have a word?"
"Of course." Kurt replies, suppressing an inner sigh. Better to get it out now rather than having it affect their scenes.
"Oh my god! It is you!" A shrill voice echoes across the stage and both men look up to see a small blond man barrel across the stage. "I had hoped that I would get to run into you, but I never dreamed that I would get to work with you every single day, Kurt!" The man giggles excitedly, talking a mile a minute. "Remember me, Chandler Kiehl? I'm your biggest fan, well, I'm sure you've had others say that to you, but it's true in my case. I graduated last year from NYADA last year, just like you, but I haven't been able to get an audition yet, so I'm doing set work. It'll get me into the business, they say."
"Chandler. Hi. It's nice to see you again." Kurt manages faintly.
"Is this your first play since Oz? I've kept my eye out but I haven't seen your name anywhere so it must be! And to think, you'll be originating the role too so you'll be sure to be getting another Tony this year. Wow."
"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, ok?" He flashes a look at Adam.
"Oh, of course not. But hey, I was wondering, well, maybe we could get dinner together and you could give me some tips? Or coffee. We could start with coffee." Chandler laughs nervously.
He can only blame the words coming out of his mouth on the panic building in his chest. "I'm- I have a boyfriend." Both Adam and Chandler recoil and he stutters. "I… It's new."
Chandler looks chagrined. "Oh, of course. I only meant it as a professional dinner. Coffee. Nevermind. Really. I, um, had better get back."
Kurt watches him scuttle away, berating himself for the lie, before turning back to Adam. "So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" He says, overly brightly.
"Nothing important. Just that I look forward to working with you again." Adam doesn't meet his eyes. "I left my script in the changing room. I'll be back."
"Shit. Shit. Shit." Kurt groans as he fishes out his cell phone. "Change of plans," he texts Elliott, "can you meet me here at 6 with your best boyfriend look?"