She's blessed and cursed me with memories of her. The way she could look me dead in the eyes for hours and never look away, never flinch or budge—not like everybody else. The way she smiled and laughed. The way my chest felt light and airy when she came round. The way she sighed when I kissed her. The way she accepted me for who I was. Really accepted me. Until she didn't no more.
I had her, and like a wisp she's gone. I still can't quite work through how what we had was dissolved so quickly and easily. God almighty, I don't know what more I could have done. Would have sworn we'd have seen each other through the worst of it, through hell or high water. If it were up to me, we would have. Thought that's what love was. But I guess you can only hold on to somebody so tight. If they don't want you, if they don't hold on to you right back, there ain't nothing you can do. You have to open your hands.
It just hurts like nothing I've ever known. Not anything in my life so far was like this. Losing ma, living through pa, making it on my own. Nothing comes close. I don't need to learn this lesson again. I can only hope I never know another love.
*END PART 1*