The Wards React To TV From the Marvel Universe

Ashley sat in the Fantastic Four's entertainment room absolutely fuming at the anchors' dialog on the news program.

Missy, likewise, frowned. "So the news can just flat out lie?"

"Roxx News is owned by the Roxxon corporation. They do what they want and no one stops them," Ashley said bitterly. "Like, everyone knows they're the number one reason why it's not safe to eat the meat in Canada becuase they keep trying to profit off of Wendigos. When Taylor and I were patrolling with Ms. Marvel, she said that they basically got off scot-free for selling humanity out to the elves. Just assume that everything they say is a lie."

"So this Captain Britain person isn't a secret plant from Krakoa to enslave the people of the United Kingdom?"

"Look, that's obviously the old Captain Britain's sister... She used to be stuck in a Japanese girl's body though," Ashley clarified. "It's really weird and I don't know the details. And that picture of the current Excaliber roster is obviously 'shopped because there's no way in hell that the X-Men would ever work with Apocalypse."

"Are you absolutely sure about that?" Missy asked.

"Of course I am. That would be like Captain America working with Hitler."

"That picture didn't look edited," Lisa added.

"WE WIL EAT YOUR BRAIN!" Ashley said through a mouth full of dagger-like fangs and using the vocal filter from her Superior Apocalypse stint.

"If you had the guts to kill you'd have killed Alexandria," Lisa deadpanned back.

"Maybe we should just change the channel?" Dean suggested in the hopes of killing the argument.

Missy responded by hitting the up-channel button and the news program was replaced by a fuzzy white critter talking to the viewers.

"Oh, god, change it. Change it," Ashley said suddenly.

"Why, it seems nice," Graced added, speaking up for the first time.

"This is Xemnu from the Magic Planet," Ashley said derisively. "It's a baby show for babies about an alien from a magic planet... Except that's not a guy in a costume. Xemnu the Titan, also known as the Living Hulk, is an actual evil alien-cyborg with powerful mind control abilities who was using this show to make people susceptible to his control and then he got stopped. I don't even know why they're... Wait, this is a new episode... And it's on Roxx Junior, problem solved."

Not wanting to be brainwashed, Missy changed the channel again. This time, it was a massive green-grey reptilian monster running through New York City and fighting two giant people in yellow and black bug-themed outfits. "Oh, hey, a Godzilla movie. I guess without real giant monsters destroying Japan's infrastructure there was nothing to kill the interest in these. Why's it on the History Channel though?"

"No," Ashley clarified, "this is a documentary about the Avengers. This is News Real Footage from the time they fought Godzilla. So what did you mean about Godzilla movies? You've got movies about him?"

Missy's eyes bugged out and then she changed the channel. "We are not having this conversation right now."

The next channel was a cartoon about a man with Black hair in a blue costume and a red cape with a Gold and red S-Shield emblem fighting some kind of grey-skinned villain in dark-colored armor. "So who's thins a licensed property of?" Missy asked.

"Nobody, that's Superman. He's a fictional character." She shrugged. "I don't really know that much about him since I always preferred stories of real Superheroes."

It was at that moment that Franklin Richards walked in. "Oh, hey, Superman. You know he's real in a parallel universe? I met him once and he was briefly a Herald of Galactus. Which, by the transitive property, means that he was my Herald."

It was at this moment that Missy threw the remote at Ashley, who caught it, and stomped out of the room mumbling about how there was no normal TV in this universe.

Meanwhile, Ashley flipped the channel a few times until she caught sight a noodly stretchy limbed scary girl with a laser scythe beating up a kid in a pink letterman jacket and some technicolor people singing about meeting someone's other friends. "wow." Ashley said. "I am way behind."